The Sun and Her Flowers

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The Sun and Her Flowers Page 6

by Rupi Kaur


  i have lived

  i have won at this game called life

  - funeral

  it was when i stopped searching for home within others

  and lifted the foundations of home within myself

  i found there were no roots more intimate

  than those between a mind and body

  that have decided to be whole

  what good am i

  if i do not fill the plates

  of the ones who fed me

  but fill the plates of strangers

  - family

  even if they’ve been separated

  they’ll end up together

  you can’t keep lovers apart

  no matter how much

  i pluck and pull them

  my eyebrows always

  find their way

  back to each other

  - unibrow

  a child and an elder sat across from each other at a table

  a cup of milk and tea before them

  the elder asked the child

  if she was enjoying her life

  the child answered yes

  life was good but

  she couldn’t wait to grow up

  and do grown-up things

  then the child asked the elder the same question

  he too said life was good

  but he’d give anything to go back to an age

  where moving and dreaming were still possibilities

  they both took a sip from their cups

  but the child’s milk had curdled

  the elder’s tea had grown bitter

  there were tears running from their eyes

  the day you have everything

  i hope you remember

  when you had nothing

  she is not a porn category

  or the type you look for

  on a friday night

  she is not needy or easy or weak

  - daddy issues is not a punch line

  i long to be a lily pad

  i made change after change

  on the road to perfection

  but when i finally felt beautiful enough

  their definition of beauty

  suddenly changed

  what if there is no finish line

  and in an attempt to keep up

  i lose the gifts i was born with

  for a beauty so insecure

  it can’t commit to itself

  - the lies they sell

  you want to keep

  the blood and the milk hidden

  as if the womb and breast

  never fed you

  it is a trillion-dollar industry that would collapse

  if we believed we were beautiful enough already

  their concept of beauty

  is manufactured

  i am not

  - human

  how do i shake this envy

  when i see you doing well

  sister how do i love myself enough to know

  your accomplishments are not my failures

  - we are not each other’s competition

  it is a blessing

  to be the color of earth

  do you know how often

  flowers confuse me for home

  we need more love

  not from men

  but from ourselves

  and each other

  - medicine

  you are a mirror

  if you continue to starve yourself of love

  you’ll only meet people who’ll starve you too

  if you soak yourself in love

  the universe will hand you those

  who’ll love you too

  - a simple math

  how much

  or how little

  clothing she has on

  has nothing to do with how free she is

  - covered | uncovered

  there are mountains growing

  beneath our feet

  that cannot be contained

  all we’ve endured

  has prepared us for this

  bring your hammers and fists

  we have a glass ceiling to shatter

  - let’s leave this place roofless

  it isn’t blood that makes you my sister

  it’s how you understand my heart

  as though you carry it

  in your body

  what is the greatest lesson a woman should learn

  that since day one

  she’s already had everything she needs within herself

  it’s the world that convinced her she did not

  they convinced me

  i only had a few good years left

  before i was replaced by a girl younger than me

  as though men yield power with age

  but women grow into irrelevance

  they can keep their lies

  for i have just gotten started

  i feel as though i just left the womb

  my twenties are the warm-up

  for what i’m really about to do

  wait till you see me in my thirties

  now that will be a proper introduction

  to the nasty. wild. woman in me.

  how can i leave before the party’s started

  rehearsals begin at forty

  i ripen with age

  i do not come with an expiration date

  and now

  for the main event

  curtains up at fifty

  let’s begin the show

  - timeless

  to heal

  you have to

  get to the root

  of the wound

  and kiss it all the way up

  they threw us in a pit to end each other

  so they wouldn’t have to

  starved us of space so long

  we had to eat each other up to stay alive

  look up look up look up

  to catch them looking down at us

  how can we compete with each other

  when the real monster is too big

  to take down alone

  when my daughter is living in my belly

  i will speak to her like

  she’s already changed the world

  she will walk out of me on a red carpet

  fully equipped with the knowledge

  that she’s capable of

  anything she sets her mind to

  (ode to raymond douillet’s a short tour and farewell)

