I was halfway to my goal when the skies opened up. Rain fell in sheets around me. I turned my face to the gray sky and savored the dampness on my face. If only the rain could wash away my sorrow.
“Cara!”
I lowered my head and watched as a figure jogged toward me. Jase, decked out in a black rain slicker. He looked good enough to eat with dampened curls clinging to his forehead and his broad shoulders filling the lines of his coat.
He swiped a hand across his damp face. “What are you doing out here?”
“Walking.” For the first time, I noticed the chill of water seeping through my clothes. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my waist.
Jase cursed and removed his coat. He helped me into it, doing up the closures himself. His T-shirt immediately soaked through, outlining his muscular chest.
He finished with the coat and settled his hands on my shoulders. “Why in the hell didn’t you come home when it started raining?”
I blinked away the raindrops clinging to my lashes. “It’s not my home.”
He either didn’t hear or pretended he hadn’t. He led me back the way he’d come. “Are you trying to catch pneumonia?”
“It’s not so cold,” I argued.
He shot me a hard look. “Cold enough.”
I stumbled after him, not wanting to admit I was chilled to the bone. “Why did you come after me?”
He slowed his pace long enough for me to catch up to him. “Honey called. She wants you to come in for a costume fitting.”
My spirits sank. I’d hoped he came for me. “On Sunday?”
He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. “She won’t be here the rest of the week. She’s needed on-set in Florida for another of my productions. She wanted to be sure you were outfitted before she left.”
“Oh. Okay.” I’d looked forward to Honey being with me, and the news of her absence disappointed me.
After another quick shower and a fresh change of clothes, I headed downtown with Jase. He’d offered to drive me. Although I thought it best we keep our distance, I preferred to ride with him instead of a cab. I had my bike, but Jase steadfastly refused the idea when I suggested it.
After several minutes of silence, Jase turned down the radio. “I’m sorry about last night.”
“It’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it.” I turned my gaze out the window.
“Yes, we do.” He reached over and touched my knee. “I don’t want things to change between us.”
“Neither do I.” That much at least we agreed on.
“You’re important to me. I don’t want to lose what we have.”
“I don’t either.” I turned my attention to him.
He squeezed my kneecap before moving his hand away. All too soon we arrived at his building. Honey waited for us on the second floor. The building seemed deserted, but all the lights blazed in Honey’s domain.
She took my hand and led me to a room across the hall. It turned out to be a large closet, stuffed with various articles of clothing and props. My gaze skittered away from the lacy, frilly costumes and locked on the whips and bondage items. “Oh!”
Nervous anticipation forced me forward. I reached out and ran my fingers down the length of a studded whip.
Did Jase own something like this? Would it hurt?
Honey moved forward. “I selected a few items you may like. Let’s try them on.”
The first was a typical school girl outfit. I held up the plaid skirt and chuckled. “Seriously?”
Honey passed me a white button-up blouse and a red bra. “Put it on.”
Conscious of her earlier warning, I didn’t turn my back to her as I slipped out of my clothes and bra. The red silk cupped my breasts, making them appear much larger than normal. The skirt was short, barely covering my simple cotton panties.
Honey fussed with the shirt, leaving most of the buttons undone and tying the ends in a bow beneath my breasts.
“Perfect,” she stated as she turned me toward a full-length mirror. “What do you think?”
I had to admit, I looked pretty hot.
Honey skimmed her palms over my still-damp hair. “I have a plane to catch, so I don’t have time to style your hair, but let’s show Dagger.”
“What?” Shock reverberated through my system. “I can’t show him!”
Honey cocked her head to the side. “Dagger gets final approval of all costuming. Why else would he be here?”
I wasn’t sure of how much Honey knew of mine and Jase’s relationship, so I didn’t fill her in. Instead, I followed her into the large, open room and kept my head down.
Jase had taken up residence at the end of the room. He stopped typing on his phone and glanced up.
“Well?” Honey said. “What do you think?”
Jase’s expression remained cool, but I noted the tight way he held his jaw and the tenseness in his shoulders. “Very nice. Turn around.”
I did as he asked and glanced over my shoulder at him. Jase rubbed his finger over his bottom lip several times. “Bend over.”
“Huh?”
His gaze met mine, dark and sensual. “Bend over.”
I straightened my shoulders and bent over at the waist, conscious my white panties would be on full display. My cheeks burned with embarrassment…and anticipation.
Jase stood, and I watched his upside-down figure approach. Blood roared in my ears, and black spots dotted my vision.
“Nice,” he murmured and grazed my exposed backside. “Stand up.”
I turned to him, prepared for battle, but Honey drew me away. “Come. Let’s try on the rest.”
A black leather number was deemed too mature for me. A red lace corset and matching G-string made the cut. The last outfit, a diminutive bra and thong set, joined the rapidly growing pile of clothing.
Each time I appeared before Jase, I bit my lip and prayed he didn’t notice how my knees trembled and my fingers clenched.
I’d never been the sort to flash skin, preferring one-pieces and sedate underwear to bikinis, but the approval in Jase’s eyes comforted me. There was no denying heat in his gaze. No matter what happened between us, at least he finally saw me as a woman.
