by Ash, Nikki
Dead. His dad is dead. The man who torched my home, destroyed everything in it, and nearly killed my daughter and best friend, to turn around and save my daughter, is dead.
I back up against the bed and sit down on the edge in shock. I don’t even know what to think or how to feel at this point. This is just one big cluster-fuck. He looks at me with tears in his eyes and I don’t know whether they are in mourning over his father or the fact that his father almost killed his daughter.
“Did your dad know about Bella?”
He shakes his head no. “After I found out you came to see me, I confronted him and we got into a huge fight. I told him I was disowning him and I quit the gym. He blamed you for me leaving the gym. The only thing I can think of is when you left to go to your interview he went in to torch your place. He must not have known you lived with Kayla and have a daughter. Once he realized somebody was in there he must have gone back to save her. Only he didn’t realize Kayla was in there or maybe he couldn’t make it back in. He died from a heart attack caused by smoke inhalation. I am so sorry Liz. This is exactly why I didn’t want to be in a relationship or create a family. My life is so fucked up. This is why I told you, you deserve more.”
Bentley walks over to Cooper, gives him a hug, telling him he’s sorry for his loss. “I know you two didn’t get along but I never thought he was capable of this.”
Cooper doesn’t say anything. I can’t even imagine how he feels right now knowing his father is the one who put our daughter in danger and then saved her.
I walk over trying to comfort him. I place my hands on his forearms but his flinches at my touch. “I am sorry for your loss. Your father shouldn’t have done what he did but I am grateful he made the right choice in the end to save Bella.”
He takes a step back away from me and looks at me with a resigned face. “It’s probably for the best we didn’t tell Bella I am her father. Neither of you need this in your life. I’m not good for you. I’m sorry.”
And he walks out the door without turning back. I repeat the words he said in my head.
I’m not good for you. I’m sorry.
Those words hit me like a dagger to my heart. I have waited for five years for this man hoping to one day find him, and without even discussing it with me, he makes the decision for the both of us to walk out of my life once again. I clutch my hands to my heart in a pointless attempt to ease the pain, closing my eyes to keep the tears I feel threatening to come out at bay.
The police officer and firemen let us know the report will be available later today to pick up for the renter’s insurance company and then excuse themselves.
I look over at Kayla and Bentley and start to cry. Kayla waves me over and I climb into bed with her. I cry for Cooper and for the loss of his father. I cry for Kayla and what she went through worried sick about my daughter and almost dying trying to save her. I cry for my daughter who was almost killed by her grandfather whom she will never meet. I cry for the man that I care about who doesn’t think he is worthy of love. When I’m all cried out, I wipe my eyes and sit up, moving back to the bottom of the bed.
I look at Kayla and ask, “Now what?”
She sighs heavily. “It will be ok, Liz. We will figure it out. We always do.” And I know deep down, she’s right. With Kayla y my side, we can and will get through anything.
Bentley clears his throat and we both look over to him, completely forgetting he was even in the room. He gives us a small smile. “Why don’t you go back to Bella and I will stay here with Kayla. When they are both ready to be discharged tomorrow, you girls can come stay at my place. You’ve met Caleb. He lives there with me but he’s usually working or at the gym. We have a guest bedroom and although it isn’t huge, we can get a small bed for Bella and it will give you a place to sleep until you figure things out.”
I am so choked up by his generosity, I just nod my head.
Luckily, Kayla speaks up and thanks Bentley for the both of us. I give Kayla and Bentley a hug, and then I head back to Bella’s room for the night. I run into Hayley on my way out but I have a feeling she won’t be needed after all.
Bella and Kayla are discharged first thing in the morning and we head right over to Bentley and Caleb’s place. It is a decent size apartment in the heart of downtown Las Vegas.
We walk in and I am thankful Bella is old enough to know better than to touch stuff because this apartment is definitely not kid friendly. Bella goes to the couch to find the controller while pouting that there probably won’t be anything good to watch, when Bentley points her in the direction of a stack of movies. The stack is almost as tall as she is and she squeals in delight as she starts naming every Disney movie known to man. I smile at Bentley and thank him.
“Don’t thank me. Coop came by last night after you left, and when he found out you guys were coming to stay here, he went out and bought all that. There are also clothes for you, Kayla, and Bella in the room. He wasn’t sure of your sizes so he had to guess. He said the receipts are in the bags in case you have to exchange anything. There are some toiletries in the bathroom and he also bought toys and a bed and sheets for Bella. It’s all in the guest room as well. He bought all types of groceries, which are in the fridge and pantry since all we had was water and beer. He said if you need anything else to let me know and he will make sure to handle it.”
I am awestruck. For him to go out of his way to make sure we are taken care of is so thoughtful, yet it’s also saddening because he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be a part of our lives. He most likely bought all this stuff out of guilt for what his father did even though it’s not his fault.
“How is Cooper doing?”
“Not good. His mom and he decided to just hold a small funeral instead of something big. He told his mom, his dad didn’t deserve a funeral after what he did but she insisted they needed to do something. She probably wants Cooper to have some kind of closure. The funeral is in a couple of days. I despise his old man but I’m gonna go to support Coop. If you need anything just let me know. I will have keys made up while I am out tomorrow. If you hear somebody coming in late at night it’s probably Caleb. He works security at a club and casino on the strip so he gets in late.”
