by Pam Weaver
‘I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Ruby. Thamesview is well known. It has a good reputation and many of the guests come back year after year. I bet Leonora Wheaton had to struggle to build it up again after the war. You’d lose all that. You’ll end up like every other seaside boarding house along this stretch of the esplanade.’
Ruby took a sip from her drink, unsure where the conversation was going. She’d expected Tony to be all for modernising the hotel.
‘But it’s just so sedate,’ she said, feeling irked that he didn’t agree with her.
‘Is that wrong, then? I think it makes it different. And Thorpe Bay isn’t in the centre of town, not the best place if you want a family seaside holiday.’
‘Well, what would you suggest then, to bring it into the twentieth century?’ Ruby asked curtly.
‘That you get your uncle George to invest some cash into the property. It needs decorating inside and out, and the furnishings all need replacing. The armchairs in the lounge look as if they might collapse, the carpets are falling apart and the curtains are out of the ark—’
‘I can’t believe you’re saying that.’ Ruby interrupted. ‘I love the hotel—’
‘I know you do, but George has to be realistic about his investment. He has to either invest in it or sell it. The clientele will move on if it’s not renovated to reflect the prices.’
‘Suppose that’s not an option? Suppose Uncle George doesn’t agree?’
‘Then it’s his problem isn’t it? He shouldn’t be in the business if he can’t think ahead constructively,’ Tony said with a dismissive shrug.
As they talked further Ruby was distracted; she knew she was doing the wrong thing by talking about it but not telling him the whole story. She decided to change the subject to avoid saying the wrong thing.
‘I’m thinking about going to visit my mother. Ray will have told her about his visit so it might be a good time to break the ice. I feel happier with the thought than I did at the time, when Aunty Leonora had just died.’
‘Is that a good idea? You said you never wanted to see any of them. Why the change of heart?’
‘Because seeing Ray and talking to him, I’ve realised that I have nothing to be scared of any more. And I’d like to see my grandmother again before it’s too late.’
‘So you’re not just being nosy about your mother’s new husband? Your stepfather?’
‘Oh Lord.’ Ruby sat up in her chair and gasped. ‘I hadn’t even thought of that. A stepfather …’
‘Someone else to come and scrounge off you now they know where you are. You’re doing well for yourself, you don’t need those people in your life.’
Ruby suddenly felt irrationally defensive. First he’d told her the hotel was a dump and now he was criticising her family. But she said nothing; she knew it was her own fault. He only knew what she had told him about her family, and none of it had been good. She wanted to say that things had changed, that she’d been sixteen when she’d run off and now she was older and knew better. She wasn’t scared of anyone any more.
‘Anyway, time marches on and I’ve got to get back now. I’ll think about what you said and talk to Uncle George.’ Ruby stood up and kissed Tony on the cheek. ‘Good luck with the book-keeping. I’ll see you tomorrow evening still?’
‘Of course. Cinema and dinner. I’ll call for you at seven.’
‘That’ll be nice.’
Ruby slid out quickly while Mr Alfredo’s back was turned. She couldn’t face another round of compliments and hugs from him or his wife.
She turned right and meandered back past the line of shops, looking closely as she walked. She realised that they looked as decrepit as the hotel did from the outside, and she was ashamed she hadn’t noticed it before.
She’d arrived down in Southend after the war when the town was slowly returning to normality and trying to encourage the visitors back. Leonora had told her a little about the trials and tribulations of the town in the wartime lockdown but Ruby hadn’t been interested; she had been too wrapped up in her own misery to care. But now she was looking around and noticing how the townspeople must have suffered. Especially those with small hotels like the Thamesview.
She crossed the road so she was opposite the hotel and stood looking up, really studying it for the first time. Suddenly she was shocked at how neglected it looked. Tony was right.The paint was peeling off the woodwork, the railings needed attention and there was a general air of grubbiness about it. She could see that Leonora had made the right decision in continuing to focus on widows and single woman, and many of them returned year after year, but there weren’t many new guests. She would have to talk to George and see what he thought.
