I’ll admit, at first, I was afraid I’d be arrested with them for simply knowing what was happening without turning them in. Fourteen prisoners were recently put to death for this very crime—and more are still in jail awaiting their sentences. It scared me more than I can explain. Would I be considered an accomplice for simply having knowledge of it?
By the end of February, the weight of the secret was too much to bear any longer. While Mother and Myra were busy in the parlor—making more wedding plans for me—I left Sean to himself and joined my father in his private study.
I’ve always been close to my father and can talk to him about anything. I prayed that fact held true as I approached him that evening. My intentions were to persuade him to put a stop to the wedding without putting Sean at risk.
The things he does are definitely against the law, but Sean doesn’t deserve to die because of it. If that were to happen, if he were to be found out because of me, I could never live with myself. The other concern I have is more self-centered. If we married and he was found out later in life, I’m not sure I could handle the whispers and condemnation from others. People can be so cruel, and when they think they are righteous and someone else isn’t, they have no issue with expressing it. Aside from how they’ll treat Sean, I’m sure many will question what is wrong with me and why I wasn’t enough for him.
“Father, I need to speak with you. Privately and in confidence, please.” My voice was strong and sure despite the flips my stomach turned.
“Of course, sweetheart. Come in and close the door behind you.”
“I need your word this will stay between just the two of us. Not even Mother can know. It’s very important to me,” I stressed as I took a seat across from him.
His expression turned serious as he weighed my request. “Asking me to keep this from your mother is an unusual request, so it must be a very serious topic.”
“It’s a matter of life and death, Father.”
A flash of shock crossed his face before his expression changed to a tentative understanding. It was that moment when I realized my father already may have an idea about the bomb I planned to drop on him.
“You have my word, Alea.”
“I need you to stop this wedding to Sean. I can’t go through with it. In fact, it’s best for our entire family the whole thing is forgotten.”
“Why? Be more specific.”
As much as I hated to say it aloud and risk exposing Sean, because he is my friend no matter what, I had no other choice. “He’s actively engaged in unnatural acts with another man.”
“Unnatural acts” is the legal term used by the courts and is prominently featured in our newspapers, listing each man’s name and the circumstances surrounding his arrest. Those two words gave my father the full picture of what we faced, and no further explanation was needed.
“I see,” he replied and leaned back in his chair. “You’re positive of this?”
“I am. One hundred percent.”
“I must confess I’ve heard rumors about him, concerning this very thing. There hasn’t been anything concrete, just rumblings and insinuations. But if this is true, if you’re absolutely sure, we must delicately extricate ourselves from this situation. Again, Alea, you’re absolutely certain?”
“I’ve met him, Father. Sean has taken me to their secret meeting place. I’ve been terrified I’d be arrested by association. I can’t do it anymore.”
His face flushed red, and his hands curled into fists. “He took you with him?”
“He did, but he didn’t want to. His hand was forced with all the wedding planning and pushing us to spend more and more time together. How do we get out of this without hurting either of our family names?”
He took a moment to contemplate my question before coming to an acceptable conclusion. “My business is booming, and I’m expanding it into America now. You and your mother will accompany me on my trip at the end of March. It’ll be a good excuse to get you away from this situation. Your mother will be excited about going on a family trip together. We can figure out how best to cancel this arrangement when we’ve put some distance between our families. Until then, you’ll have to keep up the pretense of being engaged to Sean.”
“I can do that as long as I know it’s not my reality. If I have to stay in America, I can do that, too.”
“Let’s hope there’s no need for such drastic measures. The situation may work itself out while we’re gone. Perhaps Sean will seek the company of another young lady to replace you while we’re away and completely absolve you of your commitment.”
“One can only hope. Though, regardless of how it’s accomplished, I don’t want any harm to come to Sean or his family. The quieter the better. For all of us.”
“I agree wholeheartedly, my dear.”
“Thank you, Father. I knew I could count on you to help me. Now I’m especially excited for our voyage, and I can’t wait for you to inform Mother we’re going with you to America!”
He chuckled at my sudden enthusiasm. “You’re a good friend to Sean. He would’ve been lucky to have you as a wife. But you’re exactly right—discretion is best. Now, let’s go and tell your mother together.”
Myra was visibly upset over the news of our travel plans, but Mother was so excited she momentarily forgot about planning my nuptials. When she realized Myra’s distress, Mother assured her we would be back well in time to pull the remaining tasks together for a grand affair.
For the first time in the last six months, I didn’t have to fake my happiness.
Sean’s expression was a mixture of relief and worry. His eyes sought mine, and I saw the questions hidden in them.
“I know you will miss me terribly, Sean,” I teased playfully. “But trust me when I say, you’ll be just fine without me.”
He seemed to catch my hidden message and gave me a grateful smile. “Come sit outside with me before Mother and I have to leave.”
Seated in the gazebo in my backyard, Sean faced me and held my hand for the sake of the eyes watching our every movement. “We’re not getting married, are we?”
