by Dana James
Be very granular. Include authors you like to read, movement classes you enjoy, or routines that bring balance and harmony to your life. Leave alcohol and pleasure foods off the list for now. I want you to find activities outside the sensations of food. But otherwise, don’t limit yourself. If you love to paint but you haven’t picked up a brush in twenty years, that’s okay—if it still brings you joy, add it to the list.
Once you’ve listed at least thirty things, sort them by frequency—things you can do daily, monthly, seasonally, and annually. When I did this for myself, I wrote “swimming in the Mediterranean” on the annual list. While I’d love to do that daily, it won’t happen while I live in the United States, but it did direct my summer vacation to Italy that year. It was worth investing money in something that truly made me feel joyful.
You should end up with more daily activities than monthly, seasonal, or annual ones because the greater the pool of daily activities, the more options you have for adding daily fulfillment to your life. You probably won’t do each thing every day, but the idea is to think of things you can do often because they don’t require much effort or advance planning. Even if the only thing you do on a given day is to meditate for ten minutes or read a bedtime story to your kids, your life is going to feel good because you’ve done at least one thing that makes you feel joyful. If you do more, then you’ve added more richness to your life.
Fulfillment List
DAILY
MONTHLY
SEASONALLY
ANNUALLY
Visit http://bit.ly/2ruRxZD for a printable version of this worksheet.
Remember that fulfillment is about connection to yourself, others, the earth, and a higher purpose. Let that guide you if you get stuck. Sometimes, you’ve just forgotten what you like. If you need some inspiration, take a look at the lists of activities for each archetype below. I want you to become a complete woman, and one way to do that is by exploring the elements of yourself that you might not have paid attention to for a while.
In addition to being pleasurable in their own right, the activities on this fulfillment list can also be useful when you want to form replacement habits. If you’ve been getting hidden rewards from your eating habits, think about how these other activities may provide the same—or even greater—benefit. When I was breaking my sugar compulsion, I’d often watch a TED Talk (or three) until the urge subsided. It was a transitional fix while I worked on the underlying cause of the cravings, and it provided the same reward—a way to switch off—with none of the post-eating shame.
Archetype Activities List
NURTURER Positive Traits: compassion, loyalty, warmth
ACTIVITIES:
Cooking dinner with friends
Reading a bedtime story to or playing with your kids
Laughing with family or friends
Buying flowers for yourself
Shopping at the farmers market
Volunteering at a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter
WONDER WOMAN Positive Traits: dignity, drive, intellect
ACTIVITIES:
Taking a foreign language class
Reading a thought-provoking article or book
Watching TED Talks or listening to podcasts
Taking an exercise class
Visiting a museum
FEMME FATALE Positive Traits: sensuality, playfulness, fun
ACTIVITIES:
Date night with your partner
Taking photographs
Dancing
Reading a juicy novel
Taking a luxurious bath
Making love to your partner
Getting a massage
ETHEREAL Positive Traits: creativity, intuition, imagination
ACTIVITIES:
Morning meditation
Taking a yoga class
Painting
Reading spiritual books
Burning incense, candles, or essential oils
Hiking in the woods
Swimming in the ocean
Don’t think of the items on your Fulfillment List as other things you need to do. It’s about knowing what you like to do. For a life filled with more richness, try incorporating two things from the list into your routine every day and planning at least one of the less-regular activities—like a vacation—for sometime in the near future. Engaging in activities from your Fulfillment List is how you’re supposed to live. These aren’t monetary riches but life’s riches.
THE BEAUTY OF CONNECTION
While every woman’s Fulfillment List will look different, there is one thing that every women needs to include if they want to live a fulfilling life and ascend to their crown: connection. Our biology is hardwired for human connection (after all, it takes at least two people to continue the survival of our species). According to Candace Pert, PhD, who discovered the first opioid receptor in the brain, human connection is why we produce the body’s neurochemicals. Pert calls these chemicals “molecules of emotion.” She states that there are more than 250 neuropeptides that act as molecules of emotions. When you connect deeply with someone, serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and hundreds of other neuropeptides have the potential to be released and positively alter how you feel. This is part of the reason food and antidepressants are poor surrogates for intimate connection. They only target one or two individual neurotransmitters, not the hundreds of other neuropeptides.