Back in the dressing room, I shucked the borrowed lingerie. Honey labeled the chosen pieces, promising to make sure they’d be properly fitted by Friday.
“What are you doing tomorrow night?”
She surprised me by asking a personal question. I snapped on my bra and shrugged. “A party.”
“With Dagger?” she guessed.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Hmm.” She pinched her lips together and turned back to the rack of clothes. “You’ll need something to wear. He’s hosting, which means a lot of people will be looking at you. Can’t have you wearing jeans.”
I glanced down at my clothing and admitted she was right. “He didn’t tell me it was his party.”
Honey pulled out a hanger and smoothed her hand over the yellow silk. “It’s the second annual Dagger ball. Employees attend along with several industry bigwigs. Dagger’s amassed a lot of popularity in a short time.” She turned to me and held up the dress. “What do you think?”
I eyed the beautiful dress with a reverent sigh. A fitted bodice with sparkling gems and a ruffled skirt made the dress young yet sophisticated. Yellow wasn’t typically a color I wore, but it was worth a shot.
I tried it on and admired my reflection in the mirror. “What do you think?”
Honey circled me. After several moments, she clapped her hands together. “It’s just the thing. Oh, sweetie. You’re going to break hearts in that dress.”
I only cared about one heart. “Are shoes too much to hope for?”
Honey pulled out an oversized shipping carton. She tossed boxes aside until she withdrew a rectangular one with red lettering on the side. “Try these.”
I opened the box, delighted by the gold heels I discovered. A tiny bow decorated the backs. They pinched the tiniest bit, but were perf
ect otherwise.
“I feel like Cinderella.” The person in the mirror amazed me.
“You look like her too,” Honey said with a warm smile. “I wish I could be here to do your hair and make-up tomorrow.”
I wished it too. I rushed forward and threw my arms around her. “Thank you!”
She seemed surprised by my display of affection. Honestly, I was too. I wasn’t an affectionate sort, preferring to keep my distance from everyone.
I cradled the garment bag containing the borrowed dress and shoes against my chest as we left the dressing room. Jase saw us and got to his feet. “All set?”
I nodded. “Yes. Thank you again, Honey.”
“My pleasure.” Honey dipped her head toward Jase. “Good luck on Friday. You’ve got a fine girl here.”
“I know.” Jase’s gaze met and held mine.
Shivers raced along my spine, even though it confused me how often he blew hot and cold. Honey departed, leaving me and Jase alone. I adjusted the bag in my arms and cleared my throat. “Thank you for bringing me.”
“It’s no problem.” He tilted his chin. “Need me to carry your bag?”
I clutched it tighter. “No. I’ve got it.”
I preferred the dress to be a surprise. For once, I wanted him to see me as beautiful. Desirable. Yes, I played with fire like he’d claimed, but the burn enticed me. “Should we go?”
He flipped the locks and made sure the building was secure. I smiled the entire time, excited about tomorrow night and the rest of my life.
I should’ve known it was too good to last. Physics taught me for every action, there was an equal and opposite reaction. When one part of my life got on track, the rest blew up in my face.
Late at night, after I’d readied for bed and lay there studying my lines, I picked up my phone and scrolled through my messages on social media. There were finally a few comments from acquaintances at work, wondering where I’d gotten off too, but a post on my wall drew my attention. I clicked on the link and waited for the picture to load. When it had, I gasped and stared in disbelief at the image.
A picture of me, covered in blood and distraught, the same one which had surfaced mere days after my parents’ death was there in glaring Technicolor. Someone had turned the most painful and emotional moment of my life into a meme.
Product of a Broken Home splayed across the picture in hot pink lettering.
Who would be so cruel?
Anger, white hot and potent, poured through me. What sort of sick bastard took joy in another person’s misery?
I deleted the image, not taking the time to read the comments posted beneath. In October, too many people had been quick to jump on the bandwagon. Complete strangers online had ridiculed my loss, critiquing my hair and clothing, and some even intimated I was responsible.
Tossing my phone aside, I buried my face in my hands and shook with the force of my silent sobs. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t relive those dark days when I’d prayed for death myself.
I stumbled to the bathroom and locked the door. Without conscious thought, I opened the medicine cabinet and sought a razor. The plastic crumpled as I bent the protective covering and exposed the tiny, sharpened edge.
I sat on the toilet and spread my thighs. The blade sank into the flesh between my legs. The cut was deeper than normal, but I slid the blade down, forming a jagged incision about three inches long. I watched the blood well and drip to the floor, imagining each drop contained my pain and misery.
It wasn’t enough.
I put the blade to my other thigh and repeated the action. Only when blood smeared my thighs did I toss the razor into the trash. I mopped up my mess with a washcloth and rolled it into a tight ball, shoving it to the bottom of the trash.
I climbed into the shower and turned on an icy blast, letting the freezing water cascade over my head and shoulders. I scrubbed my legs viciously with soap, ignoring the sting and doing my best to wash away the proof of my sickness.
Chapter Thirteen
Posey unexpectedly showed up as I was getting ready for the party the next night. I still wore my pajamas, doing my best to paint my toes and nails, when she entered the room.