“No, Sean, we’re not. My father and I are working on a way out of it that results in the least amount of drama for either of us. Regardless, you’ll never have to worry about being betrayed by me. I’ll never do anything that’ll cause you to be harmed.”
“You really are my best friend, Alea. And I honestly will miss you. If it comes down to it, you can blame me for our problems and save your own reputation.”
“I appreciate the offer, but there’s no scenario that doesn’t result in some sort of scandal, one way or another, unless we jointly decide we’re better as friends and refuse to accept the life our parents have decided we’ll have. At least then, our parents will be pitied, and we’ll just be their immature, rebellious children.”
“That could work.” Sean winked. “We’ll decide for sure when you get back.”
“If I come back. I may get to America and decide I’m never coming back here again. Save us both some trouble,” I teased.
I haven’t spoken to Sean since that day in late February. Mother and I have been so busy preparing for our trip to America, there simply hasn’t been time. I think we’ve packed our entire house just to ensure we have everything we’ll need while we’re away.
The trip across the Atlantic Ocean is expected to take about twenty-five days. I’m not sure how I’ll cope with being out at sea for that long, but I can’t wait to get to New York.
Our ship leaves within the hour!
May 1790
We’ve been in America for a month now, and I absolutely love it here. The thrill of exploring a new land aside, I didn’t expect to feel so at home. Though the culture and the city are much different from London proper, New York is a relatively new and thriving city that has a contagious vibrancy.
Father and Mother have met many new friends and forged new relationships in their business dealings. One of those new people is actually both a friend a
nd business partner. His name is Ramses Barnett, and he is positively handsome. I’ve developed a major crush on him that’s becoming increasingly harder to hide.
He’s mature and experienced far past his youthful age of twenty-six years. He and my father met almost instantly when we arrived. Ramses is in the banking business, a profession handed down from generation upon generation of Barnett men. He is working with my father on establishing contracts for our shipping business out of the local ports.
The first time he visited our new home, I almost embarrassed myself because I couldn’t stop staring at him. He has thick, wavy brown hair, dark chocolate eyes, and gorgeous full lips. He’s much taller than I am, and he’s so very strong. He helped Mother move several boxes and a huge trunk without the least bit of strain.
I’ve noticed him watching me when he doesn’t think I’m looking. But I can see him out of the corner of my eye. The way he looks at me, the gleam in his eye, touches me like a physical presence. His desire is palpable and causes a stirring low in my belly. The feeling is so strange and unusual, yet welcome and wanted. It warms me from the inside out to think he is romantically interested in me. Honestly, after not being desired by Sean, it feels good to have a handsome man pay a little attention to me. Not that I think Sean’s disinterest was my fault, or that it was a slight against me. I guess I just look at it differently for girls than for boys—it feels a lot like rejection at times.
Tonight, several of Father’s business associates were at our house. While they mingled, smoked cigars, and nursed their tumblers of bourbon, I withdrew to my favorite room in the house, the library. The books keep me company, the stories take me on adventures, and the characters are my friends. The door slid open, and there he stood, larger than life and striking in his suit. Though he fit the part of a banker perfectly, he had a wild glint in his eyes as they flicked around the room before settling on mine.
He quickly relaxed his expression before speaking. “I’m sorry if I startled you. I didn’t know you were in here.”
“It’s no problem at all. Do you need the room for a meeting or anything?” I stood, preparing to take my book with me to my bedroom.
“No, nothing like that. In truth, I was looking for you, but I wasn’t sure what to say when I found you.” In contrast to the confident air he projected, he looked almost shy after his confession.
“You were looking for me?”
He nodded.
“Is there something you need? Something I can get you?” We have house servants to attend to his every need, but it was the only excuse I could think of on the spot. I secretly wanted to give him the chance to confess his undying love for me…or at least his interest in getting to know me better.
He shook his head. “I obviously didn’t think this through to completion. My intentions are simply to have a moment alone to talk with you. Do you mind if I sit with you in here for a moment or two?”
“Not at all.” Somehow I managed to answer him without making a complete fool of myself.
“We’ve been formally introduced, but I’ve never had the pleasure of speaking with you one-on-one. This is somewhat unorthodox, and I realize I’m running the risk of offending your father, but I can’t seem to help myself.”
“I’m glad you found me. I’m flattered, and I’d also like to spend more time with you. Do you plan to speak to my father about this?”
“I do. But he mentioned in passing that you’re to marry a man in England. Did I misunderstand that?”
“Yes and no. It’s complicated. The fact is I am engaged in words only. An announcement of our change of heart hasn’t been made yet. We’d rather spare both of our families the embarrassment of a mismatched union as long as possible, give people time to move on to bigger and better news first.”
“Any man who thinks you’re a mismatch for him is a fool. But, selfishly, I’m very glad to hear you’re not marrying him.”
“He really is a nice man. We’ve been friends since we were children. It’s just not meant to be, and I’m glad my father realizes that. But what about you? What brought you to America?”
“My brother and I run our business together. With the opportunities to expand our enterprise, we couldn’t pass it up. So, we crossed the big blue ocean and have been here for quite a while. We like it and have no plans of returning anytime soon.”
