by Nora Sarel
“Good luck,” Ido said. Only Adi lacked words.
Anna-Maria and Bernardo didn’t understand what was going on. When they got in Gadi explained to them why he preferred being with them on his own, even though Liam could have helped with the Portuguese.
“Should we wait for Francisco and Antonio or do you want us to speak without them?” Bernardo asked, yet, Gadi didn’t reply and was too preoccupied with his own questions, “have you told them?”
“Yes, I explained it to Francisco and Anna-Maria. I didn’t tell Antonio yet, he’s too young and this won’t be easy for him.”
“What did they say?” Gadi kept on while looking at Anna-Maria.
“Ask her,” Bernardo replied.
“Did your mom ever tell you about me?” he asked her.
“No, she never told me about you. But about three years ago I saw a picture in her purse. She was in the picture with some strangers, a baby and my grandma. She was about my age, very young. I asked her who was the baby, because the picture was taken next to my grandma’s house in Curitiba. I know that Bernardo was born in Recife, so obviously is wasn’t him, and she looked too young in the photo to be a mom. She said this was her baby Bernardo, and she kissed the picture. I thought she was lying, but now I realize she wasn’t.”
“Are you talking about this picture?” Gadi asked and pulled the same photo from his wallet.
“Yes, that’s the one,” Anna-Maria was excited. Bernardo took the picture and looked at it.
“What’s your name in Hebrew?” she asked.
“Gadi,” he replied.
“Do you know if we have the same father?”
“I know that my dad was Nessia’s employer, Francisco. He can’t be your dad because he died suddenly at a young age.”
“That’s why she gave you away?”
“I thought she gave me away because she couldn’t raise me on her own and didn’t have any other choice.”
“Don’t feel sorry,” Anna-Maria tried comforting him, “she hardly raised us, too. She’s a mother who doesn’t really have time to raise her children. She needs to work.”
“And your father, what about him?”
“I don’t even know my father, I’m not even sure the two of us share one. She divorced Antonio’s father about a year ago, we knew him. But we don’t know if Francisco’s dad is also mine and Bernardo’s. We were too young to remember the men who had been here. We don’t have many pictures, but in those we do have there’s a different man each time; perhaps it’s the same man who changed over time. Don’t be sad you didn’t grow up here, I’m sure you had a better life than us,” Anna-Maria said and started crying.
He felt his stomach churn. He hugged Anna-Maria and asked her not to cry. “I can’t,” he mumbled in Hebrew and thought to himself it was a good thing his friends didn’t join him, there are some things he would rather keep for himself. It’s unpleasant to find out that your mother had a child with every man she had ever met, maybe she was a prostitute?
Their conversation was held in whispers, even Anna-Maria’s tears were soft. Anna-Maria was the only one who spoke with Gadi, Bernardo sat and listened.
“I’ll make you some cafezinho,” Anna-Maria said. She walked to the kitchen and came back with hot mugs of cafezinho and a plate full of small buns.
“That’s pao de queijo, right?” Gadi asked, and remembered Tamara who told him about the cheese bread. I wonder if she sometimes thinks about me too, he asked himself.
“Maybe we should let your friends in?” Bernardo asked, “it’s been over an hour, they should at least eat or drink something.”
“No need, I’m going. I wanted to know when can we meet again?”
“The carnival starts this weekend,” Bernardo said.
“Maybe you should celebrate with us?” Anna-Maria suggested, “you should come back on Saturday, and we’ll go dancing together through the streets of Recife and Olinda, okay?”
“Okay,” Gadi said and kissed her cheeks. He hugged Bernardo and shoved 200 real he had prepared beforehand into his pocket. “Muito obrigado – thank you very much,” Bernardo whispered into his ear. Gadi went outside to meet his friends, who each sat on a different step. “Would you like to meet them at the carnival?” he asked when he opened the door and Recife’s lights gleaned at him. “Of course,” all four had answered. “Ete Sabado – see you on Saturday!”
CHAPTER 19
The carnival starts one week earlier in Recife.
