An edge of fear started to wedge its way into her mind, but she forced it away. She was just kissing a man. A man whose chest housed a heart of gold. A man who knew how to work hard, how to sacrifice, how to kiss a woman like he meant it.
He pulled away first this time, a smile already stuck to his face. “Yeah, okay, that had to be done before we go to lunch. But now we’re late.”
“Your fault,” she said. “We had time for my kiss.”
He laughed, the booming sound filling the cab. Against her will, she joined him, but her higher, more delicate laughter couldn’t match his. She didn’t even want it to. She reached over and tucked her hand in his, more content than she’d been in a long, long time.
He filled her in about Charlie and his girlfriend on the way to Amarillo, leaving Taryn to simply nod or agree in single-word sentences. Which she appreciated, but also didn’t, because it let her mind wander down dangerous roads. Dangerous roads that reminded her that she wasn’t ready for what came after kissing—and she didn’t know if she ever would be.
The next time Kenny came to pick her up, Taryn let him come to the door and knock. “Come in!” she called as she searched her jewelry box for the pair of earrings she needed to make her outfit come together. She found the fish and put them on as Kenny’s bootsteps stalled in her bedroom doorway.
“Hey, there.”
The simple sound of his voice made her heart leap and her smile instantly appear. “Hey, yourself.” She finished with her earrings and stepped into him for a kiss. He’d left her in her living room completely breathless on Thanksgiving evening. She hadn’t seen him since, and though it had only been two days, she felt like perhaps a lifetime had passed.
Maybe she was ready for a new life. A new life in Three Rivers. A new life with Kenny. She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind to deal with later. She’d met him a month ago; she certainly wouldn’t be making any long-term decisions right away.
But maybe you should, she thought, which made her freeze.
“What?” Kenny asked.
“Nothing,” she said quickly. Taryn certainly couldn’t tell him that maybe they should put both feet on the accelerator and see what happened. She ducked her head, embarrassed at her own idea, though a remote corner of her mind kept screaming at her to do something different than she’d done before. And she’d never spent less than two years dating a man before, well, before breaking up with him.
She stole a glance at Kenny, who seemed wrapped up in the artwork above her mantle. Taryn didn’t want to break up with him. But she also knew that relationships with men as magnetic and charismatic as Kenny only ended in one other way—heartbreak.
He’s worth it.
The thought didn’t seem to belong to her, but she listened to it anyway. As she led him downstairs to his truck, she realized that her heart hadn’t been broken when she ended things with Chris. No, her pride had been wounded. Her reputation called into question. But she hadn’t been heartbroken.
The distinction became important as she entered the chapel with Kenny on her arm, as the pastor started his sermon, as she realized that she’d run away from her own humiliation. Not from Chris. Not from her job. But from herself.
Taryn seemed to be lost inside her own head. When the pastor cracked a slight joke during his sermon, she didn’t even smile. Like she hadn’t even heard him. As the minutes passed, Kenny realized his assessment was spot-on. She wasn’t listening, but she seemed alert and tense, which meant she’d disappeared inside herself again.
Kenny let her drift, though he wished he could see inside her head and straighten everything out. Instead, he focused on what the pastor had to say the Sabbath after Thanksgiving.
“As we move into the season where we celebrate the birth of the Savior, let us remember how He lived, and strive to emulate Him in our own lives.”
Kenny found himself nodding along with most of the congregation. The pastor ended soon after, and he nudged Taryn toward the aisle. But she didn’t budge, being surprisingly strong for such a small woman.
“Kenny,” she said. “Can you come back to my place for a few minutes? I have something….” She swallowed so hard, it required every muscle in her neck to do it. “I have to show you something.”
Her anxiety bled into the air surrounding them, and Kenny found himself tensing as if he might be struck. “Sure,” he managed to say. “What’s up?”
“Just…something I’ve been thinking about.”
