“Yeah, it could be,” I agree, shaking my head. “But it won’t.”
I stand up, and she does the same, before I cup her sweet, naïve face. “I hope for more for you, though. That you’re loved to the fullest by a good man.”
“A Patchwork man.”
“Well, of course,” I laugh, because what other choice does she have?
“Unless you change the laws,” she offers. Well, that is one choice. I let my hands fall as she says, “You could tell Taegan to wait, change them, and then marry her.”
I can’t help but laugh. As much as I would love for that to happen, it won’t. War. War would break out. “That would cause an insurgence.”
“Or it would cause peace.”
Which is also an option, one I could pray for all day, but there is no certainty. “I don’t know. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
I turn, ready to leave to allow her to stew, maybe come to me later. But before I reach the door, she says, “But what if I do want to be with someone else? A wolf, a shifter, a vampire, a one-eyed purple monster, will you stop me?”
I pause at the door, my heart dropping. I don’t know what she is thinking, but this shifter in the bastille is dangerous and could kill her. I have to ward her off from him. Convince her that he would never be anything to her, no matter how much she cares for him. Clearing my throat, I admit, “I wouldn’t want to.”
“But you would.”
“I would.”
“No matter how much that breaks my heart?”
“We have to do what is right, what is expected of this family, Rebekah, and that’s following the rules. Don’t forget that. Though, you do constantly.”
Grinning, I’m sure everything I said doesn’t matter. When she has her mind set, she’ll do what she wants. “I do.”
Just as I expected. I want more for my sister, but like my father has told me every time, changing that rule may not work. I wish I could be carefree and dream like Rebekah, think such a move would cause peace, but I don’t know. Holding my sister’s gorgeous gaze, I smile. “Be good, Rebekah.”
“Never,” she calls to me, and I laugh as I walk out, running right into Cyrus as JJ walks past us.
“I didn’t tell anyone else,” he whispers to me, and I nod.
“Good. She didn’t give me anything, except about Christiana.”
“Which she hadn’t given me,” he adds, and I bite into my lips.
“We’ll sit on this, wait,” I decide, and Cyrus agrees just as Rebekah cries out.
Cyrus is moving before I do, his voice booming through the room. “Let her go!”
When I enter the room, I see JJ holding Rebekah under her arm, his grip tight as his eyes are full of anger. “What’s going on?” I ask as JJ lets her go, and she rushes to Cyrus’s side.
“I’m taking her to her room,” JJ says, pointing at Rebekah. “But she’s resisting.”
Before I can say anything, Cyrus is speaking, low and authoritative, in a way I’ve never heard from my brother. “Probably ’cause she’s been doing everything on her own time since you guys have been gone. She’s okay. She doesn’t need you.”
That pisses JJ off, with good reason. I look to Cyrus, unsure where he is going with this. “But, brother, JJ is supposed to watch out for her.”
Rebekah’s eyes are wild, and before anything can be said, she reaches out to me, taking my money clip out of my pocket, and throwing it at JJ. He catches it with ease, his eyes wide and confused as I yell, “Rebekah!”
Eyeing JJ as he glares, she shrugs, “I thought he was a shifter, he’s acting weird.”
We all look to JJ as his face doesn’t change. He’s glaring while handing me back my money clip, and he sneers, “I’m not acting weird, you’ve pissed me off. I know you’re lying to me.”
“About what?” Cyrus asks, shaking his head. “She’s done nothing but be honest with me. And really, she doesn’t need you,” he says matter-of-factly, looking to Rebekah. “Go to your room.”
“I wanted to go to Father’s office,” she replies, but Cyrus shakes his head.
“He’s in a meeting. You’ll have to go later, but you need your rest,” he says, turning his back to JJ and me before whispering to Rebekah. I don’t know what the hell is going on and when Rebekah started taking orders from Cyrus, but before my eyes, my sister nods.
“Okay.”
