by Nicole Falls
We’ve done so much in such a short period of time, from shopping to sledding to volunteering at an old folks home—something I used to do as a teen during this time of year—and I’d enjoyed every minute of it. Today was a family day as my sisters, brothers in law, Payton, and Jordan had joined us. Tomorrow, the day before Christmas Eve, Jay’s parents and my mom and stepdad were due to arrive into town. Today though, we were trimming the tree that Jay and I picked up yesterday on the way back from our activities.
“A penny for your thoughts?” Jay asked, plucking a piece of popcorn from the bowl perched on my lap.
Yep, we were going all out—popcorn and cranberry garland, all of the terrible ornaments that my sisters and I made while growing up that were still stored in the basement of the house—the full nine. I don’t know how Jay got Ginger and Lolo to agree to come and help out, but I’d given up on figuring out how he weaved his magic and just enjoyed the fruits of his labor. I looked around the room before returning my attention to Jay.
“Tuh. You think my thoughts are cheap? Gonna cost you more than that, buddy!”
“What’s the going rate for a YesYes thought these days?”
“At least a dub!”
Jay bucked his eyes and recoiled slightly as he clutched his neck.
“Twenty American dollars? Really?”
“That’s right. A steal! We both know my thoughts are worth much more,” I said, slyly.
“So says you,” Jay quipped, “That remains to be seen.”
“So nasty, so rude.”
At my Nene Leakes impression we both broke down into laughter. Another thing that I’d been doing a lot since hanging out with Jay. We essentially fell right back into the previous incarnation of our friendship rather quickly. Inside jokes bandied about back and forth constantly, with Jay teasing me more often than not.
“You good though? You were so lost in thought that you didn’t hear me calling you after standing here talking to you for five minutes before I realized you weren’t hearing a word I was saying.”
“Yeah…I’m good. I was just thinking about how dope this week has been so far. Seriously. Thank you, Jay. I didn’t…know how much I really needed this, but I did.”
“Well it’s not over yet! We still have two days ‘til Christmas—"
"And my birthday!" I interrupted.
"And your birthday and plenty more to get into. But…for now, we have a lil something special planned for you,” Jay said.
He grabbed the bowl of popcorn from my lap and maneuvered me from next to the tree over to the sofa. I’d been so busy lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t noticed that the room had cleared out.
“Where the hell did everyone go?” I asked.
Jay didn’t respond, just shut off the Sonos and told me to get ready for a special command performance of a Christmas classic. Knowing that none of my sisters but Juniper could carry a tune in a bucket, I braced myself for some terrible singing of Christmas carols. Instead, my baby niece Payton walked into the room with a pout covering her face. She walked over to the ottoman and flopped down on it heaving a large sigh. Just as I was about to ask her what was wrong her little sister shuffled into the room dressed in clothes that were at least two sizes too big and as far from the girlie girl pink “I look like unicorns vomited on me” aesthetic she usually rocked. She had a single-minded focus as she made her way over to Payton.
“Noelle, what’s wrong?” Jordan said, her voice deepened to a pitch that was unnatural.
Hearing that one line sparked my brain instantly. I turned to Jay, pushing his shoulders and yelling, “No way!”
“Shh, I’m trying to enjoy this fine performance,” he replied, keeping his focus on the girls.
I laughed at him, and then turned my attention back to the girls. The performance progressed and soon each of my sisters appeared, reprising their former roles. In ninth grade I was tasked with creating a play in one of my elective courses—dramatic writing. I chose to write a play about a problem that was very close to home at the time—titling it Noelle the First. My attempt at a play on The First Noel since the project was due right before Christmas break. The play was about an older sister who didn’t want to be the eldest because of all of the responsibilities that came along with being number one. Her best friend, Ray—loosely based on Jay, obviously—was her voice of reason. He was an only child who longed for siblings. In the play, Ray helped Noelle overcome her thinking that being the eldest was a burden and convinced her of all the cool things that came along with being number one. I’d exaggerated many negative traits of my sisters, much to their chagrin, but all was forgiven when I asked them to pitch in and record a performance of it for my final project. As the girls and my sisters performed this I couldn’t help but laugh at how dramatic I used to be. Everything was an extinction level event in twelve-year-old Noelle’s mind. Thank God I’d grown out of that…mostly.
