by D. Griffith
“Oh, yeah.. The boyfriend, I don’t have to tell you that. Anyway, what does he have that I don’t?” What a smug, arrogant piece of shit. I intake a deep breath and build the courage to say.
“Let’s see! He’s sweet, kind, good natured, good hearted, really handsome, amazing body, great in bed, oh and he don’t beat the shit out of me. See, he’s a real man not like you.” He’s going to kill me, but at this moment I don’t care, I need to distract him while I’m trying to loosen my hands, so I shout. “So, where is he?” He is mega pissed now; I can see the frustration in his eyes. He comes roaring towards me and wraps his hands around my throat shouting.
“Stop asking, you horrible bitch, you don’t look or talk to me in that tone. You’re never to see that so called of a man again, have you got that?” He pauses himself, for a slight second and shines that crooked side smile, in his evil manner. Which I remember, it’s hard to forget that look. “Besides, after what I did to him, I doubt he’ll wake up.” I shake my head in disbelief, this can’t be true. No, just no, please don’t be dead. That’s it, all the fear has gone and I’m consumed with rage. I spit into his face in disgust and scream at him.
“You monster, I swear I’ll kill you, you repulse me.” There it is, the malevolence in his face, the same look he had when he stabbed me. He grabs my throat and throws me to the floor and starts kicking me in my sides. I’m screaming in excruciating pain.
After a few more boots, he turns me around, at this point my hands are loosening up, so to distract him, I try and say. “So, this is what it has come too, beating me up while I’m tied against a chair? You’re losing your touch Dillon.” I start to cough up blood from the impact of his kicks; he grins and pulls out a knife. He points it towards me.
“Do you remember this? It’s like déjà vu all over again.” I close my eyes and pray it’ll be quick, as giving up is so much easier. As I’m praying, a memory comes flashing back to me, it’s a memory of Jared saying, no fear! I whisper to myself ‘no fear, Danni.’ I need to fight this for Jared, you can do this. I say it once more ‘no fear’ he hears me. “What is that you’re saying?” Through the pain, I laugh to myself, with the joy of them words and repeat myself.
“No fear.” Yes! I’ve got my hands free; he comes close to me and goes to bend down. I gain all my strength and kick him with both legs, sending him flying backwards. This is my opportunity to run. I jump up and run for the door. As I’m running across the landing for the stairs, my heart is pounding, it sounds really loud. I’m panting, I can barley breathe and all I can hear in the background is him shouting.
“Run as usual, you pathetic, weak little girl, I will catch you.” I ignore him and carry on running for my life. I’m coming to the last few steps and I trip over my own two feet and tumble down them. Luckily, they wasn’t that many, but as I tumbled I twisted my ankle, it hurts, but I can’t stop, I have to keep moving, I have to find Jared. I limp towards the kitchen. As soon as I get there, my jaw drops; oh no! All I can see is a lifeless body in a puddle of blood. I try and sprint towards his body and kneel down next to him. I place my ear to his mouth to listen for any sign of breathing, there is nothing. Oh please don’t be dead. More fear comes upon me, as I see a massive wound planted on his head, where he’s been hit, which is still leaking out with blood. I can’t stop crying out shaking him.
“Jared, please wake up.” I place my index finger and middle finger together and press into his neck, checking for his pulse. “Come on Jared, don’t be dead.” I keep saying. Yes, I can feel his pulse pumping; I shake him more, saying once again. “Wake up Jared, come on wake up.” Tears are flowing down my face; at the thought of him being dead, it’s heartbreaking. This would have never happened if we didn’t meet. All of a sudden, the door swings open as Dillon enters. He’s holding on to his knife, throwing it back and forth in each hand saying.
“Well, darling! That was not very nice was it?” I slowly stand up at the sound of his voice and burst out.
“Why? Why would you hurt him? This has nothing to do with Jared.”
“Yes it does, it has everything to do with him, seeing you and him around everywhere with him all over you and you’re my women for god sake.” I cringe at the sounds of them words ‘my women’ I start walking slowly backwards, as he’s walking forwards and stops as he reaches Jared.
