We’d hardly had a chance to talk as we squeezed our way out of the ballpark after the walk-off homerun secured the Red Sox win over the Yankees. But now, we were seated side by side on the snug seats of the train car with plenty of time to talk as we made our way back to his place.
“If it makes you feel better to hear it, I will say it. You were definitely right,” I said, wrapping my arm around him and resting my head on his shoulders. “Thank you for taking me.”
“I’m glad you had a good time. We should go to another game before the season ends,” he suggested.
“It’s a date,” I said and I felt him kiss the top of my head. Quiet settled in between us, which allowed my mind to wander.
It’d been six months since the night Tyler was arrested. I’d never felt such power as I had that night, but it’d been scary too. The euphoria of that moment was only momentary. I was quickly brought back to earth when the legal battle began. As expected, Mr. Reeves tried everything to get Tyler off. It didn’t work though, especially when it came to light that he had concocted the entire lie of Tyler being in Canada the night he’d pushed me down the stairs. I hadn’t realized what a powerful man Gregory Reeves was, but he was. It’s amazing what money can do, including forging flight logs and passports. After the lie came to light, Mr. Reeves was put under investigation by the Massachusetts State Bar, but his money and connections helped Tyler escape any jail time. He was given probation and a fine. It wasn’t what I’d hoped for, but if he ever came near me again, I knew there was nothing anyone could do to keep him out of prison. Plus, his admission to Harvard Law had been revoked and I got some satisfaction over that. The protective order was still in place and Tyler hadn’t been a part of my life since his sentence was finalized.
That day in court, when he learned what would happen to him, our eyes had locked for a split second. I thought I saw a hint of remorse in them, but I knew it was just wishful thinking on my part. As he walked out of the courtroom, I never could’ve imagined the night I met him at O’Leary’s for the first time would eventually lead to all of this. Part of me wished I had a rewind button to go back and prevent myself from ever meeting Tyler, but mostly, I wouldn’t change anything because it led me to Gabe and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
Gabe had been by my side through it all and I loved him even more because of it. I still didn’t know what I’d done to deserve him, but I was grateful for him every day.
“What time do we need to be at your parents’ house tomorrow?” I asked him once I’d returned from my reverie.
“Around six. I’ll swing by after my shift, a little after five, and pick you up and then we can head over.”
“What’s your mom making for dinner?” I asked. His mom had invited us over for dinner the next day and my mouth was already watering thinking about it. I’d come to love Carmen’s cooking. She invited us over frequently and I always looked forward to it, including now, even though I’d polished off a Fenway Frank in the ninth inning and was completely full.
“Tamales and the best Mexican rice you’ll eat,” he said with a smile. “Plus, Abuela is making her famous flan.”
“I’ve never had that.”
“You should feel honored. She doesn’t make it much anymore, but she wanted to for you.”
“I hope she didn’t go to any trouble on my account,” I said and he looked at me with those dark eyes of his.
“My grandmother adores you, Sam. She wanted to make it for you,” he said and I couldn’t help but smile. I’d grown to love Gabe’s family. They always made me feel welcome and part of the family. Carmen always greeted me with a big hug and his grandparents loved to hound us about getting married and what beautiful babies we’d make. It made me blush every time, but it also got me thinking and I found myself wondering about that stuff too. I wasn’t anywhere near ready for marriage, but I could see myself as Gabe’s wife and he as my husband someday. I could see him as an amazing father and I wondered if someday it might actually come true.
I’d grown close with his sisters too. Marissa and Daniella looked up to me as an older sister almost and I was glad they liked me. His sisters meant everything to him so I was happy we had a good relationship.
I’d grown especially fond of Gabe’s father. He was a quiet man, but a good man. He loved his family and I saw so much of him in Gabe.
Over time, they’d become the family I never had, and they included Rachel and I in all of their family events. We’d never had such nice holidays as we had with Gabe’s family. It was how I always imagined it could be and hoped someday to have my own family where happy memories were abundant.
“I love your family, Gabe. They’re really incredible,” I told him.
“They are,” he agreed. I think he’d learned to appreciate them even more after spending time with me and seeing what I didn’t have growing up. I started thinking back to my own mom. We hadn’t spoken much since the blowup at Tim’s funeral. I hadn’t lost hope that someday she’d come around. My therapist had helped me to focus on the positive and that’s what I did with my mother.
I’d started sessions shortly after everything happened with Tyler. It’d been scary to talk to a total stranger about my darkest secrets, but I was grateful Gabe had encouraged me to do so. I’d forgiven my mom and I hoped someday we’d have a relationship. I was also still working on accepting that what Tim and Tyler had done to me had not been my fault. I still had a ways to go, but I was much further along in my self-healing than I ever would be if I tried doing it on my own. I’d been terrified to start therapy, but now, I couldn’t imagine my life without it.
The train squealed to a stop and we stood up. He took my hand and led me onto the platform. Gabe didn’t live far and soon the old red brick building came into view.
“Is Trey home?” I asked and he grinned coyly at me.
“Nope. We have the whole place to ourselves,” he said and I felt myself blush as my mind began to think of all the fun we could have in an empty apartment. I saw it in his eyes too and I felt our pace quicken.
