by K. Renee
“I can’t,” she whispers, turning away from me. She looks over to Cara for help, but Cara doesn’t do or say a word. She knows what me plan is and I’m sure Rory told her to stay out of our problems. That it didn’t concern her.
“Ye can love. I can provide fer ye.” A bitter laugh comes from her lips, and I hate that I’m the reason she’s become slightly cold.
“I don’t want anything from you Jerick. We don’t need anything. We will survive all on our own.” We. She said we.
“Is it…” I can’t even get the rest of the words out. I stare into her eyes as she struggles to decide if she is going to give me the truth or not. “Stana,” I say with a little more force. She rolls her shoulders before giving me a look that I’ve never seen from her before. She’s angry, angrier than I’ve ever seen and it makes me wonder how I could have turned her into someone like that. The lass that I am in love with, she doesn’t deserve to be bitter and angry. She deserves love and lots of it. That’s why I wrote her the note and gave her the cash. I wanted her to have a good life full of love and happiness, not anger and death.
Thirty-Three
Stana
Staring into his eyes brings me back to the last time I was able to press my lips against his. Memories of the two of us fill my head, and I have to fight back any emotion. I don’t want him to know what I have planned. I don’t want him to get involved. This is something that I have to do to protect him and our baby.
“I’m not going back to you,” I whisper, feeling my heart break a little bit more with every word I say to him. I hate that I need to even turn him down, but I need to be able to get away while trying to get this done. If I don’t, they are going to kill him.
His death isn’t something that I can handle. I need him in my life even if I lose any chance I have at getting him back by turning him down right now. At least if he’s alive, he can still be a father. A better father than his own.
“Stana,” he growls, mad that I’m not giving him the answer that he is expecting from me. He thinks that I’m weak and for a long time, I thought so too. But I know that I am doing the right thing by fighting to save his life. Losing him forever is not an option.
He closes the distance between us and slides his hand up my back, tangling his fingers in my ponytail, pulling my head back slightly. “Ye can’t stay away from me. I know.” His eyes bore into me, and I have to fight my emotions. Giving in would be so much easier. I love him way too much to let anything happen to him.
“Jerick…” I start, but he silences me. His lips graze against mine, and I feel my whole body shudder in anticipation of his kiss.
“Gráím thú,” he whispers against my lips. I hear a slight intake of breath from behind me, and I have to close my eyes. If he had the chance to see the war raging in my eyes, he would know. He would wear me down until I told him my plan. I can’t let that happen.
“Stana, please don’t make me walk away.” His voice is so low that I almost don’t hear him. “Airím uaim thú.”
“What does that mean?” I ask. I have no idea what he said either time in his native tongue, and I hate that. It must have meant something for Cara to suck in a breath.
“Gráím thú means that I love you.” He kisses me once more before he tells me the next one. “Airím uaim thú means that I miss ye.”
My whole body goes numb.
He loves me. He said that he loves me. I know that he said that he loved me before, but it wasn’t the same. He had never told me that he loved me before and when he had said that he loved me in the past tense for the first time it destroyed me. I didn’t think that he would be able to feel the same way about me again.
“Please don’t say that.” My voice breaks and my legs start to give out. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I shouldn’t have answered the door. I should have just pretended that I wasn’t here. Then I wouldn’t have to hear these words out of his mouth for the first time like this. It should have been when we cuddled up in bed after a long night of sex.
I pull away, and he tries to grab my hand, but I move too quickly for him. I have to keep my distance. I need to stay away until at least I know that he is safe. He may be angry with me when he finds out, but that is something that I am willing to risk to ensure that he lives through it.
Another knock on the door brings my attention to it, and I know that everything is going to be ruined. Every sweet word he just said to me is going to be clouded with a darkness that I may never be able to erase. He’s going to hate me, and he will have every reason to. I won’t blame him.
I watch as he walks over to the door and opens it to come face to face with Liam. I watch as his whole body goes rigid. “What the feck are ye doing here, Liam?” Jerick growls.
Silently I make my way towards them, and I catch Cara out of the corner of my eye. She motions for me to stop, but I can’t. I need to end this once and for all. I had a plan, and when they had shown up, it ruined it. It’s now or never. I have to end this soon before something happens to Jerick.
As I reach Jerick, I put my hand on his back and slowly pull his gun out of the back of his jeans as he and Liam just stare at each other, not one word being exchanged between the two brothers. Once the gun is out of his jeans, he reaches back with one of his hands, but he doesn’t stop me. It’s almost like he’s given up. “Ye shagging me lass?” He all but sneers at Liam. “So help me god if yer the one who…” I put my other hand on his back, silencing him.
“She’s the one who called this little meeting. Only she said it would just be the two of us.” I can’t bring myself to listen to him tell Jerick what the meeting was about. “She wanted me to leave ye alone. Ye must be one hell of a shag brother.” He grins, and I feel my stomach turn. I’m going to puke. I can feel the bile as it travels up my throat.