He couldn’t force himself to make trite conversation on the way back to her apartment, and she certainly didn’t contribute anything. Kenny flexed his fingers on the steering wheel and prayed for patience and strength and for the right reaction and words to say.
She unlocked her door and took a deep breath before entering. “Okay, so I just want you to know this is hard for me, but I was sitting there in church, and I had a feeling I needed to be brave and show you why I came to town.”
Kenny’s heart twisted, ached, at the sight of pure fear on Taryn’s face. He wanted to erase it and build a protective wall around her life so it could never come back. He drew her into his chest and wrapped her in his arms. “Whatever you want, Taryn.”
She breathed beside him, the rising and falling of her chest matching his. “Okay. I’m going to get it set up, but I can’t watch it again.”
Kenny’s throat felt like someone had poured sand into his mouth, like he was back in Qatar and couldn’t get away from the heat and granules and agony. He watched, mute, as she opened her laptop and clicked, typed, clicked again.
“So I left Corpus Christi several months ago,” she said, gesturing for him to take her place at the dining room table where she had her computer queued up. “This is why.”
He sat, but he didn’t look at the computer. “Taryn, I don’t really care why you left Corpus Christi.”
She graced him with a faint smile that barely touched her lips. “This is the twelfth town I’ve come to.” Another hard swallow. “But it’s the first where I actually want to stay. And the only way to do that is to show someone why I’ve been bouncing around for months.”
He glanced at the laptop. She’d opened a YouTube video and paused it. The screen sat black and waiting for him. His stomach squirmed like it used to before a mission, and he steeled himself for whatever he was about to see.
“I want you to stay in town too,” he said.
“You’re the reason I want to stay,” she whispered. “And that scares me more than anything. More than showing you this video. But at least then you’ll have a better idea of who I am.”
Kenny almost protested, but Taryn turned and left the room, closing her bedroom door behind her. A few moments later, the low beat of loud music shook the floor. Kenny faced the laptop like it was his target, something dangerous and to be feared.
He squared his shoulders and clicked the play button. Taryn appeared on the screen, her makeup and hair flawless, her smile bright, her words delivered with the practice and skill of someone who’d been on live TV for years. She was every bit the sophisticated professional he’d seen exit her apartment on Thanksgiving Day.
She ended the newscast, but the camera didn’t fade into a commercial. Her co-anchor, a man named Harry Herbert, grinned as if he’d won the lottery, and said, “We have one more thing tonight, Taryn.”
She maintained her professional smile, but Kenny saw the blip of panic in her eyes. “We do?”
Another man appeared on-set behind her, a tall, blond-haired man with blue diamond eyes. “Taryn Tucker.” She spun toward him, her practiced professionalism fading as the man got down on one knee.
“Chris,” she breathed, both hands pressing over her pulse. “What are you doing?” She shook her head, tiny little movements left and right that told Kenny she didn’t want him to propose. Anyone would’ve picked up on her cues.
But apparently not Chris. He proposed, and Taryn said no.
Right there on air.
Harry’s smile dr
opped. Chris looked at the camera with pain etched in his face. Taryn fled the set, and Harry closed the segment. The video faded to black.
Kenny sat back in his chair, his mind whirling through the three-minute video again. It didn’t take long for him to decide he didn’t care. He stood, the chair scraping loudly against the floor. His knock was answered with the music cutting off and Taryn opening the door.
“I don’t know who that woman was.” Kenny hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “But she isn’t you.” He inched into her personal space, pleased when she didn’t shuffle back. “I’m glad you showed me, because it does explain why you’ve been so hesitant with me.” He paused when she flinched like he’d flicked cold water in her face.
He backed up a couple of steps, enough for her to get out of her bedroom if she wanted to. “Talk to me.”
“I dated Chris for two years,” she said.
Kenny schooled his features into a mask of stone. He’d had many opportunities to keep his true feelings behind a solid wall. “So?”
“I…I have a hard time committing to someone.”
“It’s not like we’re going to get married anytime soon.” He crossed his arms. “We just met a month ago.”
