by cross, kali
“Yes, I was married for three years to a guy who I thought was a nice guy. We had been friends for a while and we got along well. He wasn’t the love of my life, but he was a nice man.” Her sweet smile never touches her eyes as she continues, “When my mom kicked me out, I floundered for a while trying to get a job. I didn’t want to stay in Chicago so I moved to Cleveland. I had a girlfriend there, and she told me I could live with her until I got on my feet. Cleveland was fine. Hell, anywhere would have been fine as long as it wasn’t Chicago.” Her voice hardens as she looks out the limo window.
Sally’s eyes shine with a kindness that surprises me. She squeezes her hand. “That must have been hard. I can’t imagine.”
Aunt Patty’s face relaxes and she smiles at Sally. “Thanks. You know you girls remind me a lot of Marion and me,” she says looking between us, a new awareness passes over her face. “When I met her in boarding school, we were instant friends. She’s still a close friend, and I’m thankful every day that she let me stay with her.” She sighs and perks up with a smile, taking a sip of her drink. “Anyway, when I moved there I found a job as an accounting clerk in a manufacturing company, and that’s where I met Larry. He worked in manufacturing as a technician. We dated, got married, and bought a house.”
“What went wrong?” Sally asks. I shoot her a warning glance, but in typical Sally-fashion, she asks, “What?” A look of compete confusion on her face.
“It’s ok, Amber,” my aunt says with a worried glance. Taking a deep breath, she says, “I caught him in bed with my co-worker. I kicked him out, and we divorced. I was hurt, but all-in-all it was an amicable split. We weren’t in love. We had fun together, got along well, and the sex was great. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a good enough reason to get married. It was one of those, get married or break up things. We chose to get married, but we probably should have broken up instead.” She smiles wistfully.
My jaw drops and my eyes pop open. “That is not what mom told me. Not at all. She said he was the love of your life and that’s why Grandmother kicked you out. You were in love with him, and Grandmother didn’t approve so you ran off with him.”
“Well, my mother didn’t approve of him.” Her lips purse, as her eyes cloud over. “That’s no surprise. But, neither is your mom’s spin on the past. But, no, I didn’t leave because of him,” she says, staring out the window.
“Why did you leave?” I ask.
“Your grandmother and I disagreed on everything. Guys I dated. What I did. She didn’t have to try hard to find a reason to kick me out.” My aunt shrugs and in a total about face subject change, her face brightens. “We’re here. Wow, I’m famished. Let’s eat!”
The car pulls into the parking lot the bright colorful sign with a hamburger in top boasts charcoal hamburgers, fried chicken, and shrimp. A smaller sign below says “carhop open ‘til 10 pm.” The parking lot holds a square unassuming brick building and several car parks with old fashioned stalls covered in a red awning to park in and make your order. As we go in, the delicious aroma hits us as we open the door and continues to assault us while we wait to be seated. The mouthwatering scent of hamburgers on a grill and crisp French fries waiting to be served has my stomach doing backflips. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.
We all order burgers, fries, and cokes. The booth is spacious and dark red, as is most of the restaurant interior. The menus and signs tote an old fashioned. When you sit in the Top Notch, you feel the history. According to the cashier, it’s been around since 1971. The cashier calls our number, and I collect our burgers and fries housed in paper baskets with paper liners.
We all dig in and for once, I am not the only one making delighted noises about the food. We chat about our favorite country artists. I can’t say I had a lot to contribute to the conversation, but it’s not like I’ve listened to a lot of country. I know a few artists. I’m open to experiencing more. The thought makes my heart hurt. I would have liked Tommy to open up this whole genre of music for me. I guess that wasn’t in the cards…moving on.
***
The club is crowded, and Sally finds us a table in the back. The speakers are playing some band I don’t know. “Hey, who is this playing?” I point to the ceiling.
“Florida-Georgia Line,” Sally answers. “Do you like them?”
“Yeah, they’re good,” I say, “When does your friend’s band take the stage?”
Sally checks her watch and says, “About ten minutes but who knows? These things are a bit impromptu, I think,” she says, looking for the waitress and flagging her over, “Let’s get some drinks.”
“Patty, what would you like?” Sally asks pulling her credit card out.
“No, you don’t. You whip your plastic out every time we see each other. Does she do the same thing to you?” Aunt Patty asks me.