The play reenactment wrapped up in less than ten minutes, with Jay and I giving the girls a standing ovation for their performances.
“Auntie No?” Payton asked after we were done whooping and hollering.
“Yes, baby girl?”
“Was my mommy really that terrible like Ginger in the play?”
“Nah,” I started, looking over at Gigi and smirking, “She was worse!”
Ginger responded by flinging a few popcorn kernels my way which eventually turned into a full-fledged food slash pillow fight between everyone in the house, including Frankie and Josh who’d mysteriously disappeared during the command performance of Noelle the First, but both reappeared with eyes as red as the berries we were currently flinging back and forth across the room. We horsed around for a good twenty additional minutes before calling a truce with everyone collapsing into various areas around the living room. Once again, I found myself looking around the room and grinning like a fool, unabashedly happy and feeling abundantly blessed to have this time with the people on Earth who meant the most to me.
The room had been pin drop quiet for about three minutes before Juniper called out, “Yo that was fun, but uh…who the hell is gonna clean all of this up?”
After cleaning up the living room, we all piled into the kitchen to bake cookies. Another Jay sanctioned activity that ended up in disarray as we got a little bit carried away with the flour and powdered sugar. Luckily, everyone pitched in and made quick work of restoring the kitchen to its formerly clean state. We ordered a few pizzas and sat around talking about some of everything under the sun before everyone decided to take off. With the parents coming into town tomorrow, we already knew it was gonna be crazy between my mom and Miss Diane ordering all of us around to do their bidding. They were scheduled to come in around the same time so Jay and I volunteered for airport pick up duty since whatever activity was scheduled for tomorrow wouldn’t be impeded by this.
We all traded hugs, kisses, and goodbyes as everyone exited. Lolo and Frankie led the pack, with Josh who was carrying a sleeping Jordan, Ginger, and Payton bringing up the rear. Jay and I stood in the doorway seeing them off when I noticed Payton peer back over her shoulder, then tug on Ginger’s sleeve to ask her something. I could see Gigi gesturing back toward Jay and I and nodding, which sent Payton sprinting back in our direction.
“Hey Pooh, you forget something?” I asked as she reached us.
“Nope, I asked mommy this and she told me that I should be asking you. But she also told me to make it quick, so…mistletoe, right? Two folks are supposed to kiss if they’re standing under it together right?”
I frowned, not exactly knowing where this conversation was going, but answered her anyway, “That’s right, Pooh.”
“Is it like bad luck if they don’t?”
“I’m not quite sure of the folklore, love. Why do you ask?”
She pointed at the door, just above where Jay and I were standing. I hesitated before looking up because I knew what I would see if I did.
“So…are you gonna kiss Mr. Jay? I think it’s like
bad luck if you don’t kiss under the mistletoe or something. And you don’t wanna be cursed for life or whatever,” Payton shrugged.
I turned my gaze toward Jay and he just wore an amused smirk, saying nothing.
“Well?” Payton prompted.
“Pooh, you can’t just put folks on the spot like that. I’m sure Mr. Jay doesn’t want to kiss me. You can’t just force someone to kiss you because of where you happen to be standing,” I said, about to launch into a lecture on consent when Jay interrupted me.
“Mr. Jay can speak for himself, Yes. Besides, what a little kiss between friends?” he said, winking at Payton.
Before I could even open my mouth to form a response, Jay’s lips were pressed against mine. The kiss was light and fleeting, but still managed to have an effect on me.
“See, now you won’t have any more bad luck, Tee. Good night!” Payton said, skipping down to her parents’ car.
“Bye, Pooh!” I called after her, rooted to the spot until she was settled in the car and Josh pulled off.
“I guess that’s my cue, too,” Jay said, moving in to give what had become his customary parting hug and forehead kiss.
