by Lauren Canan
Sophie was stunned. Not only was Clay showing her a softness he carried inside that hardly anyone ever saw, he was implying...what? That she was the one he really cared for? No. She couldn’t read more into his statement then he’d said. She’d simply helped him over the rough spots.
She swallowed hard and stepped back. He had been honest with her. She had so many secrets that she was keeping from him and she had no idea where to start. The full report on the employees at Everest possibly had not included her. But when he found out what she’d done to land her in Texas, it was possible she’d hurt him all over again. He couldn’t fall in love with her. He couldn’t love a woman who had taken someone’s life. She wouldn’t allow that to happen.
And then there was the biggest secret of all: she was carrying his baby. She hadn’t told him. And at this point she didn’t know when she could and delaying telling him was only making it worse.
Clay had opened the gate just a little bit and she stared at the giant in front of her who was contentedly munching on hay. Would Clay be as forgiving with her as he had been with the bull? She doubted it. There was good and there was bad and unlike the bull, she should know the difference.
Sophie didn’t know what to say. The bovine death trap standing five feet from her brought back memories. Memories of Clay gasping for another breath. Of his teeth-clenching moans, when he had been unable to keep the pain inside. Of the hours suspended by a breath held in the hope he would live another minute. Of all the tubes, the monitors, the people who’d passed by his bedside with a shake of their heads, silently indicating it was too bad a champion cowboy had almost been killed by the crazy life he’d chosen. Never mind the tickets sold to thousands who had come to watch the event unfold.
She had witnessed it all, never leaving his side. Clay had no one else and because of her own personal circumstances, neither did she. Day after day she wondered where his fiancée was and why she didn’t come in to check on him. Finally, during the physical therapy, when Clay needed her the most, the woman had stopped by. Just long enough to watch him struggle onto his feet and leave a message with Sophie along with the five-carat diamond engagement ring. Sophie had sat for days while Clay pushed himself to the limit, holding the ring so tight it cut her palm as she wondered how anyone could do such a thing. She’d prayed for the strength and the words to tell him, inwardly cursing the self-indulgent woman who clearly had no concerns for anyone but herself.
Maybe Clay was right about the bull. Maybe it really had saved his life.
She backed away from the gate, turned and began walking to the front of the barn.
“Sophie!” he called. “Wait up.”
She didn’t want to wait. She wanted to be a million miles away from here, hidden from the world so she could bear the guilt over her cowardly behavior in secret. It was a mortal sin to take a man’s life. It was almost as bad to fall in love with her boss, sleep with him and not tell him she was expecting his child. There was no good end to this. There couldn’t be. She didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes. She didn’t want to hear him offer to marry her because it was the honorable thing to do. And Clay, for all his brooding, intimidating persona, was an honorable man.
She had to leave. Even facing the people in her hometown would be better than facing Clay after she told him the truth. And she had to do it before any more time passed.
“Sophie,” he called. “Will you wait a second? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she threw over her shoulder, refusing to slow down. “I’ve got to get back to the office.”
Now she’d added lies to the list. Would the nightmare never end? She had to leave Royal and she had to do it soon.
Nine
Sophie was about to take her bath that evening when her cell rang. Fearing it was Clay, she started to ignore it. She was tired, it had been a long day, and she really didn’t want to argue with him any further. But she scooped up the phone and saw it was a call from her mom.
“Hello? Mom?”
“Hi, sweetie. I’m sorry to call so late,” her mother said. “But I just wanted to call and let you know that it might be possible for your dad to have an open-heart transplant. Your father is very weak after all the tests and the travel to and from Cleveland, and he had a slight flare-up today. But the doctors say that won’t matter once they get the heart. We don’t know how long it will be, of course, but we are now on the list. And they’ll be able to perform the transplant here at the local hospital—he won’t have to go back to Cleveland. Just keep your fingers crossed he can hold on until he gets it.”
“Oh, Mom...” The tears blurred Sophie’s vision. “That is so great. It’s beyond great. But...”
“I know. It’s so frightening. But we have...a lot...to be thankful for.”
Sophie sat down in a kitchen chair, her own problems suddenly becoming small and unimportant. “Isn’t there a specialist he can see? There’s got to be someone who can do something.”
“Dr. Brixton is a specialist, Sophie. Your dad’s heart is just worn-out. There are just a lot of people who are in his situation and I guess they feel the younger ones... Well, you know what I’m trying to say.”
Yeah, she knew. And while she could see the logic, it was her father who suffered. After the earlier argument with Clay when she refused to move into his house and now this, the whole world seemed to need a redo.
“Mom, I’m coming home.”
“Of course, if that’s your decision. But I would suggest you wait a while. There is nothing you can do here. As I said, this time he’ll be fine. We have been provided a place to stay near the hospital. It’s small, but it’s a miracle we were able to get it. If you have any vacation, you might want to come back and spend some time with him once he is out of the hospital. If—no, when—he gets his new heart, he’ll want to spend as much time as he can with both of his girls. I know he would love to see you again. We both would.”
