by D. Griffith
“Thank you, Diana.” Once I’ve finished, I stay for a while longer for a chat, were she’s telling me lots of stories, from when I was younger with my family. It’s mad how when you grow up, you forget so much. She’s invited me over one night to dine with her and the family. I felt uncomfortable, but I couldn’t say no, it would be rude. Who knows, it could be fun.
*****
Right, let’s give this ago. I grab the axe and whack the log; it makes me jump as the log went flying off to the right. Oh crap, was that supposed to happen? I’ll go grab it. You are kidding me? It didn’t even spilt, suppose getting the edge doesn’t work. I laugh at my stupidity, I should try that again, but I best call my brother and see if he can tell me what I’m doing wrong.
“Hey, Adam! I need your help, I’m trying to chop logs for the fire place, but it’s not working very well. I whacked it, but I got the edge, I’m guessing I’m not supposed to do that?” Instead of saying, hi Danni! How are you? All I get is laughing, what a jerk.
“You, you’re trying to chop logs? That is hilarious, I wish I could see. Give me a minute to stop laughing. I can picture you breaking a nail and freaking out.” I swear, I’m going to kill him.
“Adam, I’m not that bad! It’s only a bit heavy. I can do it without breaking a nail, you ass.”
“Ok, how did you have your hands?”
“Why does that matter? Never mind, I had both hands at the end of the handle. Is that not right?”
“No, it’s not! Bless yeah, you need to have one on top of the handle and one at the bottom. You’ll have a good grip, better accuracy and more strength to swing. Go give it ago, but keep me on the line so I can hear, this is going to be funny.”
“Seriously? Fine! I’ll put you on speaker. Right Adam, can you hear me?”
“Yeah! Go after three.” I do as I’m told and position my hands ready, but he’s distracting me by shouting through the phone.
“Watch you don’t break a nail, Danni.” One, two and three, woo I did it, victory dance. Someone high five me! Damn, no one here.
“Adam, phone five me.”
“Ha-ha, phone five! You did it then?”
“Yeah, couldn’t you hear me?”
“Yeah, it was hard not to with your shouting high five. Right, Danni! I’ve got to go; I’m off to see Andi.”
“How’s she doing?”
“She doing well, she’s still shocked. They want her to stay in hospital a little while longer, just to keep a close eye on her and the babies.”
“Have you told them I’ve left?”
“I have, but I’ve not said where you went. She was pretty pissed about you leaving.”
“That’s understandable. Have you heard how Jared’s doing?”
“He checked himself out, the doctors advised him not to, but obviously he didn’t care to listen. No one has heard from him since! Not even his sister.”
“Oh, right. He emailed me last night; he didn’t share that information, what an idiot. All he said was that I should go and seek professional help.”
“Seriously? What a dick! He has no right saying that to you, you’re not a nut job and you don’t need to see anyone, especially if you’re uncomfortable. Plus, that would be your decision, not his, the prick.”
“Adam, it’s ok, I wasn’t offended; he’s just looking out for me. Plus, you shouldn’t say that about the girl you’re dating, brother.
“Where not dating, we’ve just been out a few times. I refuse to talk to you about this, it’s far too weird. Bye baby sis and relax, no worrying, no stressing, you didn’t go there for that.”
“Ok bro, I will! All though, I was thinking, running off to the middle of a forest just after a crazy person caught up with me, was not a bright idea. I’m forever looking over my shoulder, in fear someone is going to jump out at me.”
“You’ll be fine; I doubt he’d get that far with two holes in his knees, thanks to you. So if you feel scared, just think of that. Plus, I’ve got a feeling you’ve got someone watching over you. Ring me tonight or I’ll ring you and check in, bye.” What does he mean, someone watching over me? That’s not made me feel any better, if anything it makes me feel worse. Forget it, I best get back to chopping logs, otherwise I’ll be freezing tonight.