“Okay, goodnight,” he says, and then he turns, looking back to us as she heads to her room. When she is out of sight, JJ bellows, “That will not stand, Cyrus.”
“It will. She needs space. She needs to feel like a person. Leave her be. I will talk to my father.”
With wide eyes, I look back to JJ. I have to admit, I’m impressed. Glaring, JJ shakes his head before turning and leaving without saying another word. Reaching out, I squeeze my brother’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Cyrus.”
My brother grins, shrugging his shoulders. “I learned from the best—the future leader of this clan. You’ve made me a better person, brother, and I’m proud to be yours.”
I’m completely taken aback by his admission, and I almost crack a joke, but his eyes are so serious. Squeezing him once more, I feel pride burst in my chest as I nod. “Thanks.”
But I wish that was enough, to know that my siblings respect and love me, that they believe I could one day be the best leader this clan will ever have.
But I have no love in my soul.
And because of that, it will never be enough.
Chapter Fifteen
Rolling to my side, I let out a deep breath as I reach for my phone. I have a meeting today with my family, but I’d much rather stay in this bed. I haven’t gotten much sleep the last couple days, and while I know I won’t sleep, I don’t want to leave the comfort of my bed. Turning my phone on, since I thought maybe having it off last night would help me sleep, it automatically starts sounding with texts. It’s Taegan.
Taegan: I know we sort of broke up the other night, but I want to come see you.
Taegan: Can I come see you?
Taegan: No, then. Wow, you were serious.
Taegan: Why does that hurt so much?
Taegan: Wow. Okay. Well, I love you.
Letting out another long breath, I write her back quickly.
Me: I shut my phone off last night to sleep. If it were on, I’d play on it. I’m sorry I missed your texts, but it was probably for the best, don’t you think?
Taegan: Yeah, I guess.
Me: You’re mad.
Taegan: No, my heart is broken.
Me: So is mine.
Taegan: I love you.
Me: I love you.
Taegan: Do you want me to stop texting you?
Me: If it will hold you back from living your life, then maybe so.
Taegan: I don’t know.
Me: Neither do I.
When she doesn’t answer back right away, I set my phone down, running my fingers through my hair and then down my face. Each bump of my scars graze my hand as my eyes fall shut, and I just feel empty. Wrong. I don’t want to say good-bye, nor do I want to stop loving her. This is all such bullshit. Standing up, I go to the bathroom, showering before getting ready to go down to the meeting. I’m unsure what it is about, but I am sure it will be so much fun.
Not.
Checking my phone once I’m dressed, I see Taegan hasn’t answered back, and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad one. Swallowing hard, I tuck my phone into my pocket before heading down to my father’s office. When I get there, Father, JJ, and Samuel are waiting.
“Oceanus.”
“Father,” I say, sitting down and crossing my arms over my chest. “Where are Cyrus and Rebekah?”
“They’re on their way, I’m sure, but while I have you,” my father says, and I lean back, fully expecting to be reamed for the way the meeting went with Fredrick. “If you ever talk to me the way you did yesterday, in front of the other clans, I will make sure you never, in the rest of your
existence, lead this clan.”
I nod. “I apologize for having an opinion.”
His eyes narrow with a glare. “It is your job to do what is best for this clan.”
“And what’s best for this clan is to have a free mind as I lead them, not to be distracted by a girl or any of that other mess, especially when my heart isn’t in it.”
“No one said you had to love the girl, just marry her,” he says, and I scoff.
“Because that’s fair to her, for me to never love her or even want her. No, I refuse.”
“We know,” he snaps, his eyes still narrowed with anger.
“But while we are discussing my leadership, when will that happen?”
“We—”
“Soon,” Samuel says then. I look to him, as does my father. “It’s well past time, and we’ve discussed traveling, William. It’s time, I feel.”
“Well, I don’t,” my father snaps, and Samuel laughs as Cyrus comes in, looking around the room.
“We’ll discuss this later,” Samuel says as Cyrus sits down, his eyes meeting mine.
“What can’t I know?”
