Befriending a 15-Year+ Cast Member:
First of all, just finding someone who has worked at WDW for fifteen years is nothing short of a miracle. The pay is shit, the working conditions are restrictive, and frankly they don’t treat their staff very well. But some people just love Disney, and are willing to overlook all of the crap to maintain their dream of working for The Mouse.
Anyway, if you’re lucky enough to find a “lifer”, you should immediately become good friends with that person. Because they are in possession of the coveted “Silver” Main Entrance Pass, which allows them to bring three people a day into the parks for free (some blackout dates do apply)!
An authentic Silver Main Entrance Pass
To be fair, full-time CMs who have worked there for more than 3 months but less than 15 years get “Blue” Main Gate passes, which allow entry for three people 16 times during the year. But my experience is that these CMs are really stingy with their 16 entries, usually because they think that despite their poor financial status and crappy, irregular working hours, they’ll still somehow find a non-staff boyfriend/girlfriend to take to the parks. Think again, losers!
And that’s why I don’t have any friends who are CMs.
Reseller Scams:
Okay, so you’ve decided you don’t want to jump the gates and go to Disney Jail, and you don’t want to waste a day doing a timeshare presentation and possibly getting stranded in a swamp. You also either live nowhere near the parks or you’re a big loser and/or an insensitive and cruel person like me, and thus you have no CM friends to get you into the parks for free. So you’ve given up, and are ready to hand over your wallet to Disney so it can make sweet love to your cash and leave some tickets on the nightstand when it’s done. Not so fast! Why are you giving up so easily? Why are you so eager to prostitute out your hard-earned cash?!
It turns out that there actually are reputable ticket resellers who will sell you WDW tickets for moderately cheaper than the standard gate prices! My authorized reseller recommendation is Undercover Tourist (http://www.undercovertourist.com). I’ve used them multiple times and have always received friendly service and the correct tickets, which show up in an unmarked envelope and come wrapped in plastic. These are actual WDW tickets, not the vouchers you’d get at a timeshare presentation, and they work perfectly.
As of this writing, the standard Undercover Tourist discount on a 6-day Adult Park Hopper is $16, which isn’t bad, especially if you have a large family. However, you can get an even bigger discount ($22) from them if you sign up for the MouseSavers newsletter at http://www.mousesavers.com/newsletter.html . This monthly newsletter is a great compendium of current discounts/closures/news for both WDW and Disneyland, but more importantly, it contains a secret “newsletter only” link to Undercover Tourist that will give you bigger discounts!
As an aside, another cool thing about Undercover Tourist is that they offer the UK/Ireland-only 14 or 21 day “Ultimate Ticket”. If you’re going to be at WDW for two or three weeks (you lucky bastard!) this might be the way to go. The 14-day Ultimate Ticket gives you two weeks of park hopping, plus Water Park, DisneyQuest, and Wide World of Sports access. Right now after converting pounds to dollars the adult 14-day Ultimate is going for $373, which is actually $2 cheaper than the 10-day Park Hopper + Water Park ticket! So you’re getting 7 more days for $2 less. What a bargain!
However, you might be thinking that these are pretty tepid discounts, and I can’t argue that they only amount to a pair of mouse ears for each member of your family, or a few harf-and-harfs at the Rose and Crown. If you’re like me, you’re still looking for even bigger discounts, and have drooled at the signs all around the Kissimmee/Orlando advertising ultra-cheap tickets. These resellers pawn their wares in booths, gas stations, and even in reputable hotels. And lo and behold, if you go into one of these places they actually are selling tickets for dirt cheap. We’re talking up to 50% off the gate price! Now, that’s a discount!
One of the many ticket reseller booths in Orlando
But as the old saying goes, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. After doing extensive research on these resellers, I’ve found that literally 100% of them are illegal scams, and if you buy tickets from them you will likely not be able to use those tickets to gain entry to the parks.
Here’s how the scam works: a departing vacationer is offered a decent amount of cash ($20-$50) to sell any ticket with unused days on it to one of these illegal reseller operations. Maybe the tourist accidentally bought too many days and can’t use them all, or maybe their vacation got cut short; the reasoning behind the confused mind of a tourist is unimportant to the scammers. So now the reseller has a ticket with (for example) two days left on it, and those two days expire in 10 days (Magic Your Way passes are good for 14 days after first being run through a turnstile). The scam reseller can turn around and sell this as a two-day ticket to unsuspecting tourists looking for a big discount over gate prices. Furthermore, they actively encourage people to add days to the used Magic Your Way ticket (which can be done at greatly reduced rates, as low as $5/day) so that they can come back to the booth at the end of their vacation and sell back any unused days for an even bigger overall discount. Brilliant!
There are four big problems with this, from the perspective of someone looking to purchase a used ticket:
1. It’s illegal. It specifically says on the tickets that they can’t be resold. In fact, it’s a felony. However, it’s not necessarily illegal to buy used tickets, just to resell them, so from the tourist’s point of view, it’s a legal gray area.
2. There’s a signature on the back of the ticket. No biggie, the resellers usually get these off prior to selling them by applying a special acid to the signature strip, although observant CMs can spot this a mile away.