*****
It’s been a few weeks now and I’ve finally started to get myself into a routine. I get up and have breakfast, fight with the fire place, then tidy. Afterwards, I go for coffee at Diana’s, I even offered to help out a few times, as it gets boring just sitting here. I actually went and dined with them the other day, shockingly I had fun, Elizabeth and her brother, Tyler was there. Tyler was my first love; he actually lived with his grandparents back home where we lived, him and my brother where tight.
Elizabeth has two children now and married and Tyler’s engaged. It was fun trading old stories, from when we were kids.
Today, I’ve decided to stay in and relax; I found some old boxes which I’m going to go through. I rang Adam to find out what they were; I thought it was odd that they were some random boxes in a holiday lake house. He told me it was stuff from when dad died and we got the house and he didn’t have the heart to throw away. When we were old enough to leave, we sold the house, as none of us really wanted to stay there. So the stuff he kept, he boxed and brought here for free storage.
Which one do I start opening first? I’ll go with the one that has a big red cross on. Why would he put a big cross on it? I don’t understand my brother sometimes. I find in the box some random shoes, some beautiful dresses, perfume, make up. Why would he keep these? He could have given them to a charity shop. I find a picture at the bottom of a young woman, who looks to be in her twenties, she looks like me. She’s with a young man around the same age with their arms around each other. I turn to the back of the picture and it says, ‘Lilly and Dave,’ awe that’s a young mum and dad what a hot couple. I understand why he’d keep the picture, but why would he keep mums stuff? He should of binned them or take it to charity, after all, she did leave us when dad passed. I’m disturbed by a loud knocking at the door. Who the hell could that be? I head towards the door as there continuously knocking; I look out the side window. Well I didn’t expect this, it’s Carl.
Chapter Nineteen
“Carl! Why are you here? Please say it’s not bad news?” I ask.
“Baby girl, is that how you greet an old friend? Come here.” He holds his arms out for a hug, he squeeze me tight and says. “Are you going to invite me in?”
“Oh, yeah! Sure. Sorry, I’m just shocked to see you here.” I move aside and gesture him to walk straight in, I have a quick glance outside, hoping he’s not been followed.
“Don’t worry baby girl, I’ve not been followed! Come in and shut the door, its cold out there.” I do as I’m told and walk towards him as he stands in the middle of the lounge gazing around the room. “Wow! This place hasn’t changed one bit, some good times here.”
“Carl, it’s not that I’m not happy to see you, because I am, but can you tell me why you’re here? And how did you find me?”
“Well, after I went to the hospital to see how everyone was doing, I found out that Jared had checked himself out, Andi was hardly talking to anyone and you where M.I.A so it had me and Darla worried. I couldn’t get anything out of Andi, so I went to your brother; he was reluctant to tell me. He just said, he didn’t have a clue but maybe you’ve gone to get some space away from everything that’s going on and you’ll pop up when you’re ready, but your brother can’t lie through his teeth, I knew that he knew where you were, but I respected it and left it for a few days. Then Darla kept worrying in case you’ve done something stupid, I reassured her you’d be fine, but as a few more days went on and we never heard from you, we started to panic. So I started to think of places you’d run off to when you were younger, but none of it planned out well, until I found a picture of us at this lake house one summer when we came with you. It was near that bench in the front next to the lake, reme
mber that one? Anyway, it came to me then, that this was the only place you felt safe. So I called your brother and asked. He told me that he shouldn’t be saying this because he swore to you that he wouldn’t, but you could do with someone there, because you still sound depressed and could do with a cheer up. He clarify you where here, but don’t worry, he made me swear on mommas life that I wouldn’t tell a soul. So now I’m here and staying with you for a few days. Have you got a problem with that?”
“No! It’s not a problem at all, the company will be nice. So did you lie to Darla? Or did you tell her? I understand if you’ve told her, I know she can keep a secret. I just wanted no one knowing where I was, the less that knew, the safer it was for everyone.”