“What are you doing here?”
She held up a bottle of champagne and a cosmetics case. “Honey called me. She asked me to come help you.”
I set the nail polish aside and motioned her forward. “She is incredible.”
Posey set down her bag and popped open the champagne. “Glasses?”
“Kitchen,” I suggested, waving my hands over my toes to help the paint dry.
“We’ll just chug it.” Posey toddled over in her impossibly high heels and short, black dress to hand me the bottle. “Drink up and then we’ll get you pretty.”
“You’ll be there, right?” It helped to know I’d have a friend in attendance, someone besides Jase, who would be too busy to deal with me.
“Of course. Mark too. All the actors are invited.”
I noticed the way her voice softened as she said his name. She probably imagined her crush was well-hidden, but I recognized the signs.
Posey was a capable stylist, creating a bounty of curls out of my straight locks. Corkscrews framed my face while a rhinestone clip pinned back my bangs. She went crazy with glitter, giving me smoky eyes and shimmery pink lips.
Simple and understated it wasn’t, but the mirror assured me no one would recognize me as Cara Daniels, the girl whose picture had gone viral on social media. I’d deleted the pic on my wall, but it hadn’t stopped the image from being shared over and over again before I’d been able to stop it.
I slipped into the yellow dress and gold heels. Posey stepped back and surveyed me from head to toe. “Oh my,” she said and covered her mouth with one hand.
“What?” I twisted to glance into the bathroom mirror, wondering if I’d messed up the dress.
“Diamond, you look…”
“Amazing?” Jase asked from the doorway.
I swung around to face him. He lounged with one shoulder propped against the doorframe and watched me.
A fashionable suit covered his muscular frame and an emerald tie perfected the ensemble. The color was token Jase despite the formal clothing. His curls were somewhat tamed in a slicked-back style. So incredibly handsome he took my breath away.
Posey’s gaze swung between the two of us and she chuckled. “You, my dear, will be the belle of the ball. And you,” she strode forward and tapped Jase on the chest. “Will break all the ladies’ hearts. I should go. I’ll see you two soon.”
I opened my mouth to ask her to ride with us, but something in Jase’s gaze made me snap my lips closed.
“The limo is almost here.”
I gaped. “The limo?”
Jase straightened his tie and nodded. “Yes. Image is everything tonight. Do you have what you need?”
I’d tucked money into my bra since I didn’t have a purse. “I’m ready.”
“Good.” He moved his gaze over my dress. “You are stunning.”
“Th…thank you,” I stuttered and looked anywhere but at him, scared if he saw my eyes he would know I was halfway in love with him.
He touched my arm, gently brushing his fingers across my elbow and down to my wrist. “You should mingle as much as possible tonight. Investors will be there, and they’re curious about Diamond.”
“So tonight’s only about business?”
His gaze darkened. “You prefer pleasure?”
Something about the way he said it made goosebumps dance up and down my spine.
Holy shit.
“I…I’m not sure what to do.” Understatement of the year.
He gave me a reassuring smile. “Just be yourself. They’ll love you.”
I doubted it. I was shy and reserved, not a typical porn actress personality by any stretch of the imagination.
“Did you have champagne with Posey?”
I nodded. “Not much. Only a couple sips.”
He
glanced at his watch. “The limo should be here. Let’s head downstairs.”
I’d never ridden in a limo. Not even to junior prom. Of course, I’d gone with a nerdy guy who’d been my lab partner, someone more interested in discussing our final project than trying to impress me.
“Here.” Jase pressed a glass into my nerveless fingers. “You seem nervous. Drink this.”
It was such an anti-Jase thing to do I shot him a questioning look. “You don’t mind?”
He studied me, the dim lighting of the limo putting his features into stark relief. “Tonight’s special. You’re allowed a few drinks, just don’t overdo it. Okay?”
I sipped the champagne, crinkling my nose when the bubbles tickled my nostrils. Jase laughed and drained his own glass.
The party took place at a fancy hotel not far from Jase’s apartment building. An array of party lights draped the front entrance, giving the sophisticated hotel a club atmosphere. We departed the limo and made our way into the ballroom.
Posey saw us as soon as we entered and rushed forward, taking my hand and dragging me away. “Everyone’s dying to meet you!”
I hesitated, looking over my shoulder for Jase. He smiled and motioned me forward. “Go. Mingle.”
With Posey at my side, it was simple to become someone else. Someone lively and talkative. The champagne loosened my tongue, and I soon found myself on the dance floor in Mark’s arms.
The handsome actor rested his hands on my hips and drew me close. “Every man here is jealous of me right now.”
“Not every man,” I muttered.
I searched the crowd for a sign of Jase. He’d disappeared as soon as we’d arrived and I’d only caught brief glimpses of him in conversation with a group of older, distinguished-looking gentlemen.
“All of them,” he corrected. “You have no idea how sexy you look, do you?”
“Me?” I scoffed. “It’s just a dress.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You’re shining tonight. A diamond, just like I said. You could have any man you wanted.”
“Any man?” I tilted my head to the side and studied him, curious to know if his flirtation stemmed from something more than simple chivalry. “You?”
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