by Renee Dyer
“You’ll be fine. You’re a professional. We all have to get over that hump at some point,” I say nonchalantly, and walk off. I rush to the bathroom to douse my face in cold water. I feel nauseous envisioning Tucker’s hands and lips on her body. I know the tricks we use to make these scenes look real for the camera, but I also know what we can’t fake.
My stomach rolls with unease and the breakfast I enjoyed earlier decides to make a reappearance. I race for one of the stalls and barely drop to my knees before the retching begins.
My swagger went down the toilet along with my breakfast and I’m struggling to get through my scenes. It doesn’t help any time I see Cammie around Tucker. I’m only reminded of her telling me their first sex scene is coming up. I may call out sick Monday. I’m definitely feeling sick watching them with their clothes on. I can’t imagine how I’ll handle…oh, God, I can’t even go there.
Now, I’m standing on the sidelines with clenched fists, watching Eddie and Tucker walk Cammie out of the studio. Tucker has his arm around her and he’s eyeing her like she’s his next meal.
I want to kill him.
I don’t know where they’re taking her, but what I do know is if they touch her, I’ll rip them to fucking shreds. They better not do anything to take away her innocence or there will be no stopping the hell I’ll unleash. Just because I can’t be friends with her doesn’t mean I won’t protect her with everything I have.
My shoulder blades start to itch and the hairs on my neck raise. I turn, feeling eyes on me. Victoria is staring at me with a smirk on her face. Her dark eyes are full of malice as she nods at the door Cammie just disappeared through with the asshats—the same door I was burning a hole through with my eyes moments ago.
She’s enjoying my aggravation.
I want to tell her I don’t give a shit that Cammie left with them. That I don’t care where they went or what they’re doing, but I don’t think I could pull off the lie. I’m too pissed to hide it, too raw and ready to explode. If that little corner of my heart hadn’t cared for Victoria, I’d march up to her now and tell her she’s a double dong slut just to wipe that smirk off her face, but I’m done calling her out for sleeping with Tucker and me at the same time. She doesn’t need me to break her down in order to help build her back up anymore. She’s learning to fight back on her own now.
Turning away from her, I decide to head to the break room until I’m needed. I figure I can put my head on the table or something, close my eyes, and try to calm the hell down. I just need to be where I can’t see Cammie or should I say, where I can’t see Cammie and Tucker.
Fuck!
Purging her from my life is turning out to be harder than I thought.
A hand runs across my shoulder and I feel hot breath across my ear. My body instantly tenses at the contact. I don’t open my eyes or turn around to see who’s behind me. I make no attempt to get up from the chair or lift my head.
“Get your fucking hand off me now.” My voice is filled with a veiled threat of violence.
“Come now, lover. You know I can touch you whenever I wish.”
His voice slices through the air, igniting my fury. I lunge from my seat, forcing his hand to fly off my body. I rail around until I’m facing him and my fists clench at my sides. He must see the anger emanating off me because he backs up a step.
“Today is not the day to fuck with me.”
“Being a bit dramatic, are we?” he asks, only infuriating me further. “What’s got your panties in a bunch? Why don’t you let me help you un-bunch them?” He smirks that damn smirk that makes my gut clench and reaches for me.
Instinct kicks in and I slap his hand away. Annoyance flares in his eyes and I take it as a challenge. “I will not warn you again to keep your goddamn hands off me.”
He doesn’t seem fazed by my outburst. He lightly chuckles and takes a step toward me. “Did you forget our deal, lover?” He holds his head high, his body tall, daring me to defy him.
“Today, I don’t give a shit about our deal. Is there something you can’t seem to understand about that? If you try to enforce it, try to bribe me with your little video, I can promise you’ll be going home to your pretty wife Emma in a bag. And I don’t mean your dick wrapped in a condom. You feeling me now, lover?”
I throw his pet name back in his face and wait for him to make his move. It’s a real life chess match with him and I feel like he’s constantly calling “checkmate”. Just now, I’ve taken out the king and it feels good.
“We’ll revisit our deal later.”
“Whatever you say, Davyd,” I say, giving the finger to his retreating back.
His demise is coming soon and it will be at my hands. How I long to watch the life leave his eyes and know I took the smugness from his face. His reign of torment over me is coming to an end and today was just the beginning.
Chapter Twenty Five
Grant
What a fucking day. Can anything else kick me in the junk? I mean, seriously? Wasn’t pushing Cammie away this morning enough? Then, having a duel with Davyd really has my mind tweaking. I don’t know which problem to wrap my shit around. I don’t see either of them leaving me alone.
I wish one would drop the fuck dead and the other would understand I am no good. But, I learned a long time ago that wishes don’t come true.
Kicking myself in the ass, I finish off the coffee I’ve been sipping and throw the cup away. I start to leave the break room with plans to head back to the set when a commotion grabs my attention. Eddie is yelling for everyone to go home. Something about us having the rest of the day off and I can hear someone crying.
What the hell is going on?
I step into the hallway and a body collides into me. Arms go around my waist as I hear, “Cammie, it isn’t your fault.”
