Kenzie arrived home and walked over to her laptop, eagerness mixed with trepidation in her veins. She was more than a little embarrassed about the message she’d sent to MisunderstoodGuy. But the truth was, she’d been a little foggy-headed and she wasn’t exactly sure what she’d said. Well, whatever it is, I’m just about to find out, she told herself as she logged into the site, her pulse speeding up.
Her eyes floated up to the top right of the screen. There was no new message alert flashing. And he wasn’t online either. Delaying the moment when she’d have to see just how cringy she’d been, she clicked on his profile. And a little bubble of adrenaline popped in her chest. He’d already been online this evening. He’d read her message and been so freaked out by it that he couldn’t face replying. A little nauseated, she clicked on her sent messages. I missed talking to you today. Okay, it’s not as bad as it could be. But, god. I’ve made him think I like him. And he hates it. She covered her face with her hands as heat surged beneath her skin. I totally overstepped the mark. He thought we were penpals, and I’ve been acting like it was a budding romance. It’s not surprising that the only guy who wants to be with me is my sleazy cousin. And he doesn’t even want to be with me.
“How to ruin a nice online friendship in one easy manoeuver,” she muttered to herself. “Way to go, Kenzie Winters.” She got up and grabbed a beer from the fridge, before heading back to the laptop to begin her nightly obsessive search for her cousin. Her chest hurt at the thought of losing MisunderstoodGuy. He was the only human being that she connected with on any level right now. Aside from her gruff exchanges with Jackson, and her highly annoying exchanges with Nash. But now I’ve got Lauren. And Kristin and Melissa, she reminded herself. Maybe this is a sign that I need to get off the internet and do more with my life. Like go back to the quilting class that I’ve missed for the past month, because I’ve been in such a hurry to get home and speak to MisunderstoodGuy.
She took a swig of her beer. Okay, I’ll do a ten-minute sweep, then I’ll shut down for the night, cook something healthy, and maybe watch a movie or read a book.
She opened the homepage of the local Fairfield newspaper, humming to herself. And her blood ran cold.
Right at the bottom of the page was one of the alerts that the sheriff’s office sometimes ran when they had urgent communications. And the alert was a photo of her, with the words “missing” right above it. The text beneath the photo read: “Kenzie Austin has been missing for three months. Her family and fiancé are very concerned about her. It’s likely that she’s going by another last name. If you have any information about her whereabouts, which leads to her being recovered, you are eligible to receive a $20,000 reward.”
Kenzie’s heart beat so fast that her vision blurred and she could barely see the screen. That fucking asshole! So this is what he’s doing now. He’s failed to hunt me down himself, so now he’s throwing it open to every bounty hunter, lowlife and creep who make it their business to find me. Her hands were shaking and her palms were drenched in sweat. They wouldn’t have an easy time finding her; she’d made sure she was hours away from Fairfield County. But $20,000 was a lot of money, and with enough of them looking for her, someone was bound to find her sooner or later. She read the message over and over. “Very concerned,” she spat. Like hell he is. That lying, cheating sleazebag. It was no surprise that he’d managed to get the sheriff’s office to post an alert for him. He was tight with everyone in the county.
She gazed around her apartment. The tiny place that had nevertheless become her home. She imagined some buffoon breaking in and hauling her all the way back to Fairfield, and she swallowed hard to stop herself from throwing up.
She spent the evening eating tortilla chips and salsa, again, and flicking through cable TV channels, but her thoughts were everywhere. Full of panic and dread. She drank enough beer to knock herself out for a few hours, but she woke again at 4am with her heart pounding, and lay awake for the rest of the night, staring at the ceiling.
6
Nash arrived at the garden center early, picked up Jackson’s truck and drove to the warehouse to collect the ice skates. Hunting in the forest last night had done little to improve his mood. It had just reminded him how alone he was. How he didn’t have a pack to hunt with and, least of all, a mate. He hadn’t slept much either, and his eyes were heavy as he arrived at the warehouse. But the sight of the skates was a relief at least. He’d been worried that they’d be too beat up to use, but they were in decent condition. A little whiffy, but nothing that a spray of vinegar wouldn’t fix.
