Sempiternal

by K. Renee

  Walking down one of the halls by what I discovered was the garage; I check each door and try to find where they have Max. I have so many questions, and I need to get the answers before I let them do whatever they have planned. I don’t even know if I could trust Max after the last few conversations we’ve had. He was the reason I had my recent panic attack, and I almost got hit by a car.

  As I try another door, I hold my breath when the door is locked. Every other door in this hall is unlocked except this one. Reaching up, I run my fingers along the door casing and try to find a key that may have been left here by either Jerick or Conaill. The moment my finger touches something cold, I feel like I’ve won the lottery. Grabbing the key, I stick it in the door and turn it.

  When the lock clicks, I turn the doorknob and push the door open slowly. The room is dark and not a sound is being made. I run my hand up the wall until I find the light switch. Flipping the switch, the light invades my eyes, and I groan at the sudden brightness.

  “Hello?” I hear a voice call out. It doesn’t sound like Max, but it is a male voice. I tiptoe towards the voice, and then I finally see him, I gasp putting my hands to my mouth. He’s lying on the ground with his hands tied behind his back. I rush over to him and kneel down on the ground beside him.

  He doesn’t say a word as his eyes meet mine. I scan over his face and see that there are no cuts or scrapes on him. He’s okay. They didn’t hurt him. “Max,” I whisper. I reach for his bindings and start to undo them. The last one is the hardest, and his whimpers cause me to stop what I’m doing. I’m hurting him, and I hate that. I don’t want to put him in any more pain than he is already in. I don’t know what they plan to do to him, but I can’t let it happen.

  As much as he hurt me, he is still my friend. I have to help him.

  Once I get the last tie off of him, I help him stand up. He leans most of his body weight on me and just as we take a step, I feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Ice shoots through my body when his voice rings out in the basement.

  “What are ye doing love?” I lower my eyes for a second and try to take a breath. His voice isn’t the sweet one that he gives me every day; it’s the icy one that he gives to his men when he’s pissed off. The one I know that means his anger is directed right at me.

  “I…” I don’t even know what to say. I want to protect Jerick, but I can’t let him hurt Max. “He doesn’t deserve this.” I finally push the words out. His eyes narrow on me, and I swallow around the lump in my throat.

  “He doesn’t deserve this? Are ye fecking joshing me? He put yer life in danger, and he was going to rat ye out to me family.” He stalks towards us, and I try not to lose my composure.

  “He wouldn’t do that.” My voice is weak, I know it is. The sound of it is foreign, and I hate that one look from Jerick can almost bring me to my knees. “He wouldn’t sell me out.” I look at him, and I see the hope shining in his eyes.

  “Yer not who I thought ye were if ye believe the bullshit he’s feeding ye, love.” Biting my lip, I try to stop the tears. “I’ve done nothing but protected ye. I went against me family and friends fer ye. I turned me back on everything that I’ve ever known because I loved ye.” I feel my heart break with one word. Loved. He doesn’t love me anymore.

  A tear falls down my cheek, and I don’t bother wiping it off. My heart just broke into a million little pieces, and I know that I’ll never be able to pick them up or find them all. “Ye can have her. I hope he can protect ye, lass. I’ll make sure yer life is fecking hell. I won’t stop coming after ye.” He turns and walks away, not standing in the way of us. He doesn’t care if something happens to me now.

  My legs give out, and I fall to the ground, taking Max with me. I don’t even feel the hard concrete as my ass comes in contact with it. I’m numb. Broken in a way that I don’t think I could ever be fixed. Instead of helping Max, I slowly pull myself to my feet and run. I run out of the basement and straight for the front door. I don’t stop for shoes or a jacket, I just get the hell out of there.

  Jerick’s anger and hate were all it took to finally break me. Break me so much that I know I’ll never recover. He became my life, everything that I could ever want and more, someone who would protect me until his dying day. Now? I don’t even know where I’ll go. He moved all my things to his place. A place that I don’t even know about.