“I’m sure she is a hot piece of arse under all that.” He tries to look over at me, but Jerick blocks his view of me.
“So move aside little brother, I have other shit I need to do.” Jerick doesn’t move, and I know that I need to do this now. I need to get this over with so I can save his life. I don’t wait any longer. I point the gun at Liam and pull the trigger before he can even realize what’s about to happen.
His eyes widen in shock before he grabs at his chest as his body falls to the ground in a heap.
And I go completely numb.
Epilogue
Stana
One Year Later
I still don’t regret the decision I made a year ago. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Protecting Jerick and our little girl was worth all the pain and tears. The anger and the hurt lasted for months before he finally let me in again. He thought the worst of me and I knew that I deserved it. I went behind his back and made a deal with the devil in a way.
He warned me how dangerous his brother was, and I believed him, but I had to do it. I had to kill his brother to protect them. He would never stop coming after us. Living in fear and always having to look over my shoulder wasn’t how I wanted to bring a baby into this world. She deserves the best life possible, and I will do anything to make sure she has that life.
The moment the doctor put that little girl in his arms, the ice melted away, and he smiled at me. I saw the tears in his eyes as he held her. Everything I did was for her. Fiona Brannigan was born three weeks early but has been nothing but a happy and healthy baby ever since.
Watching this man push that little girl on the swing in an empty park reminds me why I did it. Our story may not be perfect, but I know in my heart that it’s our story. I love Jerick so damn much that it hurts. When he hurts, I hurt. I want to ensure that he is never hurting, but I know that I can only do so much.
He doesn’t exactly like that I was the one to kill his brother, but he didn’t have a choice at the time. I took his decision away, and I think that it played a big part in why he was so angry.
“Stana,” he calls out, motioning for me to come over to them. Fiona sits there in the seat and gi
ggles as I make my way over to them. As I come closer, she reaches out for me, and I pick her up, pulling her out of the swing chair. I kiss both of her chubby little cheeks before I run my fingers through her soft red curls that she got from her daddy.
“Hi baby girl,” I coo at her. She grins a wet sloppy grin before reaching out and putting her hands on my face. I kiss her hand as it tries to go in my mouth and Jerick wraps his arms around us both. I sigh as I lean back into his embrace and we both stare out into the sunset.
My mind replays the conversation we had when I saw him for the first time after the murder.
Being locked away in this damn place is driving me insane. Jerick comes and goes, but he never says a word or stays for long. I know he’s pissed at me, but I’m not giving him a choice anymore. He needs to understand why I did it. Why I decided to risk my own life to save his.
I see him walk by the door and I get off the bed and start running after him. “Jerick,” I beg, grabbing his hand and forcing him to stop. His eyes flash with anger, and I release him, taking a few steps back. My hand absently goes to my stomach, and I see regret flash in his eyes before it’s gone like it never happened in the first place.
“What?” he growls. I stand my ground and open my mouth to tell him what happened, but he stops me before I can even get a word out. “What ye did was so damn selfish. Ye could have gotten yerself killed.”
I nod my head because I know that. I know that I could have died and I could have gotten him killed too if Liam would have seen the gun in my hand. “I was willing to take the risk. I had to protect you.” His eyes narrow as he stares at me, trying to figure out what the hell I’m talking about.
“After you left the money and the note, I went to see Max.” His nostrils flare, and I can feel his stare go straight through me. “He told me something he overheard while he was staking out your families restaurant.” I pause for a second and his eyes narrow on me, almost like he’s sure that whatever is about to come out of my mouth will be a lie. “Liam was planning on killing you.”
He closes his eyes for a second and when they open again, I can see the pain written all over his face. He doesn’t believe me. “He was planning on killing you at the docks while you were at some meeting with him. It was a setup, and I couldn’t let that happen. I need you,” I point to my stomach, “She needs you.”
A kiss to the side of my neck brings me out of my memories. It has been a hard road, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Seeing the way Jerick’s eyes light up when he sees our little girl makes everything worth it, completely worth it.
I would do it again if I had to. I wouldn’t think twice. Everything I do, I do it for them.
My perfect little-redheaded family.
The End
Sneak Peek
Fueled Anger
Jack Jameson
Prologue
Lennon
Blood coats my hands, and as I stare at it, I can’t remember what the fuck happened. Getting up off the cold, hard ground, I look around and see the body of a man. He’s half naked, wearing a pair of jeans that look like they were in the process of being taken off. My hands go to my body, and I feel my own half naked skin.