“I won’t be coming home on vacation leave.” She hesitated. “Mom, there is something I need to tell you.” Again, she wavered, not really wanting to tell her mother over the phone that she was about to have a grandchild. But she couldn’t keep it in any longer. “I’m pregnant.”
The silence that hung in the air was not completely unexpected. But she needed her mom. She needed someone she could talk to, someone who would stand up for her and the baby. She knew her mother would be in her corner even if she didn’t approve.
Her mother finally said, “Does...does the father know?”
“No.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I don’t know how to tell him.”
“It’s important, don’t you think?”
“He’s not someone who wants to settle down with a family. I’m afraid he may think this is entrapment, an attempt to coerce him into marriage. I don’t want a marriage like that. It would never last. Oh, Mom, I love him. But this happened with the wrong guy.”
“Sophie, you have to tell him. He has a right to know.” Then she asked the inevitable question. “Is it Clay?”
Sophie’s breath left her lungs. “Yes.”
“Then, by all means, tell him. He’s a good man. You might be surprised by his reaction. But even if you’re right, you know we are here for you.”
“Thanks. I’ll think about what you said and give you a call if I decide to head back to Indiana. Give Dad a big hug and kiss for me, will you?”
When the call ended, she laid her cell on the kitchen table. She had to go home. Her time with Clay was drawing to a close. First, she needed to tell him about her pregnancy and once that information was shared, he would either ask her to leave or she would be so uncomfortable around him she would leave on her own.
Then she needed to return home to be there for her dad. Her family. She could get a call asking her to return home at any time, so she knew she had to tell Clay about th
e baby even though he wasn’t cut out for a relationship, let alone fatherhood. She needed to go back to Indiana so she could be with her family. She had to tell him soon.
* * *
“Stay and have supper,” Clay said, standing in the open door between their offices the following day. “I’m tired of eating alone.”
Sophie eyed him with no small measure of suspicion. There were any number of people he could call on to have supper with. He didn’t need her. But maybe it would afford the opportunity to tell him about the baby.
“What are we having?”
“Steaks and baked potato.”
“With a salad?”
“Any way you want it.”
Clay put in the request and by seven o’clock they were seated outside on the terrace that overlooked land that went on as far as the eye could see. The rolling hills were green—a rarity, happening only in the spring and early summer months. Most of Clay’s acreage had been cultivated, seeded each year and fertilized to ensure plenty of grass and forage for the fifty thousand head of cattle that roamed over the land.
“I’m going to ride out to the branding site, probably in the morning. I’m ready to get out of here for a couple of days. I want to see the new calves and get a close-up look at the heifers. We’re looking to triple the herd this year and I’ve decided to add some new bulls to the mix. I need to pick those out, as well.” He looked at Sophie. “Want to go?”
“Are you going by horseback?”
“Nah. That would take three days each way. I’ll go in the chopper. One day to get there and check everything out, stay overnight to enjoy the campfire and back the next day.”
“Okay. Yeah, I’d like to go. How about I have Rose fix some sandwiches and ice down some sodas for the trip?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“When are we leaving?”
“Early.”
“How early?”
Clay shrugged. “How about if I wake you just before I’m ready to go?”
“There is a perfectly good alarm clock in my bedroom at the cottage.”
“Hell, Sophie. A clock is no way to start the day. There are other things a lot more...invigorating than that.”
She picked up her water and took a sip. She knew what he wanted with regard to waking her up. She wanted him, too. But this couldn’t go on without her telling him about the life growing inside her. A life he’d helped to create. A little life that might someday have his easy sexy smile and eyes that could melt the coldest heart.
“Name one,” she teased.
“Ouch. Now, that hurt.”
She set down her glass as Rose came to take away their dinner plates. Sophie then pulled the dish of homemade strawberry shortcake from the center of the table, her mouth already watering.
“Rose is a great cook. But there are some foods at which she absolutely excels. This is one of them.” Clay picked up his small dessert plate and placed it in front of him, losing no time digging into the tantalizing dessert.
“Oh, my gosh,” Sophie said, unable to hold her comment until she’d finished chewing. “This is amazing.” She laughed, covering her mouth with her napkin.
For a few minutes neither spoke. The only sound was the clinking of spoons against the bone-china dishes as they inhaled the dessert.
When she was finished, Sophie sipped her water and sat back in the chair, glancing out over the balcony railing at the haunting beauty of the landscape.
The sun was setting, adding a flare of color to the many hills and valleys. It was surreal sitting here with Clay, watching it unfold.
“You are awfully quiet,” Clay remarked.
“It’s just so stunning. In the five years I’ve worked for you, I’ve never taken the time to enjoy the natural wonders of the area. Granted, this balcony provides a perfect place to view it, but I never guessed a dry desert landscape could be so...so...”
“Intriguing?”