“Hush,” Father says, his narrowed gaze landing on my brother. “I was told you demanded JJ leave Rebekah be.”
Cyrus shrugs. “Yeah. So?”
“So you don’t control that!”
He affects a bored expression as the door opens, and Rebekah comes in, looking beyond tired. Her hair is in a mess on her head, like she hadn’t tried after staying up all night. It makes me think she went down to see the shifter, but surely not with JJ being home.
“How nice of you to join us,” Father says, and she drops into a seat between Cyrus and me, her eyes on our father.
“Let’s do this,” she says impatiently, and I’m unsure what is going on. She’s a tad bit angrier than normal.
“Did you not get any sleep last night, Rebekah?” Cyrus asks, and she shakes her head.
“I’m fine.”
He scoffs. “Oh, sure, you’re not angry at all,” he teases, and she glares back at him, which he thinks is funny.
When my father clears his throat, Rebekah looks from Cyrus to our father. But I watch her. She doesn’t seem to have anything wrong, physically, but I worry about mentally. Has the shifter been messing with her mind?
Before I can ask her if she is okay, my father speaks. “I really don’t know what to think, but I’m pretty sure the threat against Rebekah is over. With this Killian person gone, I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”
What the hell? Sitting up, I lean on the table and say, “I don’t know, Father. Rebekah told me she heard from some drunk shifter that Christiana had shifted into Samuel and came in here for Rebekah some time ago. I fixed the problem, hence the new bracelets everyone has, but maybe we should stay on high alert for a little longer.”
“What’s the point? We’ve been on high alert, and people have still gotten to me. I can take care of myself, I’ve proved that time and time again,” Rebekah snaps from beside me, causing me to look over at her.
Before my father can speak, Cyrus nods his head. “She can. I’ve seen it.”
“Me too,” I say, clearing my throat. “But I still feel the extra security is needed.”
“But not JJ?” she asks, and my brows come up as I look to her.
“I never thought you needed JJ, my sister, but it does help to have him.”
“I get not being able to go anywhere,” she says, looking to our father. “Until we get a formula that works, that’s fine. But I don’t want to be babysat. I want to be my own person.”
“She did great while you guys were gone, which is what I wanted to speak to you about, Father,” Cyrus says, and to my surprise, Father nods his head.
“And that’s fine. JJ will only accompany you if, for some reason, you leave, which you won’t until your immortality is intact.”
“But why will I need him then?” she asks, and even I am confused. “If I’m immortal, I can leave, go do what I want, just like everyone else.”
But Father shakes his head. “I don’t know about that yet. Let’s wait and see.”
Crap. That’s not what she wants to hear, and I can tell that by the way her face twists in anger. Before she can go off, though, I notice my brother’s hand come to hers before he whispers, “Baby steps.”
She glares at him, and I don’t blame her. She shouldn’t need anyone to babysit her once she is immortal. Let the girl have a life.
“I’m very excited about this new formula, though. I feel it will put us at the top of the medical field in our family here in New York. Instead of killing the people who don’t react to the formula, we can grow,” Father says, and I notice Rebekah’s eyes widen in shock.
“You’ve killed people because the formula didn’t work?” she cries, and I don’t blame her. I hate that my father does it. It’s another thing I want to change. People shouldn’t die for what they aren’t.
He only shrugs. “Of course, or banished them away. One of the two.”
“But you kept me?”
“You’re my daughter, Rebekah, don’t be silly.”
Rebekah doesn’t agree, though. “They were people who deserved the same chance I have.”
“Only the strong stay and the weak leave. It’s that simple. But with you, I knew you could be strong, and you’ve proved that, yes?”
Her mouth is hanging open before she snaps her gaze to Cyrus, and then me. “You guys knew about this?”
I shrug. “I don’t like it, Rebekah, I don’t.”
“This is insane,” she says, throwing her hands up and sitting back.
“And now we know why Rebekah is hardly ever invited to meetings,” Father jokes, but no one really finds him funny. “But today, we need her.”
