Shit.
She couldn’t. This was just stupid. She didn’t even know him properly. It had to be something hormonal, because this didn’t feel rational. Online he’d always been nice and funny and friendly, and they’d always liked bantering and pretend-flirting. Apparently that had gotten to her, and now that she liked how he looked in real life, she overreacted. Yeah, that had to be it. That, and the relief that he didn’t show any signs of being a rapist or general creep.
There was still a bit of steam, remnants from her hot shower, rising from her when she returned to the living room in her footless teddy-bear onesie. Cane in hand. The onesie was to make it clear she had no ulterior motives, the bare feet to make sure he’d be suitably disgusted.
“Isn’t that the one you wore to the slumber-party dual stream you and Delicia did a couple of weeks ago?” Trent asked, giving her a once-over.
“Yup, the very same. I didn’t know you watched that,” she said. Trent didn’t seem to even notice her cane. Or her foot. No, his eyes were focused on her face, framed by brown fuzzy fabric.
“It’s cute,” he said, then turned his attention back to the livestream playing on the middle monitor, where Delicia’s team cheered at the victory over a particularly tricky boss-monster.
He’d folded out the couch and changed into PJs. Or rather, what Addie assumed went for PJs. Plaid cotton boxers that looked new with sharp creases and a very faded, previously black t-shirt with Yoda’s face on the chest.
“I’m kinda impressed with the socials, both in our group and Delicia’s.” He nodded towards the monitor. Yeah, Addie hadn’t even noticed what he was watching.
“Me too. I was a bit worried we’d fail hard, but they did better than I hoped for.”
“Do you want to leave Delicia’s stream on all night?” He yawned and stretched, and Addie couldn’t help but notice the muscles on his stomach when the t-shirt rode up. If she was to reach out and tickle him, or worse, blow a breath across the smooth skin, would they ripple? The thought made her quiver, and she had to grip the cane tighter.
“Jeez, when do you have time to work out?” she said before she could stop herself.
“I don’t,” he said, patting his stomach. “This is courtesy of working for an office-moving company. Do you work out?”
His question was innocent enough, but Addie saw it as the perfect opening to make sure he noticed her foot. Self-preservation. She needed it. “Not with this foot. I can barely walk properly, and pain doesn’t exactly turn me on.” She shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal, but kept her eyes on him, wanting to see for herself how he’d show and then try to hide his disgust.
He finally let his gaze drop to the scars and twisted toes. Addie had anticipated his mouth to transform into a grimace, or for him to recoil and look somewhere else, but he just looked at the foot for a few seconds and then back at her face. “Were you in an accident? Because my cousin’s foot looks a bit like that, too. She goes swimming since she can’t jog.”
Addie didn’t know what his words made her feel. Relief, dread, hope—all that and more. None of which she should feel, because this was Karaash, and they had two more days of raiding to do with the guild, and she couldn’t let things get awkward when so many people relied on both of them to be there and do their jobs. Not to mention they had two more days of sharing her house and computers … and if she wanted to make this marathon stream a success, they’d be sitting very close to each other tomorrow.
“Well, I’m off to bed. Sleep well,” she said abruptly. She needed to get some space between them before she did something stupid, like pretend her foot gave in so she could fall into his arms. “Just leave the stream on if the sound from the computer doesn’t bother you. You can just shut the monitor off.”
She hobbled off, not even waiting for a reply.
Saturday
Addie groaned when the first notes of the Indiana Jones movie main theme woke her. She fumbled for her phone and shut it off. Already? It felt as if she hadn’t slept at all, even though she’d fallen asleep within minutes of her head hitting the pillow.
She sat up straight when she remembered what waited in the living room. The raids. And Kara—no, Trent. Damn it. Shit. She needed to wear something that shouted “not interested”. If not for Trent’s benefit, then for the livestream viewers’. Something that hid her in case her body started going haywire because she had to sit so close to him. Something like the dinosaur onesie. The viewers loved it, and it was even further away from sexy than the teddy bear one.
She rushed through a very quick shower, just to get rid of any possible night sweat. If she put some extra effort into brushing her teeth, it could be forgiven, right? Bad breath could be distracting. It could make the raid wipe.
Trent slept on the couch, one arm above his head. He looked so peaceful and cuddly that Addie almost climbed in under the covers with him. Instead she forced herself to go into the kitchen and get the coffee started. She made enough noise to wake him up from a safe distance. Going anywhere near him when he looked that adorable was too risky, too tempting. She needed a strong caffeine potion to make sure she could resist her urges.
Soon enough she heard the bathroom door open and close, and then…
Ohmigod, the shower. He’s in my shower. Naked.
Addie had to sit down at the thought, milk splashing onto the dining table in the living room as her hands shook. Damn hormones! And self-control, did she have any? Could she buy some online? He wasn’t that hot. Not like Jason Momoa in Game of Thrones. Right? There was no reason to go all wet puddle at his feet—even if she could let herself. Which, again, she couldn’t. Because, reasons. Game. Guild. Raids.