  I run until I can’t run anymore. Tears streaming down my face mixed with snot. I don’t stop running. I have nothing. No money. No identification. Nothing.

  I fall on the ground when my legs are so tired that they finally gave out. Sitting on the concrete in the snow, I don’t even feel the cold. The numbness lets me sit for far longer than I should, and I can’t bring myself to move.

  I had a love of a man who would kill for me. I had a new best friend that would let me cry on her shoulder if I needed it and I threw it all away. I have nothing now. Rhett was right. I am worthless. Not worth a damn thing to anyone that mattered.

  I don’t matter.

  Thirty

  Jerick

  She chose him over me.

  The sight of her and him together made me want to gut the fecker right in front of her. Get rid of him so she couldn’t choose him. I clench me fist a few times before I finally punch the damn wall in the bedroom we shared. I should have fecking known. No lass was worth the shit I did. She wasn’t fecking worth it. I gave up everything fer her, and this is how she repaid me.

  She chose him.

  Running my hand over me face, I try to calm meself down, but it’s no use. She’s gone. I’m done. She fecking tore me damn heart in two. I should have known better. Loyalty is all we have, and she turned her back on me. She chose him. Fecking shit!

  Me loyalty to the family should be me number one priority, and I threw it all away for her.

  A knock at the door only pisses me off more. I have a feeling that Conaill was the one who told her where he was. If he didn’t, she wouldn’t have gone near him. I would still have her in me bed, and I’d be waking her up to shag her instead of cursing meself fer letting her break me the way she has.

  The door opens, and I see his smug face. He knew she would help the fecker, it’s written all over his face. “Ye of all people should know that ye can’t trust a lass. All they are good fer is a shag, and that’s it.” His grin is irritating the shit out of me.

  It doesn’t take much fer me to walk over to him and punch him. His head jerks to the side with the force of me fist. He knew that this would happen, he planned fer it. His loyalty to me isn’t something that I ever thought I should question. His loyalty to the family was something I never thought would happen. The family left us out to dry. They let me brother take over me cut and now… I shake me head.

  “Ye need to get yer shit together. We have a fecking war to fight. Ye want the lass, then go get her. Just fecking remember she chose that fecker down in the basement. She was helping him when ye found them.” I turn me head away from him. Me anger is building, and I know I won’t be able to tap it down this time. I want blood, and his will do.

  Grabbing the lamp off the nightstand, I throw it against the wall as hard as I can and watch as the glass shatters and fall all over the carpet. I hear footsteps come running and a gun is pulled and pointed right at me as Rory comes in the room.

  “What in the bloody hell is going on in here?” he asks as he takes in the room.

  “She left.” Those are the only two words that fall from me mouth. I can’t think of anything else. All I can do is think about her and the way I feel. I fecking love her. I sink to the ground next to the bed, and slowly me body goes numb. The pain doesn’t radiate through me any longer. Instead, I feel dead inside.

  “Shit,” Rory says walking over to me. He puts his hand on me shoulder and gives it a squeeze before he says anything. “Did she leave because she’s scared?” His question burns at me chest. I wish she left for another reason other than the one she did leave fer. I said I’d come after her, b
ut I won’t. As much as I want to make her suffer, she’s safe from me.

  I said that I loved her. I know that is what hurt her the most. I didn’t say that I love her, I made it past tense. I broke her by saying that I didn’t love her anymore, the final blow to her heart.

  “No. She’s not scared. She left because I told her that I didn’t love her anymore.” Conaill winces as the words fall from me lips. I fecked up, I know this. She’s fecking everything, but she was going to betray me. I couldn’t take that. I need someone who would give their life fer me, just like I would give me life fer them.

  “I don’t give a shit what she does if she lets him have her.” I run me hand over me face before I get up and walk away. I don’t stop when he calls me name and I sure as hell don’t stop when he tells me that Max is gone. There is nothing that will make the pain in me chest disappear. She was it. She was the one that I wanted above all else. I would have given it all up if she asked me too.

