An unholy yowl emanated from Dev. “Damn!” She shot up from her throne chair and fixed Meredith with a dark, ominous gaze. “I hate when the newbies ask that!” She narrowed her eyes as she stepped toward Meredith, menacing fangs sprouting from her mouth and hands extended with glossy, blood-red talons glinting in the light. And then Meredith glimpsed the pair of horns creeping out from just above Dev’s bangs. The walls appeared to breathe as they reverberated with the tormented cries and angst-ridden wails of the damned. Dev’s petrifying actions had a terrified Meredith slinking down in her chair, covering her eyes and whimpering.
All of a sudden, lightning flashed and thunder crashed throughout the room. The light was as blinding as the noise deafening and Meredith’s trembled even harder.
Spinning on her heel and then stamping her foot with enough force to crack marble, Dev’s resulting howl was akin to that of a wounded beast. “Yes, all right, already,” she shrieked, throwing her hands up into the air as she looked skyward. “I know the drill. I’ll honor the damned contract.” The flashing light and clapping booms ceased immediately and Dev’s shoulders slumped.
After a few moments of silence, Meredith finally braved a peek through her fingers. “What—what was that?”
“That,” Dev said, hiking her thumb upward, “was a not-so-gentle reminder from the big guy upstairs. You know, the guy with the G name you so merrily keep invoking.” Dev rolled her eyes. “My competitor and I have a pact when it comes to borderline cases like yours,” she continued. “I get to keep them as long as they don’t ask if they can try to rectify their mistakes. But if they ask then I have no choice but to give them a chance to redeem their souls.” She clapped her hand against her forehead and groaned. “Damn! And here things were going so well between us before you had to go and open that blasted goody-two-shoes trap of yours.”
Meredith sucked in a deep breath. “You mean I don’t have to stay here?” Her face brightened. “I can go to Heaven instead?”
“Hah!” Dev gave her an incredulous look. “Wouldn’t it be nice if it was that easy? Well, forget it, Meredith. You’re going to have to earn your passage upstairs and, believe me, it’s not going to be easy.”
Meredith stood up and nervously smoothed her dress. “I understand. That’s fine. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep those awful things from happening to Jack and Karyn. Just tell me what I need to do.”
“Hmmm.” Dev gnawed on a fingernail as she circled Meredith slowly. A wicked chuckle bubbled in her throat, ultimately becoming full-fledged laughter. “Oh, wouldn’t that be deliciously funny,” Dev said to herself, and Meredith winced. “Yes, I have it,” Dev said excitedly as she stopped her pacing and faced Meredith. “Here’s what we’ll do.”
“Something tells me I’m not going to like this,” Meredith muttered under her breath.
Dev nodded. “Perhaps not,” she gave a dismissive wave of her hand, “but then, consider the alternative, dear. Have you ever tried to get your hair clean after spending all day in a tar pool?” She arched a brow.
Meredith sighed. “Go ahead. Let me have it.”
“Good. We’ll have a juicy little chat just like two high school chums,” Dev said.
Suddenly they were sitting on swivel stools, sipping whipped cream-topped chocolate malteds as they leaned their elbows on the green marble soda fountain bar in front of them. Each was garbed in a short pleated skirt, knee-high socks, penny loafers and crewneck sweaters with white button-down shirt collars peeking out. Meredith noticed their hairstyles in the mirror behind the fountain. They both sported flips.
“I’ve always had a fondness for the 60s preppy look,” Dev explained with a grin as she swung her feet.
Rather than fight it Meredith breathed another sigh and just kept sipping as she listened to Dev’s proposal.
“The easy way would be to send you back to just before you pulled your nasty little trick on your ex-husband,” Dev said.
“Meredith’s eyebrows shot up. “You can do that?”
Dev looked at her as if she had holes in her head. “Well of course I can.” She huffed a laugh and sipped from her malted.
“Great!” Meredith said.
“But I’m not going to,” Dev said with a wicked smile. “No, what I have in mind will be so much more interesting…so ingenious…so terribly creative. But,” she gave Meredith a warning look, “if you fail to change the future and save your friends from their cruel fates then you’re all mine again. I have that clause in my contract with you know who.” Sneering, she looked skyward and Meredith’s gaze followed.