“Stop saying that, I’m not your women. You where nothing but a big mistake, I wish I never met you. You have the cheek to call me weak and pathetic, well guess what, so are you. You get your kicks out of abusing women and hurting other people, if you ask me that makes you the weak and pathetic one, you low life scum.” I shout.
“I’m pathetic, really?” He looks down at Jared and full on kicks Jared in his stomach, over and over again.
“Stop it! He’s already helpless lying on the floor knocked out.” It doesn’t work; he boots him again and again. I can’t be seeing this; he’s hurting him even more. The tears are still strolling and I can’t seem to stop them. He boots him one last time and stops and says.
“Ok, one question, are you a hundred percent sure that you actually really know him? I mean everything about him?” I’m puzzled at that question. Why even ask me something so stupid? It’s none of his business.
“Of course I do, it’s not like it has anything to do with you. Now my question! How did you get passed security? He starts walking closer towards me now and I’m backing into the cupboards behind me so there’s nowhere for me to run, but it’s easier for me to grab the hand object; I’ve been keeping in the draw. So I keep talking back, to keep him distracted until I get a firm grip.
“That’s easy, I have my own connections you know and this person really hates Jared, so I didn’t have to ask twice for their help. Basically, we hacked his email and told everyone of his security to go home, as we wanted some alone time. It was pretty easy. Anyway, as I was saying, he has secrets you know? And its massive, he really does not want you knowing.
“He wouldn’t keep secrets from me, he tells me everything, he loves me.”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, he does love you! I read it in his journal and surprisingly quite a lot of it is about you, it kind of made me want to throw up. But... the real question we really want to know is.. Have you told him you’re secret?” My bottom lip starts to fall in sorrow, knowing where he’s going with this, I say in denial.
“I haven’t got a clue what you’re on about.” He nods and starts tutting towards me and slightly bending his neck.
“Danni, since when did you start lying? You know in his journal, he says how much you’ve had an effect on him and that he didn’t believe love existed until he met you and he has actually found the girl of his dreams, the one for him who he can see himself settling down with. You know, the whole nine yards, getting married, having kids.”
“Shut up, you bastard.” I shout and pull out the hand gun from the draw.
“Oh.. Well things have just got serious.” He laughs at the situation. I can see Jared moving slightly, what a relive! I want to run to him, but I’m keeping this gun on Dillon, he can’t hurt me anymore, the prick. I can hear Jared trying to speak, it’s low and painful.
“Danni, don’t! You’re better than him; don’t let him do this to you. I pay no attention, I’m too far gone and all I see is this monster who needs to be stopped.
“Go on, Danni! Pull the trigger, you know you want to. Tell him while you’re at it, that his dream of having a family is zero while he’s with you.”
“Danni, don’t.”
“Danni, do it.” I have them both talking to me at the same time. Jared telling me don’t and Dillon saying do. I feel like my head is about to explode. I can’t think straight between their shouting. I close my eyes trying desperately to drown them out, but to no avail. I feel the scream burst its way out from inside me.
“Shut up, the both of you.” I hear his crooked laugh saying.
“You’re too weak, Danni! Oh so fucking weak! Why don’t you tell
Mr. Hall the truth about our little secret? Tell him how I ruined you for others and made you unable to do the one thing that women are supposed to be able to do.”
“Shut up.” I say, over and over again, not wanting him to say the truth, because if it’s said out loud, it will break me. He keeps laughing, so much cruelty in one laugh. “Shut up, I won’t tell you again, don’t you dare.”
“You can’t have kids.”
I tremble with the truth, something I yearn for and yet I can’t have them, all because of him. Before I know it a bang is let of where I pull the trigger. In agonizing pain, he screams the house down, with the impact of the bullet to his left knee and falls to the ground. I walk closer towards him as he’s trying to say something through the pain he is feeling. “You missed you idiot, I told you that you’re too weak.” Another bang is let of without hesitation, where I pulled the trigger again, this time hitting his right knee, so he’s unable to walk. The entire house is filled with his screams. “Who’s the weak one now, you son of a bitch.” I shout and walk closer stalking towards him, knowing that he can’t grab me as he lays helpless on the floor, just like the way he used to make me feel. I’m trying hard to fight this deep darkness that has overcome me, but I keep thinking, why fight it? I should end his sorry excuse for a life, as he has ruined mine in the long run. I think about everything he has done to me, all the joys he has taken and I’m been sucked down into this cold, dark place where all I want is vengeance, so I place the gun to his forehead. “You deserve to die, after all the misery you have inflicted.” From the corner of my eye, I see Jared has stumbled to his feet and trying to get to me. As he struggles to get his words out, he eventually speaks.
