Once Upon a Christmas Night...

by Annie Claydon

  ‘So you keep saying. Maybe another time.’

  ‘I’ll keep you to that.’ His finger found her wrist, caressing the soft skin at the base of her palm. ‘And what about tonight? Can I stay?’

  ‘I’m… I’m tired, Greg.’

  ‘I know. I just want to hold you.’

  She wanted that too. Even if it did seem somehow disloyal to her baby.

  He leaned forward, until his lips almost touched hers. ‘We could keep it simple. Do whatever comes naturally.’

  Jess gave up the unequal struggle. They’d covered enough ground tonight. Tomorrow was soon enough to tackle the rest.

  Greg was like an addict. He said he’d give it up, had actually managed to give it up for days on end when sufficiently threatened, but he always went back to it. When deprived of his laptop for more than a few hours he began to get jittery.

  There was no end to it. Taking Friday evening and Saturday off had only piled on the pressure. The following week he seemed busier still and correspondingly more distant.

  ‘Rosa called me last night.’ Jess had cooked their evening meal and was stacking the dishwasher.

  ‘Hmm?’ Greg didn’t look up from his laptop.

  ‘She said that she and Ted were leaving for Ecuador next week. They wanted to know if I’d like to go along.’ Rosa had offered her congratulations and tremulously wondered whether it was too early to ask if anyone else was buying her a pram. And if the answer to both questions was no, whether she might be allowed to take her out shopping for one.

  ‘Hmm.’

  ‘I said yes, that would be lovely.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘She seemed pleased.’ Rosa had been delighted.

  Greg looked up and focussed in Jess’s direction. ‘Good.’

  ‘You think it’s a good idea, then?’

  He looked at her, suspicion flickering in his eyes. ‘Am I missing something?’

  Jess got to her feet. ‘Yeah. You’re missing something. Do you want a cup of tea?’

  He nodded. ‘Love one. You’re such a star, Jess.’

  ‘Jess, are you free? I’ve got a friend of yours down here.’

  Greg’s voice on the phone sounded relaxed, as if he was smiling.

  He was still smiling when she got to A and E. ‘What’s up?’

  He jerked his head towards one of the cubicles. ‘Thomas Judd. You know him?’

  Jess couldn’t place the name. Greg grinned. ‘Ten years old, fair hair and a very cheeky smile. When I examined him I found he has a pacemaker and he said that he’d had it replaced about six months ago.’

  ‘Ah, yes, Tommy. Is he all right?’

  Greg nodded. ‘Yep. Involved in a car accident. Minor cuts and bruises and I’ve had the technician down to give him a pacemaker check to make sure that none of the wires were dislodged by the impact.’

  ‘Where is he?’ Jess scanned the cubicles. ‘I’d like to go and see him.’

  Greg caught her arm. ‘His mother’s here too. She’s pretty knocked about but she’ll be all right.’

  Jess nodded. Her first road accident in A and E had reduced her to tears, until Greg had taken her to one side, explained that this was one of those cases that looked a great deal worse than it was and had sent her back in to clean and stitch the cuts on the man’s face.

  ‘She doesn’t want Tommy to see her?’

  ‘No. His father’s on the way. ‘

  ‘I’ll go and sit with him. I’ve got time, I’m just about to take my lunch break.’ A warning frown clouded Greg’s brow and Jess ignored it.

  He opened his mouth and then thought better of it. Greg knew as well as Jess did that if he objected to her working through her lunch break he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. ‘Okay. Just for half an hour.’

  Tommy wriggled free of the nurse who was cleaning his cuts and hugged Jess when he saw her. ‘I’m very glad you’re here.’ He enunciated the words as if he were a spymaster, about to send Jess out on an important mission.

  ‘Well, I’m glad to be here. What’s up, Tommy?’ The boy was unusually uncooperative, batting away the nurse who was trying to tend to him. He’d already seen far too much of the inside of a hospital in his short life, and this level of treatment was something that he usually took in his stride.

  ‘Get off me!’ Tommy was clearly having nothing more to do with the nurse who was gently trying to tend to him. She winked at Jess and backed off.

