“You didn’t do anything wrong, Amanda. It was me. I happened to think I knew what was best for both of us, and I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
“I wish I could be the kind of woman you wanted.”
“No. Don’t do that.” He did face her then, even managed to smile. “You’re perfect just the way you are. Don’t change because of me.”
“Well, I wish things could have been different. Maybe in time…”
Josh told himself he’d let this go on too long. That he should just end it, right here. But the timing was lousy. They had business to take care of. And he didn’t need to be throwing her any more curves right now. He couldn’t afford to put up any barriers between them, because she needed him, and he was going to take care of her. At least in this. The personal stuff was just going to have to wait.
“Something’s happened,” he said. “Something I need to tell you. Rudy called. There’s been a slight change in plans.”
“What do you mean?”
“He says he has to go back to France sooner than he expected. So he can’t make dinner Saturday night.”
“Oh.” She looked so relieved. “So, it’s over? We’re done.”
“No.” Josh frowned. “We’re still going. Tonight.”
“Tonight? Why?”
Josh nodded. “It’s probably just Rudy enjoying the idea of throwing us off balance. I told you, he likes games.”
“But…” She reached for him, taking his hands tightly enough to cut off his circulation. “Tonight?”
“It’s probably better this way, Amanda. We’ll get it over with. There’s less time for you to be nervous this way.”
“I’m not ready,” she protested.
“You’re never going to be ready. But you can do it. I know you can.”
“What about you? You’re not ready, are you?”
“We’ve had people working on this around the clock since Monday morning. We’re in good shape.”
“But—”
“Amanda, I wouldn’t let you walk in there tonight if I thought we weren’t ready. Dan Reese could go to bloody hell, but I wouldn’t let you go. I wouldn’t go myself if I didn’t think it would be safe for both of us.”
“But…if Rudy’s so angry at you, and this is all about revenge, what’s to keep him from just killing you right now?”
“I’m betting on good old-fashioned greed. Rudy’s a middleman. He doesn’t get paid unless the deal goes through. I think right now all he has are suspicions about me, and he may be toying with the idea of revenge, but he’s in this for the money. To get it he needs a deal, and to make a deal, he needs me.”
“Still—”
“I expect to live a long, decadent life. There are tons of women in this world I haven’t even met yet. I’m going to need years,” he claimed, winning a weak smile from her.
“You know, you’re a very nice man.”
“You’re insulting me again, right?”
She shook her head back and forth. “I don’t know what I’d do without you right now.”
Josh took a long, slow breath. That big ache in his chest just grew about three sizes in the space of a heartbeat. If nothing else, she had learned to like him. To really like him, despite all that he was, all those ways of his she so heartily disapproved of. That was something, he supposed.
“You’re going to be fine,” he said. “I’ll be right beside you.”
“I couldn’t do it without you.”
She sounded sincere enough to send his heart into overdrive, and he was still trying to talk himself out of letting her go after tonight, as soon as this mess with Rudy was over.
He thought about taking her by the arms and pulling her to him, about letting her find that spot against his chest that she seemed to crave, the way he craved having her in his arms. He thought about kissing her until she wasn’t afraid anymore, of anything. How many kisses would that take? he wondered.
But in the end he did what was right. Much of the time Josh honestly managed to do the right thing. He sent her on her way, to the people who would outfit her for tonight’s mission, and he went back to what he’d been concentrating on before she came in here—keeping her safe. That was his job, his first responsibility to her, and he wasn’t going to let her down.
Chapter 8
They took a limousine. Josh was in an expensive black suit that showed off his long, lean body to perfection. He was smiling like a man without a care in the world, and he hadn’t let go of her since they walked out of the office five minutes ago for the short ride to the hotel.
She was draped in cool, elegant satin, the color the palest of grays. It followed every dip and sway of her body, the material dipping low on her shoulders and across her breasts and glittering like diamonds. Like the breathtaking ones at her throat and hanging from her ears and her wrist, the diamond pin securing her hair. There was a small fortune on her body, she calculated, nervous about that on top of everything else.
Her nerve endings were humming along, all her senses running in overdrive, the world rushing forward.
She felt totally different, oddly unlike herself, but she couldn’t say she was sorry about that. She hadn’t liked herself or her life in a long, long time, and now it was as though she’d entered an alternative universe, taken off on a grand adventure. She didn’t understand how it could be so scary and so exhilarating at the same time.
Josh leaned toward her in the limousine and said, “You look absolutely beautiful.”
“I’m so scared I’m shaking.”
His arm, stretched out along the seat behind her, dropped to her shoulders, pulling her to his side. He took her hands, which were clenched in her lap, in his own. “What can I do?”
He could do anything, she thought. He was magic and light, laughter and wonder, and earlier when she’d gone into his office she had the feeling he’d been close to telling her he’d made a mistake. That any kind of personal relationship between the two of them would be a mistake. He probably didn’t think she was worth the trouble. That her provincial ideas and silly insecurities were more than he cared to deal with. That he would simply move on.
And she found she was desperate to keep from losing whatever time she could have with him.
