by Kate Rudolph
“Only for the moment there, I’m fine now.” He wanted her to keep tending to him, but he wouldn’t force her attentions with lies. He couldn’t do it. “You barely scratched me.”
“Head wounds can be aggravated—never mind.” She leaned backward, arching her chest so close that Kayleb had to push down another kind of groan. He curled his hands into tight fists and pressed them hard into the cracked tile of the floor to keep from doing something suicidal like touching her. Tessa tugged something closer and sat back up. She stuck her hand in her bag and pulled out a small first aid kit. “I don’t have regen gel, but there is a healing cream in here. It should do the trick.”
Kayleb nodded, afraid that if he opened his mouth to say anything she’d push away. The bleeding had already stopped on the wound and he could bandage it when he got home, but he didn’t tell her that. This much contact he could steal, until she gave him more. Until she was ready to give him another chance.
Tessa wiped at the wound with a moist cloth and then applied an astringent cream to his temple. Kayleb didn’t try to hide his wince or stop his sharp intake of breath. Regen gel didn’t sting like this, but that was probably one of the reasons it was so expensive. Despite his pain, Tessa kept going. She applied a bandage and smoothed her hand of the adhesive. Kayleb watched her work, no longer caring if his eyes glowed red. He wanted so desperately to reach up and touch her hand that he clenched his fists until his fingers threatened to draw blood. Her thumb brushed against his cheek and he turned his face into it, brushing his lips against her palm. He didn’t kiss her and for one eternity of a second she sat there with him, his face cradled in her hand.
Their eyes locked and Kayleb willed himself to remember as emotion, need, and want, all in one tangled mess of desire, poured through him. He could feel these things for her, know she was his, and yet he knew nothing more than her first name. Knew nothing more than that he’d loved her once and that he’d do anything now to win her back and remember why.
Something must have shown in his face. Tessa’s eyes shuddered and she pulled her hand away, standing up and shoving her bag under a ragged blanket on the small cot in the room.
“You should go. And see a doctor sometime soon, in case of concussion.” She wasn’t looking at him, instead staring at the door right over his shoulder. Her cheeks carried that cherry red color of her blush and her eyes sparkled with flecks of gold, reflected from the sun outside.
Kayleb didn’t move. “Who were those men chasing you? Are you in trouble?” That much was clear. They were sitting in an abandoned building in one of the worst neighborhoods in the city. If he’d met Tessa on the Kella, she’d fallen far in the last few months, and he needed to know why, needed to know how he could help.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about.” Tessa’s expression had closed off completely, lips pressed together in a tight line, and shoulders drawn back. “I have everything under control.”
The setting suggested otherwise, but Kayleb kept that thought to himself. Now that the buzz of seeing her for the first time—well, not technically—was starting to wear off, Kayleb spotted the dark circles under her eyes and the sallow undertone her skin took when her blush faded. Tessa looked exhausted, like she’d neither had sufficient sleep nor food in weeks. But Kayleb didn’t point that out. He’d been around humans long enough to know that they didn’t like to be contradicted, even when they were clearly wrong. “I have friends here, we can help you.”
She let out some sound that might have been related to a laugh, but there was no humor in it. “I don’t need your friends. Just pretend you didn’t see me and this will all be over soon. Now go, and make sure you’re not seen.”
He could refuse. They both knew that she couldn’t physically force him to leave, not with his height and his strength. But battles weren’t won by brawn alone. Kayleb reached into his pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper. He had to scrounge around for a pen, but he found one and scribbled down his contact information. Instead of handing it to her, he set it on the floor and slid it over. “If you need anything, anything, I’ll help. Even if you never want to see me again.”
He stood and left without looking to see if she reached for the paper.
TESSA WAITED FOR THREE minutes after the door shut behind Kayleb, staring at that tiny strip of paper he’d left on the floor. She was frozen in indecision, one part of her demanding that she swoop down and hide his address away for safe keeping while the part that remembered the pain and heartbreak of their parting screamed at her to leave it be. They were done, it was over, nothing could change her mind.