His spirits lifted a little during the drive back. He was determined to make a go of this ice rink, and save Jackson’s livelihood. He owed Jackson a lot – practically his whole life. Not many bear shifters would’ve taken in a lone wolf, and given him a job and a place to live. Most bears thought that wolves were untrustworthy and out to cheat them. But not Jackson. He had trusted Nash almost without question. Which had given him a reason to live during a very dark time.
Kenzie was hard at work by the time he pulled into the parking lot. As usual, her long dark hair was carelessly pulled back into a ponytail, and she was wearing a shapeless shirt that all but concealed her hourglass shape. Still, she got his wolf purring.
“Good morning, Kenzie-meister!” He yelled out the window. She turned around, unsmiling, and he suddenly remembered the argument they’d had yesterday. Surely she’s not still mad about that?
“Hello, Nash,” she replied in a tight voice. She came over and helped him unload the skates. “These are way better than I expected,” she said examining the blades and the lace-up boots.
“I know, right?”
“I was kind of worried that they’d be trashed, and that this would be a nonstarter.” He flashed her a grin, ridiculously full of gratitude that she shared his sentiments.
“The ice rink has already arrived, and the guys are setting it up now,” she said as they put the last of the skates into a storage shed. “Come see.”
Jackson was watching the guys at work, and they joined him, looking on in fascination as they laid out the flat base for the rink. Soon, the bell rang, indicating that some new customers had entered the store, and Nash and Kenzie got back to work.
Nash watched Kenzie as she chatted to customers. There was some tension in her shoulders, but she was smiling and laughing as she always did when she was serving people. I wish she’d act like that when she speaks to me, he thought. And then a brainwave hit him.
“Can I ask you a question, Kenzie-meister?” he asked as she waved the customers off. She turned to him, and for once, her expression was unguarded.
“What is it, Nash?”
“Say you met me online. As a woman, I mean. Uh, as a potential date. What should I be like?”
“Why are you asking me?” Kenzie gave an exaggerated sigh, reminding him just how anal she was, and right away, he wished he hadn’t asked.
“Uh, because you’re a woman.” She flashed him her classic you’re a freak face.
“I mean, I’m not asking what to say to you specifically. Just women in general.”
“Is this a serious question, Nash? Or are you just screwing around?”
“No, I’m a hundred percent serious, Kenz. I’d really value your opinion.” He opened his eyes wide to show her that he was earnest. She sighed again; was silent for a while. Then, just when he thought that she was ignoring him, and not thinking about his question at all, she replied:
“Just be genuine, Nash. Don’t show off; don’t be irritating; give nice compliments. Unambiguous ones. Just be normal, you know. It shouldn’t be that hard.”
“Thanks, Kenz. Appreciate it.”
“That’s okay. But don’t call me Kenz.”
“Sorry.”
They worked quietly for maybe five minutes, Nash’s mind spinning. Maybe he’d been going about this whole dating thing wrong. Did chicks really like guys who were honest and natural? Surely the main thing was to impress them?
“So, you’re online dating?” Kenzie said, cutting through the silence.
“Nope. I was just asking on behalf of a friend. You think I’m a loser who needs to meet chicks online?” Kenzie lifted her head and gave him a filthy look, and instantly he regretted his words.
“That right there, is the kind of thing I’m talking about. Tell your friend –” She raised her hands and wiggled the first two fingers in the air. “To observe you closely. And whatever you do, he should do the exact opposite.” She turned herself away from him and bent back to her work.
Kenzie was jumpy all day, and all of the evening. It had been kind of a relief to have Nash’s stupid comments to distract her at work. But when she arrived home and shut her door, she was completely alone again. Her laptop sat menacingly on her coffee table. She picked it up and put it on the shelf. There was no way she was going to look at it tonight.
But a restless hour of TV later, and she found herself opening it again. She’d just look at Hope Valley Friends. Just see whether MisunderstoodGuy had been online again.