I followed Gabe upstairs. It was quiet when we walked in, but it was a beautiful sound. It wasn’t always easy to find time alone, not with me living with Rachel and Gabe sharing his apartment with Trey. They often worked opposite shifts, but that didn’t always happen.
“I love the sound of silence,” he said, closing the door and setting his wallet and keys on the counter and turning towards me.
“Me too,” I said and then without another word, our eyes locked and he walked over to me, sliding his arms around my waist and pulling me close. Before I could say anything, his mouth was on mine, kissing me so deeply, a low moan escaped my throat, which only seemed to excite him even more.
“You have no idea what you do to me, Samantha Everly,” he said softly when he pulled back so our lips were nearly touching as my heart pounded in my chest. “Every day I love you more than the day before.”
He was breathing hard, but then he looked into my eyes and I knew I would never get tired of the love that seemed to radiate from them whenever he looked at me.
“I love you too, Gabe,” I replied softly. “So much.”
Our eyes remained locked, causing my heart to beat even faster. I was aching for him, aching for him to make love to me. He knew I was and so he scooped me up in his strong arms and walked me to his bedroom, pushing the door open with his foot and then closing it behind us before laying me gently down.
He stood at the foot of the bed, slipping off his shoes and then taking his t-shirt by the collar and pulling it over his head until he stood before me in nothing but his jeans and strong muscles. I would never grow tired of looking at him like this.
Slowly, he crawled onto the bed, making his way to me until his body covered mine. Our eyes met and he smiled at me, gliding his hand over my hair before pressing his mouth to mine, kissing me deeply as his fingers began undoing the buttons of my shirt. My body was trembling just at the thought of what was coming. B
efore Gabe, intimacy hadn’t been easy for me. I didn’t realize how difficult it was until I realized what it could be with Gabe. Before him, it was void of feeling. It was simply a tactic men used to take from me. I felt nothing. With Gabe though, it was nothing like that. It was beautiful. He made me feel so loved and cherished every time and I couldn’t wait to feel that again…to be as close to him as I possibly could.
I felt him pull away slightly, as he worked his way down my blouse, but it was just enough for me to catch his eyes.
“Where did you come from, Gabriel Torres?” I asked him and he smiled, leaning down and kissing me once more before looking at me again.
“From your dreams,” he answered and we both laughed as I wrapped my arms around this man who I’d fallen absolutely, completely and totally in love with. If he was a dream, I never wanted to wake up.
Thirty
I could almost taste the tamales as I sat on the couch waiting for Gabe to pick me up. I’d thought about dinner all day during my shift at O’Leary’s and had only eaten a light lunch to conserve space for the feast I knew awaited me at the Torres house.
Gabe was running late. That wasn’t a surprise though. He often got held up while on patrol. When he told me a time he’d pick me up, I usually gave him a half an hour buffer before I started to get annoyed. It was only five-thirty. I’d expected him around quarter after, so he should be here any minute.
“Dinner with Gabe’s family tonight?” Rachel asked as she walked into the kitchen with her scrubs on. She had to leave for her shift in a few minutes and she reached into the fridge and pulled out a yogurt before sitting down beside me on the couch.
“Yes. How can you tell?”
“You always get this silly little grin on your face, like you’re a kid in a candy store or something.”
“I do not!” I laughed.
“Yeah. You totally do. It’s pretty pathetic actually.”
“Well, you’ve tasted her cooking! It’s incredible!”
“That, I can’t deny. My teasing may be partially due to jealously on my part. At the fact you’re about to consume a Mexican feast and I’m stuck with my Dannon Light & Fit for dinner,” she said as she spooned some into her mouth and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“You know if you weren’t working, you could totally come.”
“I know. Put in a request that the next time you get a dinner invite, to take my schedule into account, okay?” she teased and I nodded.
“Of course. Carmen will be all too happy to oblige,” I laughed just as the buzzer went off.
“Finally, he’s here,” I said, jumping up from the couch. “Come on up,” I said, releasing the button as I started gathering my things.
“Have fun and bring me home some leftovers if you can,” she said with a wink.
“You got it,” I told her.
There was a knock on the door a second later and I swung it open. I opened my mouth to greet Gabe with a playful comment about being late, but stopped when I saw his father standing there instead.
“Sergio,” I said, the confusion obvious in my voice. “What’re you doing here?”
He stood there for a moment, not saying anything, but then his eyes met mine and I saw his were red and puffy. He’d been crying. My heart began to pound and my stomach began to knot.
“It’s Gabriel,” he said softly before my world came crashing down.
Thirty-One
I don’t know how I’d made it to this point, but I had. I’d been on autopilot for the last few days. It was a state of shock and denial, but there could be no denying it now, not after what I’d just experienced.