3. All of the parks in WDW use biometric finger scanning. This measures the length of your fingers from knuckle to knuckle. If your finger isn’t the same size as the one already recorded on the ticket, chances are you’re not getting through the gate.
4. This is the real kicker: There’s no way of verifying how many days are on the ticket until you’re actually on Disney property. So you might get there and find that there aren’t any days left on the ticket, and you got totally scammed.
It used to be that if you bought a phony or used ticket that didn’t work you could go to Guest Services and they’d be really understanding and nice about it and give you a new one, but now they’re wise to the whole underground reseller racket and are completely unsympathetic to the plight of scammed tourists. How do I know this? Because I took one for the team and bought such a ticket. The buying part was easy: I went into a gas station, made sure there weren’t any cops around, and paid cash for a Two-Day MYW base ticket. Using the ticket at the parks was where the whole thing fell apart. Here’s how it went down:
The crowds are light as I approach the turnstile at The Magic Kingdom, put my used ticket through the slot, and place my finger on the scanner. It doesn’t work. The CM tells me to do it again, with the other hand. Still doesn’t work.
Me: “Huh, that’s weird.”
CM: “Are you sure this is your ticket?”
Me: “Uhhh…..”
CM: “Sir, you’ll need to go to Guest Services to get this resolved. Have a magical day!”
Me: “Okay. Thanks”
So I go to Guest Services and hand over my ticket.
Me: “It doesn’t work when I put my finger on the thingy.”
CM: “Did you use the same finger you used the first time you went through the gate with this ticket?”
Me: “Not exactly.”
CM: “Sir, where did you purchase this ticket?”
Me: “From a gas station.”
CM: “We’re sorry, but we’re not able to accept tickets purchased from unauthorized resellers. Unfortunately you’ll need to buy a new ticket. I can help you with that now, if you’d like.”
Me: “So I just lost a bunch of money, rig
ht? And there’s nothing you can do about it?”
CM: “That is our policy, sir.”
Me: “Bummer. Can I get my ticket back, so I can at least sell it back to the gas station?”
CM: “Unfortunately since it was resold illegally I will need to confiscate it. However, here is a collectible “What Will You Celebrate” pin. Have a magical day!”
The CM gives me a little pin and I smile weakly and walk away. I lost money so you don’t have to!
However, I’ve been in line during busy times of the day, and a lot of times if the finger scanner doesn’t work the CM will punch in some code at the turnstile and just let the guest through. I gather the scanners aren’t wholly reliable, and most CMs don’t care enough about resold tickets to hold up the line and incur the wrath of impatient guests. But this is the exception rather than the rule.
If you’re a real sleazeball, there is one surefire way to get around the biometric scanner: act like you’re disabled. Borrow a wheelchair and have a friend push you to the gate and say that you can’t lift your arms up to the scanner. The CM will run the used ticket for you and let you through the handicapped gate, no questions asked. But that’s some super-bad karma to pull down just for discounted theme park tickets!
Another way to save money on tickets, if you don’t mind possibly going to jail at the end of your vacation (real jail, not Disney Jail – big difference), is by taking advantage of the other side of the resale scam: sell your unused days. The easiest (and cheapest) way to do this is to buy more days than you know you’ll use from Undercover Tourist. That way you’re not only getting a discount for the days you will use, but your unused days are also discounted, which means you have a larger profit margin when you go to sell those unused days. And the more days you buy, the cheaper they are, to the point where after the 4th day each additional day averages out to about $5.
So say you intend to stay 7 days at WDW (a regular 7-day MYW costs $263 at the gate). You’d buy a 10-day MYW base ticket from Undercover Tourist for $266, only $3 more than Disney’s gate price for a 7-day. At the end of your vacation you drive over to one of the reseller places on your way home and sell your remaining 3 days for $50. Now your 7-day MYW ticket has ended up costing you only $216, which is a $47 discount from the gate prices! There are also ways you can work out even bigger discounts by purchasing and reselling the various water park, park hopper, and non-expiration options, although the combinations of Undercover Tourist prices vs. reseller buyback prices are so numerous that finding the sweet spot of maximum profit might take a fair amount of calculator action.
As an addendum, I did talk to a detective completely off the record about these reseller scams. The detective told me that yes, the Orange County Sheriff’s Office is aggressively going after the employees who operate the reseller booths and kiosks because it is believed that most of these operations link back to a bigger crime ring, which they’re anxious to bust up. However, at this point (as in, this might change at any time) the detective says they are absolutely not arresting tourists caught buying or selling tickets to the resellers, because the majority of the tourists have no idea that they’re a part of any legal wrongdoings. In other words, if you get caught, this is one of those rare cases where playing dumb might actually keep you out of jail.
FREE PARKING
If you’ve decided to stay offsite and rent a car (dumb!) or are a local driving in for a day trip, you’ll likely be shocked at the cost of parking. $14 to park isn’t necessarily outrageous by Manhattan standards, but when you consider you’re paying $14 for the privilege of spending hundreds more for tickets, food, and merchandise, you realize that it’s just another cash grab. They know you’ll pay the $14 because it’s a relatively small amount in comparison to what you’ll be spending throughout your trip, and if you’re willing to shell out all of that cash you’re certainly not going to turn around and go home because of an overpriced parking fee. It’s the first of many times during the day that Disney bends you over and gives you the shaft.
