by Ash, Nikki
I know she will let Marco and I hang out so I immediately decide to let it go. She will probably make a better parent than me anyway. She isn’t tainted with the past I have.
We are watching some ridiculous show about a guy who has ten women all fighting over him. I look over at Hayley and see the hearts in her eyes over this shit.
“Do you really think you can meet your spouse on a show like this?” I ask sounding as negative as my thoughts are.
She gives it some thought for a few seconds; her cute nose scrunches up making me want to lean over and kiss it. “I’m not sure but based on my results on the dating site Ashley had me join, it probably can’t hurt. Those guys who message me are crazy! At least on this show they have to do a background check.”
She cracks up laughing at herself and so many thoughts run through my head. First, I go back to my thought of wanting to kiss her nose. I decide to ignore that shit. Next, I think about the fact this beautiful woman seriously thinks she needs a dating site to meet a man. Is she crazy? Then again, she wanted me and I turned her down. Nope, she’s not the crazy one… I am. My final thought is a feeling I only recently experienced, jealousy. Like when I saw Hayley dancing with Alex; my blood boils thinking of all these jackasses messaging her wanting a date. I’m not a hundred percent sure I can trust this woman but I am going to figure my shit out soon before some dumbass on a dating site scoops up the woman I am pretty sure I am slowly falling for.
“You’re still on that dating site? Haven’t you ever heard of catfishing? You should stay off that shit. A beautiful woman on a dating site is just asking for trouble!”
Her eyes go wide and I backtrack realizing I just went off and on top of that called her beautiful. Fuck it! Let the chips fall where they may…
“Umm… Well technically I haven’t gone on a date yet using the site since I had to cancel my first one the night we went out to dinner with Marco. I didn’t like the way he acted about the whole situation of me having to cancel so I never messaged him again.”
Good!!
I just nod my head trying to be cool. We go back to watching the show and the guy is going on a one-on-one date with one of the women who won the date because they had the most in common according to some quiz.
“Do you really believe these women tell the truth?”
“Of course! They can’t lie on television. Everybody would know they are lying!” Wow, she is so gullible. I can’t help but chuckle at her seriousness.
“How would anybody know they are lying? I have seen plenty of women lie and get away with it. I bet you could lie to me right now and I wouldn’t even know.”
“Ok, you’re on!”
“We are going to need some alcohol for this. Go grab a bottle and then we will play a game.”
She jumps up from the couch and goes to the kitchen to grab some liquor while I watch her cute behind sway in her tight tank top and tiny little cotton shorts that reads Will squat for tacos across the back of her ass. She always wears them around the house at night and swears Taco Tuesday is a real holiday. And so far, every Tuesday she has made tacos.
“All I have is a bottle of Patron Silver. Is that ok?”
“Sure.” I take the bottle and pour two shots into the glasses she brought over.
“Ok, so what’s the game?”
“It’s called two truths and one lie. You will tell me three facts. Two of them will be the truth and one of them will be a lie. If I figure out which one is the lie you have to take a shot, if I can’t figure it out I have to take the shot.”
“Ok,” she says smiling. “Hmmm… Let me see…” She is so cute as her eyes shoot up to the ceiling and her finger taps her chin in concentration trying to think of what to say.
“Ok, I visit New York yearly, I love fuzzy socks, and I hate exercising.
“Your lie is you hate exercising.”
She smiles big. “Nope! Drink up! My lie is that I visit New York yearly. Other than going to Breckenridge and to the different sports arenas for the UFC fights, I have never been anywhere, like on vacation. I would love to go to New York one day.”
I down the shot of Patron and think how awesome it would be to take her to New York. I was there a while back for a photo-shoot for the UFC and there’s so much to do and see.
“See?” I tell her. “It’s hard to tell when someone is lying.”
“I guess,” she says softly. “But I wouldn’t want to purposely mislead someone I am trying to be with. If those women lie on The Bachelor they are basing their relationship on a lie. They must know it won’t work out in the end.”
My heart speeds up at her words. She is too damn good to be true. She is so damn sweet and innocent. I grab another shot and down it letting the alcohol numb my brain… and my heart. She is confusing the shit out of me.
“Hey! I didn’t even give you any truths or lies. You aren’t supposed to drink yet.”
“Sorry, go ahead. Try again.”
“Ok, I love to gamble at the slot machines, I love to cook, and I love to play candy crush on my phone.”
“I have no clue what candy crush is, so I am going to go with that one for your lie because we live in Las Vegas and your cooking is good as fuck.”
She giggles and pours me a shot. “Drink up! My lie was that I love to gamble at the slot machines. I have never even gambled before.”
I shoot the shot back welcoming the burn in my throat. “How is that possible? Haven’t you lived in Vegas your whole life?”
“Yep, but I never went gambling. I also have never been to a strip club or to watch the fountains at the Bellagio. I spent so much time studying and going to school I guess I forgot to take advantage of where I live.”
Before I know what I am saying, I blurt out, “Well that’s going to have to change. When my leg is out of this cast we are hitting up the strip clubs, a casino, and the fountains all in one night.”