When this was over, they might never be together like this again. Her heart ached at the thought. But tonight she could ask anything, and he would give it to her.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
He groaned out her name. His head dipped down, his mouth, warm and sensual and so very wicked, settling over hers. Her lips parted at the slightest pressure from his. Before she could so much as gasp, he had his tongue in her mouth, stroking along her lips, her teeth, her tongue. His big, warm body pressed hers back into the cold leather seat, and she simply gave herself up to the feeling.
He kissed her greedily, with a staggering hunger and urgency that would have frightened her if she hadn’t spent the last few hours fearing she’d lost any chance she had with him because she simply wasn’t up to having a relationship on his terms. Because she wasn’t adult enough for it. That heart-wrenching conversation with him earlier in his office had been the most difficult she’d ever had. She’d felt pure panic, thinking she’d never be in his arms again. Never feel so safe, so protected. Never feel this wicked, wanton need coursing through her body or his big, hard body pressed tightly against hers.
She slid her arms around him, reveled in the feel of his hot, sweet kisses and the insistent thrust of his tongue. He held her face in his hands, then buried his face in the side of her neck, dropping biting little kisses along the side of her neck. She loved the heat, the power, the thrill of anticipation, and for a moment she simply forgot everything else, until she heard him swear softly.
“What’s wrong?” she murmured dreamily, shivering with sheer pleasure.
“We’re here.”
She blinked up at him, not sure for a minute what he could possibly be talking about. He was that good. Kissing him was that good.
She’d been absolutely lost in him. She was breathing heavily, saw his gaze drop to the low-cut neckline of the gown, to the swell of her breasts, and she thought he looked every bit as distracted as she was. Which made her wonder…
“Josh?” She hesitated. “Was that—”
“I thought a distraction couldn’t hurt. But no, that’s not why I did it,” he said, his hands still at the sides of her face. “I did it because I wanted to. I always want to touch you, and it’s been hell not to let myself do it. It’s going to be even worse to give up the right, once this is over.”
“Oh.” It would be even harder for her to give him up. “Josh—”
“Wait.” He put a finger to her lips, then took one of her dangling diamond earrings between his fingers and smiled. “We just went live. And that’s an open mike in these pretty earrings you’re wearing and another one on my cuff links. So from here on out don’t say anything you don’t want a dozen different people to hear.”
“Oh,” she said.
She wasn’t plugged in to the sound system they’d rigged on her body and his. She was transmitting all sorts of things through her specially designed jewelry but she didn’t have a minuscule, all-but-invisible earpiece like the one Josh wore. Apparently it took some getting used to, to be hearing voices and instructions through an earpiece while carrying on a conversation with people around her, and they’d all agreed it was more likely to be a distraction to her than a help.
“Ready?” Josh said.
“No. Not at all.”
He hesitated for a second, put his hand to the side of her face and kissed her one more time, as if he just couldn’t help himself.
“Come on.” He climbed out of the car first and extended a hand to her.
The hotel was ablaze with light, and she saw that they were in a long line of limousines pulled up to the entrance. Josh put his hand at her back and pulled her to his side, leading her through the lobby and into the elevator. The uniformed attendant tipped his hat to them before discreetly turning away.
“Look at me.” Josh’s voice took on that mesmerizing quality she liked so much. He pushed her into the corner, putting his body between her and the rest of the small elevator car, then leaned down to whisper in her ear. “We’ll do it just like we talked about earlier. I’ll be right beside you. I won’t leave the room without you. You don’t go anywhere without me, except to dance with Rudy.”
She gripped the lapels of his dinner jacket, hanging on tightly. “Okay.”
“He’s hired a trio to play, and there’s a small dance floor in the room. If he’s going to talk to you in relative privacy, that’s the best place. I’ll be watching the whole time. You don’t have to do anything except listen to him.”
His hands were on her arms, stroking lightly up and down, while she stood there shivering and hanging on to him.
“Rudy may have found out about you and Rob,” he warned. “Don’t let that throw you, and you don’t have to worry about trying to cover your nervousness. Let him see that you’re nervous. It works for us in this. If he asks you to get some information for him, just listen. You don’t even have to remember everything he says. The mike will pick it up. If he presses for an answer, tell him you’re not sure you can get the information he wants, but that you’ll try, okay? All we need to know is what he wants from you.”
She nodded, and he was so close to her now. She saw that spot on his shoulder, the one that seemed to call out to her, propelling her to him over and over again. And really there was no reason to hold back. It was understandable that she would cling to him now. He wouldn’t think less of her. One more night, she told herself. One more terrifying, exhilarating night with Josh.
She moved forward, bringing her body up against his, nestling into that fragrant spot at the top of his shoulder, the side of his neck, right below his jaw. She loved this spot, loved pressing the tip of her nose against his warm skin and taking in the intoxicating scent that always clung to him, and she loved how utterly safe and secure she felt in his arms. Josh’s arms closed around her in an instant, squeezing her reassuringly, before letting her go.
She moved back more slowly, pausing with her face right next to his, when they were practically cheek to cheek. Conscious of the sound equipment, she pressed her lips against the shell of his ear and said, “I think it’s addictive.”
