by Nicole Falls
All it took was those two words for the floodgates to open. I couldn’t even properly articulate why in this moment, but those words, passionately whispered right into the shell of my ear broke me down. Jay pulled me tighter into his embrace, rubbing my back, and telling me to let it all out. So…I did. I cried for our misunderstandings orchestrated by his former yamp ass girlfriend. Cried because just like every year around this time I was missing my dad something miserably. I snotted up that man’s crispy white tee for a smooth ten minutes before attempting to pull back from his embrace and get myself together. Jay loosened his hold, but refused to let me go completely, tipping my chin up so that our gazes were meeting.
“You good?” he asked.
Not trusting my voice to wobble, I nodded my head.
“We good?”
Another nod and I tried extricating myself from his embrace. Jay wasn’t having that at all, holding onto me a little longer and staring at me with a look that I couldn’t quite decipher. He quickly shook his head, then let me go. I stepped back, inhaling deeply.
“Go clean your face then we’ll talk about my proposition,” Jay said, shooing me in the direction of the half bath just off the kitchen.
I came back into the kitchen only to find it empty. Jay had moved back into the living room with the bottle of wine and both glasses. Mine had been topped off in my absence. I walked over and plopped down on the other side of the couch. Jay wasn’t paying me any mind as he typed furiously on his phone.
“Uh oh, the wine’s refilled, does that mean whatever this proposition of yours is will require some heavy lifting?” I asked.
“What’s today’s date?” Jay asked.
“The…uh…eighteenth?”
“Shit. Okay…okay…it’s okay, we can work with that if I double up some…” he trailed off.
“You mind filling me in so I can decide if I’m saying yes to whatever it is you are tryna get brewing?”
“Aight, so boom,” he started and I immediately broke down into laughter.
"Sorry," I said, quickly gaining my composure.
"No seriously, I want to make sure we're all right here. No bullshit. I mean, I made an assumption, didn't follow up, and our whole bond was wrecked because of that," Jay started before grabbing my hand and pulling me closer to him on the couch, "I want us to be crystal clear going forward. We’ve already lost enough time thanks to a miscommunication issue. I don’t want us to get back on track only to end up with another.”
“We’re good, I promise. I won’t lie; my feelings were capital H hurt. Thought that maybe our friendship meant more to me than it ever had to you if someone like that yamp could come between us.”
“Yamp?”
“I said what I said.”
A beat passed before we both collapsed in laughter, falling into one another. This felt good, felt right. For so long my world has felt so off kilter, like something was missing or lacking, but in this moment? Right now…everything just felt…right.
“Honestly, No, that was my bad,” Jay said with a hand to his chest, “I’m charged with that. I felt ways about how I perceived you were treating me and I let Vero get in my head a bit, too.”
“Mmmhmm,” I chimed in.
“But, c’mon. You know me better. You shoulda pushed harder.”
“Well, after your phone was accidentally answered in the middle of y’all…playing Parcheesi, I figured it was just better for me to fade into the distance. I figured that either she’d get over her insecurity and we’d somehow reconnect or you’d finally see her for the mark ass buster we all thought she was and leave her alone.”
“Noooooo,” Jay groaned, “Are you serious?”
“Yep. That happened. But the past is the past, right?”
“You seem pretty keen to move on from a grudge you’ve held for years rather quickly. Which…let’s keep it a buck, YesYes…that ain’t you. Hell, you prolly still upset with Ginger for breaking the elevator in your Barbie dream house that you claimed you didn’t even care about anymore,” Jay laughed.
“Shut up! I was saving that for my children and she ruined it! I mean…in the long run, it didn’t matter since I don’t have any, but it was the principle of it all” I huffed.
“See, you just got all worked up over some shit that happened twenty damn years ago, but…”
“You’re different No Z. Don’t ask me why because…I don’t know. But you just are. If you want me to stay mad tho, I mean…I can work some shit out,” I replied, slyly.