“Danni, don’t do this, he’s not worth it. You’re better than this, do not let the darkness take over. Once it consumes you, it will be hard for you to come back from. Trust me, I know! Please. I don’t want to lose you like this.” I ignore him as I bend down so that I’m face to face with Dillon.
“I think you may find that, you’re the weak and pathetic one. Look, you even pissed yourself, now I get the last laugh.” I hit his temple with the handle of the gun, which knocks him out. I take a deep breath and place the gun down, trying to control the constant shaking of my hands, my eyes well up and the tears flow down like a waterfall. I head towards Jared, to help him gain to his feet. I place his arm around my shoulders and wrap my free arm around his waist, holding him steady as I walk him to the sofa in the lounge. I slowly place him down, leaving him to go and call the police. After a few minutes, the ambulance arrives. I just stand there and drift off to the back of my mind, comforted by the warmth of Jared and the knowledge that I am not a monster, I am not like him.
Chapter Seventeen
I hear loud footsteps, rushing around and a voice talking.
“Miss Shaw, I need you to sit down, so we can check you over. This is useless; she’s in too much shock.” I pay no attention at all; my head has gone into overdrive. I’m slowly making my way through, but my vision is blurred. I can make out paramedics attending to Jared; I listen to what they’re saying.
“He’s passed out; we must hurry and get him in to hospital as soon as possible.” I’m still finding it hard to acknowledge everything. There’s a bright light shining through my eyes and asking me questions. “Miss Shaw, what happened? Are you ok? Are you feeling nauseous? Where are you hurt?” All I can do is nod, as I can’t speak right now, as I’m trying to figure out how all of this has happened and the fact that Jared would’ve never got hurt, if he’d never met me, I did this to him. A massive guilt comes gushing over me, then suddenly; I come back to earth when I realize oh no, Jared.
“Jared, where is he? Please tell me if he’s ok?” I panic.
“Miss Shaw, we need to get you both to the hospital.”
“No! You’re not listening, where is he?” Why are they not listening to me? I need to know if he’s ok.”
“Miss Shaw, you’re in shock! We need to get you to a hospital. I’ll take you too Jared, once we’re at the hospital, but for now you need to come with us.”
After arriving at the hospital and having been checked over. I wasn’t hurt too badly. I’ve got a broken rib, where he booted me, a few bruises here and there, a bit of a black eye! Also not forgetting the psychological damage, but I’ll be ok.
I go and ask one of the nurses could they take me to one of their patients, Jared Hall. The nurse looked at me thoughtfully, but didn’t argue and granted my request to see Jared straight away.
“Is he going to be ok?”
“That’s not for me to say, sorry! You’re best talking to his doctor.” She walks me to his private room and tells me to wait near reception while she goes and finds his doctor. I do as I’m told and wait patiently, hoping it’s not bad news. Shortly after she comes back with the doctor and calls me aside.
“Hello, I’m Dr Dean; I specialize in these types of injuries.”
“Could you just tell me straight please? What’s wrong? Don’t milk it for me; just tell me how it is?”
“Fair, enough! Well we have to give him a cat scan, to see if there is any damage to the brain. A blow like that could cause TBI, so we need to check if there is any signs of damage like a tumour, bleeding of the brain. There’s a good chance he got lucky and they’ll be no damage, but we have to take these precautions, but obviously we’ll know nothing till the test’s come back.” My heart sinks, at the thought that he may have serious damage to his brain, how could this happen to him? He doesn’t deserve this, I’m such a curse.
“Can I see him please?”
“He’s on conscious, but of course you can. Make it quick, as he’ll be going down for his scan shortly.” A lump forms in my throat and it feels as if it’s about to close up, but I have to ask.