“Yes.” She smiled. “It really is.”
“I love all the old stories about the early gold miners and treasure hunters from the late eighteen hundreds. Many were seen venturing into the mountains with their shovels and gear and never came out. They all wanted to find that illusive treasure said to be left by the early Native Americans or a gold vein found in deep crevices, tunnels and under huge boulders. If you grow up here, as a kid, the talk of finding a treasure or an old map leading to one is a temptation that’s hard to ignore.”
Sophie couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you telling me you used to hunt for buried treasure?”
“Absolutely.”
She laughed. “And...were you successful?”
“In a word, no. I found some cave art, which included arrows I swore pointed to the gold. But I never saw one glimmer. Just cactus and rocks.”
“I’ll bet it was fun to try.”
“Yeah, it was.”
“This was a great dinner,” she said, again looking out to where the last light of the day filtered through the mountains. “Thanks for inviting me. I could sit here and enjoy that view forever.”
“So could I,” he returned, looking directly at Sophie.
“So you never did answer me seriously,” she said. “What time are we leaving?”
“I was serious about waking you but okay, if you’d rather use an alarm, set it for six.”
“Done. This is going to be fun.”
* * *
With Clay at the controls, the helicopter left the ground heading west. It rose to a height that still allowed them to see the terrain and watch it change from green grass and towering pines to red rocks, cactus and sage. Then back up and over a mountain pass to find pine and oak trees again. They flew over valleys, saw rivers and tributaries as the water flowed at the bottom of deeply cut gorges and into green valleys. But even though the desert was sparse by comparison to the green mountain peaks, it had a romantic draw all its own.
All too soon the cattle and the cowboys who herded them began to appear. It looked like a massive undertaking.
“They bring them all into camp and sort them by sex and age,” Clay said over the headset. “The younger ones receive our brand. The two-year-old bulls are what I came to see. I want to add about fifty to the breeding plan. The rest will be taken to market.”
A few minutes later, Clay set the chopper down near what appeared to be the central branding operation. White pipe and steel fencing held hundreds of cattle, with more on the way. Together he and Sophie exited the helicopter and walked toward the center of the operation. Clay approached two men standing at the fence. Handshakes and greetings were exchanged, and Clay introduced them to Sophie. Then he lost himself in a discussion of the two-year-old bulls and Sophie was glad to stand back and watch. He was in his element. How he managed to pull on a suit and tie and look like a businessman, convincing people who didn’t know him he’d just walked off Wall Street, she didn’t know. This was the real Clay: all about horses and cattle and working the land. More comfortable on a green-broke horse than in a limo.
Around one o’clock, Clay reappeared and found his way to where she sat near a huge campfire. “How about some lunch?”
“Sounds good to me.”
They walked back to the chopper and Clay hoisted the woven basket Rose had prepared for them from the back.
“I wonder what Rose sent.”
“I don’t know but it will be delicious whatever it is,” she said.
“How about we go over there next to the river. I see a flat rock in the shade.”
“Perfect.”
The basket contained a variety of sandwiches, salads and several slices of apple pie for desert. “I’ll bet those treasure hunters you were talking about would have given anything to have had Rose in their corner.”
Clay chuckled. “No
doubt.”
The stillness of the day was not missed by Sophie. It was early enough in the year that the soaring heat of summer usually made trips such as this unbearable. But not today. In the far distance a bird sang to its mate, and cows bellowed their dislike at having their peaceful day interrupted. The water in the river ran over the stones and small boulders, giving a serene sound to the tranquil setting.
“Did you fly out and see a lot of the land before you bought it?”
“Somewhat. I didn’t have time to view all twenty-two thousand acres, but enough that I knew I wanted to invest. I’ve always been fascinated by the desert. Plus this parcel had the added benefit of the mountains covered in the ponderosa pines. The best of both worlds. I was lucky I found it.”
“That was back when you were still following the rodeo circuit?”
“Yeah. I wanted to build the barns and an arena and hold semiannual livestock shows and rodeos closer to the house.”
“You still can,” she said matter-of-factly, folding her sandwich bag and grabbing a piece of the pie. “You have the barn. All you need is the main arena.”
Clay nodded. “I may still do it someday. Right now I have to battle what’s going on in corporate America. That, I’ve learned, is a whole different world.”
“Well, I hope someday you pursue your dream.” She bit into the piece of apple pie. “It would be a shame if you don’t. You certainly earned it.” The instant she said it, she realized she wouldn’t be there to see it and that brought a wave of sadness that gripped her heart. She would be back in Indiana, teaching school or tutoring children to earn her way. That was if—big if—the local school officials would hire her after the barn-burning incident. It was a small community. Even smaller than Royal. People had a way of remembering everything.
“Sophie?”
“I’m here,” she said, forcing herself out of the sad thoughts and giving him what she hoped was a bright smile. “Just taking in everything I’ve seen today. It’s so massive an undertaking. So many cattle and cowboys.”