With that, he pats Kayla on the shoulder and kisses her cheek then excuses himself to his room.
I know Cooper made it clear he doesn’t want to be a part of our lives but I can’t just let him bury his father and not be there for him. I decide that I will be at that funeral. Not for his dad, but for Cooper. He needs to see that his father’s choices aren’t his own. I don’t blame him and he shouldn’t blame himself.
Thirteen
Cooper
After getting everything situated with the funeral director, my mom asks me to go to dinner with her. We head out in my vehicle to the local steakhouse I know she loves, and after we are seated she looks at me softly and says, “We need to talk.” I nod my head and allow her to go first.
“When I met your father, I fell in love immediately. He became my world. Things progressed so quickly. We were inseparable and within a year we were married and a year after that you came into our world. At first, your dad was so sweet. He was completely devoted to us. He was boxing but he never allowed it to take over his life. Once he started winning and he felt that sense of accomplishment he clung to it. I was home with you and we were close. In some way, I think your father resented my world no longer revolved around his. He would go away for boxing matches and where I would have gone before I chose to stay home with you. Please understand I am not in any way blaming you. I just think we had different priorities and we grew apart. There were times when he would be gone for weeks and I became very lonely. Sure, I had you but it’s not the same thing as being with another adult. I tried to fix us but when I realized we were just going through the motions I sought comfort elsewhere.
“I know I was wrong. I just felt like he didn’t even notice we were there anymore. I didn’t want to disrupt our house. My affair
went on for five years. When you were twelve, he threw out his back while training and had to come home. He was so miserable, abusing the drugs, and drinking. He missed fighting. I told him I wanted a divorce and when he refused I admitted to having an affair. He threatened to take me to court if I didn’t give him primary custody. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t care about him. You cried several times that you wanted to stay with me. But every time he would tell me that he would destroy me if I tried to get custody. Then, when I had to watch him put all his effort into training you because he wasn’t able to fight I just lost it. I started to drink. But here’s the thing. I stopped drinking five years ago.”
I go to say something but she holds up her hand, motioning to let her finish.
“It’s true, I have not had a sip of alcohol in five years. I wanted to be a part of your life so badly but when you told me you were moving back to Vegas to work with your dad, I knew the best thing I could do was keep my distance. Your father was a miserable, spiteful person, and if he knew you and I were close, I was afraid he was going to take it out on you and your career. I just couldn’t do that to you. I don’t know if it’s too late but I would really like to be in your life.”
I feel like everything I thought I knew is wrong and I don’t really know anything. My parents weren’t fucked up. My dad was. My mom made choices she felt were best to save me from him, just as he made choices that led to the life he lived.
I reach over and take my mom’s hand. “Of course, you can be a part of my life and there’s something you should know. I recently found out that I have a daughter. It’s a long story but her name is Bella and she’s four years old. She is the most perfect little princess I have ever seen. You are a grandma.”
She cups her hands over her mouth and silent tears pour down her face. “Oh sweetheart, I can’t wait to meet her. Thank you!”
“It’s time for a fresh start, mom.”
And it really is. I need to get through this funeral tomorrow and then I need to go over to Bentley’s to get my family. They don’t belong with him; they belong with me. Hopefully I can convince Liz to give me a second chance.
The funeral is filled with people who have associated with my dad in some way the last several years. He may not have been liked but I have to hand it to everyone who showed up to pay his or her respects.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and when I turn around I see Liz. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to support you. Whether you like it or not you are the father of my daughter and he was her grandfather.”
This girl’s selflessness knows no bounds. I pull her into a hug and thank her. My mom comes walking over and introduces herself to Liz.
“Mom, this is Liz. She is Bella’s mother.”
Liz looks at me bewildered. The last she heard I wanted nothing to do with our daughter or her.
“Oh, sweetie! It is a pleasure to meet you. My son told me all about Bella. I would love to meet her.”
“Of course, she is at home with my friend Kayla right now, but I am sure we can arrange something soon.”
My mom gives her a hug and excuses herself to speak to other people who are here to pay their respects. When she leaves, I look at Liz and give her a soft smile. “I know you just settled in at Bentley’s but I would really like for you and Bella to come and stay with me.”
She looks dumbstruck for a second but it quickly morphs into anger. Then she pulls me by my hand into a private room away from everyone else.
“What changed from the other day to today? You do remember telling me you wanted nothing to do with our daughter or me, right? And that was after you said you did. You are giving me whiplash, Cooper! You have changed your mind like five times! How do I know you won’t change your mind, again? Sorry, but Bella and I are just fine where we are. As soon as I find a job we will move out. If you want to get to know your daughter, fine; I won’t stop you but you can’t expect us to just move in with you after you have played ping-pong with my emotions. I already gave you one chance and you threw it out the window the second shit got rough.”
I know she is right but dammit I have lost enough time with them. I need to take a step back and take things slow so she doesn’t freak out on me anymore.