But he’d been standing right there.
God, Tessa could still taste the scent of him on the air, even over the stale stinky miasma of the building. She should have never touched him, she’d be remembering the warm give of his skin under her fingers for days. Weeks, maybe.
She couldn’t stay here, though. Not when Kayleb knew the location, not when there was a risk the pirates had staked it out and would see him leaving, giving her away. Tessa could pretend that it was only a matter of safety that made that decision, but her hands shook as she zipped up her bag and without giving too much more thought to it, she stuffed Kayleb’s note in a zippered pocket.
After all, if the pirates searched the building, she didn’t want to lead them straight to him. She was pissed, that didn’t mean that she wanted him dead.
Tessa staggered and put a hand on the wall beside the door to steady herself. Kayleb dead? No, that wasn’t allowed. Her heart had been torn out of her chest when he didn’t recognize her anymore, but she couldn’t bear the thought that he wasn’t somewhere living his life.
She groaned and banged her head against the hand plastered to the wall. She hadn’t gone to space to fall in love, so why was that giant mistake still anchored around her heart, unable to let her go?
He’d be out of the building by now, she was certain. It was time to go. Tessa slung her bag back over her shoulders and made sure there was no sign that she’d hidden in the room. The wipes she’d used on Kayleb were secured in her first aid kit for later disposal. Other than a bit of disturbed dust, the room bore no hint of their presence.
Tessa took off, closing the door behind her.
She buried thoughts of Kayleb as she walked back down the stairs, on the lookout for the pirates who’d been on her ass. When the tug she’d been feeling in her chest since she came to the city urged her down one street, she chose another. She knew who lay at the other end of that bond, and if she wanted to meet him again, all she had to do was call.
But she wouldn’t. Not now. Not ever. She’d get out of this mess herself and then get off the planet.
She did her best to ignore that pulse inside her. She’d learned a few tricks and after some minutes of concentrated breathing, the awareness subsided into something like white noise. She’d have to concentrate hard to know where Kayleb was.
That was for the best. Certainly.
She didn’t let herself dwell on the red glow of his eyes as she’d dragged her fingers across his temple. She didn’t think about his strong thighs under her own. And she definitely didn’t remember what his skin felt like under her lips, the taste of him as fresh after six months as it had been the day he first kissed her. At least she hadn’t kissed him today. She had that much control.
That scrap of paper was the heaviest thing in her bag and she wanted desperately to grab it out of its pocket and cradle it in her hand. The straps of her bag dug into her shoulder with the psychic weight of possibility, but Tessa made sure that her feet kept moving. She had another place she could use to catch a few winks of sleep.
Tomorrow she could deal with thoughts of Kayleb. No, tomorrow she’d deal with the tech she’d stolen and then get out of New York before she risked seeing him again, before she went completely insane and used the information that he’d given her to contact him.
Given enough time she’d break. Already her resolve was weakening, her memories taki
ng on a softer tone as if his presence made up for the utter shit her life had turned into.
That wasn’t his fault.
Tessa ground her teeth. But her traitorous mind was right. Kayleb wasn’t responsible for the fact that pirates had kidnapped her. Maybe she wouldn’t have been there if he’d invited her to go away with him, to come to Earth. But she could have just as easily asked him to stay, and then they’d both be on the run like this.
Or worse.
Oh, no. She swallowed as her brain supplied those nightmare-inducing images of Kayleb lying on the ground of that catwalk on the ship, his head bleeding and breath wheezing in an unhealthy rhythm. She’d thought that she’d lost him that night, and in a way, she had. He still walked and talked, but there was no recollection in his eyes when he looked at her.
Even today, when he’d stared at her like the stars revolved around her head, he hadn’t seen her. He didn’t remember, he’d said as much. And if he didn’t remember her after all these months she doubted he ever would.
