“They’re not really the kind of guys I can keep things from. Steele figured it out on his own, Kam.” He stepped closer to me and cupped my cheeks in his large hands. “Don’t be embarrassed. They don’t think any less of you, and they weren’t judging you, I swear. They were mad at me for making you wait for me to leave Olivia.”
I breathed out heavily and dropped my head. “This is a disaster. Your best friends and family are always going to think of me as the woman you had an affair with,” I grumbled. “Even if you think they won’t judge me,” I said before he could say anything.
“I’m sorry, Kamryn,” he said simply. “I’m just sorry.”
Looking up into his gray eyes, I placed my hands over his and sighed. “We went in this thing together. Please stop saying you’re sorry.” Leaning up to kiss him softly, I smiled against his lips and said, “We just have a few more things to get through, including telling your family, and then one day this will all just be a memory.”
“You know what I’m scared about?” he asked seriously, and my eyebrows bunched together. “When you tell Barb. From what you’ve said, I’m afraid she’ll come after me with a wooden spoon or something.”
I laughed, and he kissed me hard before releasing me.
“We’ll get through it, Kamryn. But until I go to work tomorrow, let’s just keep pretending like we have nothing to deal with and nothing waiting for us out there. All right?”
I studied his worried eyes and nodded. “All right, Brody.”
After our breakfast-for-dinner, we cleaned up the kitchen, but that took a little longer than expected when flirtatious touches and quick kisses started lingering and growing hotter. Soon the dishes and leftover food were forgotten as we got lost in each other on the cool hardwood of the kitchen. Once everything was finally cleaned and put away, we moved into the living room, turned on the TV, and lay down on the couch together as the shows played in the background. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we kissed, but we were always holding on to each other like we couldn’t get close enough—and I loved every second.
It was all so stress-free, so normal, and so perfect.
Later, my eyelids cracked open when Brody removed my glasses and put them on my nightstand. Running my hand over the fabric, I realized we were on my—our—bed, and I watched groggily as Brody removed his shirt and crawled onto the bed.
“I fell asleep?” I guessed.
“Little bit,” he said, his voice warm and rough with exhaustion. “Snoring and drooling all over the place.”
“Shut up.” I pushed at his bare chest, and he caught my hand in his, his laugh filling the otherwise quiet room.
“No, you looked adorable.” He kissed me gently and pulled my body closer to his. “Go back to sleep, Kamryn.”
And I did, so easily, just as I had done the last three nights. There was no fear that he would leave. There was no watching the clock. There was no Olivia. Again, it was just us. It was perfect.
Brody
July 21, 2015
“I DON’T KNOW if I can do this!” Kamryn hissed and dropped her phone into one of the cup holders in my SUV.
I sent her a reassuring smile and picked up her phone, searching for Barb’s number.
Kamryn refused to go out in public with me until my family knew about us, and I wasn’t about to keep hiding us. So we were having brunch at Kinlee and Jace’s with my parents, and I was making her call her aunt Barb on the way so we could get it all done at once.
“I’m going to be right here with you. None of them will be easy to tell, but it needs to be done. And the sooner we do it the sooner we can start our forever. Then it will be done, babe. We won’t have to hide, we won’t have to worry about them finding out . . . it’ll all be over.”
She nodded her head a few times and roughly swallowed as she looked out the window.
Pressing Barb’s number, I let the call go through my car and watched as Kamryn jumped at the first ring. For a few seconds, I didn’t think Barb was going to answer as the phone continued to ring. Just as I was about to end the call, I heard an accent that put Kamryn’s to shame come through the phone.
“Baby girl, are you all right? You never call me!”
My brow furrowed, and Kamryn started biting on one of her fingernails—something I knew she didn’t do.
“I’m fine,” she said shakily.
“What’s going on, I’m getting your—”
“Barb, I’m not alone.”
There was silence for a few seconds, and I wanted to ask why Barb said Kamryn never called her, and why the start of the call was already weird as shit.
“Is Kinlee with you?”
“No. I, uh, we’re on our way to Kinlee’s house, though,” Kamryn responded and glanced at me.
“Well, all right then. Who is ‘we’?”
Kamryn started breathing roughly, her chest moving up and down rapidly.
Squeezing her hand, I waited for her to look at me. “Kam,” I prompted her when she didn’t.
Her head whipped to the left, her eyes were wide and worried as she tried to control her breathing.
“Kamryn, honey?” Barb asked.
“You don’t have to do this,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Kamryn bit down on her bottom lip and squeezed my hand back. “Barb, do you remember when I told you that Kinlee kept trying to set me up with that guy Aiden?” she began, her blue eyes locked on mine. “And I was trying to explain to you why I didn’t want to be with him?”
“Yes,” Barb said cautiously.
“Do you also remember me telling you about Kinlee’s brother-in-law?”
“Kamryn, no.” Barb gasped and whispered something I couldn’t make out. “Baby girl, tell me you didn’t do anything with that married man.”
“Barb, you have to understand, I love him—”
“Kam, young lady, do you realize what you have done?”
Kamryn covered her mouth as a sob worked its way out of her chest, and though Barb couldn’t see her, she nodded her head.