I look down and Cammie is wrapped around me, wracking sobs violently shaking her body. Heavy footfalls coming toward me and I peer up to see Eddie barreling toward us. I’m frozen between her arms around me and the look of rage on his face. I’m completely confused.
I’ve made no attempt to comfort her and it dawns on me that I’m standing here, letting her cry against me, while I stand as still as a pillar. What an asshole I’m being. Shock made me inept at handling the situation. It’s still making me inept.
I hesitantly bring my arms around her back and loosely hold onto her as Eddie steps up to us. I stare into his eyes, begging him to explain what is going on. He shakes his head, telling me it isn’t his story to tell.
Where the hell is Tucker? They all left together and only Cammie and Eddie are here now. What did he do to her?
My body starts to vibrate with a hatred so intense, I’m afraid I’m going to spontaneously self-combust. What did he do to my buttercup?
I pull her away from me and hold her at arm’s length. Her face is red and blotchy, her eyes swollen. Her makeup is running down her face and yet, I find her beautiful. I have to shake off the emotions coursing through me so I can get to the truth.
“Where’s Tucker, Cammie? What did he do to you?”
She starts crying harder and a blinding rage takes over. I drop my hands from her arms and turn to Eddie. I don’t care that Tucker is his best friend. I don’t care that Eddie can fire me. I don’t even care about my revenge. He hurt her.
I’m going to kill him.
“Where is Tucker and what the fuck did he do to her?” I spit my words at Eddie.
“Calm down, Grant. You have the wrong idea here.”
“Do I? I see a girl here, crying her eyes out. Three of you left and only two of you came back. I mention Tucker and she starts crying harder. You tell me what I’m supposed to think.”
“I understand it looks bad, but I promise you, it’s not what you’re thinking.” He holds his hands up in a placating gesture, but all it does is piss me off more.
“Of course you’d say that. He’s your best friend. Where is he?” I ask again.
Eddie’s phone rings. He looks at i
t and holds a finger up to me. The fuck? He’s seriously blowing me off for a call right now?
“Tuck, tell me you found her.” Silence. I can only assume the asshole is telling him about whomever she is. “Yeah, yeah, man, I can get you that video.” More silence. Video? What the fuck is going on? “I’m with Cammie right now. So is Grant. We’ll help calm her down. Don’t worry, Tuck. She’ll be okay.” Silence again. So he does know what’s going on with Cammie. Just like I thought. “I’ll have the video to you in five to ten. Good luck, man.”
Eddie hangs up and stares at me. I can see him contemplating something. Finally, he sighs and runs his hand down his face. “Can you stay with her for a few minutes until I get back? There’s something that needs to be cleared up. It will help Cammie, too.”
I think he adds in the last part because he can see me giving him the what the fuck game are you playing look. I nod and he walks over to Cammie. He whispers something to her and then walks away.
I finally look at her, really examine her. Her shirt is disheveled. The buttons aren’t matched up correctly. Her hair is out of sorts and her lips…her lips are swollen. My heart plummets from my chest. I wouldn’t take her virginity, so she decided to let another man take it…possibly two. And now, I’m expected to comfort her.
I feel like getting sick again.
“His girlfriend walked in,” she whispers.
“What?” I ask, not really sure what she said.
“Adriana. Tucker’s girlfriend. She walked in on us.” She starts crying again.
That son of a bitch went after Cammie when he has a girlfriend? “Ahh!” I scream and with no thought at all, throw my fist through a window of the break room.
“Grant! Oh my God! Are you okay? Are you bleeding?”
She’s trying to examine my hand, but I’m so beyond angry I can’t feel pain or anything else. She fucked Tucker. TUCKER! The person who has taken everything else in my life took Cammie, too. I want to scream, to cry, to disappear into the floor. I just want to stop feeling the ache that has taken up residence in my heart.
A smashing sound reverberates all around me as I punch my other hand through another window. I want to destroy everything in my path until this pain goes away or until I find Tucker and smash his skull into nothingness.
“Grant, stop! Why are you doing this?”
I look at her, at the tears streaming down her face. I want to cry, too. I want to cry for all I’ve lost. I want to cry for all I can’t have and I want to cry for what she gave away today.
“How could you fuck Tucker? Tucker? Was it to punish me because I turned you away? Were you trying to hurt me, Cammie? If that was your goal, then congratulations, you win.”
I turn around and start walking away from her. I can’t watch as it sinks in that I care about her.
“I didn’t fuck Tucker or anyone else, for that matter. The only person I ever even came close with is you.”
I turn around so fast, I almost knock her over. I hadn’t realized she was following me. So consumed in my thoughts, I wasn’t paying attention to the sound of her voice.
“You said his girlfriend walked in on you.”
She gives me a weak smile and shakes her head like I should know better than to doubt her. “She did. She walked in on us practicing our intimacy scene and assumed Tucker was cheating on her. She took off and now he’s out there looking for her.”
“But you were so upset.” I’m confused by her reaction and Eddie sending the crew home.
“I thought I was responsible for my friend and his girlfriend breaking up. Of course I was upset. He loves her. I don’t ever want to be the one that comes between that. The look on his face when she ran out…he was devastated. I’m sure it’s how I felt when you stopped being my friend.”