Tessa almost wished she was brave. If she was brave it wouldn’t matter, she could put her heart on the line again and try and build something new from the ashes. She could get close to him to see if he’d really meant what he said back them, all that crap about fate and lifesaving sex.
She could ask for help and not be so damned alone anymore.
Tessa took another turn and noted the street. At least her sense of direction hadn’t betrayed her, even as her mind reeled at thoughts of giving in to her heart and chasing Kayleb down. But she wasn’t going to do that. She couldn’t. Because it had hurt too much, letting him go the first time. She couldn’t do it again.
CHAPTER SIX
SIX MONTHS AGO
The Kella was big, but that didn’t mean there were a ton of places for a romantic rendezvous. Not that this was a romantic rendezvous. All Kayleb had said was that he wanted to meet. And since the med bay seemed suddenly empty and lifeless without him, Tessa had jumped at the chance. She wished she could have told him to meet in her quarters, but she shared space with Symes and didn’t want an audience. Since Kayleb was bunked with his brother, he had a similar predicament.
But Tessa had been on the ship long enough to know her nooks and crannies. All the crew knew the perfect spots for quick hook ups and the subtle signs to use to mark a space as occupied. She’d never before even thought of stealing away into the passenger storage deck, but there was a perpetually empty cubby with more than enough room for two people. She’d placed a jacket on the hook at the end of the hall to tell the crew that the space was used and now all she had to do was wait for Kayleb to show up.
He was late.
They’d only been separated for less than a day, but her heart hammered when she heard heavy footsteps making their way up the metal stairs. A shadow crossed the door and then he stepped inside, mouth wide in a grin, the rest of him shadowed from the dim light.
Tessa grinned back, her heart light. Fizzy bubbles swam through her blood and she felt like she could fly. She’d never felt this way before, never known it was possible to feel so much so quickly for a stranger. But there was nothing strange about Kayleb, not even with his blue skin, sometimes red eyes, and retractable claws. No, he was completely perfect.
Kayleb reached for her at the same moment Tessa opened her arms to embrace him. He spun her close in a clever move that belonged on a dance floor somewhere and she came with a yelp of laughter. His arms wrapped around her and they swayed from side to side before stilling. She heard his heartbeat where her ear pressed against his chest, strong and sure, with no sign that only a few days before he’d been on the verge of bleeding out.
“How’s your side?” she asked. He no longer needed bandages and the last time she’d checked, the only evidence of his injury was the shiny new skin that had grown over the wound.
“All better,” he promised. “Sorry I’m late. Krayter wanted to watch a vid and I needed to give him an excuse to get away.” Kayleb’s fingers tangled in her hair.
A secret thrill went through Tessa. When the brothers boarded the ship, they’d been inseparable. And now Kayleb was choosing to spend time with her instead, she was that special to him. “Don’t worry about it,” she reassured him. “I have the whole night off.”
“Do you?” he asked wolfishly, even though she’d mentioned it before.
“Yes,” she said. “And it’s just you and me, all alone. No risk of interruptions up here.” She trailed a finger down his chest, watching as his eyes shifted from their normal dark color to that demonic red that meant he was feeling something intense. “So what are we going to do about it?”
Possibility hung in the air between them. It had nearly suffocated them in med bay when there was nothing they could do about it, tension so thick that Tessa could practically see it in the air. She’d wanted to climb on top of Kayleb the moment his wound could take it, kiss him for days, and never let him go. But the med bay was almost as busy as the mess some days and she couldn’t risk it.
But Kayleb wasn’t her patient any more.
He covered her tracing hand with his own, crushing her hand to his chest. When he leaned in, his kiss was gentle, tasting her with utter care and smashing her to pieces in a single press of lips. Tessa’s mouth quivered as he swiped his tongue against the seam of her lips, tenderly requesting entrance and conquering her with fragile strength.
