I sucked in a deep breath and did as the sign asked. A male receptionist sat at a tiny desk in the corner. I approached him, hoping my nervousness didn’t show, and reached for the sign-in sheet.
“Are you here to audition?” he asked in a calm, soothing voice. He wore black frame glasses and a colorful bow tie. He smiled at me the same way people had at my parents’ funerals.
Shit. My nerves had to be showing. “Yes,” I answered in a wobbly voice. “Where do I go?”
He handed me a visitor sticker, which I stuck to my striped sweater, and pointed to the elevator. “Third floor. Room 101. Good luck.”
“Thanks.” I hoofed it across the lobby and darted into the elevator.
When the doors opened on the third floor, it took all I could do to step off the elevator. Girls of varying ages and sizes crowded the area, each one wearing heels and tight dresses. I gazed about the room and cringed. Glitter. Tattoos. Odd piercings. Stilettos.
I glanced down at my skinny jeans and old sneakers and experienced a surge of fear. Why was I here? Just because a stranger told I’d be right for the role didn’t mean I believed her.
I turned to leave, but I bumped into a body built like a dream and Christmas-scented. He reminded me of pine needles and soap.
“You came.”
The amused voice brought my gaze up, and I encountered a familiar pair of blue eyes. Mark.
Holy crap. He was even more attractive than I remembered. His light brown hair was spiky in the front. Like a new age Mark-Paul Gosselaar from the many Saved By The Bell reruns I’d watched, but much cuter.
I looked away from the grown-up Zack Morris fantasy come to life and motioned to the girls before me. “I’m not right for this.”
He touched my back, right above the base of my spine, and ushered me forward. “How do you know? These girls, they’re nothing special. But you,” he broke off to tweak my nose, “will become a star.”
The charming lies dripped from his lips like honey. And like a fool, I lapped it up. “Do you really think so?”
He picked up a clipboard and handed it to me with a wink. “Fill this out and give it to Renee. I’ll make sure she knows I vouched for you.”
I looked toward the woman he pointed out. She looked like someone’s grandma, grey-haired, shriveled and old.
The questionnaire asked odd questions. Why would a production company want to know the date of my last period and if I’d been tested for STD’s? I figured it must have something to do with their insurance policies, so I continued down the pages, answering each question until number sixty-nine.
Do you engage in anal sex?
I looked up, chuckling at the humor attached to the question’s numbering, and glanced at the girls seated near me. They kept their attention on the paperwork.
Realization slowly sank in.
Was this a porn movie?
My fingers shook, barely keeping a grip on the pen as I checked No. Sure I was being punked, I took the application to Renee, who flipped through the pages I handed her, and nodded. “Here’s your number. Wait for it to be called before proceeding to the green room.”
I moved aside, still wondering why I’d come. Filling out the paperwork brought home the fact I was unprepared for the role, but I needed the money and I’d do anything.
I retreated to my seat and pulled out my phone. I’d had it turned off all day, but I pressed the power button and waited for it to come on.
As expected, I had several texts from Tom, ranging from pleading to outright hostile. I deleted them, wishing I could wipe him from memory too.
Next was a message from Jase. The simple Where are you? confused me. If Tom had somehow contacted Jase, his reaction would be different. Or at least, I hoped so.
I deleted Jase’s message too, unable to cope with it. Or him. He’d know something was wrong. He’d hear it in my voice.
I turned the phone off and tucked it into my pocket. I wished I’d thought to bring a book. Judging from the sporadic numbers being called, the auditions took a while to complete. I watched the girls come and go, their hair mussed and lipstick smeared.
I reminded myself of what Mark said about easy money and steeled my nerves. I had to at least try. If it didn’t work, I’d find another waitressing job. Anything to make ends meet.
After what seemed like hours, an assistant called my name. I made my way to the door marked Green Room and handed my number to the burly man guarding the door. He eyed me up and down before allowing me to pass.
The soles of my sneakers squeaked on the parquet floor as I made my way down a narrow hallway. A crowd of people waited in a rectangular room. Mark was one of them. I nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw he was shirtless, his chest gleaming with an odd concoction of oil and bronzer.
“He…llo,” I stuttered out.
Mark drew me forward and spoke over my head to the people in the room. “This is the girl. She’s perfect. A diamond in the rough.”
It was the second time he’d used the phrase, and I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or pleased. I ran my hand over my hair, frizzed by the humidity in the air, and studied the studio. A bed took up most of the space. My heart took a nosedive. So I’d been right.
A short man, dressed in slacks and a cardigan, tucked a clipboard under his arm and clapped his hands together. “Okay, Diamond. Let’s see how well you and Mark get along. Get undressed and we’ll begin the audition.”
“Excu…excuse me?” My voice ended with a squeak. “You want me to strip?”
Although I’d suspected it, I hadn’t been prepared to get naked.
The man cocked his head to the side. “Yes, sweetheart. Strip. Now. We’ve got a hundred girls out there, and there’s no time to be shy.”
I turned to Mark. He took both of my hands in his and held them to his chest. “I won’t hurt you. I promise. Leave your panties on if you want.”