‘Tony the Great was here looking for you,’ Gracie said as Ruby went back into the hotel.
‘I know. He found me on the beach paddling in the mud like a five-year-old. We went to the café. It wasn’t open but the parents let us in anyhow. Tony’s spending the day doing their books for them. He’s good at things like that. He has a very organised mind.’
‘You seem bright and happy. Do I sense wedding bells in the air?’ Gracie laughed. ‘Oh dear God, I don’t think I could have him as a boss. Makes me feel like Little Orphan Annie when he looks me up and down.’
‘Oh, he’s all right in his way,’ Ruby replied. ‘He’s just been spoiled. Anyway, I could ask the same of you. Are you going to marry Sean? You’re getting on a bit, you know. You’re older than me, you’ll be up there swinging your legs on the old maids’ shelf soon.’
When Gracie didn’t answer immediately Ruby opened her eyes wide and stared. ‘No … Has he asked you? Why didn’t you tell me, you secretive cow?’
‘He’s not asked outright but I know what he’s thinking.’
‘And? If he does ask?’
‘I don’t know. He’s hard-working, not bad-looking and he loves me. What more do I want? I was head over heels once and look where that got me. As soon as I told him I was expecting he was off and I ended up in that bloody awful place. Sean wouldn’t do that to me …’
‘You’re not pregnant now, are you?’ Gracie asked.
‘Of course not. I’m not that stupid, you know.’
Ruby went over to her friend and hugged her tight.
‘Blimey, what’s that all about?’
‘Because I sometimes forget that you had an even worse time than I did. If it’s any help, I think Sean is a really nice bloke and I think it’s better to have someone who really wants you than to go looking for the moonlight-and-roses stuff and then get dumped.’
Gracie stared at her. ‘Some speech that, missy. I’ll try and remember it!’
‘You do,’ Ruby said with a smile, before turning on her heel and going to the office to think about getting the hotel done up and also how to pay for it.
Twenty-Three
‘I’ve been thinking about taking you to the seaside for the day, you and the boys, what do you think?’ Johnnie Riordan asked casually as he and Sadie were sitting side by side in front of the fire. She was hand-sewing blue satin ribbon onto the edge of a romper suit for the baby and he was flicking half-heartedly through the pages of the newspaper. ‘We could take a picnic for the beach.’
‘Oh, that’d be so fantastic, Johnnie. The boys haven’t been to the seaside yet and I haven’t been for ages!’ Sadie shrieked, and leaned across to kiss him hard on the cheek. ‘When? Where?’
‘Southend. On Sunday. I’ve told Bill that I have to have at least one whole day a week with you and the boys and he’s agreed. He knows it’s hard for you so he didn’t mind too much when I laid down the law to him.’
‘Aw, I love Bill, but it is boring being stuck here all the time with just babies to talk to. I miss the Black Dog.’
‘Well, Sunday it is then; a day out. Let’s hope it doesn’t rain.’
‘I don’t mind. It’s been so long since we went out on a day trip.’
Johnnie couldn’t help but smile. It cheered him no end th
at Sadie was so happy at the thought of a family day out, but at the same time there was an underlying niggle of guilt because he wasn’t doing it for her. He was doing it for himself.
Johnnie had tried hard to put the postcard out of his mind and concentrate on his life as it was, but it had nagged away at him constantly from the moment he’d seen it four months before.
Ruby Blakeley. Thamesview Hotel. He told himself over and over that the girl he once knew was now history and that he had no interest in her; that he just wanted to know she was OK. He’d thrown the card away for fear of Sadie finding it but the address was imprinted in his mind and there was no way he could erase it without checking it out. He needed to resolve his feelings and put Ruby Blakeley back into the past.
‘Time for bed, Mrs Riordan,’ Johnnie said with a wink as he stood up, aware that Sadie was in a good mood. ‘Up those stairs with you …’
‘Come on then, Mr Riordan, show us what you’re made of,’ Sadie laughed.
