by Robin Shope
He picked one up and read the postmark. Without opening it, and from having memorized them, he said, “In this one, you talked about how important your faith is to you. You wrote, and I quote, ‘A life without faith in God isn’t worth living.’” Joe set it back down and quickly picked up another. Again, he read the postmark and didn’t open it. From his heart he said, “In this one you talked about your birthday. It’s August twelfth. You got a new bathing suit…by the way, I’d like to see you in it sometime. In this other letter…” Joe took one out from the middle, “You talked about putting your dog down. Old Rusty was a Golden Retriever and you had him from the time you were ten and weren’t sure you could sleep well without him at the foot of your bed. You left tear marks and some of the words were smeared from them. Go ahead and look if you want.”
Joe waited while Lucy slipped the stationery out from the jagged edges of where it had been opened. She read it to herself. It was just as Joe had said. Lucy ran her fingers over the smudged words. She looked up at him.
He continued, ready with a new envelope in his hand. “In this one you talked about your dad’s heart attack and treatment. He had a top-notch heart specialist. By the way, the doctor is a personal friend of mine.”
“So that’s how you knew about Dad’s heart condition.”
Joe was on a roll and picked up another envelope. “In this one, you talked about wanting to go back to college and finish your degree but you felt you were needed at the newspaper since your dad still wasn’t doing well…”
“Okay, I get it. I get it.” She held up her hand to stop him from rattling through them all. There was one letter in particular she dreaded. If he read that one, she’d completely fall apart. Please, God, make him stop.
“After Steve’s death, I went into private practice thinking a change in the type of patients I treated would be good for me. But it wasn’t so. Lucy, your letters…no, not the letters but you, you brought me through numerous dark moments. Now, two years later, I am returning them to you.” Joe began putting them into order by date. When finished, he set them in front of her. “They have found their way back home to you.”
Lucy looked at them for several minutes, gathering her thoughts before speaking again. “When you walked into the newspaper early December, did you come for the job or to give these back?”
“I was there to return your letters.”
“From that very first day, Mike said you had come for a reason. I thought he was crazy, but he was right. Why didn’t you just tell me the truth in the beginning?” Lucy wanted to know. Had to know.
“Because I felt like I had known you for so long, dreamed of you for so long. When I walked in that snowy day and there you were, walking up to the counter as though you had not a care in the entire world, I thought to myself, ‘There she is. She’s as full of spunk as I had imagined.’ My heart caught at the sight of you and suddenly I realized I couldn’t turn around and walk back out the door, never to see you again. Not once I had found you. The only chance I had was if I hung around long enough for you to get to know me. With a bit of luck, I thought you might someday grow to love me, too. It was important for you to see me as a man, not as Steve’s shrink. I didn’t know how to do that.
“I was just reaching into my briefcase for the letters when you mentioned the job posting. I had googled the paper so many times that I knew about it but it didn’t occur to me until that moment it might be the way for you to get to know me. Suddenly, it became the only thing I wanted to do in the entire world—live in a small town, writing words that inspired people, and being close to you. Mike was right; I was not who I appeared to be.”
“I’m…speechless.” Lucy looked lovingly into Joe’s face. “When I read your last editorial in the paper, I knew I had to find you and tell you I loved you, beg your forgiveness.”
“I am the one who needs forgiveness.”
“Joe, what if you had just handed me the letters and turned around to walk out that day a month ago? I never would have gotten to know you. I never would have fallen in love with you.”
“And we wouldn’t be sitting here right now having this conversation.”
“That day driving into Chicago, I was so sure you would follow me back.”
“But then Angela gave you a bum steer?”
“She sure did.”
Joe moved to Lucy’s side of the booth and cupped her face in his hands. “I love you, Lucy. Only you.”
“Finally! You said it! I have prayed you would say those words to me.”
“I wanted to tell you I loved you when you took me to the Cotton Candy House, but I had to tell you the whole truth first. I know you loved Steve very much; the letters are proof enough of that. I don’t want Steve to be a ghost between us, keeping us from our happiness.”
“I don’t want that either.” Lucy couldn’t meet Joe’s gaze.
“Something is wrong.”
“Nothing,” Lucy insisted shutting her eyes.
“Do you remember how many letters you sent to Steve?”
“Yes,” Lucy opened her eyes and focused her gaze ahead as she remembered. “I wrote once a week for two years. The last one was at Christmastime and there were one hundred and four letters altogether.”
“Here are your love letters, Lucy. Count them.”
Lucy had no idea what that had to do with anything but she would do as Joe asked. She began counting, laying each to the side making a second pile as she went. “There’s one hundred and three letters here, but I’m sure I wrote one hundred and four. I kept track on my calendar.” Lucy looked at Joe. “You must have lost one.”