“Ok, I understand,” I say as I close the space between us, taking my hand and running it down the side of her face and she freezes unsure of what my motives are.
I lean down and kiss the side of her mouth and whisper into her ear. “For now, I understand. I get I have to earn your trust and I will, and then you will be in my bed, and in my arms. That is a promise.” I leave her to think about everything I just said because I am not playing around.
Now, I just need to get this damn funeral over with.
A few days after the funeral, my mom and I meet with the attorney who is in charge of my dad’s will. The attorney lets me know I have inherited all of the training centers as well as his life insurance policy, his house and cars. Of course, he didn’t leave shit to my mom but since I have more than enough money, I insist that she gets the money I make off of the house when it sells. I make the decision to take the insurance money and put it away in an account for Bella. After what he did, she deserves the money. There is enough that she will be able to go to any college of her choosing and have a nice nest egg when she decides to start a family or pursue whatever dream she wants.
After our meeting, I go to the gym to let everyone know I am now the new owner. I ask for everyone who works here to join me quickly in the office, and once it looks like most people are here, I begin informing everybody of the change in ownership. Thankfully everyone seems ok with it. Some of the guys give their condolences but most of them know my dad was a prick, and so they say congratulations.
After they all file out, Kaden lets me know that right before my dad died the physical therapist on staff quit to move across the country to be closer to family, and that sparks the perfect idea. I just need a little time to formulate a plan.
I show up to Bentley’s place around 10 pm hoping to talk to Kayla and Liz, and walk in like I always do without knocking. I have a key and I have never knocked before.
Bentley and Kayla are at each other’s throats arguing about something. They stop when they see me and Kayla looks pissed while Bentley looks exhausted.
“What’s going on?”
Kayla is the first to respond. “Oh, you know Bentley thought it would be ok to bring some whore around here last night and when she went to leave after he was done with her, she walked out half naked and Bella saw!”
“Look, I said I was sorry fifty damn times! Liz is being understanding about this. I forgot there is a child here. You act like I purposely brought her here and told her to leave knowing Bella was out there. Damn it, woman! We both know you are just mad because you said you wanted nothing to do with me so I went out and found someone who does!”
Kayla huffs and as she is about to start in on him again, Liz comes walking down the hall and gives me a smile that turns into a frown. I chuckle at that. She must have forgotten for a second that she is mad at me. Figuring now is the perfect time to throw my plan into motion, I say, “Ok, well first of all. Before we get into all that; Kayla, I have a job opening at the training facility and was wondering if you would like to come work there. You would be working with Hayley and the fighters—”
I don’t even finish my sentence before she runs over to give me a hug as she chants, “ yes, yes, yes. You are a life saver!”
“You don’t even know the specifics. Don’t you want to know your hours and pay?”
“Yes, of course but the job I am at now just let me go today so whatever you are offering I will take. The sooner I have an income the sooner we will be out of here,” She says while glaring at Bentley.
I move on to the next part of my plan directing myself to Kayla still. “Also, about the living arrangements… After what I just walked into, I am thinking that while you guys start saving fo
r a new place, you girls can come stay with me. I have three extra bedrooms and I promise I won’t bring any other women home.” I look over at Liz and give her a wink. She just rolls her eyes at me and crosses her arms over her chest. She looks so damn cute when she’s mad.
Kayla looks between Liz and me then smirks. “Actually, I think all of us there would be too much. How about Liz and Bella stay with you, that way you can spend time with Bella, and I can stay here. It’s just temporary. I can handle the whorehouse.” Bentley scoffs under his breath at that.
I look over at Liz and she is shooting daggers at Kayla. I also notice Kayla is making it a point not to look at Liz. I already like this woman. Bentley jumps in and says he agrees it is a good idea, and I know Liz can’t say no, not when everybody else is saying yes.
She throws her arms up in the air, huffs, and says, “Fine. We will move in with you tomorrow after Bella gets home from school.” Then she moves towards me and gets right into my face. She’s so close I can smell the vanilla on her. It is taking every ounce of restraint I have not to grab ahold of her and kiss her right now.
She leans in closer to me and says, “But know this, Cooper. I am only there temporarily and I am only there for my daughter so she’s not traumatized from the half-naked women wandering around this place. You and me, not happening. My mom taught me a long time ago that if you share your toy with someone and they break it, it’s their fault. If you share it with them again, and they break it, it’s your fault. You have already broken my heart once, Liam Cooper, and you aren’t going to get the chance to play with and break it again.”
She turns to make a grand exit but she’s crazy if she thinks I am going to let her have the last word. I trail down the hallway after her until we get just outside her door, and she turns around, raising her eyebrows, daring me to continue this fight.
I don’t need to say shit. I just need to show her. So, I take her face in my hands and I kiss her. She tries to pull away but I hold on to her. When I finish kissing her, I trace my lips to the corner of her mouth and give her another soft kiss, then I move to the spot just under her ear and kiss her again. I know she’s affected. I can feel her trembling under my touch trying to remain calm. I give her one more kiss on her collarbone and then I turn and walk away. Before I get to the end of the hallway, I look back and see she’s staring at me so I give her that wink that drives her crazy. “See you tomorrow, baby girl.