Before he could completely disengage from me, impulsively I reached up to grab the sides of his face, initiating a kiss. I don’t know what made me do it beyond the tingle that still was present upon my lips from the brief contact of the Payton initiated kiss. If he was surprised by the move he quickly adjusted, plying my mouth with a series of lingering kisses that quickly turned from a brushing of lips to a fully engaged tongue battle as Jay’s hands cupped and squeezed my ass. I pulled back when the pesky necessity of breathing reared its head, but Jay followed keeping our mouths fused until he had seemingly gotten his fill. Jay kissed my lips one last time before opening my door and ushering me inside. Once I was on the inside of the threshold, Jay turned and left after a lowly murmured goodbye.
I closed and locked the door behind him, leaning my forehead against the frame and muttering, “What the hell was that?”
“Damn, has it been that long since you’ve been kissed by a man, sis?” Juniper quipped.
I jumped, thinking she had been long gone since she was MIA when Lolo and Ginger had left.
“Where the hell did you come from?” I asked, “You scared the shit outta me!”
“Uh…upstairs where I’ve been this whole time. But imagine my surprise when I come down to get some nog and cookies and see Nono being hemmed up by Brudda. Let me find out all our dreams are about to come true!” Juniper exclaimed.
“Relax bruh, it was just a kiss.”
“Nah, that wasn’t just anything. That was everything. I mean, did it feel as hot as it looked because I’m bout ready to light a cigarette, sheesh!”
“I never took you for a voyeur, Junie B.”
“And I had no idea you were into exhibitionism but there you were, on the porch, mere minutes from BIWO on the porch swing…”
“BIWO?” I asked, certain that this was some silly ass millennial slang that I didn’t know.
“Bussin' it wide open, duh,” Junie replied, laughing.
I couldn’t help joining her because of the sheer silliness of the phrase combined with what was certainly a lapse in judgement on everybody’s part tonight. Hell, we hadn’t even been drinking so I couldn’t blame it on that. Just…high off other emotions I guess.
“You know I can’t stand you, right?” I asked Juju after I’d sobered from the giggle fit.
“The lies you tell are egregious, my sister. But I love you anyway. And I’m glad to see that ThotBot5000 didn’t ruin you and Brudda completely.”
“I can’t with you and this ThotBot mess. And does the edition change every time you mention her?”
“Calculated thots like her are steadily evolving, so naturally her model number would evolve with that too,” Juniper quipped, “But enough about her, let's talk about you and Jay? What's going on there?"
"I..." I started, but quickly closed my mouth because I didn't really have an answer that made sense.
"A piece of unsolicited advice?" Juju offered.
I nodded my head in deference.
"You gotta hit it at least once, sissy. Have you seen that nigga lately? Sheesh. If I didn't respect you so much, I’dve took him down by now."
"Juju, can you ever be serious?" I asked, trying to hold back my laughter and failing miserably.
“I was being serious. Jay got fine, like super fine.”
“Like out of this world fine, right? Was he always this fine? Because goddamn, Juju,” I gushed.
“So you gon’ hit? For the culture, you have to.”
“Good night, Juniper.”
I woke up the next morning with that kiss from Jay still weighing heavily on my mind. In true Noelle fashion, I spent half of the night up obsessing about it and what it meant for us going forward. Were we a thing? Was it a fluke? Did he enjoy it as much as I had? Would we, as Juju put it, fuck for the culture? Or would things be completely weird from now on? The loud grumbling of my stomach temporarily distracted my train of thought, so I got out of bed grabbed my phone and headed downstairs to make breakfast. On the way down the stairs, I noticed that I had a few notifications of new texts. Navigating to the app to read them, I noticed the first one from Jay around five this morning.
Don’t be over there acting weird now that you’ve finally given into your carnal desires for me. Be over by 11:30 to go pick up the parentals. – No Z
I laughed and typed out a quick response.
No breakfast?
