Love Survives (Love Suicide #2)

by Jennifer Foor

  Written By:Jennifer Foor

  Copyright © 2014 Jennifer Foor

  JMF Publishing INC.

  All Rights Reserved

  Cover Art – Wicked By Design

  This book is a written act of fiction. Any places, characters, or similarities are purely coincidence. If certain places or characters are referenced it is for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. This book is not allowed to be offered for sale, discounted, or free on any sites other than Kobo, IBook’s, Amazon and Barnes and Noble. This book may only be distributed by Jennifer Foor, the owner and Author of this series.

  Marketing: INKSLINGER PR

  Beta Readers

  Georgette Geras

  Kayla Kennedy, Emma Clifton, Kristy Davidson, Catherine Roberts, Lara Petterson , Danielle Sanchez, Jennifer Harried, Teresa Coleman

  Acknowledgements:

  This book is dedicated to all of my family members who have served in the Armed Forces.

  Carl T Meyers

  Owen Schultz SR

  Owen Schultz JR

  Owen Schultz III

  Adam Schultz

  Gregory Scott Thomas SR

  Gregory Scott Thomas JR

  Kathy Thomas

  William Freed

  Michael Freed

  Mike Jones SR

  Lee Rosser

  Edward Zimmerman

  Intro

  Love isn’t always something we learn to feel or experience through years of heartbreak and personal endeavors. Though it can grow stronger, people aren’t able to choose when it will happen. Sometimes, in rare instances, it becomes the only thing we live for; the reason we keep striving to move in a forward direction. In other circumstances, it can be the whole reason we exist in this world. That kind of rarity isn’t one to boast about. Loving someone with extreme compassion comes with great agony, and even more patience. Feeling as if you can’t breathe is only the beginning of what could occur when your emotions play a part in the existence of such a powerful word. There have been days where I’ve woken up and wished it wasn’t there, hounding me from the depths of my core. I’ve always considered myself a strong man; one that could withstand extreme amounts of despair without breaking down. I felt like I could get beyond it, however, learned quickly that it doesn’t work that way.

  Imagine being in love with the same person since you were a young child, only to have them fall for your twin instead. This story I’m about to tell you is rocky.

  It will rip you apart and possibly put you back together again.

  I know this because it's my story.

  The pain and anguish in this story is what it was like to hold onto hope that some day we'd find each other again. I won't sugar coat the details of what I went through to have her, nor will I apologize for any actions that led me right back into Kat’s life.

  There is one thing I’ve learned from all of this.

  Sometimes love isn't enough.

  Sometimes it takes a little fate, some bad experiences, and a lot of time.

  Chapter 1

  My story starts from as early as I can recall my first memories of knowing she was everything to me. It was back when life was easy, and the only thing we cared about was how long we could stay outside to play at night. Katy Michaels wasn’t just a girl I met on the streets when I was out playing as a child. She was our next door neighbor, the only child of my parent’s best friends, and the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid eyes on.

  Even when we were small, young enough to be bathed in the same tub, or dressed in similar coordinating outfits for pictures, we’d formed a sacred bond. It wasn’t just the two of us either. My twin brother Branch was the third member of our elite group, and although we’d shared other friends, none would ever compare to the relationship that the three of us had. While young, we displayed different personalities. Branch was a jokester, always using ridiculous mockeries to grab Kat’s attention. I, on the other hand, was somewhat of a protector. I made it my life’s mission to make sure I was always around when she was sad, which gave me the benefit of learning to read her early on.

  It wasn’t hard to stay close when we lived only feet away from one another. We shared meals, holidays, and every memorable occasion. We were inseparable by fault.

  Back when we were too young to realize how complicated life could be, my feelings for Kat began to change. Her hair grew longer, her eyes were brighter, and when she smiled I did the same right back. There was nothing she could do to change my mind either. I felt like she was my angel and assumed someday she’d be mine forever.

  Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one who had those same aspirations. My brother Branch also found interest in Kat.

  As we grew older, we found ourselves falling into the pressures of being accepted by our classmates. At the age of twelve it was easy to admit that my plans of becoming Kat’s boyfriend were quite obvious.

  While Branch used his cockiness to get under her skin, I was always the person who had her back. I wanted her to feel like she could count on me for anything.

  One night we all agreed that we’d practice kissing though admittedly my intentions weren’t only to master the craft. I’d been dying to press my lips against hers, and with that anticipation came a lot of nervousness. She wasn’t just some friend; this was my Kat.

  Right before my brother and I headed out to meet her in the tree house, he stopped me, acting weird and irrational. He didn’t make it known that he was claiming first dibs, but I could tell from the way he was acting that something was clearly up with him. Being twins gave me that ability. “Don’t get bent out of shape if after tonight she only wants me.” Branch announced.

  “Did you practice on your pillow?” Banter was normal between the two of us. It was something my brother enjoyed, and in a way it had become how he’d learned to communicate when he was nervous or afraid. This gave me an advantage from the get-go.