Ouch. I keep saying I won’t let her get to me, but she does.
“Cammie, I—”
“Don’t. Please, Grant. Don’t tell me all the reasons you’re bad for me. I know all the reasons you’re not. I trust my gut and I miss my friend. Can we go get your hands cleaned up now?”
I just nod at her because I don’t know what else to say. She’s not going to let me push her away and I don’t know that I want to anymore.
We walk into the break room and I wince at all the glass on the floor. Eddie is going to be pissed when he sees what I did. He’ll be more pissed when he finds out why. Oh well, guess I’ll offer to pay for them and see if that smoothes everything over.
My hands aren’t too bad. Nothing that requires a hospital visit or stitches. After cleaning me up and bandaging a couple cuts that are a little deeper, Cammie and I set to work on picking up the glass. Eddie walks in while we’re mid-clean. I wait for the screaming to start, but instead, he asks Cammie how she’s doing. She says she’s better thanks to me and he nods in my direction and walks from the room. Maybe he’s waiting to talk about it when she’s not around.
“I’ve been missing movie night,” Cammie says. “I just happen to have the rest of today off if you’re not busy.”
“Your place or mine?” I ask before I can think through whether this is a good idea or not.
“Yours. You have a bigger TV and your couch is way more comfortable.”
I smile. This is the Cammie that makes being friends so easy. “Why don’t you head to my place and I’ll go pick up something for us from Joe’s. I’ll call ahead and tell the guy at the desk to let you go in.”
Her returning smile makes me feel like my world has just been made right.
I make sure Cammie is in a cab and head back inside to talk to Eddie before I leave. I want him to know I’ll pay for the damages. He tells me he knows I would, but not to worry about it. Taking care of Cammie was more than enough. I head for Joe’s with a lightness to my step I can’t remember ever feeling. I may not be a fan of Eddie Carmichael, but I’m glad Cammie has him for a friend.
There’s Something About Joe’s is packed, as usual, so the cab driver struggles to find a parking spot. I tell him to drop me off a road up and I’ll walk from there. I even give him a bigger tip than I normally would. I’m feeling…I don’t know what the feeling is, but I hope it sticks around for a while. I don’t have the urge to hurt anyone and I feel positive. I just want to get lunch and head home to spend time with my buttercup.
Walking down the sidewalk, I window shop, which is something I never do. Normally when I walk these streets, I’m watching Tucker or someone who can get me information on him. I never take the time to enjoy what Vancouver has to offer. But now, I want to see what’s here, see where I can bring Cammie for day outings, and nighttime fun, too. I can’t believe I ever thought it was a good idea to kick her out of my life.
I’m passing the alley between a dress shop and Joe’s when I see…was that? It couldn’t be. Curiosity gets the better of me and I turn around and head down the alley. Sure enough, Victoria is standing against the building, looking like she’s just been spooked. I know I’m the last person she would want to come to her rescue, but I don’t see anyone else swooping in.
“You alright, Vic?”
Her eyes fly open and she glares at me. If looks could kill…
“What are you doing here, Grant?”
“I was just walking by and saw you here. You looked like something had you on the run so I thought I should see whether you were okay.”
“And since when do you give a shit about me?”
Touché
“Guess you’re fine, so I’ll leave you be,” I say as I start to turn away.
“What did I ever do to you? Why did I deserve what you did to me?”
My shoulders slump. So much for the good day I was starting to have. “Nothing. You did nothing, Vic. You didn’t deserve any of it.” I try to walk away again.
“Then, why?” I hear the hatred in her tone and I can’t explain it, but it hurts knowing she hates me. I may have gotten angry at her, at her weakness for Tucker, but I cared for her and I still do. I want to see her succeed in life.
I turn to face her.
“Because, you deserved better than what he was giving you and I wanted you to open your eyes. You’re a strong woman who he made weak. You’re beautiful, but he turned you into an accessory. You should never be an accessory. You stand out on your own. And because I hate him. I wanted to take you from him. I was selfish and used you to knock that prick off his pedestal. You want the truth, there it is.”
“I loved you. You know that, right? And you never cared about me. You just let me think you did. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”
I want to let her continue believing that I never cared in any way, but Cammie has changed me. The old me would squash any hope she ever had, leave her feeling nothing but anguish, but the man I’m becoming can’t do that to the people I care for. I need her to know that although I never loved her, I did care. I still do.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Vic. I did care for you. I still care what happens to you. I’m sorry I didn’t love you and I’m sorry for what you went through. Had I met you in a different time in my life, I think things would have been very different between us. I think we would have been friends.”
“If you really felt that way then why did you hurt me so much?” Her eyes are misting over and I hate that I’m hurting her again.
“I needed to take down Tucker more than I needed to spare your feelings. He needed to learn that you were not a suit to be pulled from the closet when there were functions and showed off at will.”
“How do you think you’re any better?” she hisses.
“I don’t, but I see that I’m a bastard. I’m sorry, Vic. I really am. I’m sorry that you fell in love with me and I’m sorry I couldn’t love you back. I’m sorry you got hurt. You never deserved any of this. If it means anything, I’m glad you found Joe. He’s a great friend.”