For the first time she resented the game and the guild and her loyalty to the people in it. For the first time, ever, since she started playing it five years ago, she felt trapped by it. She might not be the most social person, not the most easygoing—either physically or mentally—but there was still more to her than her online persona.
She didn’t meet new people. Not in real life. She didn’t go out much, content to get her social needs met online and together with her own family. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was, now that she’d met Trent in real life, she wanted to do something about it. She couldn’t let him slip her by, because chances were she’d never again meet someone like him.
And she couldn’t. She couldn’t do anything about it. She had to pretend not to be attracted to him. She’d have to keep their banter up in front of the guildmates and the viewers and not in any way let anyone, especially Trent himself, figure out what she really felt. That every time she made an innuendo she’d mean it, for real.
The shower turned off. Addie scrambled to finish breakfast preparations, desperately reaching inside her mind for some self-control. By the time Trent came into the living room and sat down at the dining table next to the laptop, she had almost succeeded.
Until she looked at him.
His hair was slicked back, the ends turning upwards at the neck. He’d shaved and smelled like some manly shower gel, toothpaste, and deodorant. Apparently he didn’t want to smell bad either when they had to be so close to each other all day. Nice. She appreciated it, but she couldn’t exactly tell him that.
He had on a fresh t-shirt and the same faded jeans as the day before, and appeared calm and collected, his eyes focused on the coffee and the cereal on the table.
“Good morning,” he finally said after having gulped down some coffee. “Hope you slept as well as I did.”
Addie nodded. “I didn’t think I’d fall asleep so easily, but I did.” She rose, held on to the table and reached for the cane she’d stupidly leaned against the kitchen door like she usually did. Except now the table wasn’t in there, but in the living room.
“Wait,” Trent said, and shot up from the chair. “I’ll get it.” Before she knew it, he was back with the cane, and with it came those tendrils of warmth that spread from inside her chest all over her body.
Hearing Trent clink the spoon against the bowl and rattle with the coffee mug in her home felt right. They talked a bit about the raids they were going to do, about the details of the setup and how they needed to sit and move the camera so the viewers would see more of Addie and less of Trent.
Addie still felt last night’s uncomfortable chair and posture in her shoulders and neck. Even her lower back complained a little when she sank down into her gaming chair. Seeing how many guildies were already online and waiting to raid with them made her forget all about it, though.
She exchanged a few words with them in the guild chat as she set up the livestream and ran the intro, and tried not to be so aware of Trent who had taken his place next to her. He was in the way when she needed to adjust some sound setting and the camera. Ooh boy. The fresh scent of him filled the air. And she needed to breathe. This wouldn’t be easy. But fun. It could be fun, if she played up that angle.
“Goooood morning!” She willed the words to sound hyped up. Energetic, bouncy even, as she usually appeared when streaming. “I’ve got good news, folks. Karaash didn’t kill me in my sleep.” She shot him a sideways glance. Not that the camera was live yet, but hell. If she had to suffer she’d make every single one of her female viewers suffer a little too. The camera was focused on Trent’s face.
“Okay, so admit it. You all thought he has green skin and tusks. Me too. Turns out he’s, well, fairly normal looking. For a human.”
She moved the camera’s view into the live area. Trent looked straight at the camera, and shot it one of those looks. Addie stared at the screen, a second of vertigo rushing through her. She cleared her throat.
“Well. Yeah. That’s him. You expected something different from our main tank, right? Something in more plate armor with a huge axe? I know you’re all disappointed, but hey, we’ll take what we can get, right?”
Like the day before, being live felt great. Before long, Delicia’s team had finished their raids and the other stream ended. Bonemasha got Addie’s and Trent’s team going. Focusing on the raid and the stream gave Addie the energy and momentum she needed to put on a good show.
She had so much fun it was unbelievable. She ignored all the catcalls in the stream chat, ignored the underlying nagging wish that Trent actually meant the playful flirtation. This was all business as usual, the only difference being that he sat right next to her, so close their elbows sometimes bumped into each other. Which caused all kinds of funny and desperate situations in the game, of course, and jolts that tore through Addie’s whole body every single time.
Trent proved himself a natural entertainer. He was better at keeping an eye on the chat than she was, and she’d always thought she was fairly good at it. Sure, he could see the stream chat better than she could, because when she looked at it, she saw a transparent reflection of his face on that screen. Curse that old crappy monitor. She should have retired it ages ago. Besides, she needed to keep her eyes on his health bar. Yup. Even in between the fights in the game.
Fortunately, between Bonemasha’s directions for the raid team and Trent’s banter with the viewers, all she really needed to do was play along. React to the jokes by chuckling at the camera, or sighing, or filling in quiet time with comments about things that happened in the raid.
After two whole raids that went mostly well, they took a break for lunch. Addie turned off the camera and started a re-run of some of her most epicly failed streaming moments. No matter how many times she played it during breaks, the viewers loved it.
She rolled her chair back and stretched.
“So. Lunch. I brought some noodles to geek out to. You okay with that?” Trent had shot out of his chair as soon as she turned the camera off.