Since he was being cool, I could be cool, right? We’d been doing breakfast together all week, why let last night derail that? The dots appeared that told me he was formulating a response, and then disappeared just as quickly. Instead of focusing on that, I decided to go ahead and make breakfast. I was in the mood for chocolate chip pancakes, so I assembled all of the ingredients to make them and began mixing up my batter. A quick glance at my phone showed me that Jay still hadn’t responded to my inquiry, so I made just enough pancakes for myself and Juju. I heard the door open and assumed it was Juju coming in so I yelled out, “I’m making your favorite today, chocochip pancakes. You’re just in time.”
“Hold the chocolate for mine, please,” a deep voice intoned and I turned around to see Jay striding into the kitchen.
“How did you get into my house?” I asked.
“Good morning to you, too,” he replied, holding up a set of keys, “Steve and Diane still had these hanging by the back door.”
“And you decided to just come on over instead of replying to my text?”
Jay pushed out a breath before sitting down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.
“I did reply,” Jay answered, pulling out his phone and walking over to me to show me a text.
“That little exclamation mark means it didn’t send, sir,” I teased, poking him in the side.
“Sorry, I was a little distracted. As I was responding to you I got an unexpected call from…”
“From?” I prompted.
“Vero,” he replied.
“Oh,” I said, turning back to the stove to flip the pancakes.
“Nah…it’s not like that. She and I have been done.”
“That’s…none of my business.”
“Well I’m making it your business. Especially in light of recent events.”
“You don’t have to—“
“Nah, I do. But I’ma let you finish these pancakes first. Then we’ll talk.”
While I was busy finishing the pancakes, Jay got us plates, cups, and silverware as well as made some coffee. Just as I flipped the last pancake out of the pan, Juniper appeared.
“Hi guys, bye guys,” she said, breezing by the kitchen and straight out of the front door.
“Hurricane Juniper strikes again,” Jay quipped.
I gave him half a smile as I walked over to the breakfast bar with the plate of pancakes. The plate had barely hit the counter before I was tu
rning on a heel to retrieve syrup and butter, but Jay stopped my forward progress. He steered me toward a barstool and commanded me to sit while he grabbed everything else we needed to begin eating. As soon as he placed the butter and syrup down, I tucked into eating. We sat in silence; the only sounds were from our chewing and sipping as we ate breakfast. We made quick work of the dishes then settled into the living room, which seemed to be the place we now came to have Very Serious Talks™.
“So Vero,” Jay started, before pushing out another heavy sigh, “She’s actually part of the reason I’m even back here. And I wanted to be clear, before we discuss what happened between us and what that means going forward, that she is completely a non-factor.”
I said nothing, just raised an eyebrow for him to continue and the tale that came out of his mouth was some shit that I could have never seen coming. Not only had she slept with her boss, but she’d made her way through most of Jay’s boys and coworkers as well. All while purporting to be in love with him. As he detailed discretion after discretion and finally getting fed up enough to leave her alone for good and put some distance between himself and that whole situation, I felt my heart breaking. Jay might have the fuckboy standard edition haircut, but at his core he was one of the most consistently loyal people that I knew. And for that trifling heffa to take advantage of him time and time again? My blood was boiling and Jay clearly recognized the signs as he wrapped up his soliloquy about ol’ girl by telling me to not even think about exacting revenge on his behalf because The Universe takes care of messy people in their due time. Even though she’d done him wrong in a multitude of ways, Jay offered her way more grace than I thought she deserved.
“So, I have a question, if I may?” I asked.
“No doubt,” Jay replied.
“Why today? If y’all have been done for more than a year, why did she feel a need to call you?”
“Nostalgia, I guess? I heard whatever dude she’s with now turned out to be a scam artist and she’s probably hoping I was still pining over her. I’d actually planned to propose to her last Christmas, you know? Had the ring and everything and you know what deaded that? Walking into the condo we shared, seeing Vero on all fours taking it from the nigga who worked the front desk. Homegirl had a serious problem. I don’t know if she was a nympho or what, but that was the last straw. I didn’t even let her know that I’d seen them, just calmly left. Came back hours later and told her that we were done.”