by Ash, Nikki
When I open it up, I see Bentley standing there. He is dressed in a white-collar polo shirt that is tight enough to see the definition of his biceps and muscles but still loose enough that you can only imagine what’s underneath. Of course, I am one of the lucky ones that have gotten to see what’s underneath and it is pure. Fucking. Perfection. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and Nikes. He is the epitome of sex. His hair is grown out just enough that I could pull it while his face is buried deep between my legs. What the heck am I thinking? It has got to be the pregnancy hormones! I have been turned on like crazy lately! I swear I am going to have to buy batteries for my vibrator in bulk at this point.
I look into his beautiful dark blue eyes and see laughter. Shaking my head, I try to snap out of my mini-lust daydream but it’s too late. It’s like he can read my mind.
“You can have this any time you want…”
Laughing at his insinuation I play it cool. “I don’t think your girlfriend will be too keen on that idea… or are you thinking threesome? She’s got quite a temper; I bet she likes it rough in bed.”
He closes the space between us and pushes me gently against the door. “One, I don’t have a girlfriend. Two, the only person I want to discuss being in bed with me is you. And three, I have no desire to share you with anybody else, man or woman. Got it?”
Well, hot damn. Maybe I won’t need my vibrator after all…
“Have you been with anybody since you left?”
For a second I consider lying to him. I hate that Bentley has been with another woman since me but I decide to go with the truth because I always tell it like it is, and I am not going to change who I am now.
“No, unlike you, I have only been with one person in the last year and that person is you.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “I can’t take back being with Sophia, Kayla. I was hurt by your rejection. You have to know that she will never compare to you. Nobody will but fuck, what am I supposed to do when you won’t give us a real chance?”
Whoa! Shit is getting way too deep. Time to change the subject.
“Oh, stop! We weren’t even together. You can sleep with anybody you want. Yeah, we have crazy chemistry, but it is just sex, Bentley.”
I see him smile when I mention our chemistry but it quickly morphs into a frown when I add that last tidbit in, and I immediately want to take it back. I hate to see him sad. It feels like my cold, icy heart thaws just a little bit every time he is around being so sweet to me.
He wraps his arms around my waist and moves even closer whispering into my ear. “We are having a baby together, Kayla. You are stuck with me for life. That means I have the rest of our life to convince you that it’s ok to love me. It’s ok to have feelings. What that guy did to you was wrong. I don’t know what happened but whatever he did, he was an immature little boy who didn’t deserve your heart. And what your mom said was way the fuck wrong. Parents should encourage love not discourage it. One day you will give me your heart baby, and it will be nothing short of amazing because love is a beautiful thing.”
He gives me a soft kiss on my cheek and then moves me from the door closing it so we can leave to my appointment. He doesn’t even wait for a reply, and that is probably a good thing because what the heck would I say to that? I know I should give him a chance but I am scared.
We arrive to the doctor’s office at two on the dot. I sign in and we have a seat in the waiting room. A very pregnant woman with two little kids is sitting just to the left of us. Her kids are playing with blocks and she is rubbing her huge belly.
“Do you want more kids?” I don’t know what comes over me when I blurt out this question. I swear I am blaming all my craziness on my pregnancy hormones.
Bentley grins at me. “Damn woman, you are still pregnant with our first kid and you are already thinking about having more?”
I smack him on his shoulder and he just laughs. “No! I was just curious how many you plan to have. You are an only child.”
“Well, I guess that depends on you. How many do you want?”
I roll my eyes but answer. “I have one brother but we aren’t close. I kind of wish we were. I think it would be nice to have a couple of kids.”
He nods his head and then leans in to me. “Once you admit you love me, I will give you as many kids as you want.”
I chuckle at that and then smirk. “I am pretty sure all I need to do is get you drunk and find a bathroom like the last time.”
“Kayla, that shit isn’t cool.” I look over at him and see he has turned gloomy. I was only joking but it’s clear he doesn’t think it’s funny. I decide to just let it go. He can be so sensitive sometimes.
Once my name is called, we go to the ultrasound room and I get undressed below my waist, lie down on the bed, and leave my stomach bare. The ultrasound tech comes in and says hello while squirting the blue gunk on my belly to do the ultrasound.
Within seconds I can hear the Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh, and it makes me smile. Bentley looks confused so I explain to him what he is hearing. “That’s her heartbeat.”
He looks so mesmerized and in awe as he glances from my belly and back to the screen several times.
“So amazing!” Bentley smiles brightly like he is already in love with her. I feel like such a piece of shit for attempting to keep all this from him. He deserves to watch our baby grow. She’s as much his as she is mine.
“You said baby girl. Did you already find out the sex?” The ultrasound tech asks.
“No, it’s just a mother’s intuition.”
“Well, do you want to know if your intuition is correct?”
I look to Bentley and he gives me a small smile letting me know he is ok with finding out the sex.
“Yes, please!”
She moves the Doppler around my stomach in search of what? I’m not sure. Then she stops and presses some buttons to zoom in and get a clearer picture.