He quickly checked the locks, clicked off the lights and then followed his wife up to the bedroom, smacking her gently on her backside as they went. When she was like this it was like the old days. They’d had a highly charged relationship that thrived on excitement and instant sex, but back then her moods had always stayed within the boundaries of normal highs and lows.
But she’d changed the moment they were married. She was no longer Sadie Scully, the barmaid, the life and soul, whom everyone fancied, but Mrs Riordan, the wife with two small children and wider hips than she’d ever had. He didn’t mind her hips at all, but she did, and it depressed her.
When they were in their own little bubble Sadie was as happy as could be; it was when the outside world, especially Johnnie’s family, intruded that she dropped right down into the depths of paranoia and depression.
Next morning Sadie was already downstairs cooking breakfast and dancing around to a tune on the wireless when Johnnie came downstairs. It bothered him that she had such extremes of mood, but at least if she was happy then he wouldn’t get too much of a grilling when he went to work.
‘Still looking forward to Sunday, I see,’ Johnnie laughed, and hugged her from behind as she stood at the stove frying eggs. ‘Well, so am I! We could go down the pier, get the train, go on the boating lake, drive from one end of the seafront to the other … Do you remember when we went there before we were wed?’
‘I remember. That was when it was just us. Now we’ve got children and you don’t fancy me any more.’
‘Not true. We did all right last night, didn’t we?’ He hugged her again. ‘Do you know anyone with a fold-up type pram that can fit in the car? I’m sure I’ve seen them. Or even a carrycot on wheels for the little ’un. I can carry Martin when he’s tired, and we could even top and tail them.’
‘I dunno. I don’t know who to ask.’ Sadie frowned.
‘I’ll ask Betty. She’ll have one in the loft; she never throws anything away.’ As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew he’d put his foot in it.
‘I don’t want my boys in someone else’s pram, especially hers.’
‘OK.’ he soothed. ‘It’ll just be easier or we’ll have to carry them both. That Silver Cross thing would need a lorry to take it anywhere.’
He laughed to try to distract her from her irritation before it built up into something else. Again.
She put his breakfast on the table and grinned. ‘Go on then, ask Betty, but don’t dare ask them to come with us. This is going to be just us and the boys. A real family.’
Sadie was still in a good mood when Sunday came round and Johnnie watched as she happily gathered up everything for the day and piled it all into the Ford Consul. She was dressed up to the nines, with full make-up, high heels and her hair piled high. He thought it was a bit too much for a day at the seaside but he didn’t say anything, he was just relieved she was happy. She packed his precious car full to overflowing, and Johnnie was pleased that Bill Morgan wasn’t around to see it looking like a removal van, but within a few minutes they were on their way to the seaside.
When they drove down Chalkwell Avenue to the start of the seafront Sadie was like another child in the car, clapping her hands and laughing. Nine-month-old Paul was asleep in the carrycot in the back and two-year-old Martin was on his mother’s lap in the front.
‘Look Marty, it’s the sea … look at the sea … look at the boats!’ She turned to Johnnie. ‘They’re fishing boats, aren’t they?’
‘I’m not sure. They might be cockle boats. I don’t know the difference, but whatever they are they’ll go out on the tide later on.’
‘I’d love to go on a boat.’
‘We could see if the pleasure steamers are running. If not it’ll have to be the boating lake.’ Johnnie looked sideways and laughed. ‘What do you want to do? Go for a drive along the front or park up and go somewhere first?’
‘Let’s park and go for a ride on the pier. Marty will love the train, then we can have our picnic on the beach at Westcliff.’
Johnnie hid his disappointment well. He wanted to drive along to find the address on the postcard. Just to have a look.
‘OK. We’ll just drive along and get our bearings and look for the best place to go for our picnic on the beach later on.’
He drove slowly from end to end with his arm on the open window, trying to look casual, but he was actually looking hard for the sign ‘Thamesview Hotel’. He drove all the way along the front up to Shoeburyness, then turned round to drive back. His disappointment was hard to hide but he did his best.