I’d never seen anything like the funeral for a fallen police officer who lost his life in the line of duty. It felt like the whole city shut down as the precession made its way to the cemetery. The news stations were there too. They had been ever since Gabe died. I’d seen it on TV, the story of the young cop who lost his life while responding to a call for a domestic disturbance. Gabe looked so handsome in the picture they showed of him as they told the story of what had happened. Gabe and his partner had responded to a call of a man beating his wife. The neighbor had called it in and when Gabe and his partner showed up, the man opened fire without any warning. His partner had only been shot in the leg, but Gabe…he hadn’t been so lucky and died in surgery as they tried to save him. I couldn’t help but compare myself to the woman whose husband shot Gabe. I could’ve been her and I found it hauntingly strange that Gabe had worked so hard to save me from a similar situation only to die at the hands of domestic violence.
It was hard to watch the story, to know it was my Gabe they were talking about. His life was over and as I looked at his casket only a few feet away, I felt as if mine was too.
The funeral was filled to capacity and so many dignitaries spoke. The mayor of Boston, one of the state representatives, along with fellow police officers who spoke of Gabe’s service. I listened to their words, soaking them in and gaining comfort in knowing that he had been special to so many people. The hardest part was listening to Sergio speak about his son though. He stood in front of the microphone in full dress uniform as he told stories of Gabe and how much he loved being a police officer and how proud his family was of him. He never wavered in his words, but tears were streaming down my face by the end of the speech.
I’d watched the 21 Bell Salute as fellow officers stood in front of Gabe’s flag draped casket, saluting solemnly each time a bell went off. Amazing Grace followed on bagpipes after that, and I’d never heard such sorrow in a song before. Rachel squeezed my hand as we listened, both of us doing our best to hold it together until the Final Radio Call was given for Gabe. I could hardly stand the pain coursing through my veins as I listened and when I turned to Carmen, I knew she was struggling. Sergio had his arm around her, but she was barely holding on.
I was grateful for the fresh air when the funeral was over and we stepped outside. I could hardly breathe in the church. It was too much to handle, but it hadn’t gotten any easier, not at the cemetery when the bagpipes started to play and the three-volley salute jolted through me with each shot that rang into the air.
The crowd had mostly left by this point, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I stood like a statue, staring at the casket, no longer flag-draped. That had been given to Carmen, who’d walked away after the closing prayer. Rachel had stayed by my side for a few minutes, but then she stepped away, realizing I needed to be alone. I needed to be alone in this moment. Alone with him for the last time.
I finally moved, walking slowly to the casket and placing my hand on it, lowering my head as a silent tear splashed onto it. He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t. Not after everything he’d done for me.
It had only been a few days, but I still expected him to call or show up at my apartment. I still expected him to be there, but as I opened my eyes and was greeted with the glistening silver of the coffin, I was cruelly reminded that he wasn’t coming back.
I’d never felt so empty inside, as if a part of myself had died along with Gabe. I was angry and I was hurt. How could he have come into my life only to have been ripped away before our life together could even start? Why had he left me? There was no way I could make it without him…not after everything he’d done for me…not after what he’d become to me. I closed my eyes, trying to remember what he felt like. Trying to remember the feel of his hand in mine and the taste of his kiss. I tried to hear his voice once more, telling me he loved me. I tried to bring him back to me, but when I opened my eyes again, my world was still empty and Gabe was still gone.
I heard footsteps approaching and I turned my head to see Trey walking towards me. He was in full dress uniform and another police officer was with him, but the other officer was limping and using a cane. I recognized him from the news. It was Gabe’s partner.
My eyes locked with Trey’s and he seemed to slow down as he approached. Finally, though, he was beside me. He and I hadn’t had a chance to talk since Gabe
was shot. I’d hardly spoken to anyone.
He didn’t say anything as he leaned down, enveloping me in his large frame.
“I’m so sorry,” Trey whispered and I heard his voice crack. My heart started breaking even more knowing how much he was hurting too. Trey had lost his best friend.
“I’m sorry too,” I whispered back and the tears started to come again as I thought about Gabe, knowing I’d never see him again. Knowing he was gone and he was never coming back.
Trey held me for a long while, but then he eased away and I wiped my eyes as my gaze moved to the man standing next to Trey.
“Sam,” Trey began, “this is Brent Jennings. He was Gabe’s partner.”
My eyes met Brent’s and I could see the pain in his. I could feel my lip trembling as I looked at him. He’d been with Gabe when it happened, but Gabe had died and he had not.
“Hi,” I said softly to Brent.
“I’m sorry about Gabe,” he began timidly and I nodded, not knowing what else to say. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save him.”
A tear streaked down Brent’s cheek and he batted at it quickly. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until I was. My hand was resting on his arm and I met his eyes.
“It’s not your fault,” I choked out.
“I know that, but I’m still sorry,” he said and it was quiet for a few moments. “I…I was with Gabe after it happened…while he was still conscious…while I tried to help him as we waited for help.”
I felt my throat starting to burn now as I looked into the anguished eyes of this man, knowing he’d been with Gabe during his final moments.
“I’ve been wanting to find you…to talk to you, but…but I didn’t want to upset you,” he said and his voice faded as my heart started to beat faster. “He was thinking of you.” I blinked and I felt the tears stream down my face as I waited for him to continue. “He couldn’t say much…but he said…he said your name. He said he was sorry. He said he loved you.”
Because of You Page 25