But you don’t have to take it! There are ways to get free parking at WDW!
At the Resorts:
It used to be that you could pull up to the far right gate at Magic Kingdom, tell them you were visiting a friend at The Contemporary, and they’d let you through without paying, no questions asked. Same thing with The Boardwalk as free parking for Epcot. But I guess eventually Disney caught onto this trick and they stopped letting people through the gates unless they had a valid, verifiable dining reservation. However, this is fairly easy to deal with as long as you plan in advance. A few days before your trip call Disney Reservations and make reservation at one of the restaurants in the hotel where you want to park. They’ll put you on a daily list, and the person at the gate will check that list and let you through. During peak seasons they’ll give you a 3-hour parking pass, but I’ve found that if you “accidentally forget” to put the pass on your dashboard you’ll be able to park in a resort lot all day without being towed.
Here are some resort/restaurant suggestions for each park:
Magic Kingdom: O’Hana at The Polynesian. Park and either walk over to The Magic Kingdom or take the monorail two stops over. Or if you’re really feeling adventurous and don’t feel like worrying about the 3-hour limitation, you can pretend like you’re driving to the Polynesian lot but instead continue past the resort (at this point you’re out of sight of the main gate attendants) and circle back around to the regular Magic Kingdom lot, effectively bypassing the main gate parking fee.
Go right at the Main Gate and circle past The Polynesian for free parking
Epcot/DHS: Flying Fish Café at The Boardwalk. The Boardwalk has the biggest lot (including an overflow lot across the street) and from the lobby it’s a 5 minute walk to the International Gateway at Epcot, or a 15 minute walk to DHS. You can also take one of the complimentary boats to either location. FYI, They WILL enforce the 3-hour limit during The Food and Wine Festival at Epcot.
Animal Kingdom: Nope, nada, nothing. There are no resorts within walking distance to Animal Kingdom. However, if you’re lucky you might be able to make a reservation at The Rainforest Café and either get free parking or get your parking validated inside the restaurant.
If all else fails you can always park for free at Downtown Disney. However, there are NO busses from Downtown Disney to any of the parks. So you’ll have to take a boat or bus to a resort, and then take a bus, boat, or monorail from that resort to the park you want to visit. Of course, after all of this transferring you’ll probably have wasted an hour of your precious vacation time, so it’s up to you to decide if that hour is worth less than the $14 it would have cost you to pay for parking.
AAA Diamond Pass:
This isn’t free parking, but can be used in conjunction with the above tips. If you book your vacation through AAA you will receive a parking pass that allows you access to the Diamond Lot at each park. The Diamond Lot is usually right up front near the entrance so you don’t have to fight your way onto the tram, you can just walk to the entrance. If you’ve ever waited for a WDW parking tram you know that they can be extremely crowded, and with all of the stops it can take you 30 minutes or more to get to the actual gate.
Although they don’t advertise this fact, you actually only need to purchase your Park Hoppers through AAA to get the Diamond Pass, not your entire vacation. AAA offers a decent discount on Park Hoppers, although not as much as Undercover Tourist, so it’s up to you to figure out if it’s worth the extra expense of booking through AAA to get this convenience.
However, eBay again comes to the rescue. You can buy a AAA parking pass on eBay for less than $30, which is good for the length of your stay. If you’re renting a car, staying a week, renting a DVC, and purchasing your tickets via Undercover Tourist (or have Annual Passes) this is probably a great deal for the convenience it offers.
EATING/DRINKING THERE
There’s no such thing as cheap food or booze for sale in WDW. Sure, there
might be bargains that bring the costs down a bit, but compared to your local grocery store, corner bar, or chain restaurant, all consumables in WDW are way overpriced.
On their end, the reasoning for these high prices is “You’re stuck here, suckers, so deal with it!” They know the chances of you leaving the WDW Resort for a meal are extremely small (especially if you’ve used DME and couldn’t drive off-property if you wanted to) so they jack up prices to crazy levels. And unfortunately, with the advent of the Dining Plan and “Free Dining”, prices have continued to go up over the years as quality and portion sizes have decreased.
If you went to a restaurant at home with such high prices and mediocre food, you’d likely complain to the manager and would never go back there again. So why put up with it at WDW? “Oh, we’re on vacation, we can splurge a little,” is the typical response. Well, sure, that makes sense if you’re splurging on high quality food with excellent service, but it seems like the days where management saw the restaurants at WDW as a source of pride instead of a cash cow are mostly gone. There are a few exceptions – a certain entrée at a certain sit-down that is world-class, or a certain appetizer at a counter service that’s a hell of a bargain, but those exceptions are quickly disappearing.
So stop throwing your hard earned money away! I can’t tell you how to make the food any better at WDW, but at the very least I can tell you how to come away from your vacation with a full stomach and a lot more cash in your pockets.
The Dark Side of Disney Page 4