“Oh my god,” I whisper. The words seem like they echo in the cold, dark room. I check my jeans pockets for my cell phone, but I come up empty. Dropping to the ground, I search the floor frantically, feeling the ground until I find something. My hand hits the phone, and I press a button forcing the screen to light up. The bright light hurts my eyes for a few moments before my eyes finally adjust.
Looking at the screen, I see that it’s my phone. The background photo is the one I took with my brother at Christmas a few months ago. It was the first time I had seen him in months, and I treasure that photo. With shaky hands, I pull up my call list and see my brother’s name. He’s going to freak out. I try to wipe some of the blood off of my hands, but I can’t seem to get my hands clean.
Hitting his contact, I put the phone to my ear and wait for him to answer. “Hello?” His voice is groggy, and I can feel the tears start to sting my eyes.
“I need help.” My voice breaks and before I can say where I am, my brother is already asking me a million different questions.
The only one I can process is, “Where are you?”
I hesitate. I have no idea where I am. How the hell do I tell him that I have blood all over my hands?
“Lennon!” he yells.
My head is swimming. I just need to answer him. He will help me.
“I don’t know. I’m covered in blood. There’s…” I trail off, and I can hear his panic over the phone. He starts to cuss in the phone, and it sounds like he’s dialing something.
“Where are you Lennon?” he asks again. I don’t even know how to answer that.
“I don’t know Cash. I have no clue where I am or who the guy…” my stomach rolls and I think I’m going to be sick. I don’t know if this is my blood on me or… “I think I’m going to be sick.” I throw up on the ground next to me, and it mixes with the blood. My stomach turns at sight, and I start to cry. I just want to get out of here.
“Lennon, I need you to remember where you were tonight.” I try to rack my brain for any recollection of what I did last night, but nothing comes to me.
“I don’t remember.”
I can hear him say shit a few more times before he tells me to hold on. I can hear some buttons being pushed in the background and I just want to go home. Scrub every inch of my body and burn the clothes I’m still dressed in.
“I found your location. I’m on my way. Stay on the phone with me. Is there anyone else around you?” I scan the dark room the best I can, but I can’t see anything.
“I don’t think so. Please hurry I’m scared. What if he tries to attack me or something?” I hear his sigh and then his voice changes.
“How much blood is on you?” I look down at my hands, arms, and legs.
“A lot,” I whisper. I start to get light headed just looking at it, and I hear his voice break through the cloud that is starting to settle on my chest.
“I doubt he’ll be attacking you. Just be vigilant. I don’t know if there is anyone else there. If someone else shows up, run and hide. Don’t let them know you’re there.” My lip trembles at the sound of his voice, and I hear his truck start in the background. “Hey, I need you to meet me at a warehouse a few blocks from Asher.”
“No, I need you there now Hawk. I don’t give a fuck what you’re doing.” I close my eyes and lean against the wall. What the hell did I get myself into?
It feels like forever with me sitting on the phone listening to the sounds of his truck rev and him muttering under his breath about me and the shit I get myself into.
I listen to a sound of a Harley or something coming towards me, so I get up and start to move away from the man and towards what looks like a hallway in the back.
“Cash, I hear someone,” I whisper.
“Len, stay out of sight. I’m almost there.” He starts to talk to whoever Hawk is again, and I listen as well as I can at the sounds in the warehouse or whatever it is I’m in. I hear a door open somewhere, and then a rough voice is talking.
“I don’t see anything.” The voice says. “No, I don’t…” the voice pauses and then I hear, “Ah, fuck.”
“Lennon,” my brother says into the phone.
“Someone is in here.” My voice cracks, and it shows how scared I am.
“I know, it’s Hawk. I need you to go to him. I’m on the phone with him right now. Go to him.” I hear him tell Hawk that he’s sending me out to him, but I don’t move from my spot.
“Are you sure it’s Hawk out there?” I ask hesitantly.
“Yeah, just go to him. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Okay,” I say quietly. My feet lead me out into the open room against my will, and I see a man standing over the body. When he hears my feet against the concrete floor, his eyes shoot up and land directly on me. A light flashes
towards me, and I have to cover my eyes. He points it to the ground and starts to make his way towards me. He eats up the distance between us quickly, and I hear him talk into the phone.
“I got her. She’s fuckin’ covered in blood. Not sure if it’s his or hers.” He stops talking and comes to a stop in front of me. “Hey, I’m Hawk. Your brother is on his way.”
My eyes never leave him. He looks me over, and his eyes linger on my exposed chest. Before I can say anything to him, he pulls his shirt off and starts to pull it over my head.
I put my arms in the sleeves, and it’s probably three sizes too big for me and something I would never be caught dead in. “Are you hurt anywhere?” He takes another step towards me, and I shake my head no. I don’t even know, but I can’t get any words out. His hand reaches out towards me, and I flinch away. “Do you know who that guy is?” I shake my head no, and I hear another set of footsteps coming towards us, only it sounds like the person is running.