“Well baby girl, I didn’t lie to her, but I never told her either. She’s going to her parents for a few days; they’ve got to go through some wedding arrangements. Yo, like really, so not for a man, all that organising is a women’s job, especially when it comes to weddings, as you girls go all crazy. As I was saying, I told her that I was going to find you and when I did, I’d be staying with you for a few days. I also told her to trust me, as I’ve known you since we were babies, so if anyone can find you, I can. Which come on girl, I was right, where’s my high five? Don’t leave me hanging.” He holds his hand up high for me to slap, I keep my arms folded across my chest and raise my eyebrow at his cocky outburst. “Come on baby girl, don’t leave a man hanging. I won’t put my hand down till you smack it.”
“Oh fine.” I smack his hand and made a big clap sound, I hit it too hard. Ouch, I shake it hoping that gets rid of the sting. “Better?”
“Yep!”
“Well, seeing as I’m stuck with you for a few days, you can make yourself at home. You can use your room, it’s still the same. Well it was the spare room but you claimed it, as we couldn’t get rid of you. If you don’t want that, you can always use either Andi, or Adams room.”
“Danni! Let me get this of my chest first. Whether you wanted to be alone or not, you should of told us and don’t give me any of this bull shit about protecting us. Me and you man, we’re like rock, you should have told me. You went crazy at me for not telling you about asking Darla to marry me and you do something reckless like this? Even Darla for that matter, you’ve known her forever too. You should have never pushed us out like that, three musketeers, always and forever. No matter how old we are, we’re always there for each other. Personally, it was selfish making us worry like that, especially after what happened the night before, when that vermin came to you. Right! Now I’m going to apologise for calling you selfish, I shouldn’t have said that, I feel guilty now, I get carried away. Let’s hug it out now, and then we’re cool.” I don’t argue back and I give him what he wants. Typical Carl, he will rant at you, give you a right old telling of and then apologises because he feels guilty. I tap his back and ask.
“Feel better now that it’s out your system?”
“Yeah man, I’m cool.”
“Go on, before I take you around the house, ring Darla and tell her. You’re right; I shouldn’t have got off without saying something to you guys. Make sure you tell her to keep it quiet, I don’t want Andi or anyone else knowing where I am.”
“Are you sure? I mean, Andi is your sister baby girl.”
“I know, but she’s still pretty pissed at me and blames me. Not like I can’t blame her for it, because she right. Please make sure you tell Darla that.” He walks over to the boxers and goes to call her. I listen in to their conversation, to see if Darla is mad at me too.
“Hey, beautiful!” Yes I’ve found her, I told you I would. She’s fine, ok, she just needed space to try and clear her head. Baby girl, is messed up.” I’m not messed up, the cheeky git. I carry on listening, she don’t seem to be mad at me, that’s good. “Don’t worry babe, I will! You know I’ve got baby girls back. We’re at her parent’s lake house, do you remember it? Anyway, she requested not to tell anyone and we have to respect her wishes, ok babe? Have fun with your folks, love you! Bye.” I snap at him telling him I’m not messed up, he just rolls his eyes at me to say whatever. Arrogant shit.
“So, would you like some help going through these boxes?”
“Yeah, come on.” I walk towards him and we kneel back down to the boxers ready to scramble through them.
“Wow! Is this all your mums stuff?”
“Yeah! I don’t know why he kept them; we should have a little bomb fire and burn it all.”
“Wouldn’t you rather keep them? I’m sure Adam kept them for a reason.”
“I’m guessing he kept it all, in hope that she’d return home. He always hoped she would, she never did, even through tough times. She didn’t even come to see me when I was in intensive care, seriously, what sort of mother does that? Even when she was around she was horrible to me, Adam and Andi, where her favourites. Me, she didn’t have the time for, plus she always treated me different, if I did something wrong, I’d get a smack, the others would just get told off, but dad made up for that because I was his favourite.” I say that with much pride, I was always a big daddy’s girl. “I think the only nice gesture she did, which I’m not sure if it was genuine, was her sending a huge check to each of us from time to time. Andi and Adam would always get more. I think it was her bid for our forgiveness. It never worked, that or she thought she was trying to be a good mother, not a dead beat one. You know sometimes, I would feel like I never belonged, with the stuff she used to say to me.”