“Nah ain’t nobody said all of that. I just want us to be good. Don’t need to be feuding with the neighbors outchea.”
“And like I said in the kitchen and at the end of this Carl Thomasing you just did, we’re good.”
“Bestie shake on it?” Jay asked, amusement lighting his eyes.
Almost immediately our hands met, slapping and dapping again one another in an intricate series of moves that ended with the pinky swear motion. As we reached the end of the handshake, we both collapsed into laughter again. Sobering rather quickly when I noticed I was damn near draped across his body, as one of his arms rested at my waist, I moved so that we were sitting side by side again.
“Now will you get to this damn proposition?”
“Okay so a little birdie told me that you haven’t exactly been in the Christmas spirit in quite some time, so we aim to remedy that,” Jay started.
“We?” I asked, warily.
“Yep, with the help of a few special elves we’re about to kick off YesYes’ 12 days of Christmas!”
“But, there’s seven days ‘til Christmas, soooo…I don’t know much about algebra, but I know…”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about the details. You game or you lame?” Jay asked.
“I don’t know if I really feel like…”
“Okay, nope, we’re not doing that. You don’t have anything else going on. The things I have in mind won’t take too much of your time…well that’s a lie, actually. Some will take up quite a bit of your time, but it’ll be worth it. Trust me,” Jay said.
The sheer level of excitement vibrating off of him made it damn near impossible to say no. And I really wanted to, honestly and truly. But I gave in and agreed anyway.
“Ok, fine…I’m game. But if any of this shit involves dressing up, I swear to God…”
“You ain’t gonna do nothing, but grin and bear it. Don’t front, you prolly still have your elf costume that you used to wear when you volunteered at Sunrise during the holidays in high school. As a matter of fact, you might wanna pull that bad boy out just in case I can pull some strings and…”
I laughed as I recalled that baggy, green, cotton onesie that was trimmed in red around the collar and cuffs. I usually paired it with this long cap that looked like a stocking and had a jingle bell on the tip. The outfit was completely ridiculous, but the old folks always got a kick of out of it. I had a whole song and dance routine to go along with it, too. What had started out as an extra credit project with my English teacher in my sophomore year of high school ended up becoming a yearly tradition with my sisters and I along with a few friends. I wrote and produced an original Christmas story and we performed it at the local senior home.
“Boy bye. No damn way I can fit into that elf suit with my grown woman weight on. Would be out here looking like the old elf in the club.”
Jay’s gaze roamed up and down my body, his perusal slow as he bit his lower lip leaving me a bit unnerved before he responded, “From where I’m sitting, that elf suit would fit just fine, believe me.”
“I…so pull some strings and?”
“I’ve said too much already. Just, I need you to be game for whatever, Yes. The word no is no longer an option in your vocabulary.”
“Forever?”
“For at least the next six days, be open minded.”
“I’ll try.”
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
I rolled my eyes at the Star Wars reference. T
he only reason that I knew it was a Star Wars reference was because Jay made me watch the damn movies so many times in high school. Or honestly I should say he tried to make me watch the movies because I fell asleep on the original trilogy so many times.
“You’re still a big ass nerd, I see,” I laughed.
“Forever, baby. Let me get outta here though. I’ll be in touch.”
I knew whatever he had planned would be interesting, since Jay’s attention to detail and anal-retentive nature made sure he left no I undotted and no T uncrossed. Jay rushed out of the house, damn near mowing over Juju as she entered.
“Hey, brudda. Bye, brudda. Hey, sissy!” she trilled
“Don’t hey sissy me, Juniper or shall I call you Judas?”
“What did I do?”
“Jay told me that a little birdie told him that I don’t mess with the holidays like that anymore and you the only chick I know that sings, soooooo…”
“Okay, well in my defense,” Juju trailed off.
I looked at her expectantly, but no other words followed.
“Your defense?” I prompted.