Could she fall in love from a single kiss? Maybe. Yes. Absolutely. She’d never had a chance against him.
The embrace turned from sweet to hot in a single inhalation, a moan escaping her throat with the headiest promise of more. Kayleb stepped closer, backing her up against the wall of the room, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, the hard press of his erection a promise of things to come. But not yet, not while they poured all of their promises and hopes into this tangling of tongues.
Her hands tugged at his shirt, pulling it up and away and tangling between an ear and his neck. But as soon as she chucked it away they were back to kissing, her lip curving against his, unable and unwilling to quell the happiness bubbling within her. It was so right, so freaking perfect that she didn’t know what to do with herself. When her hands found the buckle of his pants, Kayleb flattened his hand against her, preventing her from unbuckling him and freeing the hard press of his cock.
“Wait,” he mumbled against her, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Hmm?” She kissed down the edge of his jaw, her lips brushing against almost invisible stubble. Kayleb arched his neck and his hands dug into her hips as he let out a groan that went straight to her core and only made her hungrier with desire.
But Kayleb’s moans turned frustrated and he somehow put some space between them. “It’s really important.”
With a deep breath, Tessa stilled. The intensity in his eyes was a vise around her heart. Her hands still lay on his shoulders. They’d put a little distance between themselves, but she couldn’t step any further away. “What is it?” she asked, her mind racing with all the possible disasters that could come from hooking up with a passenger.
Kayleb grinned and reached up to grab one of her hands. He laced their fingers together and gave her palm a squeeze. “This isn’t just one time. Not for me. It’s...” he paused, searching for the word. “It’s everything.”
Tessa didn’t dare to breathe, but her heart opened up and her lips curled up into a smile so big her face threatened to crack in half. “Oh?” she said, deceptively light. “Is that all?”
Kayleb just stared at her, waiting to see what else she had to say. But they didn’t need words. She closed the distance between them and kissed him once more.
TESSA STIFLED A MOAN as the memory released her and she rose from an unsatisfactorily fitful sleep. Light filtered in through the broken hole in the wall and though it would be warm by midday, her hidey-hole was freezing. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing up and down in hopes of generating a little warmth.
“I’d be happy to give you a hand with that,” an alluringly familiar voice offered.
She reared back, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. She’d hidden away on the fourteenth story of a half-finished building and the only way to access the room she was in involved some very precarious climbing across a patch of floor that hadn’t yet been put in. And yet Kayleb was sitting at the foot of her makeshift little bed as if he belonged there.
“What are you doing here?” The words came out a little muffled from exhaustion and Tessa pressed herself back against the wall as if she could somehow put enough space between them to escape the pull. Of all the dreams he had to interrupt, it was that one! Did the universe actually hate her? It was the only thing that made sense. “How long have you been staring at me like a creep? It’s not cool to watch people while they’re sleeping.” She hitched her jacket up, keeping it over her shoulders and chest like a blanket. It did little to keep her warm, but she’d take any shield she could get right now.
Kayleb watched her pull back, his expression unreadable. She didn’t like it and she didn’t like that she didn’t like it. He leaned until there was less than a meter of space between them and something in her chest loosened, making it a little easier to breathe. “I just got here,” he said softly, or it seemed soft. The wind this high on the building blew something fierce and normal speaking was softer than a whisper. “And I came because you need help.”
“I’m fine,” she said, her words belied by the sharp burst of wind that hit an exposed strip of skin and made her gasp from the cold. She bit back a curse and grit her teeth against the discomfort. “I told you to stay away.” She couldn’t deal with fighting off pirates and Kayleb, and she didn’t know what to do if he made this hard for her.
“This is fine?” Kayleb asked, looking around. “You’re being chased and sleeping in half constructed buildings, how is that fine?” His eyes blazed and he held himself taut, like if he loosened his shoulders at all he’d lunge forward and sweep her up into his arms and never let her go.