  Lucky for me Branch was in fact a pussy. He couldn’t bring himself to kiss her, which gave me an added benefit.

  At first I was shaking profusely. Our lips met and the shock of it all made me lose control. I was unhinged, forgetting what I was supposed to be doing with my tongue. The utter disgust in myself made me pull away.

  Branch laughed at us. “I knew you wouldn’t do it right.”

  That was all the motivation I needed to give it another go. “Come on, Kat, let’s try it again.”

  I leaned forward, only closing my eyes after I looked into hers, hidden behind long strands of hair that were always in her face, back then. I had no idea how this very moment would seal the deal for me, utterly and completely. I took my time, memorizing, savoring, and trying not to become embarrassingly aroused. Being this close to her was too much for me to handle. Even as our bodies remained parted while we embraced, it was still enough to make it difficult, to say the least.

  After a few long seconds Branch had seen enough. He made a snarky comment, announcing that my time was up. “Let me show you both how it’s done.”

  Opening my eyes to see her pulling away was unbearable. My brother shoved himself between us to get his own fix. I’d never in my life been jealous of him. We’d learned to share before we came out of the womb, yet this circumstance introduced us to what it felt like to want something completely for ourselves. While they took their moment together I could feel myself turning; the disgust of it all hitting me like a deer in headlights. I hated that he was kissing those
perfect lips, wiping away remnants of mine. He was distorting our perfect moment, damaging how innocent it all was.

  While stewing in anger, I heard our mother calling out to us. It was time to go inside for the night, and a part of me was relieved. It meant that Branch had to get his grabby hands off of Kat.

  While I stood there watching him running inside, I turned to see Kat doing the same. An instant reaction caused me to reach out and take her by the hand. “Thanks for being my first kiss, Kat.” She looked down with a huge smile across her face as if I’d embarrassed her by talking about it.

  She responded in a whisper. “Thanks for being mine, Brooks.”

  I looked down at the ground and kicked some rocks, feeling overwhelmed by how close we were to each other. Those lips, so sweet, were calling my name. I was experiencing many emotions, but mostly an intense need to feel them again. “So can we try it one more time, so we’ll be sure we got it right?”

  Kat shrugged before leaning her body close to mine. As soon as our lips touched, our tongues played together. A jolt of unexpected pleasure rushed through me, causing me to react by continuing our embrace.

  Then I heard my mother’s voice, calling out to me for a second time. We broke apart and looked at one another for a single moment.

  “I gotta go.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turned to begin running away from me. Even though I started to do the same, I couldn’t help but freeze and look back to watch her.

  It was in that moment when I knew she’d be my future. “Bye, Kat.”

  Once inside I had to hear a bunch of crap from my twin. It began as soon as my foot hit the top step in our two-story home. Branch was standing in the hallway, waiting with his arms folded across his chest. “What took you so long?”

  The look in his eyes was discerning. I could tell he already knew exactly what had went on when he left. Because I didn’t want to hurt my brother, I gritted my teeth and looked away. “It was nothing.”

  “It looked like more than nothing. We agreed to one kiss.”

  “It’s Katy, Branch. It’s not like it’s some girl you like. We’re all friends. Leave it alone.” I needed to go to my room before he saw right through me. Unlike my brother, it was impossible for me to stand before someone and lie.

  “Maybe I do like her. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t kiss her again, and if you do it behind my back I’ll make sure to tell her things so she hates you.”

  “Stop being such a jerk, Branch.”

  “I’m not being a jerk. She told me herself. She said she only likes you as a friend. She said she’d never be interested in you that way. The chances of her ever picking you were slim anyway, not when she has me. Just because you act like a pussy and kiss up her ass doesn’t mean she likes you more. Girls aren’t like that. They want the tough guy, who makes them laugh. They like the ones that are hard to get, not the guys who follow them around like a lost puppy.”

  As I turned to walk away I closed my eyes, wishing I hadn’t heard that. She didn’t feel the way I did about her. She liked him more. There was nothing left to say. We’d been taught to be respectful of each other. Our parents had instilled values that I appreciated. Even at twelve, I couldn’t see anything, including Kat, coming between us. If I didn’t know how fickle my brother was perhaps it would have bothered me more. Maybe I would have stood my ground and fought for Kat back then. I couldn’t have seen that it was the first step in my demise; what would lead me to break and eventually have to flee. I should have known he was full of crap, saying whatever he had to in order to get under my skin. Back then I was too naïve to fathom that he could be blowing smoke just to have an advantage. Up until this point I didn’t think he had it in him.

  None of us could have known that the next day would change us forever.

  The ride to school was obviously quiet. I was unable to even glance at her without wanting to kiss those lips again. Looking back, I know it wasn’t just puberty beckoning me to explore. It was something deeper that came from my heart, not the muscle between my legs. Even after hearing she wasn’t interested, something kept telling me not to give up. If there was some slim chance that she could change her mind I’d be there waiting for her.

