THE HEALING HEART

by Zelda Clemens

  Sure, some things had been touched on, mentioned, like both Cash and Andy divulging that with this whole venture, neither one of them had any interest in each other like that—it just didn’t bother them if the other was there. They were that close. Well, I didn’t have any idea how to handle the situation but here I was in my cherry dress feeling like I was figuring it out.

  “This is so great,” I sighed. “Just finally being here. I love this park, I love this city, and I love you guys, and I love our new place!”

  Cash asked, “Yeah, pretty sweet isn’t it? As sweet as life right now. I’m glad you like it, Holly. I was so worried you’d just hate it or something!” The sun’s light was turning from day to afternoon.

  “Let’s go home right now and soak up the place,” I suggested, “have some more wine.”

  “I’m game,” Andy said, looking rosy cheeked and more contented than I’d ever seen him, almost dreamy-eyed. It was hitting all of us. That we were here.

  *****

  Things began to heat up in the car ride with all three of us in the back. I was eating up what felt like the most fun night of my life, just the sheer overwhelming feeling of love and open possibilities was intoxicating.

  “What are we going to do tonight?” I said in the most tantalizing, smiling way, placing both hands on their legs boldly.

  They both floundered and barely made out, “I don’t know.” I guess they were waiting to see what I was going to do.

  Walking through our new ebony mahogany double-leaf doors leading to our 17-foot foyer, I felt like a princess of my castle. I strolled into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of wine, eyeing it and handing it to Cash, closely between our chests in an almost embrace, and near to his face asking if he’d like to open our first house bottle. He had this look of pleasure and contentment on his face, anticipation in there somewhere, wonder, and he only smiled.

  I was off to my bedroom, scoring the large master as the woman and with the most belongings and need for closet space, which I was now in no shortage of. I touched up my makeup just a bit, I don’t wear much, just a light bit of color, and took note of how wonderfully sweet and sultry my hair was turning out to be for the evening.

  I stepped out to our living room. The three of us stood for a toast which Andy proclaimed, “To us”, and we all agreed with saying so, “to us.”

  Andrew put on some light French music, sophisticated, relaxing, and romantic. We walked out to our 2500 square foot terrace and lounged, soaking up all of that good New York City vibe feeling. I decided not to be shy and sat on Cash’s lap. He blushed, but he was so happy that I did, so happy to be close. We were like high school kids on a first date or something! The guys were talking about how they were going to make their first millions and I was happy Holly, just enjoying a warm summer breeze at sunset amidst my darling life.

  After hopping up to visit the girl’s room, I returned and this time sat on Andrew’s lap. What a sweetheart, I love him so much. This whole new idea of getting closer to him was really quite touching and I felt thankful. He hugged me and kept me close. We all felt grateful, truly on top of the world. I let them chat and occasionally softly ran my hand on his face, exploring his sweet cheek and chin, or caressing and holding his hand.

  “I love you guys,” I said sappily against a pinking sky. Andy tightened his squeeze.

  Cash spoke. “Holly, you’re the sweetest thing. You’re the best, babe.”

  Our first night went on this way with gushing and chatting and loving and squeezing. The three of us were just basking in the glory of what we had formed after all these years without even knowing it, or trying. We could have gone on as friends, or moved on to seek out other things in life, but instead we took something so rich with goodness that we’d cultivated and lived in and allowed it to blossom. We were in awe of the fact that we were even here and all of us were just loving every minute of it and each other.

  In the morning I made breakfast for us all and we lounged around in robes, talking about how to decorate the place. We were gifted with an exquisite all-white suite that was quite elegant and sexy, but I had blues and golds dancing around in my dreamy head.

  We thought to take it up a notch and fancy up the place. Andrew said he’d have someone come over and show us some options, a designer friend of his. He was busy, though, in getting in with this law firm and so was off to work right away, but looking sexy as hell doing it. Cash was into the thick of it right away, too, down to take on the world. It wasn’t long before the random calls would come in where he’d just hoot and yell all of a sudden and then saunter over, grinning, to announce a multi-million dollar deal. The boys were rolling in success in no time and I was all about town just as quick.

  It didn’t take long for me to discover a few favorite cafes, but what I really loved was that New York is filled with so many choices. Things always felt new to me if I looked hard enough or went exploring in a different direction. I kept myself on a pretty keen schedule between jogging, shopping, Pilates, shopping, and other forms of working out and shopping.

  And then there was mom. One of the best parts about moving to the city was that mother lived here and I had only seen her on visits for the last three years since she moved for work. We would meet up quite regularly for lunch, tea, gallery perusing, openings and events, and you name it. It was great fun all except she flat out refused to go shopping with me, something about putting her time in already in years past.

  The best part was that she eventually did stop pestering and prodding me about Cash and Andy. I made the mistake early on of being honest with her and she pretty much flipped out. But after some time, she came to see the idea as more casual as I did, and what might almost be called acceptance seeped in. It was a good thing because I couldn’t stand choosing if I had to.

  In that way we had all been blessed to have all of our parents come to terms with our decision. We joked that they all probably figured it was a phase that would blow up eventually, but we knew we had something more special.