  now

  is not the time

  to be quiet

  or make room for you

  when we have had no room at all

  now

  is our time

  to be mouthy

  get as loud as we need

  to be heard

  representation

  is vital

  otherwise the butterfly

  surrounded by a group of moths

  unable to see itself

  will keep trying to become the moth

  - representation

  take the compliment

  do not shy away from

  another thing that belongs to you

  our work should equip

  the next generation of women

  to outdo us in every field

  this is the legacy we’ll leave behind

  - progress

  the road to changing the world

  is never-ending

  - pace yourself

  the neces
sity to protect you overcame me

  i love you too much

  to remain quiet as you weep

  watch me rise to kiss the poison out of you

  i will resist the temptation

  of my tired feet

  and keep marching

  with tomorrow in one hand

  and a fist in the other

  i will carry you to freedom

  - love letter to the world

  have your eyes ever fallen upon a beast like me

  i have the spine of a mulberry tree

  the neck of a sunflower

  sometimes i am the desert

  at times the rain forest

  but always the wild

  my belly brims over the waistband of my pants

  each strand of hair frizzing out like a lifeline

  it took a long time to become

  such a sweet rebellion

  back then i refused to water my roots

  till i realized

  if i am the only one

  who can be the wilderness

  then let me be the wilderness

  the tree trunk cannot become the branch

  the jungle cannot become the garden

  so why should i

  - it is so full here in myself

  many try

  but cannot tell the difference

  between a marigold and my skin

  both of them are an orange sun

  blinding the ones who have not learned to love the light

  if you have never

  stood with the oppressed

  there is still time

  - lift them

  the year is done. i spread the past three hundred

  sixty-five days before me on the living room carpet.

  here is the month i decided to shed everything not deeply committed to my dreams. the day i refused to be a victim to the self-pity. here is the week i slept in the garden. the spring i wrung the self-doubt by its neck. hung your kindness up. took down the calendar. the week i danced so hard my heart learned to float above water again. the summer i unscrewed all the mirrors from their walls. no longer needed to see myself to feel seen. combed the weight out of my hair.

  i fold the good days up and place them in my back pocket for safekeeping. draw the match. cremate the unnecessary. the light of the fire warms my toes. i pour myself a glass of warm water to cleanse myself for january. here i go. stronger and wiser into the new.

  there is

  nothing left

  to worry about

  the sun and her flowers are here.

  and then there are days when the simple act of breathing leaves you exhausted. it seems easier to give up on this life. the thought of disappearing brings you peace. for so long i was lost in a place where there was no sun. where there grew no flowers. but every once in a while out of the darkness something i loved would emerge and bring me to life again. witnessing a starry sky. the lightness of laughing with old friends. a reader who told me the poems had saved their life. yet there i was struggling to save my own. my darlings. living is difficult. it is difficult for everybody. and it is at that moment when living feels like crawling through a pin-sized hole. that we must resist the urge of succumbing to bad memories. refuse to bow before bad months or bad years. cause our eyes are starving to feast on this world. there are so many turquoise bodies of water left for us to dive in. there is family. blood or chosen. the possibility of falling in love. with people and places. hills high as the moon. valleys that roll into new worlds. and road trips. i find it deeply important to accept that we are not the masters of this place. we are her visitors. and like guests let’s enjoy this place like a garden. let us treat it with a gentle hand. so the ones after us can experience it too. let’s find our own sun. grow our own flowers. the universe delivered us with the light and the seeds. we might not hear it at times but the music is always on. it just needs to be turned louder. for as long as there is breath in our lungs—we must keep dancing.

  rupi kaur is a #1 new york times bestselling author and illustrator of two collections of poetry. she started drawing at the age of five when her mother handed her a paintbrush and said—draw your heart out. rupi views her life as an exploration of that artistic journey. after completing her degree in rhetoric studies she published her first collection of poems milk and honey in 2014. the internationally acclaimed collection sold well over a million copies gracing the new york times bestseller list every week for over a year. it has since been translated into over thirty languages. her long-awaited second collection the sun and her flowers was published in 2017. through this collection she continues to explore a variety of themes ranging from love. loss. trauma. healing. femininity. migration. revolution. rupi has performed her poetry across the world. her photography and art direction are warmly embraced and she hopes to continue this expression for years to come.

  - about the author

  the sun and her flowers is a

  collection of poetry about

  grief

  self-abandonment

  honoring one’s roots

  love

  and empowering oneself

  it is split into five chapters

  wilting. falling. rooting. rising. and blooming.

  - about the book

 

 

 


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