“Yeah, you have to be fast draw with Sally,” I say with a smile.
“My turn, sweetie,” she says, her hand on Sally’s.
“Ok.” Sally shrugs. “I’ll have a Jack and Coke. “
“Same for me.”
“Make that three,” Aunt Patty says, handing the waitress her credit card. “Let’s run a tab and if you notice someone is low on a drink, keep ‘em coming.” The waitress nods, smiling.
The band takes the stage, and we are chatting it up and a familiar voice says, “How’s everybody doin’ tonight?” My head turns to follow the voice, my heart thumping into my throat. Under the spotlight at the mic, is a singer with dark curly hair peaking from under a blue ball cap, with a light beard and sensual lips. Dressed in a dark blue shirt and blue jeans, Tommy starts to sing a song I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. His voice is strong and sexy and the sound sends chills up my spine. Damn, he’s really good. I glance around me and notice everyone is watching him. He commands the stage as his voice rings out garnering all the attention in the room. The quiet is strange for a bar, but hell, everyone’s listening.
I feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. Couples merge onto the dance floor doing the two-step. The first number ends, and a group of women scream and shout. My back is up and I’m surprised at the searing sting of jealousy I feel. I have no right.
The next number starts, and it’s another full rock out tune. A group of girls dance together on the dance floor in front of the stage trying to get his attention as they dance shaking their asses and doing their sexiest moves. My heart feels a stab of pain and a hardening. What the fuck am I doing here? I don’t feel like witnessing firsthand how many groupies throw themselves at him. I need to go. I study my hands intently, my heart pounding. The next song is about a love he wants to be in. More screams and rowdy women, the waitress sets another drink in front of me. It’s gone moments after she sets it down.
Why did Sally bring me here? I don’t remember asking her to watch while my heart was ripped out. Shit, I thought she was my friend. I look at Sally, and she smiles. Why the fuck is she smiling? Does she think she’s doing me another one of her favors? Watching him perform while all these girls throw themselves at him, oh yeah, this is fun. What about when they finish their set? Do I get to witness the exchange of numbers, the flirting, and the heated looks? I need to go.
I bend in. “I’m leaving. This is too hard. I’ll catch a cab.” My eyes feel hard and narrow, my mouth a thin line, my voice doesn’t even sound like my own, the deepness and fury seeping out with every word.
Sally looks like I’ve slapped her. She says in my ear, “Settle down. Sit down and wait.” She glances uncomfortably at my aunt.
“Fuck no. I can’t believe you brought me here,” I say, my voice rising as my eyes narrow.
Aunt Patty touches my arm, and I instinctively yank it away. She stands facing me, standing her ground. “Sit down, Amber.” Her body doesn’t budge. “Now.”
“You knew about this, too?” I say startled. “What the fuck?”
“Sit,” she says, her voice in the firm tone from long ago when she used to babysit me. Commanding. Forceful. Infuriati
ng.
I obey as he takes the mic again with the next number. “This one’s a slow one and not our usual style. Hope you like it.” A beautiful brunette joins him up front and he sings “Beneath your Beautiful.” She’s fucking gorgeous with a voice to match. Long legs in a girlish flowered dress, dark hair cascades down her back. Bright smile and she looks about his age. Is this why he hasn’t called? Looking at her, I realize we were never going to work anyway. This is the type of girl he likes obviously. Tall and thin, long legs and not a curve in sight except for all the ones on top.
They harmonize perfectly, staring into each other’s eyes. There’s a definite connection. I wonder if he’s slept with her, too. Oh, yeah, he sure as fuck has. This is so fucked up. Why do I need to stay and listen to this? It’s obvious they are sharing some kind of intimate moment. Fuck this shit. I look at Sally wincing at the betrayal. How could she bring me here? The song ends, and the band breaks.
“I’m leaving. I can’t watch any more of this.” I sneer at Sally. I turn to Aunt Patty, “Why would you stop me from leaving? I never took either of you for cruel, but I guess I was wrong. Take the hotel room. I’ll stay at the dorm. I-”
A hand grabs me and yanks me forward, a familiar back leads me, Tommy’s long legs drag me behind as usual. All without a word. I yank my hand back, and it doesn’t give. He chuckles and shakes his head, continuing to drag me through the club.
“Let go of me.” I yell as I struggle to keep up.