Actually I didn’t. The granny panties I’d worn should never see the light of day. Not unless I wanted to embarrass the hell out of myself.
I tugged my hands away and took a step backward. “I’m sorry. I should go. It was a mistake coming here.”
“Is the girl chickening out?” the short man yelled. “Time’s wasting, Mark.”
He threw his hand up, tossing the clipboard onto the floor.
“Five minutes, George!” Mark shouted. He blocked my sight of the room with his wide shoulders and leaned in close. “What’s your name?”
“Cara,” I answered, hypnotized by the sweetness of his gaze.
He touched my cheek and moved his hand down to cup my neck. “Cara, we’re all scared our first time. It’s completely natural. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, but I meant what I said last night. It’s easy money. Just lay back and let me handle it. You’ll be fine.”
“But they want me to take off my clothes!” I whispered. “My legs need shaving.”
He grinned down at me. “Stubble can be sexy.”
“Not on a woman,” I argued.
“Listen, Cara. If you get this role, your life will never be the same. The camera will love you. Our viewers are going to adore you. You’ll be the star. I promise. Now take off that pretty, little sweater.”
I don’t know why I listened to him, but something in his voice comforted me. Or perhaps it was the promise of money.
I grasped the hem of my sweater and pulled it up, exposing the plain white sports bra I wore. I crossed my arms over my chest and turned as red as the blinking light on the camera they pointed toward me.
It wasn’t as easy to remove my jeans. I kicked off my shoes and hesitated. A bandage covered the newest cut on my thigh, but I felt they could see the evidence on my skin. Somehow discover how broken I was. Damaged.
George retrieved his clipboard and moved closer. “Any day now.”
Mark stepped behind me. His lips hovered near my ear. “Do it. Just pretend it’s only me and you in the room.”
I closed my eyes and let his honey-
smooth voice wash over me. Was this desire or something else? Revealing myself to a roomful of strangers terrified me, but I had to strip for these people.
I undid the button of my jeans, unzipped, and slid the pants down my legs. I pulled off my socks and stepped out of the jeans.
Mark toyed with the waistband of my panties. “Very nice,” he said with a light chuckle.
“Shut up. It was laundry day.” The quip leapt unbidden to my lips. Where had this confidence come from?
I turned to him and let my fingers trail up his oil-slick chest. I became someone different. Someone new.
He smiled down at me, his blue eyes dark with unknown emotion. “I was right. You are a diamond.”
I still wasn’t sure if the audition entailed sex, but I didn’t care. It was enough to know I’d pleased Mark.
“Excellent, you two.” George, the man I assumed to be the director, called out. “Now move to the bed.”
Nerves gripped me again. “Exactly what are we filming?”
Mark ushered me to the bed and set me on the edge. He hovered over me, his lips inches from mine. “You haven’t figured it out yet, princess?”
“Maybe.” I held my breath and waited. His mouth was close. So very close.
His laughter caressed my lower lip. “I like you, Cara. You’re sweet. Innocent.”
More than he could ever know. I put my hand in the center of his chest and pushed. Hard. I opened my mouth to stop him, but bright lights flickered on overhead and a strident voice called an end to the scene.
A familiar, strident voice.
I wind milled my arms and struggled to climb off the bed. “Let me go,” I demanded and shoved past Mark, who gaped at me.
I’m sure I looked like ridiculous, but it was imperative I escape the room. Get my clothes and leave before he saw me.
“Cara.”
I paused with one leg stuffed into my jeans and groaned. God damn it. I had the worst, goddamned luck on the planet.
“Everyone out. I need to speak to her alone.”
The room emptied, but I refused to turn and face Jase. I pulled my jeans on and fastened them.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
I felt movement behind me and braced myself for what would probably be the most embarrassing moment of my life. With a huge sigh, I turned around and met the familiar green gaze of my best friend.
“Hey, Jase.”
Chapter Four
Jase looked good. Like really good. The black sweater molded to his firm chest and the dark jeans fit like a second skin. Stubble darkened his jaw and he looked older. Sophisticated.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, determined to turn the conversation around on him.
“I work here,” he responded. “Why are you here?”
On the set of a porn movie, he meant. “I needed the money.”
“Goddamn it, Cara. Why? I told you to call me if you needed money.”
I snatched my sweater from the floor and tugged it over my heard. Static attacked the frizz in my hair. Energy crackled in the room, but had nothing to do with my locks.
I smoothed my palms across the strands of hair sticking to my cheeks and forehead. “I refuse to be a charity case.”
“It’s not charity,” he argued.
I bent down to slip on my sneakers. “Yes, it is. You don’t owe me anything, Jase. I can’t keep mooching off you.”
Never once had I wondered where Jase’s money came from. He’d gone to film school and returned to Alabama two years ago to work in production. I hadn’t thought to question him for more. “You work here? What do you do?”
Was he a porn star? Somehow the thought didn’t gross me out as much as it should’ve.
The skin over his cheekbones darkened. His eyes were dark green, almost moss-colored instead of the emerald I remembered. “Does it matter?”
“Hell yes, it does.” I stepped closer and lowered my voice. “My best friend works in the porn industry. Isn’t that something you should’ve told me?”