“How long will he be out for?”
“That depends on him; it could be a few hours, to a few days, possibly longer.” I nod as I walk into his room. Walking in and seeing him hooked up to a machine. Oh wow, it feels like someone has ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it. I turn around quickly, I can’t look at him, this has to be the first time I’ve seen him vulnerable, helpless, my poor man. Get it together Danni, Go to his side, my self-conscious keeps saying, makes me feel even guiltier. So I inhale a deep breath and close my eyes and head back to be by his side. I drag the chair closer to his bed, I cross my legs, fold my arms and look around the room, anyway I can get out of looking at him. I hate hospitals; they freak me out and remind me of when I was in here. I still have my self-conscious yelling at me to look at him, I just don’t want to feel the guilt when I do, but that’s me being selfish, I can’t be doing that.
I finally give in and have a quick glance, but just as I knew, the guilt overwhelms me and I have to fight back the tears. I move closer towards him and place my head next to his shoulders; I raise my eyes up and look at him. His entire colour has drained from his face, he could do with a bit of blusher, but he would probably kick my ass if I did that. I can picture his face in horror going, ‘what the hell are you doing putting that girly shit on me? I’m a man you know? We don’t do that shit, so not cool love.’ I giggle to myself at that thought. I wish I knew what to say. I’ll give it ago; let’s see what I come up with. I’m announcing all of this to myself. I’m sure if someone could hear me, they’d think I was crazy. I grab his hands, awe they’re cold.
“Here baby, let me warm them up for you! They’re freezing.” I place one under his hand and one on top and start rubbing them to try and warm them up. I’m not good at this, I feel stupid and what do I say? I guess I’ll just go with whatever comes out of my mouth. “Hey, erm.. So I just wanted to say that I’m sorry this has happened and I know you can’t hear me, but a piece of hope prays that you can. Please wake up; this should’ve never happened to you. I hope you know, how much you mean to me.” I look down to the ground once again, to stop myself from screaming the place down. A sudden sound behind me makes me jump! I turn around, to see a n
urse trying to grab my attention.
“Sorry to interrupt you, but I need to check the machine, we have to check it on the hour.” I nod and walk out the room, as I’ve had enough. I want a coffee.
After about an hour has passed, I head back to Jared’s room. I feel constant eyes staring at my every move as I’m walking by them. There is patience, their visitor’s even people that work here, there all staring. I hate this, at least it safe to say its hit the news already, that’s just great, just what I need. I need to focus on erasing there looks, by ignoring them. I can’t help but think how I could’ve prevented all of this from happening, maybe if I went into protective custody as Andi said! But of course, I had to moan about it.
As I’m approaching Jared’s ward, I notice a tall woman looking into his room.
“Excuse me, can I help you?” I ask, as she turns around quickly. Immediately, she sends cold shivers down my spine. I look at her appearance, she has blonde bobbed hair, quite scraggy looking, like she hasn’t paid it much attention in a day or so. She is wearing bright red lipstick that goes with her bright green eyes, badly drawn on eyebrows and fake tan that looks orange. The only nice thing that I’m looking at is her fake nails, which are actually really cute. She is wearing high heeled shoes, with a PVC pencil skirt and a massive fur coat. Ewe, seriously, who is this woman? She looks me up and down, with a crooked half smile spreading across her face. Before she can say anything, I spit out, because she still not said a word. “Can I help you? Or are you just going to keep staring at me like I’m your lunch?” She tilts her head to the side and raises her so called eye brows at me.
“Feisty! I do apologies, I was just leaving.” She says softly.
“So.. Are you going to tell me why you’re staring in on my man? Let me guess, a fan right?”
“No and no.” I huff; I really cannot be bothered with these games. I turn away and go to head into Jared’s room. “Danni!” How the hell does she know my name? Oh yeah! Suppose everything would have been plastered all other the place now. I do not like the way she keeps looking at me, she really is freaking me out. I turn to face her, but all I can do is shake my head to say, well come on lady, what’s your problem? She still doesn’t say anything, but is still glaring at me with that creepy smile. I swear it’s just gone cold in here, maybe an ice queen?