Joe reached into his pocket and took out the last one, handing it to her.
Lucy turned it over in her hand. “It’s never been opened,” she gasped.
“That’s because it arrived a few days after Steve died. He never read your last letter.”
“He never opened this one?” She shook her head.
“No.”
“Why didn’t you open it and read it? I never would have known. No one would have known.”
“It never seemed right for me to do that.” He brushed aside the lock of hair that always fell in her eyes. His voice was low, “Give me another chance with you.”
“I just hired you back at the paper, didn’t I?” she half smiled as she wiped away her tears with a paper napkin.
“I feel as though something has just happened between us that I need to fix.”
“Some things cannot be changed overnight.” She drew a breath.
The Christmas Edition
The Christmas Edition
Chapter Twenty-Two
January 8
“Hey, let’s go for a drive, Boss!” Joe swiveled Lucy around in her chair until she faced him.
“Haven’t we got plenty of work to do right here, Ace? You set a high bar for us over the holidays and we can’t afford to get into a January slump now.” She playfully cuffed his chin.
“I say we need a break. There is something important I want to show you.” Joe pulled Lucy to her feet and kissed the tip of her nose.
“Well, all right. It’s almost noon so we can chalk this up to lunch.” Lucy agreed as she put on her coat and fished under her desk for her boots.
They drove out of town, past the Ma’s Diner sign and right on by Sugar Plum Road. Lucy looked back over her shoulder with longing. “I sure do miss that house.”
“I know you do.” Joe reached over and took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “It was a fine house.”
Joe turned his left signal on and drove onto the lake road. It’s a nice day for a ride . The sky was clear which made the air frigid, but seeing the sun in the blue sky felt good. The dips and turns in the road were familiar and comforting. In a few more months, the weather would be warm and roadways would fill with blue chicory and Queen Anne’s lace. She couldn’t wait.
“Okay, just where are we going?” Lucy asked not able to hold in her excitement any longer.
&nb
sp; “You’ll see.” He answered with a gleam in his eye. “We’re almost there.”
After a string of hard shoulder mailboxes, Joe turned onto a private drive.
“I’ve lived here all my life and never knew this road existed,” Lucy told Joe.
Joe didn’t answer. He kept right on smiling and driving. Smiling and driving.
They drove on for several minutes more, slowing as the wheels of the vehicle dipped in and out of ruts. The drive snaked around between trees covered in ice and snow. Then they came to a stop in front of a small cottage painted white. The one story had lovely old gingerbread trim all the way around it. “What do you think?”
“Are you buying this?” She looked at Joe.
“I’m thinking about it. I can’t live over your parent’s garage forever, you know.”
“You are full of surprises, aren’t you?”
Joe smiled mischievously as he got out. “I’ll race you to the front porch.”
This time he didn’t go around to help Lucy out first. Instead, he took off running as fast as he could up to the front porch. Breathless, he turned around to see Lucy slowly walking up, hands in her pockets.
“No fair you were supposed to run, yet here you are taking your own sweet time instead,” he good-naturedly scolded.
“You win this time, Joe.” Lucy walked up and kissed his cheek. She stood next to Joe and looked around. “What a view. The woods are thick, too. Very private.”
“Do you suppose there are any hidden leaves in there that are yet unnoticed?” Half a smile slid up on Joe’s face.
“I imagine so.” Lucy smiled right back up at him. “This is a fabulous piece of property. Now you have piqued my interest. I can’t wait to see inside the cottage.”
Joe put his arm around her, levering just enough of his strength to hold her still.
“We’ll go in a minute but first I want to tell you about the creek that wiggles out from the woods. You can’t see it from here but it’s still there. Listen. Can you hear it?”
Lucy enthusiastically cuddled into Joe. She remained quiet. “I do hear it. I can imagine you sitting out here in the summer watching for deer while listening to your creek. I’ll have to buy you a house-warming gift. How about a rocking chair?”
“Just one rocking chair? But I count two of us here.” He caught her chin with his fingertips.
Lucy didn’t answer. She was preoccupied with her own thoughts.
“Come on, now it’s time to show you around inside the place.” Joe put the key in the lock and they walked inside. Lucy looked around the living room while he went to the back of the cottage. “There’s a butler’s pantry off the kitchen,” he called. “Come and look.”
“I love that they kept the old glass in the top cabinets.” Lucy ran her fingers over the wavy glass that felt so delicate. She walked from room to room, opening closets and gazing out the windows. When she had been through all the rooms, she went back into the living room where Joe now waited.
“There’s two working fireplaces—one in the living room and the other in the bedroom.” Joe leaned on the mantle.
