by Dorlana Vann
“That’s cool,” George said. “Do you work around here?”
“Ouch!” Neal said as Brenda elbowed him in the side. “What?” And then he whispered, “Scarecrow?”
“Yes,” Brenda said, a hint of desperation in her voice.
“Excuse me?” George said.
Neal stood up, not understanding why. He thought the fellow was doing all right. Even staying in there when Brenda played hard to get. “Move it on along,” Neal said.
George looked at Neal and then at Brenda, apparently waiting for her to protest Neal’s demand.
“She’s with me,” Neal added after the guy didn’t budge.
“Sorry, man, I didn’t see you.”
“No problem.”
George nodded at Brenda and then went back to wherever he’d strolled over from.
“What took you so long?” Brenda asked, swiveling around on the barstool to face him.
“He seemed cool to me.”
“Really? Neither one of y’all can take a hint.”
“Those were hints? I thought it had just been ages since you’d talked to a man. And what the hell was the matter with him? He’s a decent looking guy.”
“You like him so much, you go buy him a drink.”
“Funny.”
“I’m paying you to be a scarecrow, not a matchmaker. Stick to your job.”
“Well, maybe we should come up with a signal or something.”
“That’s . . . actually a good idea. Okay fine. I’ll say ‘red flag.’”
Neal thought it was stupid. “Okay.” He turned back around, facing the mirror again. After a few minutes, the bar began to thin out and he glanced at his phone for the time: ten-thirty. “Do you come here often?”
She slowly turned her chair to face the mirror too. “Are you trying to pick me up?”
“I just mean, this place is a bit of a snooze-ville. Don’t you think?”
“I suppose. This is my first time here.”
“Huh. If you’re wanting to meet men, you should go where they are.”
“I can imagine where you’d go to pick up women. Some smoky strip club, no doubt.”
“There’s a lot of men there.”
“Maybe this was a bad idea.”
“What do you mean? I thought I did a good job a while ago.”
“You did. Maybe it’s too soon. You know.”
Neal turned his head toward her. “Nonsense. The best way to get over someone is to get someone new.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You sound like you’ve had experience.”
“This isn’t about me.”
“You know, maybe it should be. You seem to know everything about me. I don’t know anything about you. Do you have a girlfriend?”
“No.”
“Have you ever been married?”
“No.”
“Engaged?’
“No.”
“Are you gay?”
“No!”
Brenda turned her chair so she faced him. Her thighs brushed his for a second as she crossed her legs slowly, elegantly. “So what’s your story?”
“I thought we weren’t supposed to be talking?”
“Technically, we live under the same roof, and I don’t really know you. How do I know that you’re not some sort of pervert? You’re decent looking and can cook but you’re not married and you don’t have girlfriend. So tell me, what’s wrong with you?”
She wanted to know his story. Fine! He sat up straight and turned his chair to face hers and maneuvered until her legs were in between his, as close as he could get without touching her. He leaned in closer, as close as he dared, just close enough for a nervous reaction. And he got one: she swallowed, and he felt the exhalation of the breath that he had apparently taken away.
But she didn’t turn away or even blink when he caught her stare.
“I was in love with my best friend’s wife.”
Chapter 9
Brenda hated the tingles that were induced by Neal’s sudden stare-down and confession. This was a dangerous game she played, getting to know Neal. Sure, his piercing blue eyes and his in-your-face masculinity turned her on. But she could control her sexual side.
But this conversation had taken a turn toward the serious, and she had started it. She had a choice now: turn around and say something snarky like: ‘I’m not surprised, now shut the hell up and be my scarecrow,’ or she could let her curiosity get the best of her. “What happened?”
“I wanted Alexandria the moment Jay married her. Which sounds awful, I know. At first I wrote it off as wanting the unobtainable. For months we shared glances, and I would imagine her showing up at my doorstep, saying she couldn’t get me out of her mind, and imagining how it would be to kiss her. I was miserable. Jay had been my friend since grade school.
“One moment, I would be like, this is stupid. Alexandria loves Jay. They belong together. I knew it would destroy their marriage and our friendship. But the pull toward her was unbearable. She haunted my dreams. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And one night we found ourselves alone.” He seemed far away now, and his voice had become whisper.
Brenda leaned in, trying to block out the other noises in the bar.
“She said she had to leave,” Neal said, suddenly losing eye contact with Brenda. “In the next second, my life changed forever. I stopped her from leaving by touching her arm. We stood there for a second like that until our eyes met, and I could see her thinking as her chest heaved in and out. I knew right then that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. That was all I needed.
“I don’t remember what I thought at that moment, certainly nothing about Jay. I kissed her, and so help me, she kissed me back. When I pulled away, I was half expecting her to slap me and that would have been the end of that. But she didn’t . . .” Neal shook his head and finally looked at Brenda and shrugged.
“Y’all slept together.” Brenda picked up her wine and took a sip without taking her eyes off of Neal.