  ‘All right.’ Jess sat down by the bed. ‘You can tell me what’s the matter and then I’ll finish with those cuts. Deal?’

  ‘Deal. Only I want you to do something first.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Go and look after my mum.’ Tears sprang to Tommy’s eyes. The kid who was so brave, hardly ever cried. Jess choked back the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.

  ‘Tommy, she’s got another doctor looking after her. He’s much better than—’

  ‘I want you!’ Tommy thumped the bed. ‘You have to go!’

  ‘What’s all this?’ Jess hadn’t been aware that Greg had entered the cubicle, and when his voice rang out behind her, it made her jump.

  ‘I want Jess to see my mum. She’s the best doctor in the hospital.’ Tommy explained the situation slowly to Greg, just in case he was having trouble comprehending.

  ‘Tommy, I’m not—’

  ‘Good idea.’ Greg cut her short. ‘But first Jess needs to see you, so she can tell your mum that you’re all right. And that you’re doing what you’re told.’ Greg folded his arms, a sign that he wasn’t having any nonsense. ‘All right, chief?’

  Tommy nodded wordlessly.

  ‘So when Jess gets back she’ll expect to see that cut on your forehead with a dressing on it. Which means that you need to keep still for Erica while she does it for you.’ Kindness had been vying with firmness from the very start, and Greg was clearly having trouble maintaining his authoritarian stance in the face of Tommy’s blue eyes. ‘I’ll bring you something to drink when I get back. What would you like? Some juice?’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. Just water.’ Tommy was interested in one thing only, and everything else was unimportant.

  ‘All right. But first of all I’ll take Jess to see your mum.’

  Greg closed the cubicle door behind them. ‘Bright kid. Knows how to work the system.’

  ‘He ought to, he’s had enough practice.’ Jess shrugged. ‘He’s not usually this awkward, though.’

  Greg chuckled. ‘I’d do exactly the same in his place. If one of my family was sick or injured, I’d do whatever I had to do to get them the best treatment I could.’

  ‘Is it okay if I pop in to see his mother?’

  ‘What, you were thinking of going back in there and trying to pretend you’d seen his mother when you hadn’t?’ Greg gave a snort of laughter. ‘Good luck with that one.’

  It looked as if Tommy’s mother had broken her jaw. Major swelling, contusions and bruising. No wonder no one had thought it a good idea to let Tommy in to see her. Jess smiled at the nurse tending her, and the nurse took the opportunity of someone else being there to slip out for five minutes.

  Gemma was lying on her side so that blood and saliva could drain from her mouth, and recognition flared in her eyes as soon as Jess sat down next to the bed. ‘I’m one of Tommy’s doctors from Cardiology. I’ve just seen him and he’s fine and being well looked after, but he’s worried about you. So I promised him I’d come to see you and find out how you were doing.’

  Gemma’s gaze never left Jess’s face, and Jess took hold of her hand.

  ‘Don’t try to talk, Gemma. Give me one squeeze for yes and two for no. Do you want your phone?’

  One squeeze. Jess hadn’t really needed to ask. She’d seen Tommy’s face when he’d got the messages from his mother, telling him that she was there for him. Jess reached for Gemma’s bag and found her phone, fumbling with it for a moment before she found what looked like the correct application, and held the screen up in fr
ont of Gemma.

  A smile for Tommy, drawn with his mother’s finger. A bit shakier than the ones that he used to receive when he was in hospital but that didn’t matter.

  ‘Here, you send it.’ Jess saved the image into a text and found Tommy’s name on the contacts list. His mother stabbed her finger on the ‘send’ button, and the time bar flashed up then indicated that the message had been sent.

  ‘There. He’ll be getting that right about now. I’m going to go back tell him to look on his phone.’ Just in case the nursing staff had found Tommy’s phone and managed to persuade him to switch it off.

  Gemma’s hand found hers and squeezed it.

  ‘Hang on in there, Gemma. Your husband will be here soon.’ For the life of her Jess couldn’t remember Gemma’s husband’s name, but Gemma was bound to know who she meant.

  Another squeeze.

  ‘Is there anything else I can get you?’

  Gemma’s finger pointed towards Jess and then her thumb jerked towards the door.