“True baby girl, you’re right she was a bitch to you! I remember it all. Do you ever think, it could’ve been that she was jealous of you? And one day you’d out shine her? After all, you did love being the centre of attention.”
“OI!” I smack him on the arm, the douche bag. He laughs at me and carries on saying. “We shall burn them later and maybe this old animal face jumper. Oh god, Danni! This was your favourite jumper, it was horrid, but you pulled it off.”
“Really, Carl! You want to go there? Give me a sec.” I scramble quickly through another box, it has to be here. Ha, I found it. I pull out another jumper. “You had one just like it. See, yours was just as bad. You moaned at your mum for one, because you wanted the same as me. So don’t you get all judgemental over mine. I actually think, we have a picture of us both wearing them. Hold on, I’m sure it’s in one of these boxers; Adam wouldn’t have thrown that out on me. Found it, told you we had one.” We both burst out laughing at that memory. “Oh Carl, you were such a chubby kid.”
“Yo baby girl, that’s hurtful, I was not chubby, I was big boned.”
“Awe Carl! I was only playing, I forgot how self-conscious you where back then. Forgive me?”
“It’s all good, baby girl! I’m hot stuff now, check my abs out.” He pulls his shirt up to show off his abs, which is actually quite hot, very ribbed and muscular.
“Carl, put your abs away; I don’t want to be looking at that. Darla would kill you for showing your body to another woman.”
“It’s ok, she won’t mind, it’s only you! You’ve seen them before and she knows that.” He’s terrible.
For the rest of the day, we carried on going through the boxers and order take out. We had to go in to the village for that and we got talking about the old times, back in the day.
It’s around eight now and we’re making a little bomb fire and try not burn the whole forest down. Once it’s lit up, I gather up everything that’s going to get burned.
“Right, Danni! It’s time to burn all those bad memories. Have you got that list I told you to write earlier? That’s getting burned too, so we can erase all the bad that has happened to you and you can start fresh, then we’re going to get drunk. So first, throw all your mums stuff in the fire. Good girl, now I want you to read the list out loud once, then throw that in ok?” I take one last look at the list and say out loud.”
“My dad passing away, mum being absent and a bitch to me, Dillon for what he did to me twice and ruined my life so I can’t have kids, al
so for what he did to Jared and Andi. Last of all, for being afraid to live, that needs to stop.” I take one more look and throw it straight into the fire to watch it burn. We both shout in unison.
“Woohooo!”
“Well done, baby girl! Now you can start recovering properly.” We smile and sit around the fire watching all the bad memories turn to ash.
*****
The next few days, flew by. It’s getting on to around six in the evening and Carl is just about to leave. He’s just getting his last few items together. I’m glad he came, it was like old times. Helped me a lot, I’m not ready to go back yet.
“Right, baby girl! I’ve got everything. Are you sure you don’t want to come back with me?”
“I’m sure! But thank you Carl, for coming out! It helped me a lot and it was fun. I’ll be back when am ready.”
“Alright! But remember, Andi is ready to drop soon and mine and Darla’s wedding is coming up. You’re still coming right?”
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Plus, being the maid of honour, I have no choice. Come here and give me a hug.”
“Ok! Remember, you need to be at the fitting a week before the wedding and there’s only four weeks left, so don’t forget.” He wraps his arms around me once more and leaves. As I watch his car drive off, I take a big gulp to stop me from getting upset, because I’ll miss him. I really didn’t want to be alone, but I wouldn’t tell him that. Great, it’s just started to gush down with rain, that’s really heavy. I best get in and go around the house and make sure everything is secure.
I switch the radio on and there’s a forecast for a storm; luckily I got Carl to chop lots of logs for me, so I didn’t have to because I sucked at it. I shove extra logs on the fire to give me heat; I love to hear the roar of the flames. I went around the whole house and secured all the doors and windows, just like dad taught me. I’ve got my thick leopard print onesie on and my bright pink dressing gown, with fluffy pink boot slippers. I’ve got myself a chamomile tea, apparently it’s suppose to be a relaxing, de stress drink. It tastes vile but I’m drinking it anyway.