Steve Cole, a genomic researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, observed that lonely people and social people had a different gene expression in 209 genes, many of which affected the immune system.1 According to Cole, “Loneliness really is one of the most threatening experiences we can have.”2 If loneliness damages the immune system, then it becomes a risk factor for depression, anxiety, heart disease, dementia, obesity, autoimmune conditions, and cancer—all diseases that are influenced by inflammation triggered by the immune response.
Similarly, when women with binge-eating tendencies perceive themselves to be socially isolated, their binge eating increases. Women who have recovered from an eating disorder say their recovery was largely influenced by a deeper connection with themselves and others.3 Recovery from other addictions, such as alcohol and recreational drugs, is also bolstered by connection. Community is part of the reason Alcoholics Anonymous can be so effective.
It’s not just a matter of finding a mate to make you feel connected. Germaine Greer, feminist and author of The Female Eunuch, said, “Many a housewife staring at the back of her husband’s newspaper, or listening to his breathing in bed is lonelier than any spinster in a rented room.” Connection is more than the presence of another person. It’s feeling like you belong and are valued. It’s the ability to give and receive affection. Connection feels warm and emotionally safe.
Being in the company of others in a group fitness class, a group meditation, or a yoga class will also elevate the molecules of emotion. There’s a bonding experience that takes place that doesn’t happen when you’re alone. It’s why boutique group fitness classes took off and why meditating in a group produces a more heightened sense of awareness than when you are on your own. It’s why more spiritually aligned women are hosting goddess and moon circles or are going to church. It’s why book clubs were created. It’s why tea salons came into existence. It’s why the Coliseum was erected. It’s why social media was invented. It’s about connection. Pleasure is the by-product.
How do you create an intimate and heartwarming connection? Be open and honest. Get curious about other people. Be vulnerable. Make the connection pure. Purity happens when you’ve salved your own childhood wounds with forgiveness and you’ve healed the scars of your past with a new interpretation.
My hope is
that this book has helped you do just that and that you continue to draw inspiration from it as you seek more fulfillment in your life. Connection is so fundamental for our feminine essence that I’ve curated interviews from well-known women who are at their crown, as well as videos for recipes, kundalini, EFT, meditation, and making teas. These are available at danajames.com. Consider this a place to go for inspiration and ideas as you begin your journey on the Archetype Model.
PARTING WORDS
Every woman deserves this information, and it’s my privilege to share it with you. I am deeply proud of the Archetype Model. I hope you have taken the steps toward reaching your crown and are inspired enough to share the archetype lifestyle with other women (and men—they’ll benefit too!). As we understand ourselves better and shed the insecurities that hold us back, we can connect on a deeper level. We become more open, more loving, and more united. We become the fabric of the new feminine way of thinking, feeling, and being, in a society that desperately needs new feminine role models. I hope you become one, and I trust you will.
APPENDIX A
Food Types
Vegetables
CRUCIFEROUS
Bok choy
Broccoli
Broccoli rabe
Brussels sprouts
Cabbage
Cauliflower
Collard greens
Kale
Kohlrabi
Mustard greens
Spinach
Swiss chard
Watercress
GREEN LEAFY
Arugula
Butter lettuce
Cress
Dandelion greens
Escarole
Frisée
Gem lettuce
Mixed greens
Romaine
GREEN
Arugula
Artichoke
Asparagus
Celery
Cucumber
Endive