  It wasn’t long before Cash proclaimed we were going out for a celebration dinner and said he’d have a car around that evening at 7. It was about 11 in the morning when I’d gotten that message and so off I went to shop for something new and special to wear. We were going to one of the city’s finest restaurants and hotspots, Restaurant Daniel.

  My jaw dropped in the dressing room when I put on this one gown, a Carolina Herrera silk tuxedo gown. The all-black gown was pure silk, a sleeveless halter, accented with satin lapels and trim, and featured a train at the back hem. Divine, and exactly what I was looking for.

  *****

  We would all be arriving separately but I had a feeling the guys would have already arrived. To my surprise I was told no one had. I was escorted to our table, which was nestled in an obviously specially reserved spot, a quite sophisticated and sexy Venetian tented enclave. I sat happily and started a glass of wine, admiring the fresh flowers for only a few moments in anticipation before hearing the familiar suave voice of Cash ring out before it neared. Both men entered our little tented area.

  I rose to kiss them, “Quite the table, hotshot,” I said as I greeted Cash.

  “You look absolutely stunning,” he said and pulled my hand up to half twirl me to each side to admire my gown. “You look like you own the town, and I feel like we’re starting to!” he said, full of himself just slightly.

  Andy just stood smiling waiting for a turn to greet me properly. He kissed me on the cheek and whispered into my ear, “You look fucking hot.”

  “You are a sweetheart,” I replied almost bashfully before regaining confidence, “and one of the luckiest,” and touched his chin and smiled.

  I have to admit I knew I was a knockout, the lipstick didn’t hurt either. We had the most decadent feast and loved our table. It was on that first night there that we decided that would be one of ‘our spots’, and since then it surely has been. It wasn’t just the fine food that made it so memorable, though.
Something about how ecstatic Cash was to have landed this deal, coupled with Andrew’s latest win gave them a surge allowing them to throw back and indulge. That and the wine gave way to our most sensual evening yet as a triad.

  The conversation teetered between business, comedy and sex all night.

  “You know what I’m wondering,” Andy said swirling wine in his glass. “Who gets the first kiss?” This was completely off topic which went perfectly along with how our conversations were going. I put my head in my hands with elbows on the table and gazed dreamily at the thought of it. He glanced at Cash and back at me and back at his wine.

  “Hmm,” Cash thought, “I’m ready.” We laughed.

  “I’m ready,” Andy made sure to speak up. And almost comically they turned to me. I broke from my gaze and sat up to think, looking sensationally kissable.

  “Should I have to choose?” I said, pouting.

  Cash reached into his pocket, “Let’s flip,” he said with a rising gleam in his eye staring down Andrew like it was some sort of competition.

  Andy leaned in ready to step up to the challenge and spoke, “We have to. Tails.”

  “What?!” I said. “Has it come to this?” And let a big sexy grin come across my face feeling so ready to touch lips with my lovers.

  “Is that okay?” Cash said, genuinely giving me the right to object. I wet my lips nervously and nodded slowly thinking of what was to come next. We had to face it. The reason we had been together for this long and even through living together and hadn’t done anything sexual at all was because of the ‘who’s first’ factor. It was time to go all in.

  He flicked the coin up and I put my hands over my eyes and smiled. “Oh!” I heard them both laugh and when Andy said, “I should’ve known” I knew the coin had fallen heads.

  I moved my hands. Cash sat quite close to me already but I took over, Holly-style, and after a deep breath slowly stood up. I walked over to Cash like a cat, slow and with tigress intent. Ever so slowly I bent down until I was at a sharp angle at him and stroked my nail from his neck to his chin and lips as I neared. Continuing in slow motion, I let my soft, ready lips touch his, which were so much softer than I imagined they would be.

  We kissed. It was a soft kiss, and another, and another, and our mouths opening for what our hearts desired, and another, and I licked his lips like a lady-cat lover wanting more. Just like that, I was backing away and he opened his eyes, bringing his hand down on the table hard and letting out, “Dear God, take me home now.”

  I smiled and strolled, flirting around with the tips of my fingers on the tops of the chairs and walked around to the other side of the table meeting eyes with my other lover. Andrew’s blue eyes were smiling more than his mouth and his face had turned pink as I neared.

  Cash was still remarking in shock and getting all hot but now it was Andy’s turn. I motioned for him to pull his chair out a little and sat myself across his lap. Gently and slowly caressing his chest on the way up to his neck I softly pulled him in closer, sitting up completely straight, and brushed his cheek to chin towards mine as our lips met lovingly where they wanted to. We were romantically turned sort of sideways, and he put his hand around the top of my waist holding me.

  Our lips just locked and savored and kissed and devoured for a moment, my other hand instinctively found it’s way to brushing across his pants in that moment and discovered we were both so hot for each other. I stood up, almost dizzy and jokingly shook off, trying to breathe for a moment, making my way back to my seat but only to stand.

  I reached for my glass and as Andy pawed at his pants joking that he was trying to keep it together, I raised my wine glass and said, “To us.” Both fellows managed to get hold of their glasses and oh, so agreed, “To us.”