“He is married. He made a vow before God, and you helped him destroy that vow! You think he will leave his wife for you? And even if he does, how do you know that he won’t go and do the same thing to you?”
Kamryn cried harder, and I grabbed the phone from the cup holder, took the call off speaker, and spoke to Barb through the phone.
“Ma’am, this is Brody Saco, and I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from or speak to, but right now Kamryn’s too upset to respond to you, and I need you to understand something.”
“You should have never approached that young girl, do you hear me?”
“I know you can only think the worst of me right now,” I said calmly. “But you have to know I’m in love with Kamryn. I married the woman I did because she got pregnant, and before you ask, I do not have a child with her—he died almost five years ago. But she and I stopped loving each other long before we got married, and for the last five years she’s been manipulating me into thinking she was suicidal and bipolar so I would stay with her. Her parents’ attorney has been threatening me into staying with her, and recently I’ve come to find out that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her and she’s been cheating on me with numerous men . . . including men her family used to try to get me fired.” I paused, waiting to see if Barb would yell at me some more, but when she said nothing, I continued. “I have been trapped in a marriage. I have felt like I was drowning for almost five years now, and it wasn’t until I met Kamryn that I finally knew what it felt like to be alive again.”
Kamryn reached over to grab my arm, and I looked back over at her.
“It’s my fault Kamryn had to keep our relationship from you, and for that I’m sorry. I know you can’t think highly of me because of the little you knew about me before. But please, don’t be upset with her about this. Kamryn saved me. And despite how we may come across to people because of how we began our relationship, I will cherish her and love her until th
e day I die.”
“While that was a well-thought-out speech, sir, you will have to understand why I don’t trust you,” she said after a few beats of silence. “Please put Kamryn on the phone.”
It felt like a weight settled in my stomach as I handed the phone over to Kamryn.
“Barb? . . . I—yes, ma’am.” Kamryn blew out a deep breath as she ended the call and put her phone in her purse.
“What’d she say?”
“That she hoped I knew what I’d gotten myself into, and that she needed time to think about it,” she responded, her voice completely monotone.
“Fuck,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. We can go back to the condo—we don’t have to tell my parents right now.” I leaned forward to put the SUV into gear, and Kamryn sat up as she cleared her throat.
“No. You were right. I want to get all of this over with at once. And your family is already expecting to see you. I know your mom is going to be so upset if you don’t show up. So let’s do this.”
Cupping her cheek with my right hand, I leaned forward and kissed her forehead gently. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Come on,” she said and sat back. “I’m ready. Let’s do it.”
Putting the car in drive, I drove down the last couple streets to Jace’s house and breathed out heavily when I got out of the car. I wasn’t worried. Whatever they said wouldn’t affect me. I’d gone years with them hating whom I was with. I was just terrified of what their response would do to Kamryn.
Walking up to the door, I grabbed her hand, hoping to reassure her, but her body continued to tremble the closer we got. “Breathe, Kam. We’ll get through it togeth—”
The door was flung open, revealing my mom and dad, and Jace with an apologetic expression. My mom glanced down at our joined hands, looked up at me, then over to Kamryn, and screamed excitedly as she threw her hands up and rushed us.
I WATCHED AS my mom grabbed Kamryn’s shoulders hours later and spoke softly to her before kissing her cheek and walking out the front door with my dad. For a few seconds Kamryn stood there looking stunned—like she had all morning—before shutting the door behind them and turning to walk into the living room.
“You okay?” I asked against her forehead before placing a kiss there and wrapping my arms around her.
“Yeah, just . . . so weird.”
“Not what you were expecting?”
She was silent for a few seconds before breathing out. “No.”
“Me neither,” I replied honestly.
I hadn’t known what to expect. Even with my mom pushing girls I’d grown up with on me whenever she saw me, I still hadn’t known how she’d react to Kamryn. I didn’t know if she’d look at her the same way I knew Kamryn’s aunt Barb was judging me. I didn’t know if she’d let this change the way she’d come to know Kamryn. And I didn’t know if Mom would accept her the way she’d accepted Kinlee. But I definitely hadn’t been expecting my mom to thank Kamryn.
It hadn’t been hard to guess that my parents would be happy with the news that I was divorcing Olivia. My dad—who had always been a man of few words—simply smiled and nodded his approval. And my mom began crying before turning to Kamryn and thanking her. She hadn’t wanted to know the details, she was just happy that Kamryn had come into my life and given me the motivation to get myself out of my life with Olivia.
“Kace—um, Kamryn . . . sorry, that’s still hard to get used to,” Jace began, and I moved so I could pull Kamryn’s back into my chest. “You have to understand something. It’s not that any of us wanted Brody to have an affair, and it’s not that any of us are really happy that this is how the two of you started. But Kinlee and I already love you, and honestly, knowing you and knowing Brody, I can’t think of any two people more perfect for each other. And I know all you’ve ever heard was that we hated Olivia, but it was so much more than that. We all saw what she was doing to him, and we all watched what looked like Brody slowly dying because of her. He never saw us because of what was going on with them, and it was like we were waiting for the day when we lost him too,” he choked out. I looked down and noticed the tears falling down Kinlee’s cheeks.