“See those three lines right there? You are having a little girl and she is growing right on track with your due date. You were right about your mother’s intuition. I will take a couple screen shots for the doctor to look over more thoroughly and print some up for you to take home.”
“Thank you.”
“Umm… miss, can you print some up for both of us, please? I would like to have some.” Bentley looks so uncomfortable asking because it means we aren’t going to the same home. I doubt she knows that but I know that’s why he is asking, and I feel so bad, but how do I change the way I feel? How do I open my heart up and risk getting hurt again?
“Sure thing.” The tech says brightly.
After I get dressed and she gives us the photos we head out. I am thinking Bentley will take me straight home but instead he stops at an Italian restaurant down the street from the OB’s office.
“Is this ok? I figured you might be hungry and it’s almost dinner time.”
“Yeah, sounds good.” I feel so guilty I would probably agree to anything the man wants right now.
We walk into the restaurant and my eyes go straight to the boy–well technically now he’s a man–that broke my heart. What are the freaking odds of seeing him here?
Nine
Bentley
This afternoon has been amazing! Getting to see our precious little girl on the ultrasound screen and hearing her heartbeat is nothing short of a miracle. When Kayla threw it in my face that it was just drunken sex that created our baby, I wanted to punch something but I let it go. Sometimes when I look at Kayla I think she might be coming around but then she closes up, and it feels like I have to start from square one.
We walk in to the restaurant for an early dinner at a local Italian restaurant I looked up and read good things about. Kayla is in front of me and when she stops short before making it to the hostess stand I run right into her and then grab her from behind to make sure she doesn’t fall over.
“Kayla Peterson, is that you?”
A sleazy looking guy walks up to us never taking his eyes off Kayl
a.
“It is you! How are you? What has it been like ten years?”
I am still holding onto her and can feel her entire body tense when he speaks to her. I wait for her to say something and when she doesn’t I take over.
“I’m Bentley, and you are?” I hold my hand out to shake his and he shakes mine in return.
“Oh shit! Aren’t you the UFC Fighter? I watched your fight a few months back. My name is Jake.”
Kayla is still standing there frozen in place so I continue talking to this guy. “Yeah, that’s me. So how do you know Kayla?”
Yeah, I am talking like she isn’t even here but I don’t know what else to do. She isn’t saying anything.
“We hung out for a little bit back in high school. Fun times.”
“Fun times?” Kayla practically shrieks.
Okay. I guess she has found her voice and it doesn’t sound like she would agree with the term fun.
“Fun times?” She repeats. “I wouldn’t call you pretending to like me just so you could have sex with me and then dump me right afterwards fun times! I wouldn’t call you spreading it all over social media fun times, either! Or how about when I told you I loved you and in return you laughed at me and left? Was that fun for you? Because it sure as hell wasn’t fun for me! Oh! And how about afterwards I had to spend the next three years going to school with guys that just wanted me for sex since you told everybody how easy I was before you left for the summer and then ended up moving away? Nope, definitely wouldn’t call any of those fun times. ”
Suddenly it is all making sense; Kayla not believing in love, the guy who broke her heart that she refuses to speak of, her listening to her mom when she told her love doesn’t belong in a relationship. The guy who helped make her who she is today is standing right in front of me with his eyes wide open like the scared little pussy he is, and it’s taking everything in me not to deck him straight in his face for everything he has done to Kayla.
“Look, Kayla...” He begins to speak to her but I have had enough so I cut in. I am not about to sit here and listen to his excuses.
“No, you don’t have shit to say to her. I think you did enough. Take your punk ass out of this restaurant and don’t even think about this woman again. As a matter of fact, if you ever even see her again you walk the other way. Got me?” I don’t bother waiting for his answer. I take Kayla by the hand and lead her to the podium to request a table.
When we sit down she is visibly shaking. I could ask her to tell me about what happened but based on what she said to him I can piece it together enough to know that piece-of-shit used her for sex and then dumped her. I do have one thing I need to say, though.
“Look, I know you probably don’t want to talk about what just happened or what happened all those years ago, but I just need to say one thing.”
I wait for her to agree then I continue. “It sucks that I didn’t meet you before him because if I would have met you before that asshole, I would have had your heart, and my guess is, it would still be intact and perfect. I would have given it my all and handled it with care. You may not admit it, but what we have is more than just sex and it didn’t just start recently. It started six damn years ago and if I had had you before he tore your heart to shreds, I wouldn’t have taken it for granted. I will never take you for granted.
“Every day you live a lie trying to convince yourself love isn’t real, you are letting him win. I am not going to give up on you. Until you are ready to give us a real chance I will have enough faith for the both of us. I am here, Kayla, and I am not going anywhere…” I give her a second to let it all sink in and then say, “Now let’s eat some food. I am starving.”
She smiles and nods her head and I know she gets it.
Ten
Bentley
“Sweetie, I am so glad you broke up with that Sophia girl.” My mom and dad are in town for the wedding. They are staying at a hotel for the weekend so I met them at the restaurant attached to the hotel for dinner.
“If you didn’t like her why didn’t you say something?”
“We just want you happy, Bentley. It isn’t our place to judge. How are Kayla and the baby?”