He blinked a couple of times, as if coming out of a trance and then met Brenda’s waiting stare. “Yep. And I was so stupid that I thought that once we got it out of our systems, we could all go back to being friends.”
“I’m guessing that’s not what happened.”
Neal shook his head. “Turns out, I was in love with her, sick in love, and she said loved me too. I would’ve done anything for her.” Neal shook his head. “When we talked in secret, I told her that we needed to tell Jay. That we needed to come clean so that we could be together. That was all I could think about, being with her again. I was willing to stab my buddy in the back for her.” He sighed. “Well, after weeks of torment, I couldn’t wait any longer. I told her I was going to tell him. That’s when she told me the truth. She said she did love me, but she loved Jay more. She chose him.”
“Ouch. Did he ever find out?”
“Nope. She begged me not to say anything and brought me back to reality, telling me how it would hurt Jay. I felt guilty after I sobered up a bit, and I couldn’t stand to be around her and not have her. So I pretended to get pissed at Jay for something he did and told him I didn’t want to be friends anymore. He tried. Man, he begged me to forgive him. That was rough, him begging me. But in the long run, it was for the best.”
“Wow, I don’t know what to say. How awful for you . . . and of you.”
“Right. So does that answer your question?”
Brenda drank the rest of her wine, which had become a little warm. “We’re a pair of chumps, aren’t we? In love with people we can’t have.”
“The difference is, I’m over Alexandria.”
“Is that so? If she walked in right now and said Jay had left her for another woman and she wanted you, you would te
ll her to get lost?”
“I’ll be right back,” he said with a straight face.
“I thought so,” Brenda said as Neal stood up. As he walked toward the men’s room, she noticed all the women stealing a peek, whether they were with someone or not. He was certainly nice to look at. A weaker woman might even say ‘hot.’
She felt a bit lightheaded and blamed the wine, but knew the prior conversation intrigued her. She hadn’t expected Neal to open up to her, especially since she hadn’t been exactly friendly. He seemed so scarred. Poor Neal. She had the sudden urge to comfort him. What? What the hell was that? “No, no, no!”
She turned to the bartender and pointed to her glass. As she sat there, trying to get these vile thoughts out of her head, she felt a tap on her shoulder.
Chapter 10
Neal groaned. Why the hell had he spilled his guts to Brenda Fisher? He’d never spoken a word of what had happened to anyone. Not to Larry and not even to Rocky. He wasn’t sorry for expressing his feelings to Alexandria, but he had planned to take the secret to his grave. If Alexandria fessed up to Jay, he would suffer the consequences then but not before.
But he had left one part out: the reason Alexandria had chosen Jay. She said Jay could give her what she wanted. Jay was more mature, stable. In other words, he had more money. Neal couldn’t compete with that. Not if that was Alexandria’s priority. That had been the moment a little of his obsession had melted. Still, he’d waited for her to realize that material things weren’t as important as love, but it never happened. And that was why he could say he was over Alexandria.
Still, why had he blurted everything out like that? What the hell?
Neal washed his hands and then exited the men’s room to see a guy talking to Brenda. From a distance, she actually did look approachable. She had at youthful glow, but at the same time, she was classy. A guy could easily think she was versatile, like seeing the pretty, girl-next-door, who usually went all-natural, dressed up for the school dance.
As Neal neared, he laughed. Was this guy in for a rude awakening! This crow would be a breeze to scare away.
“Hey pal,” he said and stood at least a foot taller. “She’s with me. Get lost.”
“Oh okay,” he said and practically ran.
“Wait . . .” Brenda called after the guy, but he didn’t turn around. “What the hell, Neal?”
“Huh?”
“Did I give you the signal?” she asked.
“No, but . . .”
“Did you hear me say, ‘red flag?’ An interesting man finally approached me, and you scared him away.”
“Wait a minute. That guy? That guy who was just standing here? That little goofy guy?”
“He wasn’t goofy! He was sweet.”
“That’s the kind of guy that you go for? He’s not right for you. You’d eat him alive.”
“What’s it to you what kind of guy I go for? Didn’t we already establish that you are not my matchmaker?”
“What would y’all do if you took him home? Play video games? How old is he? I bet he has a curfew.”
“Not that it is any of your business, but for one, he’s old enough, he’s a doctor, and two, I’m not whoring around. I’m actually trying to find someone to have a real relationship with. Besides,” she mumbled, “I’ve got to lose a few pounds before I sleep with anyone.”
“Seriously?”
“What?”
“You don’t really think you need to lose weight, do you?”
“I’ve gained, like, ten pounds in the last three months. You saw.”
“I did. You’re right, I did see. I saw a smokin’ hot sexy body.”
“You’re just saying that. You’re all perfect. I bet you go to the gym five times a day where all those skinny young girls are with their perfect bodies.”
“Your body is perfect.”