She laughs and pours herself a shot. “Ok, so now it’s your turn. Tell me two truths and a lie.”
My cellphone rings right then and my dad’s attorney’s name shows up on the caller ID. He called once before I was put in the hospital and a couple more times, never leaving a voicemail. I might as well answer this shit and get it over with. I show her my phone is ringing and answer it.
“Hello.”
“Hey Caleb! It’s Jason Caldwin, your father’s attorney.”
“Yeah, I know who you are. What’s up?”
I see Hayley trying to act like she’s not listening next to me. I want to stand up and walk away but I can’t with my gimp leg.
“Caleb, we need to speak. It’s about your father…”
“I haven’t spoken to my father in over seven years. If he wants to talk to me he can call me himself.”
“He can’t do that, Caleb. He passed away last month. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Gloria handled the funeral since I couldn’t get you to answer but there is the issue of the will. I need to meet with you in person so we can go over the details.”
Holy shit! My dad is dead. The man who chose his pedophile pimp of a wife over his son is dead. My last words to this man were I’m out of here. I should hate him but my heart hurts. It shouldn’t hurt for this man but flashbacks of life before my mom died flash in front of me. Camping, sports events, concerts, him taking my sister and me to the park on Sunday mornings to let mom sleep in. I want to hate him but knowing he is dead, all I can feel is pain.
I don’t even realize I have dropped the phone or that there are tears pouring down my face, when Hayley moves towards me grabbing my phone to talk to Jason. I don’t even know what is said. It’s all a blur. She sets the phone down and looks unsure of what to do. Can you blame her? The crazy mixed signals I have sent… Not wanting her to touch me. How do you comfort someone without touching him? And then I lose it. The lump in my throat that feels like it’s going to close up and choke me to death suddenly releases and I cry.
Before I can question it I am laying in her lap b
awling for the loss of the man I once looked up to while Hayley runs her fingers through my hair massaging my scalp. She doesn’t say a word just letting me let it all out. When I finally stop crying I don’t wait for her to ask me if I am ok. I don’t know what makes me do it but I let it all out.
“My dad is dead. I haven’t seen him in seven years.”
“Why haven’t you seen him?”
“My stepmom raped me when I was fifteen.” I hear Hayley gasp at my words but she doesn’t say anything.
I can’t look at her. I don’t know what makes me trust her in this moment but I don’t question it.
“After she forced herself on me and took my virginity, she had sex with me for several years while my dad was away on business. Then she pimped me out to a bunch of unhappily married women. I have never had sex of my own free will. When my dad caught us together she blamed me and he chose to believe her. I left and never looked back.”
I give her a few minutes to absorb everything I just gave her. When she doesn’t say anything but continues to play with my hair, I know she is waiting for me to continue; she is letting me get this all out.
“It’s why I hate being touched. It’s not that I don’t want to be touched. I just want it to be my choice. I spent years being forced to touch women I didn’t want to touch.”
Her fingers stop moving so I turn my face towards her stomach to look at her. I keep my eyes closed afraid of the disgust or pity I will see. After counting to three I look into her eyes, only I don’t see disgust or pity, I see a beautiful woman smiling at me.
“Well that’s good to know. I thought it was me, like maybe I smelt bad or had bad breath. I’m glad to know it’s you not me…”
I can’t help but burst out laughing. I word vomit all over her and she lightens the mood by cracking a joke. I can see why she is such good friends with Kayla and Liz. She is good.
“Are you ok?”
If that ain’t a loaded question…
I left out a heavy breath. “I don’t know. I hate that I never had a chance to make him believe me but at the same time I am mad that he chose not to believe me. Now he’s dead and his attorney needs me for the will… I don’t know if I can handle flying back there and being in the same room as that cunt.”
“Well how about this? Marco has a three-day weekend coming up. You will need help getting around, so why don’t we fly there together? We can stay at a resort just outside of Boulder at one the ski resorts and take Marco to see snow!”
Damn this woman and her positivity, how did I not see how amazing she is before now? Oh, that’s right… because I pushed away all women lumping them into the same compartment as the women who have lied to me in the past.
“You would do that for me? After I continually ignored you and pushed you away?”
“How about we start over? Let’s be friends. You are going to be here for several weeks anyway. Let’s start over.”
Friends? Fuck that! I don’t think I want to be friends with Hayley. I am pretty sure I want to be more than friends but I guess friends is a good place to start…
“Ok, friends.”
She gives me a full-blown mega-watt smile that could seriously light up a dark room and all I want to do is grab her by her neck and pull her face to me and kiss her. But I don’t. Instead, I smile back.
“I think this calls for another shot,” she says. I sit up and we both take a shot. Then we go back to watching The Bachelor as she swoons over the guy and I point out all the lies women are telling making her laugh.
Thirteen
Hayley
It’s Friday afternoon and I stop in to the gym to see a few of the fighters before Caleb, Marco, and I head to Boulder to meet with his father’s attorney to discuss his will. The night Caleb confided in me I wanted to find his stepmom, Gloria, and beat the shit out of her. I wanted to make her pay for what she did to Caleb, but I knew Caleb wouldn’t want my pity, so I made a joke to make light of the conversation and it worked. We even became friends that night.