They decided to meet by the small grocery shop, decorated with blue dirty tiles, and in front of which always sat a stumpy drunk man. “Even today he’s sad,” Liam pointed at him and tried unsuccessfully to amuse him by making strange hand gestures.
They gathered to join the festivities and the people who filled the city, as if they were brought in as extras. It seemed they were all streaming to the city center, leaving the everyday streets behind them. They walked on the same path as everybody else. Even with eyes shut, one could follow the crowd, as if walking behind an imaginary piper. The music grew louder with each step. A group of dancers pranced in front of and behind them. All moving as one living body familiar with their ritual, pausing in front of churches on their way, perhaps trying to engage God with their celebration.
As they approached the “Our Lady of the Rosary of the Black Men” church, the dancers turned up the music and danced longer. During this break, Liam thought, considering himself the leader, it was a good opportunity to count the members of his group, Bernardo, Francisco, Anna-Maria, Adi, Gadi, Omri and Ido. “We’re eight including me,” he said loudly in Hebrew. In fact, so loud, it seemed their foreignness stood out. “It’s a bit hard to stay together with all these people around us, and without any of us getting lost, maybe we should split into two groups?”
“No, absolutely not,” Ido said sternly.
Liam didn’t argue. “So, if anyone finds himself alone, he should wait for us here, by this church. That’s how we’ll always know where to find him,” he explained and then translated what he had said to the three siblings. The combination of the words ‘lost’ and ‘person’ made Gadi shudder. He immediately looked at his new siblings. All three nodded in consent.
Gadi had his own count. “I’m missing Antonio,” he said to Anna-Maria.
“We were afraid to bring him with us, he’s our Benjamin. We left him with one of our neighbors. But next time we go out we’ll take him with us. Don’t worry, we still have plenty of carnival days,” she answered patiently. Gadi looked at her confused. Why Benjamin? I’m the lost Josef and Antonio is the Benjamin? Could it be that she knew the story of Josef and his brothers?
“Benjamin? Why would you call him Benjamin?” he inquired.
“It’s just a word people sometimes use in Spanish when they talk about the youngest child in their family. In Portuguese we say, “Caçula,”she replied. However, her quiet tone worried Gadi.
“Do you know Benjamin’s story from the Bibilia Antigua?” he kept asking.
“No, please tell me,” she asked.
“Later,” Gadi dismissed her with a sense of relief. He then changed the subject and spoke to Bernardo, “could you explain to us what is special about the Recife carnival?”
Bernardo was excited by his new role, cleared his throat, looked at Liam and said with a very authoritative tone, “The Recife and Olinda carnival is split into two, one called Maracatu, which is more traditional and African, and the regular carnival. The Maracatu is a carnival more common in Recife and northeastern Brazil, because there are more Africans in this part of the country. All the religious ceremonies in fact belong to the Candomblé, the African religion. The Maracatu, is actually also a kind of Candomblé ceremony.” He brought their attention to the order in which things will take place, “every group of dancers is led by an image of an animal, each symbolizing a different tribe. Right behind each
animal are the king and queen of the group, dancing under a large umbrella. Only in the third row are the samba dancers wearing colorful costumes. After all the groups complete their performance, the dame of the parade will appear with a small doll in her hand. Behind her there will be a singer and a percussion band.”
“What will she have in her hand?” Ido asked.
“A doll,” Liam repeated what Bernardo had said.
“This whole parade is actually symbolic,” Gadi showed his knowledge and turned to Bernardo, “so, we won’t see samba school dances here?”
“There’s no ‘show,’” Bernardo said, “there’s no audience looking at the participants, everyone dances and sings. You’ll see. It’s not like in Rio, everything is down to earth and belongs to everyone.”