“I have none, but that sounded like a promising start, yeah?”
“You know I can’t stand you right?”
“AN LIE! I’m your favorite sister and you know it. It’s fine. Everyone came to terms with it years ago.”
I rolled my eyes, “Stop trying to deflect! Let’s get back to the topic on the docket. Why did you feel the need to tell all my business to Jay?”
“You say that like he’s some stranger off the street. That’s my brudda. Who should be my brother in law by now, if we wanna be perfectly honest. But for some reason, somebody keeps wasting her time with random hookups she’s hopes turns into meeting mister right when she already met the nigga at age twelve. Be clear, I didn’t tell all of your business, like I could have. But, sissy, you’ve been becoming increasingly mean around this time of year and no one likes it. Hell, even Pay and Jordie have picked up on it.”
“I’m not mean! I’m just—“
“I know, I know. Not in the holiday spirit since daddy passed. And I get it, you know I do. But your joy fizzled a bit before that. Actually, you’ve been this perpetual Scrooge since you and Jay managed to let the ThotBot1000 knock y’all’s friendship off track. I ain’t sayin, but I’m sayin. But what do I know?”
“First of all, I didn’t let that yamp do shit!”
“Girl bye. You shoulda shut the chick down when she called herself coming to you as a woman at mommy and dad’s party, but you let that shit ride,” Junie said, her face twisted in a scowl.
Juniper hated Veronica before we even formally met her. We’d seen pictures of her and Jay online and Juju always said that she saw the gold pans reflected in her irises whenever Jay posted a picture of them together on Facebook. He seemed happy, so I reserved judgement until the moment Junie was going on about happened. Then all bets were off. I was going to be cordial, but I definitely didn’t have to stand for disrespect. Hell, soon I wasn’t given a chance to stand for anything since I’ve now learned that her machinations were the reason Jay and I fell off.
“You needed an attitude adjustment and Jay needed a project. So boom! Simple dimple,” Juniper said.
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled, “I don’t even know why I said yes. This better not turn into some old Ebenezer Scrooge, ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future mess because I don’t have the time for it.”
“Honey, all you have is time. You don’t go back to work ‘til after the new year. So now, instead of lazing around here and getting bedsores from lying around watching Netflix for a few weeks, you can get your behind out and have some adventures around the city with your bestie.”
“I don’t know if I’d go as far as calling him my ‘bestie’ again, but I guess it should be cool to catch up on all I missed with Jay over the years.”
“Mmmmhmmmm, and report back too because I am dying to know the full story about the breakup with the Thot Bot3000. You know mommy’s memory is sketchy, so I didn’t get all of the details when she was trying to fill me in.”
“You’re a mess.”
“A beautiful one that you love anyway,” Juju replied.
I awakened the next morning entirely too damned early for someone who didn’t have a thing to do with her day. I didn’t hear anything from Jay last night so I wasn’t aware of the plan for today nor what time he planned for us to be shaking and grooving. If I was being honest with myself, I was a little giddy despite not knowing what was in store for me. Jay had always been big on surprises, so I knew that whatever he had up his sleeve would be interesting at the least. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what these twelve days of Christmas in six days was even going to bring about. He orchestrated this crazy big birthday surprise for me our senior year of high school, sending me on a treasure hunt around our neighborhood. He got everyone involved from my friends to neighbors to managers of some of our favorite local hangouts. That was definitely my most memorable birthday experience, hands down.
I spent most of last night really thinking about Juniper’s commentary, though. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right about some things. I’d never let her have the satisfaction of knowing though. She’d never let me live it down. She wasn’t right about the whole Jay needs to be my brother-in-law thing, but she kinda hit the nail on the head about my relationship status…or lack thereof over the past few years. For a while I was heavy into the dating apps. I kept hearing the white girls at work gush about how they or their friends met their husband on okmatchmewithplentyofbagelsandbumblefish so I thought hell if they could do it, so could I. Unfortunately, nothing solid came from any of my attempts. There were a few prospects with potential, but they all managed to fizzle at the six-month mark.