He gripped my upper arm. Tight. “Just like you should’ve told me you needed money and you’d left Tom’s? Apparently we haven’t always been honest with each other.”
It hurt more than I wanted to admit. I’d assumed I knew everything about Jase. We discussed various topics, from movies to relationships to football. Why would he keep this from me? “Let me go, Jase.”
He didn’t listen. “Your uncle called me.”
“And?” His words pierced me, bringing a fresh wave of disappointment.
Jase loosened his grip, but he didn’t let me go. “He said you attacked him.”
“Attacked him?” Laughter fell from my lips. I shook with the force of my emotions. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Did you do it?” Jase whispered. “I’ll help you if you did.”
I stared at him, the man I knew better than any, and wondered why he had to ask. “No, I didn’t do it.”
“I didn’t think so, but—” He heaved a sigh. “you haven’t been yourself lately.”
Anger filled me. Hot, fierce, and stabbing. “Since my parents died? Is that what you mean?”
“Damn it, Cara. You know that’s not what I mean.”
I overlooked the sincerity in his voice and did what I always did; hurt the person I cared about the most. “I’m sorry if I don’t believe you. How can I trust the word of a man who makes money from the degradation of women?”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’ve got news for you. Porn is the opposite of degradation. It gives women power. Did you see how Mark fell under your spell? Sex gives women all the power.”
“Bullshit.” I knew for a fact it wasn’t so. My experience with Tom had taught me so.
“You don’t believe me?” Jase let go of my arm and motioned to the bed. “I’ve seen countless women spread their legs for the cameras. Easy, loose women. Ones you’d never look at twice on the street, but bring in the right woman and no one can tear their eyes away.”
“Are you saying I’m that woman?” My disbelief was plain to hear.
“Mark says you could be.” Jase scrubbed his hands down his face. “But it’s not the point. I need to know why you ran away.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and wondered how long he’d been in the room. Had he seen me touch Mark? Had he watched me strip? “I don’t feel like telling you.”
“Your uncle threatened to press charges.”
I lowered my eyebrows, perilously close to growling. “I’d like to see him try.”
“Something had to have happened. You don’t just up and leave. That’s not like you.”
It was a mistake to come here. The damned flyer. If I’d never listened to Mark, I never would’ve fought with the only friend I had. “I should go.”
“Cara.”
The sound of my name on his lips stopped me. I dragged my gaze up to meet his, not wanting to be touched by the tenderness in his eyes, but I was. “What?”
“At least tell me where you’re staying.”
I shook my head. “No.”
He muttered a violent oath. “You don’t trust me.”
“I don’t trust him,” I stressed. Tears pricked my eyelids, but I blinked them away. “I can’t let him find me.”
The fight left Jase, and he gathered me to his side. His familiar scent washed over me, reminding me he was still the boy I’d known forever, despite the sexy packaging, still the one person I trusted to never hurt me.
“You’ve got to confide in me sometime. You can’t keep running from things.”
I rubbed my nose against his sweater and mumbled into the soft fabric. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend?”
His chuckle rumbled against my cheek. “Is that what this is about?”
I lifted my head and pinned him with a glare. “So it’s true?”
He tucked hair behind my ear and stroked the lobe. “I brought a girl home for Christmas, yes. But we’re not dating.”
“Then
who was she?”
His lips curved into a faint smile. “She was an actress, one I paid to pretend to be my girlfriend.”
“You paid a porn actress to be your girlfriend?” Disbelief and shock made the words louder than I intended.
Jase stilled his fingers, but kept them near my ear. “My mom has been after me to date. Rachel was my way of shutting her up.”
Rachel. My heart filled with jealousy for the unknown woman. “Did you—”
“Sleep with her?” Jase supplied. At my nod, he shook his head. “No. She’s just an employee.”
I digested everything he’d told me. From the biggest shock of knowing he worked in the porn industry to the fact I’d just auditioned to be in his film. I buried my face into his sweater again. “They must think I’m an idiot.”
“Who?” Jase stroked my hair and continued to hold me close.
“Your co-workers. Mark. I didn’t know it was a skin flick before I came here.”
“And now you know?” he prodded.
“Do you suppose I can do it?”
He made a huffing noise beneath his breath. “You’d make money. No doubt about it. Do I want you to do it? No, not at all. What do you want?”
No one ever asked me what I wanted. My parents had assumed I would obey, which I had, mostly. My uncle thought I would submit. Jase was the only person who’d ever cared about my wishes. “I don’t know what I want.”
It felt good to be held. So many times he’d held me since October, but this was the first time he’d done it without me sobbing in his arms.
I realized how hard he was. How firm. My cheeks heated, and I was glad he couldn’t see my face.
“I’m hate to break up this lovely reunion scene, but we have auditions to film,” an amused voice said from the doorway.
Jase released me and turned to Mark, who gave us a shit-eating grin. My cheeks heated again with embarrassment. I’d been such a naive fool.
Mark walked past me and tweaked my nose, a gesture he seemed fond of. “Good job, Diamond.”
“Diamond?” Jase questioned.
Coming Soon Page 3