  It would have been a long road ahead of us, running from the family, but I would have done it fer her. I would have done anything fer her.

  Taking off into the early morning, I just get in me car and drive. I drive fer hours, and when I finally stop, I’m sitting in front of me family’s restaurant. I stare at the entrance fer a good hour before I finally get out of the car and walk inside. As far as the family goes, I’m still in the fold. They want to get rid of Stana just to hurt me, but now that she’s gone, they can’t hold her over me anymore. They can’t threaten her life to get me to do as they want.

  All their plans will be null and void, and I get pleasure just knowing that. They are going to have to rethink their strategy. I won’t give up me stake in the family just because they think they can intimidate me. I’ll go to war with them and kill every last fecker that thinks I’m not fit fer me spot in the family.

  The minute me feet hit the inside of the restaurant, all eyes are on me. I scan the room, taking in the familiar faces and nod me head in greeting. My eye catches movement, but I don’t care. It’s four a.m., and I knew that everyone would be here. We start and end every day in this place. It’s our home base, where all the money goes after being collected.

  “Jerick, me boyo,” Me Da’s voice rings out in me ears. “I see ye finally decided to become a bigger part of the family.”

  I turn me attention to the man who taught me everything about the business back in Belfast. The one who encouraged me to be the cold-blooded killer that I now am.

  “Aye,” I answer, not taking me eyes off of him.

  I want him to trust me before I slay the fecking snake that is standing right in front of me. I will take him down and Liam too. They will both be dead.

  “Let’s talk in me office.” He waves his hand in the direction of the office. I nod me head and follow his lead towards the back room. It won’t surprise me if he tries to get me brother or one of the men to try and take me out now that I’ve agreed to take on more of the family business. They were already trying to push me out when Liam came back, so I can only imagine that it’s not going to change now.

  I’ve kept their secrets long enough, and I won’t protect me brother again. If he fecked this part up, I would be the first one to throw his arse under the bus and run the bastard over, backing up and running him over again. All is fair in love and war, and Liam is at the top of me list.

  As the door shuts behind us, I am locked in the same room as me Da. I study the hard lines of his face and can see how old he is starting to look. His hair is greying and has dark circles under his eyes. Nothing like the man he was when we first came stateside.

  “Ye are ready fer more?” he asks as he takes a seat in his chair behind the big oak desk that takes up far too much space in the damn room.

  “Aye. I’ve cut ties with the lass. I’m ready to jump back in full force,” I answer, not getting any closer to the desk. I stand closer to the door with a knife in the sleeve of me jacket. I don’t trust anyone here and I sure as hell won’t let anyone get the drop on me. This isn’t just his place, it’s mine too. If I weren’t around when he started this up, he wouldn’t have the control and power that he has now. I built it up, and I keep it going most days.

  “Good.” He scans over some paperwork on his desk. He looks up at me after he’s done and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. “She wasn’t good enough fer ye. If ye want to marry, I can find ye someone more appropriate.”

  I roll me eyes at that. “I don’t want to marry. I rather shag who I want, when I want. One lass tying me down isn’t what I want.”

  He laughs at that.

  “Please boyo, like getting married would affect that.” I have to bite me tongue. That is where me Da and I differ. I don’t cheat on me lass. I don’t care if I don’t love her. If I ever got married, there will never be cheating. If she cheated on me, I would kill the bastard she was with without thinking twice. I don’t share and I sure as hell don’t need more than one woman nagging at me fer whatever reason.

  My thoughts go immediately to Stana. The angel that I want to hate but can’t. As pissed as I am at her, I still crave her soft touch. The feel of her skin against mine as I shagged her. The feeling of her cunt as it squeezes me tightly as I go deep inside of her.

  I have to close my eyes as I picture the way her lips parted and her eyes closed as I sunk inside of her last. Me dick twitches at the memory, and I have to think of something else before I get a damn boner. “Ye need to get laid, boyo.” Me da laughs, motioning down with his eyes.