“Sure. We can order pizza tonight, though. It is Saturday after all…” Addie couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at the speed with which he put distance between them. Not that she’d expected anything else, but that was… Just what she needed. Distance. Maybe a cold shower. And time away from the public eye, time away from the raids and time to somehow find out if this was just her and some misguided need for real life social contact, or if there was more to it. Did he feel any of these thrills and chills that shot through her when their elbows touched or their eyes met? Did he have to struggle to keep his focus on everything except her?
Surely he didn’t. Why would he?
Sunday
“So, there you have it, guys. That’s all for Karaash and me and our raid group. These streams turned out a little different than I thought, but I’ve had so much fun this weekend that I might just do it again—after I sleep a full week or two.” That was all too true. She looked so tired by now that her viewers commented about it in the chat.
She shifted in the chair. Her back ached, too, and all she wanted was to flop down on the couch and not move for hours.
“I know I couldn’t talk to you guys as much as I usually do, but then, I suppose Karaash entertained you well enough. But we’ll be back to normal tomorrow, and Tuesday. Then as always, I have Wednesday and Thursday off, and a less hardcore-streaming weekend coming up.”
She said her normal outro with less gusto than usual. Trent waved goodbye to the camera as well and stood up to get out of the way. Addie quietly turned off all the extra programs, leaving only the game running and Delicia’s livestream open. Now she had only a few moments left with Trent. She didn’t want him to leave.
“I don’t remember the last time I had so much fun,” Trent said as he started gathering his stuff. He moved slowly. He must have been as tired as Addie, if not worse, seeing as she at least had slept in her own bed. “Thanks for letting me come over,” he added, gathering up some used coffee mugs and cereal bowls.
“You don’t need to clean that up,” Addie murmured. It made her heart twist that he helped with those small things.
“I know, but I want to.”
“How about some coffee before… before you go?” She hoped he’d say yes. That he’d stay a little longer, although every minute he was close it became more difficult to control herself. She kept reminding herself that it wasn’t worth it. If he rejected her, or if they got together and it didn’t work out, she’d end up with a broken heart and the guild would be down one of the best tanks she’d ever played with. Still, even knowing that, she couldn’t deny that it felt like there was more going on between them. That, if she let it happen, if he was interested, it might just work out.
“Yeah, some coffee would be great. I wouldn’t want to fall asleep behind the wheel.” Trent disappeared into the kitchen and started clattering with the coffee maker.
“I meant I’d make it,” she called in after him. “Some house guest you are, not letting the hostess do anything…” she muttered.
He chuckled. “I was already in here. Anyway, if you’re still logged on, you could check your in-game mail.”
Addie’s heart skipped a beat. They had an in-game thing going, Karaash and her. They sent each other small gifts—well, sometimes not so small—and always used those exact words: ‘You could check your in-game mail’.
She rushed to the nearest mailbox and clicked it. There it was, Karaash’ mail from some twenty minutes ago. He must have sent it the moment he got out of the last raid. The subject line was only a smiley face. Inside was a wrapped gift, and a few words:
Thanks for the fun and the heals.
Let’s do this again soon!
<3
Karaash
With her heart slamming wildly in her chest, she opened the gift. A mini-pet popped into her character’s inventory space. A Pearl Dragon, no less.
“Shit, Karaash! This… oh wow, thank you! Does this mean I’ll have to pay your repair costs for a month until you make your money back?”
“I got a good deal,” he replied. Addie turned around. Trent stood leaning in the doorway to the kitchen, arms folded across h
is chest. He looked so pleased with himself that Addie couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I was so certain you’d notice,” he continued. “One of your viewers helped me out, someone who enjoys our little game as much as I do. So it’s not only from me.”
Addie clicked the icon in her bag and watched the animation as the little chubby dragon unfurled its wings amid a cloud of pearlescent shimmer.
“It’s awesome. Thank you so, so much,” she managed while running her character around and zooming in to admire the little hatchling.
“I always wanted to see…” Trent bit back the words.
“…yes?”
“…wanted to see your face in real life when you opened one of those. That was definitely worth every piece of gold.” He pushed himself away from the wall and dove back into the kitchen before Addie could process what he said. All she could do was stare and enjoy/dread the waves of chills that went through her. Thankfully she was sitting down already, or he might have had to scrape her quivering remains off the floor. Would someone who wanted to be just friends say and do something like that? She leaned towards a no on that question.
If not, then… she suddenly had a lot more questions. If things were as she suspected, if the answer to that question was what she dreaded/hoped for, she needed to… needed to what, exactly?
“Did your graphics card really break?” That was her first question? Way to go, Addie. Way to go.
“Yes.” Trent came back into the living room with a mug in each hand. “I loaded the dish washer while waiting for the coffee, by the way,” he said as he placed the mugs on the desk and sat down next to her again. He looked way too calm. Her insides were about to burst through her skin. Her thoughts were like a tornado, blowing through her mind so quickly she couldn’t grasp a single one of them.
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