  ‘You want me out of here and go to see Tommy?’

  Gemma patted her hand then squeezed it once.

  ‘Okay. I’ll come back and see you again. In the meantime, just hang in there. I’ve spoken to the doctor who’s looking after you and you’re going to be okay.’

  Gemma’s eyes filled with tears and Jess dabbed at them with a tissue. Her thumb jerked again, towards the door.

  ‘Okay, I’m going.’ Jess’s eyes misted with tears. She knew that Gemma would rather be with strangers if it meant that Tommy had a friend with him. She would do the same for her own child. Suddenly she wanted more than almost anything to go and find Greg, to tell him.

  A quick thumb’s-up from Gemma and Jess turned and made for the door, scanning the space outside for Greg. A rattle from the bed behind her made her turn. Gemma’s arm was flailing back and forth in a repeating arc, banging against the bed rail.

  ‘Greg. In here,’ she called to him, and out of the corner of her eye she saw him turn. She didn’t need to question whether he’d come or not, and she ducked back inside the cubicle.

  Gemma’s eyelids were fluttering and she was groaning. Jess hurried over to her, checking quickly that her breathing was unobstructed.

  She felt, rather than saw, Greg enter the cubicle. ‘She’s having a seizure.’

  ‘Okay.’ Greg was at Gemma’s side, steadying her gently so that a sudden movement wouldn’t pitch her off the bed. ‘How long?’

  ‘Thirty seconds. A minute tops.’

  The motion of Gemma’s hand began to slow. ‘Good. She’s coming out of it now.’ He bent over her. ‘Okay, Gemma. You’re all right. Try to relax.’

  Gemma was slowly coming back. Greg was there, and however much it pained her to leave, Jess had somewhere else to be. ‘Do you need me any more?’

  ‘No, I think we’re good.’ Greg was smiling at Gemma, his hand reassuringly on her shoulder. ‘Could you ask Steve to come in here, though? And if you see the husband when he arrives, find out if there’s any history of seizures… ’

  He looked up from Gemma for a moment and their eyes connected. Just for a moment, but that was all it needed. After weeks of feeling that Greg was slipping away from her, that even when he was right there with her he was somewhere else, suddenly he was here. They were together.

  ‘Anything else?’

  ‘Go and check on Tommy.’ He was grinning.

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Get me a cup of tea?’

  ‘Sorry didn’t quite catch that one.’ She heard his exclamation of mock dismay as she turned on her heel and didn’t need to look back to know that he was smiling.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  IT WAS COLD up here. Jess wrapped her hands around her mug of tea.

  ‘This is… ’ Greg shrugged. ‘I don’t really know how to describe it.’

  ‘No, me neither.’

  ‘Let’s have a look at that photograph again.’

  She handed him the scanned copy of the photograph that she’d found, and Greg studied it. ‘So this window, here… ’ he ran his finger across the image ‘… is that one over there. And if I stand here… Yes, this is where the photo was taken from.’

  Jess went to stand beside him. ‘I think you’re right.’

  He looked around him. ‘So this was a ward once. Right up here in the attic.’

  She nodded. ‘Yep. They used it for cholera patients during one of the outbreaks in London.’ Jess shivered. The whitewashed walls, now lined with store cupboards, must have seen their share of suffering.

  ‘Do you know the date of this photo?’

  ‘Yes, it was written on the back—1851.’

  Greg was deep in thought. ‘Before Lister’s procedures were adopted.’ He shook his head. ‘These doctors didn’t even know that they needed to wash their hands. All they could do for infectious disease was put the patients up here. It must have been terrifying.’

  ‘They did the best they could.’ Jess looked for the hundredth time at the faces of the doctors and nurses, posing for the camera in well-ordered lines. ‘We wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for them.’

  ‘No.’ Greg sat down on a large, wooden crate, leaving space for Jess to come and sit next to him. His face was drawn into a mask of regret, and he seemed to need her close.

  ‘I didn’t think it would be this sad. I knew the facts and figures, how there were so many things then that couldn’t be cured, but when I see the faces… ’

  ‘Yeah.’ Greg put his arm around her shoulders. ‘See that kid in the bed there? Look at his arm, it’s so thin.’