“What?” he asked through a tightly clenched jaw.
“Touching you,” she whispered. “Kissing you. Everything about you.”
“Amanda?” he said, as if he regretted it. All of it.
But she felt his hot breath brush along the delicate skin of her ear, and until then she had no idea it could feel so good, so sexy, to have a man breathe on her. She didn’t want to ever let him go.
“Josh, don’t give up on me,” she said. “Please.”
His heated gaze fell from her eyes to her mouth. She was still so close to him, it wouldn’t take anything for him to kiss her right now. An inch, she thought, a little tilt of his head. He wanted to. She could swear he did.
The elevator dinged, the attendant clearing his throat and announcing their arrival on the third floor. She’d forgotten the man even existed.
She’d even forgotten about Rudy Olivara, which was why it startled her so when Josh turned around and she looked out into the hallway and saw Rudy standing there, a speculative gleam in his eye as he took in the fact that she and Josh were standing so close together, that for a second after the elevator doors opened, they hadn’t so much as moved.
She forgot to move again, taking root in that spot, in what had been a nice, private corner of the world with Josh only seconds before. He waited for her, smiling faintly and pulling her along with an arm anchored firmly around her waist. He brought her right up to the man who terrified her and stuck out his hand.
“Rudy, good to see you.” The two men shook hands. Turning to her, Josh said, “You remember Amanda?”
“Of course.”
Rudy bent over her hand, bringing it to his lips. She endured the brush of his lips against the back of her hand and edged closer to Josh.
“I never forget a beautiful woman.” Rudy straightened and turned to Josh. “I’m so glad you could come. Especially on such short notice.”
“We wouldn’t think of missing it,” Josh said.
“Good,” Rudy said. “Very good. Won’t you come this way?”
They followed him into an elegantly decorated room: a long table set for sixteen; a string trio playing softly in the corner; three couples scattered around the room drinking and laughing; beautifully dressed women dripping in jewels; elegant men. Rudy introduced them around. Two of the women knew Josh and fussed over him, flirting outrageously. Amanda found herself glaring at one of them at one point, feeling entirely possessive when she knew she had no right to.
Josh put a drink in her hand. Wine, she realized when she took a sip.
“Slowly,” he said. “You’re only getting one of those.”
She glared at him a bit, as well.
He grinned. “You look as if you could cheerfully claw my eyes out.”
“Maria’s,” she admitted, referring to one of the women Rudy had introduced her to. “Didn’t anyone ever tell her it’s rude to proposition a man when his dinner companion is right beside him?”
“I doubt she’s ever worried about being rude,” he said. “How are you?”
Fighting the urge to gulp down her wine, she said, “Just don’t go anywhere.”
“I’m not,” he said easily, flashing a smile at the lovely Maria Mendoza.
Amanda stood beside him for thirty minutes or so as he chatted with one person after another. About artwork. The Grand Prix circuit. The prince of a small European nation and his latest escapades with an American actress. About how dull Paris could be. Rudy seemed to be circling the room in an opposite orbit from them, always watching them, never coming close enough to say anything. He was making them wait, Amanda decided. Tormenting her. Probably enjoying
himself, from what Josh had told her about him.
Her stomach was in knots, so she merely picked at her dinner. Josh kept stealing her wine when anyone refilled her glass, and she had to admit she’d gotten a little buzz off the one glass he’d so magnanimously allowed her to have.
She nearly had an anxiety attack over the thought of leaving his side long enough to go to the ladies’ room. The whole trip went off without a hitch, except for Maria, who happened to be inside, delicately powdering her nose.
She gave Amanda a thoroughly dismissive glance and waited until she’d almost passed to say, “So, how long have you known Josh.”
“We’ve been friends for years,” Amanda said.
“He’s such a delight. I know he believes in spreading himself around, but…” The woman never finished the sentence, but Amanda knew what she meant. What in the world is he doing with you?
“Why don’t you just get in line,” Amanda suggested sweetly. “I’m sure he’ll give you a turn. Maybe when I’m done with him.”
Maria glared. If looks could kill, she’d be dead, Amanda thought.
Josh waited for her by the door. He was grinning. “Going to pass me along to her when you’re done with me, huh?”
“What?”
He fingered her right earring again. The microphone. She’d forgotten.
“I never knew there was such a catty streak inside you,” he said admiringly, drawing her against his side. “And I love it when a woman plays rough.”
“I’ll jut bet you do,” she said, willing herself not to blush. It was wordplay, nothing else.
Josh threw his head back and laughed. They’d just come into the room, and she felt the gaze of every woman inside come to rest on him. Not that she could blame them. He looked absolutely magnificent, and normally a man like him would seem absolutely untouchable to her. But not tonight. He stayed right by her side, and she’d gotten to enjoy the habit of reaching over and stroking his arm, his chest, of whispering in his ear and curling against his side. He was amazingly distracting.
She’d almost forgotten to be afraid, when, from behind her and to the right, she heard Rudy Olivara say, “There you are, my dear. I’ve been such a poor host. I haven’t had one dance with you.”
Cinderella and the Spy Page 12