“Where is your brother? I don’t believe I’ve met him yet.”
“He’s working with a couple of our other clients. Clarence has kept me very busy with his contracts, so we decided to divide and conquer. I’ll be glad to introduce you to him when he’s able to join us. Do you have any siblings?”
“No. I’m an only child. From what I understand, my parents wanted to have more children, but my mother had a difficult pregnancy. Neither of them is big on taking unnecessary risks, I’m afraid.” I averted my eyes from his, because my entire life had been spent avoiding unnecessary risks, and it was stifling and suffocating.
“A little risk now and then can be so much fun, though. The thrill of getting away with something you never thought you’d do. I have a strong feeling you’d enjoy a little risk-taking.” His eyes glimmered with playful mischief, and I found myself smiling and agreeing with him.
Voices carried down the hall, signaling an end to the festivities as our guests moved toward the door. Ramses stood, took my hand in his, and lifted it to his mouth. I watched, mesmerized, as he kissed the back of my hand. His lips were so soft against my skin, but the predatory gleam that held my gaze was unmistakably all-masculine.
“Until tomorrow night, my dear, sweet Alea.”
Ramses is coming back over tomorrow night for a celebratory soiree Father has planned for the closure of yet another successful business venture with different guests. Ramses was instrumental in helping to secure it, and Father wants to recognize Ramses as the man of the hour by introducing him to even more influential businessmen. He said this one contract Ramses facilitated is large enough to keep our shipping business busy flowing out of America for the next several years, ensuring a yearly return to America to oversee the holdings.
I’m so excited I get to see him again, I’ve already planned my entire wardrobe and hairstyle. He’s been the perfect gentleman, but I’m concerned he only sees me as a child. I’ll be eighteen this year; I’m plenty old enough now, and my plan is to demonstrate that very fact to him tomorrow night.
CHAPTER TWO
Ramses Barnett’s Journal, 1790
I spent the evening at the same place I’ve been for the last couple of weeks—the home of Clarence Dunn, a wealthy shipping tycoon who traveled across the Atlantic with his wife and daughter in tow. His business is growing, and he’s expanding it to a new continent. His daughter is young and beautiful, and my thirst for her has surpassed being painful and entered the realm of cruelty. The first time I visited their home, I almost turned around and left as soon as I walked through the door. I know myself well enough to recognize the early warning signs of losing control.
However, I stayed and worked on my issue of being too impulsive. I’ve returned there several times, torturing myself in her presence, and becoming somewhat of a masochist in the process. The more I’m near her, the more my thirst commands me, and the more I’m forced to command it in return. It’s strange because the more I control my whims and the more pain I subject myself to, the sweeter my reward will be when I finally have her in my grasp.
Tonight, I tested myself by joining her in the library where she sat completely alone. Though I was able to carry on a completely civil conversation, my eyes continuously strayed to her neck where I could see her jugular vein jumping with every beat of her heart. Kissing her hand good night signaled I’d passed the test, since I didn’t sink my teeth into her right then and there. My younger brother is correct when he reminds me our business ventures are more important than my thirst. With prudent investing, the money we make from it will sustain us for a considerable time.
But I passed a girl o
n the street while walking home tonight I was unable to resist—not physically and not by bloodlust. She was one of the working girls, but there was no denying she was new to the trade. Unlike the others who smelled as if they only bathed once a week, she was fresh and clean. Her long hair was black and shiny, a natural sheen that shimmered in the candlelight. Her corset was too small, forcing her ample cleavage to spill over the top. Her nipples were barely hidden by the lacy fabric, the upper curve of her areolas completely visible. My fangs nearly took on a life of their own as desire coursed through me. And hunger. Deep, physical hunger pangs that urged me to bite into her beautiful skin.
My physical needs didn’t end when I became a vampire. My enhanced senses made my sexual desires become even more pronounced and demanding. It had been several weeks since I’d last indulged, but tonight’s whim was more than enough to make up for my dry spell. Her name was Richelle, and she was perfect in every way. Her sweet, shy smile. The innocent way she batted her eyes at me. The furtive way she cast sidelong, come-hither glances at me. My cock was hard as steel from the aroma of her arousal alone.
She wasn’t acting, putting on a show to earn money. Her attraction to me was genuine, and that excited me more than anything.
“Hello, beautiful.” I approached her as a gentleman would, not giving away I knew she was a prostitute. Making the game a little more interesting.
“Hello, yourself,” she purred. “Are you alone tonight? A handsome young man like yourself?”
“I am, actually. I haven’t found that special lady to spend my life with yet.”
“Maybe you should try one night instead of a whole lifetime,” she offered suggestively.
“Does that mean you’re free tonight?”
“I’m available, but I’m not free.” Her coy smile left no doubt of her meaning. And I had no doubt I’d take her up on her very tempting offer.
“I would say the pleasure would be all mine, but that would be a lie. You will thoroughly enjoy a night with me. Shall we?” I extended my hand to take hers, and she slipped her small hand into mine willingly.
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