We need her?
“Why is that?” she asks, and I can’t help but notice how calm she is.
“Because we need to discuss the terms that come with this formula.”
Terms. What the hell?
“In order to give me the formula, my cousin wants you to consider marrying his son.”
Cyrus scoffs as I sit up straighter. Surely I heard him wrong. “Excuse me? Marry his son?”
Father looks to me, his eyes calm as he nods. “Why, yes, Oceanus, this kind of thing happens all the time. Taegan, for example. The fact she is marrying that dog to further her family—this will do the same for us. We need this.”
Uh, no, we don’t! But before I can say that, Cyrus says, “I don’t think this situation is anywhere near Taegan’s. You are basically selling my sister to some dumb kid who probably can’t find a girl of his own.” Nodding my head, I hold my hand to my brother as he adds, “And I refuse for my sister to be forced into something like that.”
“Me too. That is insane, Father. Surely, you can see why that would upset us,” I say, just as Rebekah puts her hand up in the air.
Looking to her, Father says, “Yes, Rebekah?”
“While I appreciate my brothers sticking up for me and saying what they have, I feel the choice is mine to make—”
“You’re right, my love, and I’m sure you realize how important this formula is, not only for you, but for the Patchwork in general,” he says, and my body starts to shake with anger. How dare he? How fucking dare he!
“Yes, I do realize this. But do you realize how important and substantial it is to this faction and the others that some of the rules be changed?” she asks, leaning against her forearms.
Father’s brows pull together, and I really don’t know what he is going to say.
“I don’t understand.”
What in the hell? How does he not understand?
“Oh, let me enlighten you,” she says, her eyes narrowing. “The fact that people are dying because a formula doesn’t work on them is irrational and unfair, but it’s not only that. People are also dying when there is mixing of the clans, and again, that is unfair. Who are you to judge who should live or die? You can’t run this faction
like this. We need new leadership that is in touch with the times and can change things. I vote for Oceanus to take over because you’re still stuck in the 1800s or something.”
Whoa. Okay… Whoa… My father is sputtering, but she holds her hand up. I have to admit, I’m so proud, she looks so grown-up. But then she says, “Does anyone else back me on Oceanus taking over?”
I look to my father, and his face is turning red. I don’t think she realizes how much more this will hurt me than help. Samuel is already going to have my back. I don’t need my angry little sister to fight for me.
“Rebekah, put your fucking hand down,” I mutter, but she shakes her head in rebellion.
“No, this is ridiculous, and I refuse to be treated like this. We all should be able to live a life with someone we love.”
Okay. She took it there. I shake my head, speechless as my father says, “Rebekah, I am truly appalled by you right now.”
“Yeah, I was appalled when you thought you were going to marry me off to some dude for a formula,” she throws back at him, and his face burns with anger. “And what really gets me is that you would be okay with me marrying my cousin, but not with Oceanus marrying a wolf.”
“Rebekah,” I warn, in complete shock about what is going on.
“It’s okay because this boy is a Patchwork,” Father reminds her, but even I don’t agree with this. If I didn’t want to marry the guy’s sister, how can I expect my sister to marry him?
“But he is my cousin. That is disgusting!”
“So you won’t?”
She laughs. “Oh, you didn’t get my answer out of all I said? Let me be more direct, then. The answer is not even no, but is unequivocally fuck no.” Cyrus chokes with laughter as she stands, her head shaking along with mine. “The fact you think I would is insulting.”
How I admire my sister. Even though she is thirty shades of insane.
“After all I do for you?” Father asks, his eyes full of hurt.
What the hell?
“Do for me? You torture me! You are so obsessed with making me immortal that you assume I would marry some dude I don’t even love? No way.”
“I do it because I love you,” he argues, and I roll my eyes.
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t ask me to do something like that. You wouldn’t tell Oceanus to go to the wedding of someone he loves but can’t marry because of your stupid rules.”
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