The message alert at the top of the screen was flashing. Her heart jumping, she clicked on it:
“Sorry, I didn’t see that you’d messaged me until today. I’m not very good at using the site.” And there was an embarrassed emoticon. She giggled, and started typing:
“No problem at all. I think one of the nicest things about our conversations is that we talk very often, but we don’t feel obligated. I hope to catch you next time you’re online.”
And then a private chat window opened. She let out a little gasp. He’s here!
MisunderstoodGuy: “You’re back! For a while there, I thought I’d lost you to the real world. Off on another adventure. And I was happy to think that you are doing something exciting with your evening. But, to be honest, a selfish part of me was a little sad too.”
A slow smile spread across her face. He’s such a sweetheart.
AdventureGirl: “I was catching up with an old friend. And last night, I think we just missed each other. But you’re not getting rid of me that easy.”
MisunderstoodGuy: “I like what you said about talking often, but not feeling obligated. Surely that’s the best kind of friendship. And I value your friendship, AdventureGirl. I hope you know that. Things haven’t been so easy in my personal life lately, and I often feel like I need to hide my true self. Actually, it’s very ironic. I never tell you anything concrete about myself, but I’m more honest with you than with anyone else in my life.”
AdventureGirl: “I’m happy to hear that. And I want you to know that you can share anything with me. I promise I won’t reveal anything you tell me to another human being.”
MisunderstoodGuy was quiet for a long time. Long enough that she was worried she’d overstepped the mark again. But then his reply popped up:
“I can’t explain everything, for reasons that I, uh, can’t explain. I’m sorry to be so mysterious. But – my father was not a good man. He impregnated my mother, who was from a very different family to ours. When I was born, he snatched me away from her, and prevented her from ever seeing me again. I don’t even know her name. Never mind where she is. He hoped to make out that my mother was someone from the extended family, but when I reached my teens, it became obvious that I only shared half of their blood. The family gave him an ultimatum: kick me out, or leave the family himself. And he chose to kick me out. At the age of sixteen, I had to learn to fend for myself, with no family, money, or connections. It was very hard for a while, but eventually, a very kind guy helped me out and gave me a job and a place to live. He restored my faith in people. But before I met him, I learned to act in a certain way to survive. And I think I’m just figuring out that it keeps people at a distance.”
As Kenzie read his words, her eyes stung with tears. She’d known there was something about him, something wounded. How could his family be so horrible to him? And then the answer hit her like a bullet: because some families are like that. Just like her own, who hadn’t lifted a finger to stop her cousin from bullying her into a marriage she didn’t want. She began to type:
AdventureGirl: “I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s heartbreaking. And I hope you know that none of it was your fault.… My own family haven’t been the kindest, so I think I can empathize a little with what you’re going through. I guess we have to learn how to heal from the wrongs of our past, and move on in our lives.”
MisunderstoodGuy: “I am trying, but I seem destined to keep tripping up.”
AdventureGirl: “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
MisunderstoodGuy: “Sometimes I feel like I have something inside myself that I can barely control. Like with my workmate. She has a good heart, I know that. But she rubs me up the wrong way, and I can’t help pulling her chain. And then she hates me. And then I have to make it up to her again.”
Kenzie grinned to herself thinking of Nash and his annoying ways. Who would’ve thought that Nash and MisunderstoodGuy would have anything in common at all?
AdventureGirl: “You remind me of when I was at kindergarten. The boys always teased the girls they liked the most. If a boy pulled your hair or stole your candy, it meant he really wanted to hold your hand in the lunch line.”
MisunderstoodGuy: “Lol. Guys can be contrary creatures. But no, not my workmate. She’s not my type. At all.”
AdventureGirl: “Fair enough. I hope she’s providing inspiration for your screenplay anyway.”
MisunderstoodGuy: “Uh – that. It’s kind of stalled at the moment to be honest.”
AdventureGirl: “I’m not surprised. Sounds like you’ve got lots of things you need to work through first. I imagine as a writer, you need to have a clear mind when you’re working.”