Then on the way back he saw it: a large white three-storey property set back from the pavement. The first-floor balconies jutted out over the front garden and were protected by permanent canopies. It was a large property that at first glance looked too small to be a hotel, but an ornate sign on the front that said ‘The Thamesview Hotel for Ladies’ in big black letters told him he’d probably found the right address.
The only thing he didn’t know was if Ruby Blakeley really lived there or if the postcard was some sort of joke. The building just didn’t tally with where he had imagined Ruby would be.
‘This looks a really nice place for a picnic. It’s not crowded. Shall we come back here after the pier?’
‘Looks a bit quiet to me,’ Sadie said.
‘But after all the excitement of doing all the things we want to do, the boys will need a nap and we might need a bit of peace and quiet.’
‘I suppose …’ Sadie said without much enthusiasm.
‘We’ll decide later then.’ Johnnie appeased her as he always did.
He continued driving back towards the pier and then parked as near to it as he could.
They crammed both children, one each end, into the borrowed carrycot and caught the train to the end of the pier before walking all the way back and spending time in the amusements on the other side of the road. Johnnie did his best to make sure everyone had a good time but he was really just itching to get back to the part of the beach that was opposite the hotel. It certainly wasn’t the best part of the beach for a picnic, with a concrete slope and just a small strip of sand before the mud, but he convinced Sadie it was perfect. He collected two deck chairs and carefully positioned them near one of the seaweed-covered breakwaters, then put the carrycot with a sleeping Paul in the shade of it.
Then he sat in the deck chair that gave a perfect view of the hotel doorway and left the other, which faced towards the sea, for Sadie.
She’d packed quite a spread into the picnic basket, and as she laid it all out carefully on the rug Johnnie started to feel guilty all over again. His conscience was shouting at him to gather everything up and go right back to the other end of the promenade, as far away from the Thamesview Hotel as he could get, but once it was all spread out he told himself it was too late. He had no choice but to stay there.
The longer they sat there the more Johnnie started to relax and enjoy himself. Martin was happily trying to make mud pies with his bab
y bucket and spade, and he was making Sadie laugh. It was a perfect family day out and Johnnie promised her they’d do it more often.
And then he saw her.
It was the hair that he saw first and then the person. He wasn’t sure he would have recognised her if it hadn’t been for the hair. The dark red hair was the first thing he had noticed when he’d seen her sitting on her suitcase in Elsmere Road and it was the first thing he noticed now.
Red, he had called her then. Ruby Red. The coltish young girl who was far too young and innocent for him. Now she looked so tall and ladylike that it jolted him. He stretched out in the deck chair and watched carefully so Sadie didn’t see him looking. She didn’t know Ruby or anything about her, but she hated Johnnie even glancing at another woman so he knew she’d sit up and take notice if she got even a hint of Johnnie’s wandering attention.
He didn’t move a muscle as Ruby walked down the two front steps of the hotel with another woman about her age and the two of them crossed the road almost where the Riordan family were sitting with the remains of the picnic between them. His heart thumped with the fear of being caught, of Ruby seeing him and saying hello. It was so fierce he was sure Sadie would hear. He wanted to run but there was no way of escaping without being spotted.
‘Are we mud-paddling today, my Lady Ruby of Thamesview, or is wandering round with your skirt in your knickers on a Sunday a bit beneath you now?’ The other woman’s voice carried, as did her laugh.
Ruby laughed. ‘Stop taking the mick, you. I’m up for a paddle if you are!’
‘I’ve got me best slacks on,’ the other woman said in mock horror.
‘Roll them up. If I can tuck my skirt up then you can roll your trouser legs.’
‘’Spose I’ve got no choice.’
Without even glancing at them the two women walked within a few feet of the Riordan family to the edge of the mud, took their shoes off and left them on the sand. Ruby gathered her skirt up and the other woman carefully rolled the legs of her slacks up to her knees and held on to them.