  “Don’t fecking worry about me. I can find me own piece of arse. I don’t need yer help.” He just grins at me, and it’s one of those slimy ones that make me skin itch. I don’t trust the fecker anymore. I can only assume that he has some sort of agenda and that he will still try and find a way to hurt me or take Stana out.

  As much as I want to never have to see her again after she chose him, I couldn’t let anyone hurt her. I still love her. I’d even die to protect her no matter how pissed I was at her.

  “Aye, well go get some pussy and come back tonight. I have a few jobs I need to be done very delicately.” I nod me head and turn to walk out the door. “Jerick?” I turn and see a dark look in his eyes. “Glad to have ye back, boyo.” I nod me head before turning and making me way towards the door and opening it. Just as I walk through it, I see me brother Liam walking towards me.

  “Aye, brother.” His grins at me and I have to keep meself in check. I can’t deck the sorry bastard right here in the restaurant and I sure as hell can’t put a bullet in his head. So I just give him a hard look before walking away and making me way to the front of the restaurant and out of the front door.

  The minute me feet hit the sidewalk I feel like I can finally breathe again. The tightening feeling in me chest disappears, and the only thing that I can feel is the heartbreak. The feeling that I’ve lost the only thing that was important to me hits me hard, and I have to stop and take a deep breath. Motherfecker.

  Making me way to the car, I get in and start the engine, not caring where I’m headed. I peel out and start driving, not realizing where I’m going until I put me car in park outside of her apartment, the one that I moved all her stuff out of. If she’s here, she has nothing left.

  Although I don’t think she would risk coming here, she’s got nothing. She left everything she owned with me, and I know that it will be a hard road ahead of her starting over with nothing more than the clothes on her back.

  Thirty-One

  Stana

  I can feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I walk down the street, not really sure where to go. Part of me thinks that maybe he will try and find me, but my logical side knows that he won’t come looking for me. I try to keep my mind off of all things Jerick, but it’s almost impossible.

  I love him.

  He means more to me than anyone else in my bland existence. I should have never tried to save Max. Maybe Jerick was right when he said that Max was going to sell me out to his family.
I mean, why else would he be at the restaurant Jerick’s family owns.

  Everything still doesn’t make sense.

  I sigh and continue to walk in what seems to be circles. I have nowhere to go, and I have no money or anything else to find somewhere to stay. I could force Max to take me in after I lost everything to save him. I close my eyes for a second before opening them again. A stranger bumps into me and quickly says sorry before hurrying off to wherever they were heading.

  The eerie feeling is still with me, so I duck into a department store and weave through the aisles and racks of clothes. I turn just in time to see that someone is looking for me. I sneak through the clothing until I find another door and slip through it. When I’m back on the street, I don’t feel that creepy feeling any longer, so I continue to walk in the opposite direction.

  I don’t think that his family is done looking for me or trying to kill me, so I need to be smart. I need to find somewhere to lay low as I think about my next move. Maybe if I could prove to them that I would never hurt Jerick or their family, they will leave me alone.

  Oh, who am I kidding? These people are cold-blooded killers who probably don’t give a shit about me or anyone else. They are only going to protect their own family, and from what I overheard before Jerick pretty much kicked me out of his life, the family didn’t even trust each other.

  Conaill and Rory were the only two people that Jerick trusts his life to. I know I should have trusted them too, but I barely knew them, and I already have an issue believing men I hardly know. Except I trusted Jerick.

  He was the first person that I was able to trust right when I met him, even though it was a stupid decision. He only wanted me for one thing, sex. I’m so damn foolish. “So stupid,” I mutter to myself. No one even bothers as they walk past me, bumping and shouldering their way through the crowd. I can probably hide out in my old apartment until I can find something else.

  My lease wasn’t up for a few more months so it would be better than sleeping outside in this cold ass weather. Putting my head down, I start to walk towards my only salvation. The one place that I know no one will look for me in. But if they do, I can just sneak out the window like I did the last time. I doubt anyone will even come looking for me now that Jerick has no ties to me.