My sisters all had their different theories why nothing lasted with any of those men. Valora said I was too lax. Ginger said my standards were too rigid. And Juju said all of the dudes I gave a shot were wack to begin with so it would be doomed no matter what. Honestly? Ju was probably the one that was most spot on. But enough of thinking about any of that bullshit, I needed to get up and be ready for…whatever.
I also had to mentally prepare a way to bring up Veronica because, like Juju, I too was dying to know what happened with that situation. I’d heard through the grapevine that he was planning to propose to her, but when I never heard anything about a wedding, I did wonder what exactly happened there. I mean good riddance because Jay deserved to spend his life with someone better, but he was also so damn smitten almost to the point of oblivion, so I knew that whatever had occurred must’ve been major. I knew I’d have to broach the subject with care though because Jay was intensely guarded, even with me. Despite how affable and gregarious he seemed, it took a lot for him to really let guard down and let folks in. I couldn’t just dive right in and ask about the situation because that would get me nowhere fast.
Just as I was about to hop out of bed and begin my morning routine, my phone buzzed. Nearly everyone I knew was in bed during this time of day so I had no idea who would be hitting me up this early. I got up and walked over to the bureau and grabbed my phone.
Can you be ready by 8:30? – 7085445786
Despite the number not being saved in my phone I knew who it was immediately, I was actually surprised that he still had the same number after all these years. I just knew he went full California Boy and changed over to a 510 area code for sure since he had relocated to Oakland after finishing up at Stanford. I tapped out a quick affirmative reply and asked how I should dress for the day’s adventure. I also resaved his contact information since I was done being a Petty Betty. Jay’s return text about my wardrobe inquiry only said to dress warm. I pressed for details and he told me to go get some business and just be ready by 8:30. Knowing Jay, whatever he had planned would have us traipsing here, there, and everywhere so I opted for comfort over cute. I had a little time to waste before getting dressed, so I texted Jay to see if he wanted b
reakfast. His response was an enthusiastic yes, in all caps, accompanied by more exclamation points than I ever deemed necessary.
When I came downstairs to the kitchen, Juju was down there, which was a shock because she normally slept in past ten am.
“JunieBug what are you doing up this early?” I asked.
“I drew the short straw,” she grumbled as she rooted through the cabinets looking for something, likely coffee, “I have to drop you and Brudda off this morning.”
“Well sit down, I’m making breakfast. And while you’re waiting you can just tell me exactly what’s going down during this accelerated twelve days of Christmas.”
“I can certainly sit down and wait for food, but I absolutely cannot tell you anything about what’s going on today or any other day. Jay made me pinky promise and you know how I am about my pinky promises.”
I rolled my eyes, “Not even for your favorite big sister?”
“Nope, sorry sissy. You’re just gonna have to take that stick out your ass today and go with the flow.”
“Oh gee, thanks! In that case, get your ass up and make your own coffee. The blend you like is in the cabinet on the left. I did some rearranging.”
“I really wish you’d tell somebody when you get on one of your reorganization kicks.”
“Why? You’re not here half the time anyway.”
“I mean, I’d just like to be aware.”
We had all of the fixings for my fake fancy dupe of a Burger King Croissanwich, so I got to work making three sandwiches in a fairly short amount of time. Instead of going traditional with bacon or sausage I layered eggs, smoked mozzarella cheese and thinly sliced prosciutto on a slightly toasted, hella buttery and flaky croissant. It was typically my go to breakfast most weekdays since I lived by the king, prince, and pauper eating plan. My breakfasts were legendary on a daily basis simply because I always woke up super early, with plenty of time to spare before I needed to head out to work, so perfecting breakfast became my thing. Juju usually reaped the benefits of my culinary adventures. Just as I was plating the last sandwich, Jay walked through the side door.