“I told you,” Gadi said and his eyes flickered between the people dancing around him. He was hypnotized. The group that approached them was different than the others; all its participants wore brown feathers, necklaces and bracelets made of beads and animal teeth, they carried bows and arrows. Although he tried, Gadi didn’t feel as if he was part of the festivities. The music did get to him, but he couldn’t loosen up, listen to it with all the fiber of his being, and move with it like all the other participants. Bernardo, who realized Gadi’s turmoil, hugged him and explained to him loudly, “this is the Indian group. They’re real Indians, it’s not a show,” and then he began dancing like them. With Adi’s help, Gadi tried joining them, “I think they’re the best dancers,” she said and matched her movements to Gadi’s.
“You haven’t seen everyone yet and you’ve already decided they’re the best?” Ido commented, “Look at that group, they’re all wearing white and have fruit wreaths on their heads, its beautiful.”
“These are the Bahians,” Anna-Maria explained.
The tighter the crowd became the closer did Adi press onto Gadi. She held his hand and although he wanted to yield, he couldn’t feel her.
“Soon we’ll go to the Ibinda boa viajem– Recife’s central quarter. You’ll see special vehicles and trucks that are part of the parade. These trucks are called Trio Altricos and they carry loudspeakers and dancing girls. That’s a different kind of carnival,” Bernardo completed his explanation. On their way to the city center, they could hardly talk to one another. The speakers on the trucks blasted loud samba music. They were swallowed by the crowds, danced and sang with everyone until no one could tell who were local and who were foreigner. Only Gadi couldn’t fully devote himself to it.
“I can’t ignore this music, it seeps through my body and resonates with me as if I have a drum in my belly,” Ido tried describing his sensations, actually everyone’s sensations. However, no one could hear what he had said.
Ido, who realized how tiny he was among the different dancers, kept waving his hands, and shaking his body, so that he might, somehow, stand out.
“We can’t talk here,” Gadi complained to Adi, but she raised her hands up high, while pulling Gadi’s hands, making them move with the beat.
The human stream kept flowing to the stage, where it stopped with excitement. On the stage was the queen of the carnival, the singer Daniela Mercury. She sang one song after another. The huge crowd danced in a frenzy, roared the popular lyrics and was uncontrollably overjoyed.
“She’s from Bahia,” Bernardo tried explaining this madness to others. “She came to perform in Recife, she’s not from here. Do you understand what I said?”
“Claro – of course,” Gadi answered, his eyes fixed on the colorful stage.
All eight huddled up, trying to maintain their ‘togetherness.’ They merged with Daniela Mercury’s adoring crowd and, as them, fell in love with the slender fragile young woman who continuously sang.
Gadi forced himself to give in to the music but couldn’t go through with his decision. His movements were stiff and prevented him from swaying with the samba. He tried holding on to some familiar sensation. “On the one hand, this reminds me of our Independence Day celebrations in the streets, on the other, it feels so forced to dance and go wild at a party which isn’t my own.” He tried justifying his restraint to Adi. She wanted to allow him and herself unlimited joy, she turned her soft gaze to him and replied, “Gadi, loosen up, stop thinking, flow with the music, connect with the happiness. Force it, and then it’ll come on its own…”
Gadi looked around him. Thousands of people surrounded him, all singing, dancing, laughing, jumping, yelling and going wild. Some were intoxicated with joy, and others with shady substances. They were swept away with ecstasy.
What a bunch of lunatics, he thought to himself. It started to rain, the drops blending with sweat. However, no one had stopped or interrupted the huge wave of people from moving. A real down-to-earth celebration, shared by all, rich and poor, elderly who could barely walk – but could dance – and young, black and white; all dancing together until sunrise, feeding this hallucination. Each in his own way, and all together, on the same street, under the same rain. He looked at his friends on his one side, and his three siblings on his other. Unlike him, they all danced and smiled at the world. He wanted to take part, too. He wanted to prance and jump. When he thought no one was looking, he tried skipping, yet, Anna-Maria saw him and was delighted. She gave him a thumbs-up and smiled at him. She then grabbed his right hand, while Adi was holding his left, and together they all danced a sweeping Hora dance. Anna-Maria easily joined their dance, even though she didn’t even know what Hora was. They burst out laughing when they realized their bizarre choreography.