  *****

  The weeks of fading summer would seem to have no end, and the three of us each found balance within our home, the city, and ourselves. We all stayed busy but found times at home relaxing, indulging in sharing gourmet meals. Times out were fun-filled, exciting and fanciful. The physical side of our relationship had become somewhat of a game, each of us quenching what pent up desires had been buried deep within our creative and wanting souls.

  Depending on where we were or what we were doing, there were opportunities for pleasurable fun, and I was the self-proclaimed leader in this dance. It worked out this way. I loved to put on a show and set them afire in surprising little ways and they loved it.

  Both Cash and Andy surprisingly agreed to humor me and join me for dancing lessons. Once a week I went, and they alternated weeks as my partner. It was Cash’s week when I showed up in a cute little short light pink and black short-sleeved Fendi jacquard-style dress with a point collar, inverted skirt pleats and piping detail along the cuffs, bodice and hem. It was a dream dress for a dancing doll and I rocked some embellished silver heels with the look.

  Super short and sexy, we had fun on the floor as usual but it was the after where we both knew we just couldn’t stand it any longer and had to find an empty dressing room to get all over each other in some kind of way.

  Our days went on like this and no one was jealous and no one was left out: balance. Sure we got questions and comments from outsiders here and there, but most of them were just in awe of what we had going on and we kept our private matters untouchable. Actually, the lot of us were quite shocking in just that we didn’t hide what we were, but didn’t flaunt it either. Anyone who came to know us quickly saw how natural the whole thing was and couldn’t see us any other way more than we ourselves could not.

  It was winter when Andrew was invited to a big party and was expected to bring his significant other. This was our first big date out somewhere. I felt we would be in the spotlight, but as the night went on laughter and honesty and love led us to nothing but a perfect evening. Eventually by word of mouth, and us making the rounds meeting people, folks did want to know who the lady was with the two fellows, but before they even knew to wonder that, they wanted to know who was the lady in the red dress.

  The gown I wore to this occasion was just stunning, a gorgeous bright red Zac Posen silk faille strapless gown with a sweetheart neckline and shape-enhancing effect heightened by a sweeping full hem. Honestly, I felt that in a gown like this, it was only right to have a man on each arm! It was a delightful evening and good practice at us being us out, which we are somehow great at, and managed to also have fun doing it.

  By the next summer we were nearing our first year living our new life and had become quite good at it. I was happy to have the house to myself most days, though I rarely stayed in, except for once a month.

  As it turned out I developed a bit of a ritual. When I had my time of the month come around, since I didn’t have any work obligations I set aside this time for myself and didn’t make any plans. I would literally stock the fridge and stay in and watch movies for a few days. Occasionally it would happen I was off a day and had to cancel lunch with mom, but for the most part I was pretty good at predicting and freed myself up to lay around and be resting womanly-me for the time being. It only took a first day of this for the guys to get the message I was on my ‘vacation’ as they called it.

  One day that summer Cash called me and asked if I was ‘back from vacation’ yet, I told him that yes, I just was. He said that he and Andrew had been planning a little something for me and if I was okay with it they were going to take me away for a couple of days. Andrew was picking up a new car just for the occasion. Of course I agreed and went to pack a little bag and spruce up.

  Midday, they came in to grab some things and we all piled into this hot white convertible Porsche with Andy at the wheel and I took the front. DI wore a super short and short-sleeved belted silk dress, black with a tropical infused print in yellows, oranges, reds and whites, and sunglasses. It was good to go for a drive, and good to get out of the city.

  We drove to a beautiful cottage in the Hamptons where we stayed for a whole week and took walks on the beach, dined al fresco and swam
in the pool. They guys put their heads together and arranged a few extras like our own personal chef preparing meals, a butler, a helicopter ride over the ocean, and our own private shark dive. I remember feeling so thankful with every moment and telling them both so. Thanking them for doing so good and being so good and for taking such good care of me and loving me.

  On one of the nights there was the first time that I felt a bit torn, though. I wanted to be so close to both of them and didn’t want to pull away from either of them. I asked if they’d just both sleep with me that night and they said okay, neither of them wanting to let me go either. Respectfully and in love.we lay and even did sleep.

  What a glorious morning it was waking up to the ocean waves and sunlight with these two sleeping angels so by me. My heart was made to love this much, loving the two of them is so easy.

  Back home, we had more nights like this but not all the time, just when I made a point with a true special request, but it became not unheard of, especially after parties or nights out at clubs where were stumbling in and I’d just pull them both to my bed. There was one night like this after a wild night at Bungalow 8 where I was just asking for it wearing this A.L.C. Mercier dress, a short black bodycon knit dress, off the shoulders with a straight neckline and short sleeves. At the club it was just fun to wear, in the car I realized I’d been noticed more than I thought, and back at the house I realized I felt like quite a fox in it—or tiger rather.

  I had the boys where I wanted them and they were each like wolves that night, hungry like I’d been starving them. I hadn’t realized how much it must have teased them all night but once I knew I gave them both the show they were after and gave myself all of what I wanted. There were only beams of light let in from the street here and there and the darkness made it all that more allowable for me to show off to them and take and give respectively how we all wanted. They wanted me happy and I was in heaven.