“Yes, I noticed that, but before you light any fires, you better get the chimneys checked out. There is a lot of wildlife around here and a bird or squirrel might have found the pipe to be a comfortable winter home.”
“I’ll be sure to remember that. Well, tell me, what do you think of the place?”
“It’s all original and still in excellent shape. I must congratulate you. This old house is a gem.”
“If I buy it, will you live here with me?” His arms went around her. He leaned his forehead on hers and their noses touched.
Lucy eased away, but not by much. “Joe, you might as well know, I was offered a position at a law firm.” She gave a deep sigh and bit her lower lip.
Joe emotionally stumbled and his face showed this news caught him by surprise. “I hadn’t counted on that.”
“I only said I was offered a position. I haven’t told you if I took it or not.”
Now Joe could see the bite of her lip only served to keep her from laughing as Lucy smiled in a foxy manner.
“Ah, you’re teasing me, aren’t you, Boss?” He shook his finger at her.
“Yes, I am teasing you, Ace. I turned it down at the time of the offer; I just like messing with you.” Lucy smacked him on the behind and Joe caught her by the wrist, swinging her around to face him.
Joe dug in one of the pockets of his worn jeans trying to find something. “Hang on a minute while I find it.” He checked the other pocket. Then slowly he pulled out a silver diamond ring. He looked at it for a bit, turning it this way and that. It caught the sun coming in through the old, wavy windows of the house and sent sparkles around the room. Joe held it up to Lucy. “Marry me?”
“Marry you?” Lucy hummed. She never would have expected this. Not this soon, anyway. She hardly had a chance to catch her breath since Joe had returned to town. Something made her stall.
“Lucy, in all seriousness, I know this is not the house you imagined yourself living in but that was your old dream. I thought you might have a new dream, one we can share.” He wore a lovable smile. “Marry me?”
Her mind slipped into neutral. Marriage? “Ah, would you mind repeating the question?”
“This isn’t as hard as you’re making it to be. It’s simply a yes or no question. Will you marry me, Lucy?” Joe was still smiling, but the longer she took in answering, the more his smile began to wane. “You were expecting flowers and candlelight for your proposal, weren’t you?”
“No…”
“Then it’s the house, isn’t it? You don’t like this house? That’s okay with me, we can find another one. I don’t care where we live. I just want to live with you. Forever.”
“Joe, the house is fine. Perfect actually and with a bit of time, I know I will like it even better than the other place.”
“Then what?” Joe pulled a lock of curly hair from her eyes.
“Joe…I can’t.” Lucy walked to one of the windowsills. She sat at the edge of it.
His smile crumpled right along with his hope. “I know what is holding you back. You’re still in love with Steve.” Joe touched the nape of her neck and then her shoulder.
Lucy hung her head. “Yes, it’s because of Steve.” When she held her head up, tears were streaming down her face.
“I love you with all my heart, Lucy, and I will be the best husband for you. However I can not, I won’t compete with a ghost.”
Lucy stood up as she pulled the one hundred forth letter from her pocket. It was all crinkled but remained unopened. “It’s time you read my last letter to Steve.” She held it out to him.
“This wasn’t written to me. I can’t. It’d be wrong for me to read it.”
“This is no time to be reticent. You read the others.”
“Yea, but those were different. Steve had already opened and read them.”
“Open it.” Her voice was flat but the tears just kept right on streaming. “Before I can give you an answer about marrying you, I want you to read my last letter. Then you can ask me to marry you again— if you still want to.”
“ If I still want to?” Joe looked at her long and hard.
Lucy watched as Joe tore open the top of the envelope.
He took out the pages and read the curvy letters written in ink.
Dearest Steve,
I seem to have had another week of sleepless nights. Today, I was up at dawn again. As usual, I reached for my Bible and read the passage in Proverbs about how God has always known me. I find that comforting especially these days since I feel I really have not known myself or been myself for a while.
After reading my Bible, I read my favorite poem. I bet you still remember that Robert Frost is the author of it. It’s the one about two paths diverging in a yellow wood and taking the one less traveled. I guess that is the theme of my heart these days. I have been on the road well traveled and it's not what God has for me. He
has tamped down a special path for me to travel, and at long last, I've decided to be obedient to Him, and follow, even if it means I must hurt someone I really care about.
Steve, I have changed and am no longer the person I once was. We both have grown but in different directions—away from one another. Steve, this is so hard for me to say, but I don’t love you. Not in the way a woman should love the man she is to marry. If I weren’t honest with you, then my words would be empty and meaningless.
Now that you are safely home in the States, and in good care, it’s time you know. I am breaking off our commitment. I don't believe you are the man God has chosen for me, nor am I the girl meant for you. Please forgive me. Be well.