A large blast of energy came out of Daniela Mercury’s electrifying singing, and washed Recife along with the rain. “The Brazilians are crazy about her,” Anna-Maria shouted at him, “look at Bernardo and Francisco.” She saw he was embarrassed and wanted to say to him that he, too, just like his brothers, can join; that, like them, who are always shy and quiet, he can dance and loosen up.
Daniela Mercury’s avid fans wore a shirt with the writing ‘the Popcorn Queen.’ Gadi asked Bernardo about the writing. “In slang, it means that people are jumping up and down in a crowd…” just like popcorn in a pot with boiling oil, Gadi thought to himself. “She’s the queen of the masses,” Anna-Maria, who kept watching out for Gadi, added. Gadi smiled at her and looked for anything familiar about her, she did the same. Every now and then, groups of dark young boys, ran through the masses, as if undermining the carnival. However, everyone’s spontaneous joy remained uninterrupted.
“The hungrier they are, the happier,” Ido said.
“Don’t you get it? this carnival is like Opium for the masses,” Liam replied, “the poorer they are, the higher they jump and dance.”
It seemed the air was saturated with alcohol fumes, someone waiting to light a match.
Then, a flame was lit, “I was mugged,” Omri yelled. Ido and Liam surrounded him and asked how much money he had in his pockets. “Not much,” Omri replied and apologized, “I just took some money to be on the safe side. I felt his hand in my pocket and saw him, a young boy.” Gadi was horrified. He was petrified by thoughts of himself in different situations, in a different life. Bernardo and Anna-Maria had enough wits to realize they had to calm things down. They immediately pulled the group out of the samba, Daniela and the dream they were in. They gestured them to follow and led them to a nearby street corner. They sat on the edge of the sidewalk and explained what had happened. They felt the need to apologize for the boy who had pickpocketed Omri and praise the local police. In a heartbeat the atmosphere had changed from frantic to serious and rational. “Although we expect a lot of issues during this situation, when hundreds of thousands go wild in the streets, everything is observed by the police, there’s nothing to be scared about. It’s true that people still get mugged. I strongly recommend that you don’t walk around with an expensive camera or money,” Bernardo said.
“I didn’t have a lot of money, just a few bills, never
mind,” Omri smiled with embarrassment and had the urge to embrace their new friends, his best friend’s siblings, who thought it was their duty to apologize for something they had no responsibility for.
“Maybe we should go back to the stage,” Adi suggested, she was eager to merge again with the carnival’s crowd and lose her grip on reality.
“Wait, I’m going to get some beer,” Gadi said and pulled away from her. He approached a boy who sold cool beers from a tin tub full of ice. He filled his arms with the cool cans and they drank them thirstily. The beer pouring down their throats helped them handle the heat and enjoy the carnival even more.
The Trio Eltricos kept moving down the road and blasting frevo and samba music loudly, making sure no one was left behind. They - Gadi, Adi, Bernardo, Anna-Maria, Francisco, Omri, Ido and Liam - kept sitting idly on the sidewalk, trying to regain their strength. Then Bernardo thought it right to decide, “We should go to sleep.”
“Why, we’ve only just begun,” Adi begged, she turned to Anna-Maria, hoping she would heed to her. However, she only replied with a huge smile.
Gadi, who stood beside them, couldn’t stop looking at Anna-Maria. Now he was sure he had found something familiar about her. Her smile.
“The carnival just started. We need a lot of strength to participate tomorrow and the day after.” Bernardo was determined to end their celebration.
“I think he’s right,” Gadi tipped the scales.
CHAPTER 20
“Who is it?” Liam shouted. The were all awaken by the loud knocking sounds on their bedroom door.
“Who could it be at such an hour?” Gadi asked. His disheveled hair peeked from between the sheets covering him. His eyes were still shut and under no circumstance could he open them.
“What time is it?” Omri wondered when he heard their shouts. He looked through the window to see whether it was nighttime, however, was struck by daylight shining through the green blinds.