After I found out Kayla was pregnant, I immediately called my parents to let them know. As an only child, my mom has been waiting for the day she will get a grandchild. Since I told her Kayla is having a girl she has sent me packages of girl shit every day. I hope Kayla allows my mom to be a part of this baby’s life. I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t though. While Kayla and I still aren’t together, we have reached a new understanding. I have flown to Florida for every doctor’s appointment and we have reached a level of comfort where we actually laugh and talk and joke around. I can feel her opening up, but she just isn’t quite there yet.
I have brought up our living arrangements but she is hell-bent on living in Florida. I think the lack of affection in her childhood home makes her feel safe because she doesn’t have to deal with emotions with her family. Caleb has told me I am welcome to use the third bedroom as a nursery until I figure out what I am going to do, so I currently have a crib, bassinet, rocking chair, and other essentials in the room that I will need for the baby. I know it’s wishful thinking that I will convince Kayla to move here with the baby but even if she is willing to visit I want to have everything she needs for her here.
“I think she is good. She flew in today for the wedding as well. Her parents are busy so they won’t be going. Work always comes first for them. She flew with Liz’s family so at least she wasn’t alone on the flight.”
“Isn’t that her?” I look over to see a very pregnant Kayla walking past the restaurant by herself towards the lobby. While my mom has never met Kayla in person, I have shown her numerous pictures of her.
I jump up out of my seat and run over to her.
“Hey!” She looks at me for a moment confused as to why I am here.
“My mom and dad are staying here. We just sat down for dinner. Want to join us?”
She looks nervous like she is about to say no when my mom walks over to introduce herself. She gives Kayla a hug like she has known her for years and at first, I can see Kayla stiffen but then she relaxes.
“I’m sorry! You don’t even know who I am and I am over here hugging you! I just feel like I know you already from all the pictures Bentley has shown me of you, and I swear the boy never stops talking about you or the baby. My name is Kathleen. I am Bentley’s mom. The man over there is Ryan, his dad. Do you mind?” She looks down at Kayla’s very pregnant belly wanting to touch it.
“Mom…” Kayla cuts me off giving me a small smile.
“No, it’s ok. Go ahead. It’s rock hard. She is definitely outgrowing her space in here.” She giggles a little and it makes my heart beat faster. She is so damn beautiful.
“Oh, how precious! I can’t wait to meet her. Have you seen all the stuff we have sent to Bentley for the baby? If there’s anything you don’t like, just let me know. Everything is returnable. I just couldn’t help myself. Our first grandchild! This is so exciting. ”
Kayla looks at me with a questioning glance. I have told my mom Kayla is living in Florida and she knows we aren’t together but I haven’t told Kayla about all the stuff I have for the baby.
Kayla gives her another small smile. “Thank you. I am sure everything is lovely.”
My mom gives me a questioning look but doesn’t say anything in return. Instead she says, “We are just about to eat. Please say you will join us. I would love to get to know you better.”
Leave it to my mom to ask without actually asking. Kayla obviously can’t say no to my mom because she nods her head yes and we head back to the table.
My mom introduces Kayla to my dad and then we all order.
“So, Kayla. Have you thought of any names yet?” My mom asks attempting to keep the conversation light.
“Not really. I am hoping it will come to me once I see her.”
“I am sure it will. I wasn’t sure what
we were going to name Bentley until I saw him. Will your parents be there for the delivery?”
“No, I don’t think so. They are really busy at work. I am living with them and they have offered to hire a nanny to help me in the beginning. I found a job near me but I won’t be starting until six weeks after the baby is born. There was no point in starting now and then have to take off to have her.”
“I know we just met but would it be ok if I was there? I would be honored to be a part of the delivery, and maybe we could stay for a couple weeks?”
“You would fly all the way to Florida just to see the delivery?” Kayla asks with a mixture of shock and awe in her voice.
“Of course, we would! I know Bentley will be there and I don’t want to intrude but this is our first grandbaby. I want to see her as much as possible.” And this is why I love my mom. She doesn’t judge. She just opens her arms for anybody.
“What the hell? I should have guessed this is how it would end.” We all turn our heads to see Sophia standing there with her friends. Her hands are on her hips and she looks like she just smelled something rotten. Now that I am thinking about it, maybe that’s just her permanent facial expression. Knowing this is one of Sophia’s favorite places to eat, it doesn’t surprise me that she is here.
I can see Kayla clam up not wanting any issues in front of my parents.
“Hello there Sophia, I am sorry but we are having dinner. If you need to speak to Bentley can you please do it another time? I am getting to know Kayla and the stress isn’t good for the baby.” Go mom!
Sophia glares at my mom and then around the table, and luckily decides this isn’t a battle she is going to win so she walks away.
“Now, where were we?” She gives Kayla a wink and continues talking about the baby. I can see Kayla visibly relax and actually start to speak comfortably with everyone.
After dinner, my parents not so subtly retreat back to their room leaving Kayla and I alone at the table.
“Your parents are really nice, and I swear the entire meal they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. It was so adorable.” Kayla laughs and I join in. I know I should be embarrassed at my parents’ public displays of affection but I’m not.