  ‘Mmm. He can’t be much older than Tommy. How’s Gemma, by the way?’

  ‘She’s okay. They’ve wired her jaw and are keeping her in under observation. There have been no more seizures, though, and the CAT scan didn’t show any reason for concern.’

  ‘Good. Is that where you were just now?’ Greg had said that he’d meet her half an hour after the end of his shift.

  ‘Yes. I met her husband up on the ward. Nice guy.’

  ‘And how’s Tommy?’ Jess knew Greg. He wouldn’t have left without finding that out as well.

  ‘Good. Texting his mother smiles, the way that she did when he was in hospital.’ He grinned. ‘So you can cheer up.’

  Jess laughed. ‘Right. Consider me officially cheery. Do you have time for dinner tonight?’

  ‘Yes. In fact, there’s something I want to tell you.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I’ll tell you when we eat.’

  Jess searched in her handbag and found a couple of fruit bars. ‘Here.’ She handed Greg one and stripped the other of its wrapper. ‘We’re eating now.’

  He laughed. ‘I bet none of your Christmas presents last until Christmas Day, do they?’

  She shrugged. ‘Some of them do. But tell me now.’ Their time together was too precious to waste. Dinner was about the only opportunity they got to just talk about nothing. Be together, without the distractions that seemed to press relentlessly in on them.

  ‘I’ve made a decision.’

  That sounded serious. Maybe she should have waited. On the other hand, they were alone here. ‘Yes? What decision?’

  ‘I can’t keep on doing two jobs like this. Something’s got to go.’

  Thank you. At last he’d come to his senses. The cutting back on his hours at the hospital hadn’t worked, Greg was just as busy, just as tired as he’d been when he’d been working a full shift rota.

  ‘I think you’re right. You can’t keep this up for much longer.’

  He nodded. ‘So I’ve decided to leave the hospital. Run Shaw Industries full time.’

  She could almost hear the silence. Almost feel the seconds, painfully ticking by. She mustn’t do all the things she wanted to do—rage at him, cry and beg him not to do this. Greg wouldn’t listen. He was driven by the practical. She had to be calm. ‘This… Are you sure, Greg?’

  ‘Sure’s a luxury that even I can’t afford.’


  There was some hope, then. ‘Perhaps you should think about it a little more. Not do anything hasty.’

  ‘I have to make a choice. You yourself said that I can’t go on like this. I’m not doing either of my jobs to the best of my ability.’

  ‘But you love medicine. This is what you studied for. Everything you’ve worked for. You can’t just give it up.’

  ‘There are other doctors.’

  ‘Not as good as you.’

  He curled his arm around her shoulders. ‘Thanks for the vote of confidence. But there are other doctors, and the hospital will fill the vacancy easily. I’m the only one who can keep Shaw Industries going.’

  ‘They’ve managed without you all these years.’ Jess hated that damned company. Wished it would crumble into dust.

  ‘That was when my father was alive. Jess, he’s left me this responsibility. I can’t not shoulder it.’

  Why not? There wasn’t any point in asking him. It was his father’s first and last gesture of confidence in Greg, and he could pass that up about as easily as he could wave a magic wand and cure all ills. He might be good, but he wasn’t that good.

  ‘I know it’s not what you expected, Jess. But this is the way forward. I can provide for you and the child.’

  ‘Don’t use me as an excuse for doing this. If you needed to provide for us, you could do it on a doctor’s salary. And you don’t. I can provide for myself and the baby. We’ve been through all this already.’ She glared at him.

  A muscle at the side of his face twitched. ‘I’m not. But it’s a fact, Jess. Like it or not, I’m in a position to be able to provide for my family.’

  And try stopping him. Greg’s mind was obviously made up on this point, and arguing about it with him would get her nowhere.

  ‘The baby needs your time, too.’

  ‘And this doesn’t facilitate that? I’ve just cut my work commitments in half.’

  But it was the wrong half. Couldn’t he see that?

  ‘The baby needs you.’ She couldn’t explain it. She’d clung on to the hope that Greg could be a better father than his own had been. Wondered if maybe, over time, he could show her how being in a family with him might work. Now she was beginning to doubt it.