MisunderstoodGuy: “True. Hey, you know you can tell me about your problems too if you want. I’m a good listener and, of course, I promise not to mention you to anybody.”
Kenzie let out a long breath. A couple of times, she’d been on the point of telling him about her cousin and she wanted to trust him, so badly. But she just couldn’t do it. It was too risky. The only way that she could protect herself was by not exposing herself to any danger.
AdventureGirl: “Thank you. I appreciate that. Things are a little raw at the moment. But I’m sure in time I’ll burden you with my problems ;)”
At the reminder that her cousin was currently looking for her, sweat broke out on her palms again. More than anything, she wanted someone to reassure her that her cousin couldn’t hurt her. He couldn’t drag her back to Fairfield and forced her to marry him. And if she didn’t get off-line now, she was probably going to spill her guts to MisunderstoodGuy.
While her brain had slipped into panic mode again, he’d replied to her.
MisunderstoodGuy: “Anytime, AdventureGirl. I’m always listening.”
AdventureGirl: “It’s been real good chatting to you. I should go now, and I’m sure you’re keen to start your weekend.”
MisunderstoodGuy: “The pleasure was mine. Speak soon xx”
Kenzie’s breath caught in her throat. xx? He’d never left kisses at the end of his message before. But then, they’d never spoken so openly before either.
Nash closed his laptop and looked at his watch. He was already running late to meet the guys. But he hadn’t been able to tear himself away from his conversation with AdventureGirl. Did I really say all that stuff to her? It already seemed unreal. But it felt good too. As if a weight that had been pressing him down for a long time had been lifted.
He picked up his keys and headed out to his truck with a spring in his step, then drove off to meet the ragtag crew who hung out at Denver’s, and who he called his friends.
Nash awoke at 10 AM the next morning. Last night had been an experiment. He’d spent the entire night in the bar, but he’d drunk only light beer. He’d hung out with the guys and played pool, but he hadn’t insulted anybody. No girls had slapped him; no big burly guy has threatened to knock his block off. He
wasn’t covered in cuts and bruises. He’d just had fun. And he barely had a hangover.
He got out of bed, shifted, and ran into the forest to hunt for his breakfast. And once he’d eaten his fill and come back and showered, he picked up his phone and tapped the Shiftr icon. He’d been avoiding the app for the past couple of days. The knock backs he’d been getting from women were too brutal. But he felt stronger this morning. As the app opened and a stream of beautiful, curvy women filled the screen, he navigated to the profile editor, desperately hoping that it was possible to retake the questions. It was. He lay back on his bed and tried to think of himself not as Nash, but as MisunderstoodGuy – the guy that at least one person in the world thought was a decent character. Taking a deep breath, he began to answer the questions again.
7
Saturday had been an anxious, stressful day for Kenzie. A look at the Fairfield local news site had revealed that the reward for finding her had been raised to $25,000. Her cousin wasn’t giving up easy. She had no idea what to do. She could move further away. But she couldn’t keep running forever, she knew that. All she could hope was to stay hidden for long enough that he’d get tired of looking for her and come up with a different money-making scheme.
“And in the meantime, I’m a sitting duck,” she muttered angrily to herself.
At 6pm she stopped trawling around the Internet, sent MisunderstoodGuy a quick message to say she hoped he was having a good Saturday, then started to get ready for her dinner with Lauren and the girls. She was really excited to see them, and even though it was just a dinner at Lauren’s place, she made an effort with her appearance, applying her makeup carefully and picking out a soft black sweater and tight black jeans. She’d never been one to hide her curves under shapeless outfits – except for when she was at work. She figured that since everyone could see that she was a curvy girl, there was no point trying to hide it. And she knew she was lucky to have an hourglass figure, with a nipped in waist. She added flat, black pumps and left her long, wavy hair loose.
Shiftr: Swipe Left For Love (Nash) BBW Wolf Shifter Romance (Hope Valley BBW Dating App Romance Book 10) Page 5