I hated that I’d put my family through this. I hated that by trying to do the right thing, I’d hurt so many people other than myself.
“So to have someone come into Brody’s life and change him so drastically and bring him back to us . . .” Jace trailed off as he searched for the words to say. “How are any of us supposed to be upset about that?” Kinlee nodded, and Jace continued: “It’s like Mom said: she didn’t want to know the details, because she doesn’t want to think of you that way. And I know Kinlee and I don’t think of you that way. You saved my brother, you saved their son, and that’s the only way any of us want to see it. We love you, Kamryn, end of story.”
Kamryn grabbed and squeezed my hands, where they were resting on her stomach, and nodded a few times. “’Kay,” she managed to choke out.
Jace looked up at the ceiling and blinked back the wetness in his eyes before looking back at us and letting out a loud breath. “Gah. Can we stop with the mushy now? I’m going to spontaneously grow a vagina and have to stay for the girls’ nights with you two if we keep this up.”
Kamryn laughed and wiped at her face, and Kinlee elbowed Jace.
“Can we go back to celebrating the fact that Olivia is gone? Jesus Christ, I’ve been waiting for this moment since Brody went into the Army eight years ago!”
I rolled my eyes, but smirked when Jace winked at me. Kissing Kamryn’s neck, I whispered in her ear, “I’ll get you something to drink,” before releasing her and following Jace into the kitchen.
“I am happy for you, Bro, I hope you know that,” Jace said quietly once we were grabbing beers out of the fridge.
“I know you are. I am too.”
Straightening, he shut the fridge and took a step in the direction of the living room before looking back at me, his face reflecting the sincerity of his next words. “But I wasn’t lying when I said Kinlee and I love that girl in there. You hurt her again, I won’t think twice about beating the shit out of you, big brother.”
Laughing, I nodded and bumped his shoulder as I passed him. “Noted. But you won’t have to carry out that threat.”
“I better not have to.”
Looking at Kamryn talking to my sister-in-law, a calm I hadn’t felt in years settled over me, and I knew I would go through hell and back to make sure I gave that girl the forever I’d promised—the one we both deserved.
18
Kamryn
July 26, 2015
I RELAXED DEEPER into Brody’s side and smiled as we walked through the marketplace downtown almost a week later. Brody had been trying to make up for the time we’d lost in the beginning, so while I’d been working during the weekdays, he’d randomly show up at the shop just to say hi, bring me coffee, or steal a cupcake and a kiss before running errands as he tried to sell his house and everything in it. At night we’d done everything from grocery shopping to going out for coffee to going for a run together, and tonight we were on our first real date.
After a long dinner followed by a movie, we were walking through downtown Jeston looking at the shops and just enjoying being out together. We’d done everything so backward from the very beginning. These dates should have been done then, but they hadn’t been. And somehow, after all we’d been through, it made them that much more special.
Knowing we didn’t have to hide made an indescribable feeling swell inside me. Like I was happier than I’d ever been. Like I was on some high you couldn’t even get from drugs. Like I could do absolutely anything in the world . . . and like, if I stopped touching Brody, all of it would come crashing down around me in a second. This feeling made me want to scream in excitement—and then cry because all the hiding and stress was finally behind us.
“You want to do anything, or do you want to go home?”
I smiled up at Brody and tried to not roll my eyes. “I love b
eing able to be in public with you just as much as you love it,” I said, “but I kind of just want to go back home.” I kissed him quickly and skipped a step ahead of him so I could turn to face him. “I was thinking we could curl up on the couch and watch another movie, or maybe you could feed me something sweet . . .” I trailed off, and his eyebrows rose. “Maybe a shower together . . .”
He grabbed at my waist and pulled me back into his arms, his lips falling lightly onto mine. “All of the above,” he said against my mouth. “Come on, let’s go.”
Brody turned us around to walk in the opposite direction, picking up the pace as we made our way back to his SUV. The entire time we walked he whispered into my ear what he wanted to do when we got home, and by the time we got to the car I was practically running to get inside—and was almost positive we would be skipping the movie and couch time.
“Eager?” he asked, and I winked as I laughed, but the laugh stopped short when I noticed Brody’s expression fall.
“What?” When he didn’t respond, I rounded the front of his Expedition. “Brody, what is it?”
He swallowed hard and looked around us as he tore off the note that had been taped to the driver’s side window.
“What is this?”
“Get in the car, Kamryn.”
“But what—”
“Get in the car first, then we’ll talk about it.”
His tone left no room for discussion, but even still, he put his arm around my shoulders and walked me to the passenger door to let me in before going back to his side and getting in.
“What—” I cut off quickly when he handed me the paper, and I hurried to put my seat belt on when he started up the car and tore out of the parking spot and onto the street. “Jesus, Brody.”
“You know what Olivia looks like, right?”
“Uh, yeah . . .” I said uncertainly, drawing out the word like it was a question. I knew exactly what she looked like, but I didn’t understand. Flipping over the paper, my mouth fell open and I felt dizzy when I read the words.
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