She picked up her glass and swished the wine around. “You’re just saying that so I won’t throw you out of the house.”
“No, I’m not. I don’t just say things I don’t mean.”
She looked up at him, her wine still moving in the still glass, her expression questioning.
Then the image of her standing beside his shower popped into his head. And the feel of her body under his as they lay wet inside her bathtub stirred the daydream he had earlier.
Neal came back to reality after Brenda turned away, taking a sip of her drink. Neal wondered if he’d been drooling. He ordered a water, and they sat in silence for a few minutes, the bar even more of a downer than earlier. After a little while, they were the only customers left in the bar.
Neal asked, “Do you want to call it a night?”
Brenda swiveled her chair back around to face him. “Might as well.” She shrugged and smiled.
Neal nodded to the bartender and then said to Brenda, “Let me take you home.” He knew how it sounded the minute he’d said it, and he waited for her to slap him with her words.
Before she’d said anything the bartender set the bill on the bar. Neal grabbed it.
“I’m paying,” Brenda said, trying to get it away from Neal. “You’re my scarecrow. I said I would pay, and I will. A deal’s a deal.”
“I got it,” he said, handing the bartender his debit card.
“Why? Because you’re the man?”
Brenda dug into her purse. “I don’t see why men think that they have to pay in order to be a man. I make good money. I can pay for myself. Why did you have to go and be so nice to me anyway? Ah-ha!” She pulled out her keys and stumbled down from the high stool.
As she shifted, her skirt slid way up her legs, and she tugged it down, but not before it caused all kinds of naughty thoughts to enter Neal’s head.
He shook it off then held his hand out for the keys.
Brenda placed the keys in his hand and rolled her eyes. “Fine. You can drive my car. I saw what you drive. I think we’ll risk letting it get stolen.” She laughed. “Like that’s going to happen.”
As soon as they were belted in and on the road, Brenda started talking as she slipped out of her shoes. “Did you know that Haley was my assistant?”
“Really?”
“Women like her don’t have to be ambitious. They get to walk through life without trying. They are born with looks and personality. They don’t have to try to be nice. They are born with sugar for blood. Sweet, sweet, sweet. I mean, Haley waltzed in and stole the man I’ve loved since college without even breaking a sweat. Me, I have to work at this.” She swooped her hands down her body. “Not that I’ve done a very good job lately. But I wasn’t born with any of this. I was chubby as a kid, my dad called it big-boned, and guess what? I’m not a natural blonde. Well, I was when I was a kid. So I kind of am.” She leaned her head back on the headrest and faced the window.
After a moment, Neal thought she’d fallen asleep and maybe it was for best. But then Brenda turned to him, without lifting her head off the headrest, and started talking again.
“I’ve known Larry since college. Did you know we were engaged? Hey, why didn’t we meet then? You went to A&M too, right?”
“Only for a little while. I left before you met Larry. He told me all about you, though.”
“Did he? Did he tell you he asked me to marry him and then changed his mind? He wasn’t ready. But I was. Don’t tell him I said that. I didn’t want him to think I was clingy, so I said I wasn’t ready either. I have my pride, you know.
“Then he started dating other girls, and it about killed me. I wasn’t going to let him see that it upset me. And then he saw how needy that first girl was, and so he broke up with her and came back to me.
“I didn’t want to lose him, so I pretended that casual was okay with me. That’s what I did. He dated other women, but he always showed back u
p at my door. And this last time, he stayed at my apartment with me. We went out together as a couple. We made love. I thought . . . I thought he didn’t want to go back home because he didn’t want to leave me. I thought it was our time. I thought he had finally had enough of being single and had gotten all the running around out of his system. I thought he was in love and ready to finally settle down.” She laughed wearily.
“All that stuff was true,” she continued. “All true, except it wasn’t with me. It was Haley. How could he do that to me?”
“I’m sorry,” Neal said. “He’s a blind jerk.”
From the corner of his eye, Neal saw her stare, but he kept his attention on the road.
Brenda sighed and looked out the window again. “Maybe,” she said. “But maybe I was delusional. And oh shit, stupid and naïve. I can’t believe I’m using that word to describe myself. But there it is.”
“You’re none of those things. You can’t control other people’s actions.”
“I should be able to control my own. I did some pretty nasty things in order to keep him. At least, to keep what we had. I would’ve settled with how the relationship was, forever. But they drove me to it. I was desperate, weak.”
“You deserve better. You deserve a lot better than being someone’s on-the-side.”
They pulled up at the multiplex and parked. When they got out, he wrapped his arm around her without thinking about it, then froze, waiting for her to say she didn’t need him to help her. She didn’t say anything. Instead, she actually leaned in.
She felt nice in his arms, like she fit perfectly, and he walked her inside and to her apartment. She opened her door.
“Well, good night,” he said, and he turned to walk away.
“Hey, Neal,” she whispered.