Green beans
Okra
Peas
Snow peas
Sugar snap peas
Zucchini
RED
Radicchio
Radish
Red beets
Red bell peppers
Red onion
Tomatoes
ORANGE
Carrots
Orange bell peppers
YELLOW
Golden beets
Sweet corn
Yellow bell peppers
Yellow tomatoes
PURPLE
Eggplant
Purple cabbage
Purple carrots
Purple-sprouting broccoli
WHITE
Celeriac
Fennel
Garlic
Jicama
Leeks
Onions
Ramps
Scallions
Shallots
Sunchokes
BROWN
Mushrooms (shiitake, maitake, button, crimini, oyster, portobello)
Fruit
GREEN
Green apples
Honeydew melon
Kiwifruit
Limes
Pears
RED
Cherries
Guava
Pink and red grapefruit
Pomegranate
Raspberries
Red apples
Rhubarb
Strawberries
Watermelon
ORANGE
Apricots
Cantaloupe
Clementines
Gooseberries
Mango
Nectarines
Oranges
Papaya
Peaches
Persimmons
Tangerines
YELLOW
Golden kiwifruit
Grapefruit
Lemons
Passionfruit
Pineapple
Yellow watermelon
PURPLE
Acai
Blackberries
Blueberries
Boysenberries
Dates
Figs
Plums
Prunes
Purple grapes
Complex Carbohydrates
GRAINS
Amaranth
Brown rice
Buckwheat
Millet
Quinoa
Wild rice
LEGUMES
Black beans
Cannellini beans
Chickpeas
Edamame
Flageolet beans
Lentils (orange, green, black)
Pinto beans
Red kidney beans
STARCHY VEGETABLES
Parsnips
Potatoes (white, red, and purple)
Pumpkin
Sweet potatoes
Turnips
Winter squash
Yams
Protein
OILY FISH
Arctic Char
Anchovies
Black cod
Halibut
Herring
Mackerel
Sardines
Trout
Tuna
Wild salmon
WHITEFISH
Cod
Dover Sole
Haddock
Hake
Flounder
Grey sole
Lemon sole
Mahi mahi
Monkfish
Perch
Red snapper
Skate
Sea bass
Sea bream
Tilapia
Whiting
SEAFOOD
Calamari
Clams
Crab
Lobster
Mussels
Octopus
Oysters
Scallops
Shrimp
POULTRY
Organic chicken
Organic duck
Organic turkey
RED MEAT
Grass-fed beef
Grass-fed bison
Grass-fed lamb
Grass-fed pork
Grass-fed veal
Grass-fed venison
PROTEIN POWDER
Collagen protein powder
Hemp protein powder
Pea protein powder
Rice protein powder
Fats
NUTS (RAW ONLY)
Almonds
Brazil nuts
Cashews
Chestnuts
Coconuts
Hazelnuts
Macadamia
Pecans
Pine nuts
Pistachios
Walnuts
SEEDS (RAW ONLY)
Chia
Flax
Hemp
Pumpkin
Sesame
Sunflower
OILS
Avocado oil
Coconut oil
Extra-virgin olive oil
Hemp seed oil
Macadamia oil
Walnut oil
VEGETABLES
Avocado
Olives
He
rbs and Spices
FRESH
Basil
Chives
Cilantro
Oregano
Parsley
Rosemary
Thyme
DRIED
Cinnamon
Coriander powder
Cumin
Curry powder
Fennel seeds
Fenugreek
Mustard seeds
Nutmeg
Paprika
Pepper
Saffron
Sea salt
Star anise
Turmeric
Vanilla bean
Super Foods
Aloe vera juice
Barley grass
Cacao
Chlorophyll
Rose water
Spirulina
Wheatgrass
APPENDIX B
Kundalini Kriyas for Each Archetype
As a reminder, videos for these kriyas can be found at danajames.com.
NURTURER
1. Cat and Cow—2 minutes
Come onto your hands and knees in a tabletop position. Your hands are shoulder-width apart with your fingers pointing forward. The knees are directly below the hips. Close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply. As you inhale, tilt the pelvis forward, arching the spine down and stretching the head and neck back. When you exhale, tilt the pelvis up, arching the spine toward the ceiling and bringing the chin to the chest.
2. Fists of Anger—3 minutes
Sit cross-legged with your spine straight. Focus your mind on anything and everything that makes you angry. Continue to bring up these anger points throughout the meditation. Make an “O” shape with your mouth and begin to breathe deeply and rhythmically. As you breathe, touch each thumb to the base of the pinky finger on the same hand. Close the rest of the fingers over the thumbs to form fists. Raise the arms and begin a backstroke-type movement over the head, alternating each side (right/left) as you swing up, over, and back around again. As you continue, increase the movement of the arms and breath. This helps release stored emotions in the body like anger and frustration. To end, interlock your fingers on both hands, stretch the arms up overhead, palms facing up, and inhale deeply through the O-mouth. Picture yourself surrounded in white, healing light. Exhale out the O-mouth.