  Once inside of the classroom it was obvious that the teacher was upset about something. We’d done fire drills, and even discussed circumstances such as shootings, but this seemed worse. As she delivered us the first bout of news, I looked back to find Kat worried. I stuck out my tongue to make her smile, knowing it was only temporary. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my brother staring at the two of us. I turned quickly to prevent him from thinking there was more to it.

  As the minutes passed, we were all sent to wait for our parents. The three of us expected Kat’s mother to walk in and rescue us from another dreadful day full of lessons, but unfortunately she never stepped foot in our school again.

  It was a day that would live in America’s hearts forever; a day that we lost so many of our own from terrorism. My mom said nothing on the ride home, but it was obvious she was frantic for answers. Once my dad came home it was clear that they were desperate to find Kat’s mom. We all assumed it was only her dad that we needed to fear the worst for. Hours passed, with my parents clung to each other, watching the news for a glimmer of hope, while we stayed back keeping Kat far away from seeing the aftermath.

  It wasn’t like any of us, including the adults, could prepare for something so tragic. We didn’t know what to say, or how to act. Her pain could be heard as she flooded a river’s worth of tears. It got even worse when the truth was revealed.

  On that day, September 11th 2001, Kat not only lost her mother, but also her father to the attacks on the Pentagon. We didn’t know the reason, not that it even mattered why. All any of my family cared about was protecting Kat from the extreme amount of pain she was going through. As the days passed, and the horrors became her own reality, I watched my best friend, and the girl I’d fallen in love with, lose herself. She put up walls and seemed lost in the truth of it all. It didn’t help that every channel on the television had coverage of the events that took her parents lives. Seeing the videos playing out, watching the building crumble, it was inevitably difficult. Her parents had been our family too. We’d called them aunt and uncle. We’d loved them our entire lives.

  A day or so had gone by before my mom was able to obtain the recordings from their home voicemail. It was then that Kat heard her parent’s voices for the very last time. In their last moments alive they sent her a desperate plea to be strong and know they loved her more than anything else in the world. In my honest opinion it only made matters worse. Kat was destroyed, and I don’t know if she’d ever be able to forget what they sounded like in those last seconds they were with us on this earth. It was obvious that she’d lived with that memory, dwelled on it, until she lost herself completely.

  From the very beginning our parents both pulled us aside one night to talk about it. My mother carried a tissue in her hands while she paced the small study. Dad sat back in his chair watching her with concern. “Boys, what’s happened is tragic. We still don’t know all the details, but Katy needs us to stay strong for her. It’s imperative that she not see us crying or upset.” My dad wasn’t always outspoken, but it was very obvious they considered Kat family. In his own way he was hurting too.

  “What happens if they’re dead?” Branch asked.

  “Don’t talk that way,” our mother interrupted with more sniffles.

  “She’s right, Branch. Don’t say that. Think of Kat. She needs them to be okay.” Even though I was wondering the same thing, I couldn’t bring myself to admit it like my brother.

  “Sorry, but it could happen. What then?”

  “Then we take care of Katy. We give her support and love.” Our dad folded his hands as he spoke, looking over at both of us the whole time. “Do you understand, boys? It’s necessary to stay positive. We can’t give up hope.” It was weird, but I watched him turn
to my mother when he said it, as if he was sending some kind of innuendo just for her.

  Branch and I watched our mother march out of the room, seemingly disgusted.

  When we turned to our dad for answers he faked a smile. “You’re mother is just upset. She’ll be fine.”

  In those days following the death of her parents I put my personal feelings for Kat aside. She needed her two best friends, so that’s what Branch and I provided her with. We stayed by her side, even when we had nothing left to talk about. I held her hand when I knew she needed an extra amount of comfort. I cried when I knew she wasn’t around to see it, and come the day of the funeral, I held it all in to be the rock she needed me to be.

  It wasn’t just Kat that was suffering though. I couldn’t remember ever seeing my mother so heartbroken before. Her tears were genuine, and I knew why. I’d been keeping a secret of my own for a long time, hoping that maybe my eyes had been playing tricks on me that night. I couldn’t believe that it was more than a friendly embrace. Yet, somehow I now knew it had to have been. Something had been going on with my mother and Kat’s dad; something taboo that could tear our families apart. There was no need to bring it up to my father, or even mention to my mother that I knew why she was having such a tough time. Mr. Michaels was dead, and whatever was going on between the two of them was irrelevant. I couldn’t shame my mother even though for a while I kept my distance. Now, more than ever, we had to become one family. Kat’s future depended on it. I depended on it. We needed my parents to stay together, so we wouldn’t be ripped apart anymore.

  I’ll never forget the day they found her parent’s remains. Kat had to be comforted by adults while Branch and myself were left to prepare for what we would say when we got our chance. In the tree house, where we’d shared so many good memories, the two of us discussed what we could say to Kat.

  “I’m going to tell her a joke, not a bad one either. I’ll find the funniest thing I can, and make sure she smiles,” Branch announced.