“I like you,” she said.
He quirked one side of his mouth. “I like you, too.”
“I don’t want to be hesitant with you.”
“I don’t want you to be that way either.” He relaxed, stuffing his hands into his pockets instead. “But I’m okay with whatever you want. If you just want to hold hands and kiss me, that’s fine.”
She ducked her head. “What if I just want to be friends?”
“No.” Kenny didn’t mean for his voice to sound like a bark, but it did. He moved toward her and embraced her. “No, I don’t want to be just friends. I want to be your best friend, sure. The person who knows the most about you. Who can run to the store and get your favorite juice and that doughnut you like the most. But not just friends.” He touched his mouth to the spot just below her jaw. “I like kissing you too much for that.”
She tilted her head and kissed him. He felt something new in her kiss, something deeper, something more permanent. And he knew she didn’t want to be just friends either.
In fact, that was probably why she’d shown him the video. Kenny catalogued the information, the feelings, and then lost himself in Taryn’s kiss—something he wanted to do everyday of his life.
Taryn enjoyed her work more than she thought possible. It felt nice, easy, relaxing, to just show up, do her job, and go home. She didn’t have to be “on” all the time. She didn’t have to look perfect, act perfect, sound perfect. It was freeing to just be Taryn, not Taryn-Tucker-of-Channel-Nine-News.
Kenny had taken the video in stride, and she wondered now why she thought he wouldn’t. Everything he did he took in stride. The man was unflappable. It was as maddening as it was admirable.
“Hey there, gorgeous.” He leaned in the doorway to the barn, delicious-looking in his cowboy boots, dark jeans, leather jacket, and his trademark cowboy hat.
She smiled but went back to stroking Peony. She’d felt something with the horses, a connection she’d never imagined could exist between a horse and a human. She’d done a little research into the therapeutic riding facility housed at the ranch, and she had an appointment with Pete Marshall, the owner, that afternoon after she finished cleaning cabin three.
“I brought you something.” Kenny sidled up to her and held out a pastry bag.
“Kenny.” She stretched up and kissed him quick before taking the bag. “What is it?”
“You never did tell me what your favorite doughnut is. So I figured I’d buy one everyday until I landed on the right one.”
“You drove to town this morning?” She glanced inside the bag and pulled out an apple fritter. “For this?”
“Ah, so it’s not an apple fritter.” He swiped the pastry from her fingers and took a big bite. “Good, because I love these things.”
She laughed and reached for the fritter. “They’re not my favorite, but I don’t hate them.” She took a bite too, a moan stretching from her throat. “Oh, this is fantastic.”
“And I didn’t drive to town,” he said. “Miss Heidi is startin’ a bakery, and her pastry chef has been bringing samples to the ranch for weeks.”
“This is literally the best apple fritter I’ve ever eaten.”
“I’ll tell Grace. She’ll be happy.” Kenny smiled at Taryn, the gesture more than just movement. It carried adoration and desire, joy and genuine warmth.
“How are you so happy all the time?” She nudged his shoulder with hers and lifted one foot to the bottom rung of the fence.
“Is that a bad thing?” Kenny clasped his hands and let them hang over the railing into the horse stall. His voice sounded measured and even, and Taryn suspected she’d hit a nerve.
“Have other people said it’s a bad thing?”
“About every woman I’ve dated,” he said. “The last one said she didn’t want to go out with me again, because it was too hard to see me so happy when she wasn’t. Said she actually felt guilty when she got home.”
Taryn blinked at him, at the stoic expression on his face, at the way he stared down Peony like she was an enemy. Laughter pooled in her stomach and bubbled up through her throat.
“So that’s funny to you, huh?” He kicked a smile in her direction.
“A little, yeah. You must not have kissed that other woman.”
“Never made it that far, no.”
Taryn linked her arm through his and pressed in close. “Good. Because if you had, she wouldn’t care how happy you were. She’d just be thinking about the next time she could kiss you.”