I am getting all my files situated when Alex comes walking into my office without knocking and plops into a seat in front of my desk.
“Hey Alex! How’s your wrist doing?” I ask coming around my desk, taking his hand in mine to check out his finger function.
“It’s good, Doc. Thanks.”
“So, what brings you by?”
“I haven’t seen you around lately. How’s Caleb doing?”
“He’s good. He’s healing.”
“That’s good. So I was wondering if maybe we can go to dinner sometime.” Before Caleb and Marco moving in with me I would have said yes but now I feel like I need to focus on Marco and I’m not sure how I feel about dating with Caleb staying with me.
“Can I think about it?”
“Sure. How about you take my number and call or text once you decide.”
“Ok,” I say, handing him my cell phone to input his number in. I hear his phone ring and he laughs guiltily.
“Now I have your number as well.” He winks at me as he hands me back my phone. With a kiss on my cheek he heads out the door.
“What was that about?” Liz asks standing in the doorway as soon as Alex leaves.
“What?” I ask unsure what she is talking about.
She sits down in the seat Alex was just sitting in.
“Alex kissing you on the cheek…”
“Alex kissed Hayley on the cheek?” Kayla asks walking in the door without knocking dropping into the seat next to Liz. Apparently today is drop in on Hayley day…
“He asked me out to dinner. No big deal.”
“And what did you say?” Kayla asks.
“I said I would think about it.”
“Uh huh,” she continues.
“Uh huh what?” I plop back down into my seat.
“How are things going with Caleb?” Kayla asks. Of course, Liz leaves the interrogation to her.
“Things are fine. He’s healing. His father passed away so we are going to Boulder today to take care of his dad’s will. He and I have actually become friends.” I am trying so hard to sound nonchalant.
“And how many times have you ogled his fine ass body when he’s come out of the shower?” Kayla asks. Both her and Liz laugh and I just shake my head. They will never let me live that down.
“He makes sure to change in his bathroom. I’m sure the last thing he wants is me seeing him without clothes on. How’s Chloe?” I ask hoping to change the subject.
Kayla smiles big and pulls out her cell phone to show us pictures of Chloe and Faith. “They are so precious!” I say looking at the cute pictures.
“Karen, with DCF says it shouldn’t take long for the adoption to go through.”
“I’m so happy for you guys Kayla.” And I am. I am glad she is getting the chance to be a mother to Chloe as well. She has mentioned so many times feeling broken because of her hysterectomy. Seeing her being given the opportunity to adopt Chloe and provide a good life for her makes me so happy.
“Why do you look so sad?” Liz asks. Oh, now she wants to jump in and be observant. Fabulous!
“I’m not sad. I just don’t think having a baby is in the cards for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love and adore Marco. He is an amazing kid. I feel absolutely blessed to have him in my life…”
“Hey,” Liz says coming around the desk to give me a hug. “You have plenty of time to have a baby and when you do Marco will make a great brother. You will meet an amazing guy who will want Marco in his life and you guys will have beautiful babies.”
Kayla comes around my desk and we end up in a group hug.
“Hmm… Anything special I am walking in on? I can join if needed,” Alex says from the door waggling his eyebrows. We all laugh.
“No, but I need to get going. We should all do something soon. Poor Caleb is stuck in the house with just me.”
“Stuck isn’t the word I would use,” he says smiling at me.
“Weren’t you just in here lover b
oy?” Kayla asks putting her hands on her hips.
“Yeah but I just thought I would see if Hayley has thought about what I asked.”
I need to give him some credit on his persistence.
“You just asked her!” Liz says. I love that my girls always have my back.
“Ok… Ok…” Alex says putting his hands up and backing away. “Think about it, Hayley!” he yells before Kayla closes the door on him. We all are cracking up laughing.
“Just for the record I am team Caleb,” Kayla says. Liz laughs and agrees.
“You both are crazy! First you need to get Caleb in the game then we can pick teams. Ok, I really need to get going. Dinner soon?” Both ladies nod yes as we walk out to the gym floor.
I say goodbye and head out to my car. About halfway through the parking lot I feel like I am being watched. I can’t even explain the weird feeling I get. I quicken my steps and once in my car press the lock button. I glance around but don’t see anything that looks alarming. I chalk it up to paranoia. Caleb got a call from the detective of his case earlier this week letting him know the four men who were arrested were denied bail, which is great but the problem is none of those men were Hector or Santos. They are still out on the streets because they weren’t there when everything went down. The guys who were at Marco’s house are the enforcers, sent to scare someone into paying. Apparently, Marco’s mom was in some major debt from buying drugs. Because Hector and Santos are both still free, Caleb insisted I put a tracker app on my phone and requested I let him know if I am going anywhere other than to the gym.
While driving I think about what Kayla said regarding the adoption and decide to call Karen and find out the process of adopting Marco. I want to make sure nobody can take him from me. She lets me know the process is a bit longer for a single mom but everything should go through smoothly. I hate that Caleb won’t be on the paperwork but I need to still go through the steps to ensure Marco is mine legally.