“So you’re saying you can put up with my joviality because I’m a good kisser?” He peered down at her, that cowboy hat casting them both in shadows.
“You are a great kisser.” She maneuvered into his arms, relieved when he held her tight and close, the way he always did. “And I like your joviality. It makes me think that I can be that happy one day too.”
He kissed her forehead, his cowboy hat getting dislodged. He swiped it off to reveal his sandy hair. She traced her fingers along his ears and behind his neck. He touched his lips to the tip of her nose. “Why aren’t you?”
Such a simple question, with such a complicated answer. As she thought about it, Taryn realized that happiness was a choice. That she didn’t have to let the things from her past haunt her forever.
“I’m trying to be,” she finally said. “I’m going to see Pete this afternoon. Maybe I’ll be a cowboy like you.”
“I like you just how you are.” He beamed down at her and then kissed her. As she relaxed into his touch and deepened the kiss, Taryn recognized a definite vein of happiness threading through her.
She knew what she wanted. For the first time in a long time, she knew she wanted to live in Three Rivers. She wanted to spend as much time as possible with Kenny Stockton. She wanted to be happy with Kenny, in Three Rivers.
Is that possible? she asked as Kenny led her up to the hayloft so they could eat lunch.
A distinct lesson from her childhood struck her full in the chest. With God, anything is possible.
Kenny enjoyed his hour-long lunch more over the next couple of weeks than he ever had. Peanut butter and raspberry jam had never tasted so sweet, especially when it was what Taryn packed and he just got to taste it on her lips.
He spent his afternoons whistling and reliving the passionate kisses he shared with Taryn in the privacy of the hayloft. With two weeks until Christmas, he began to stew about what he should get her for Christmas.
They were exclusive, that was certain. He was falling fast for her. Also certain. She seemed to enjoy his company as well, and she melted like butter over an open flame every time he touched her. He felt certain the feelings between them were mutual.
He’d actually started dreaming in diamonds, but he wouldn’t be asking Taryn to marry hi
m for Christmas. The very idea would drive her to another town in the dead of night. He also knew that for certain.
He could be patient. At least he told himself he could. Seeing her and kissing her five days a week helped. Six if he could get into town on Saturdays. But he never saw her on Fridays, so he put his head down, ate lunch alone in his cabin to avoid the ribbing by the other boys, and passed the hours until he could call Taryn and be soothed by her pretty little voice.
Near quittin’ time on Friday, Kenny suddenly thought of the perfect gift for Taryn. His pace increased to get the animals fed for the evening so he could head into town and meet with his friend and travel agent, Jeremy Thacker.
Taryn loved to travel. Had done a bunch for her job, but he wanted this trip to be pure pleasure for her. They’d talked about her family, and his, and where she’d like to visit, and where he would, and Kenny practically burst with happiness at his plan.
Kitty Hawk, he recited as he threw hay and slopped water into troughs. He headed over to the administration trailer to check out with either Garth or Lawrence, the controller.
When he opened the door, he practically ran into the back of an older gentleman. The man stood in front of Lawrence’s empty desk, holding his phone in one hand like he expected it to go off at any moment.
“Hey,” Kenny said. “Has someone helped you?” This man had clearly never stepped foot on a ranch. He wouldn’t be wearing leather shoes shinier than the sun if he had.
“I’m looking for someone,” he said, his deep voice commanding respect with only a few words.
“Is Lawrence helpin’ you find them, or…?”
The man slid his appraising gaze from Kenny’s cowboy hat to his cowboy boots. “Not yet.”
“Maybe I can help you. Who you lookin’ for?”
The man sighed like Kenny wasn’t worthy of his attention. “I was told there’s a woman here who cleans the cabins. Taryn Tucker?”
Alarms blared in Kenny’s head. This man hadn’t been on the video. He wasn’t the co-anchor or the ex-boyfriend. So who was he?
Christmas in Three Rivers: Three Rivers Ranch Romance Novella Collection Page 23