“Okay, I’m all ears,” Meredith said. Her ears instantly grew to cartoon-like size and Dev laughed hysterically while Meredith gasped, slapping her hands against the giant protrusions on either side of her head. “Dev!”
“Sorry, darling. I couldn’t resist.” Dev snapped her fingers, restoring Meredith’s ears to normal size. “Honestly, sometimes I just crack myself up.” She laughed again and then settled down, taking a deep breath before she continued. “So anyway, you’re going to go back to Earth and you’ll remember everything that’s happened—but you’re not allowed to tell anyone what’s going on. Understand?”
Meredith nodded. It sounded easy enough so far.
“You’ll have to fix things without telling Jack or Karyn that you fell down an elevator shaft and went boom and then ended up in Hell after you died. And you can’t tell them that you’ve seen their futures either. And if you attempt to divulge any of the aforementioned forbidden information, you’ll choke on your words before they ever leave your mouth.” Dev’s hands flew to her throat and she gagged to illustrate her point. “Got it?” She asked with a strangled breath.
“Got it.” Meredith nodded again. “So I’m going back before the time that I went to Jack’s hotel suite?”
“Uh…no. The morning after.”
“You mean I come back into the room and untie Jack before anyone finds him?”
“Uh-uh.” Dev shook her head negatively. “Meredith has done her dirty work and now she’s gone. She’s outta there. She’s taken a hike. She’s nowhere to be found.”
“Okay.” Meredith swallowed a slug of her chocolate malted. “Now I’m confused. How can I do anything if I’m not there?”
“Well, you’ll be there, but Meredith won’t.”
“Huh?”
“Remember that devilish pair I told you about? The sneaky little hotel maid who finds Jack, and her sleazy photographer boyfriend?”
“I think I understand.” Meredith nodded apprehensively. “You’re sending me back as the hotel maid.”
Dev laughed. “Guess again, darling.”
Chapter Seven
“Get your ass over here right away,” Alicia Gonciarz whispered into the phone. “Trust me, you’ll make us a fortune with these photographs—but you’ve gotta make it fast.”
“Come on, please,” Jack called from the bedroom. “Untie me before anyone else sees me like this.”
Alicia walked back into the bedroom and stood there primly. “I’m sorry, Mr. McKenna, but it’s against hotel rules for me to do anything but call security in a situation like…uh…this.” Her eyes scanned Jack and his embarrassing predicament and she couldn’t help giggling. “Not that I’ve ever been in a situation exactly like this before.” Focusing on Jack McKenna’s scowl, Alicia cleared her throat and composed herself. “Um, sorry. I’ve already called security and they’ll have a man up here as soon as possible.”
“God damn it!” Jack shouted, struggling against his bindings to no avail. “I swear to God, I’ll strangle that woman with my bare hands when I get a hold of her.”
“What woman?” Alicia asked eagerly, hoping to get the name of the obviously vengeful woman who’d orchestrated the hilarious scenario. The more information Ricky gave the rags along with his photos, the more bucks they’d make. Hell, if they played their cards right, she and Ricky could be fucking themselves silly in the huge mansion they’d purchase in Beverly H
ills. “Who did this to you, Mr. McKenna?”
“M—” Jack started to spit out and then, eyeing the attractive, shapely young maid, he stopped. “Never mind. It’s not important,” he grumbled.
Damn! Alicia’s shoulders slumped. “Uh…I’ll just wait in the other room, sir.” She went into the main living area of the luxurious suite and plopped down on one of the cushy chairs, sinking into the deeply padded brocade upholstery and imagining that she was a wealthy socialite guest instead of someone who was employed to clean up after them. “Fucking rich bastards,” she fumed under her breath as she fingered the ornately turned gold-leafed wood on the arm of the chair. “They think they’re so much better than anyone else.” Her gaze rested on the door to the bedroom and she snickered when she thought of Jack’s predicament. “Oh boy, you really must have fucked over some woman real good,” she muttered under her breath. She snickered again and slowly nodded. “Yeah, you fucking deserve whatever happens to you, Jackie boy.” She popped the chocolate truffle she’d palmed from the dessert cart in the bedroom into her mouth and savored it.
A short while later there was a light knock at the door and Alicia vaulted from the chair to peer through the peephole. She yanked the door open. “Hey, baby,” she cooed, wrapping her arms around the handsome young man’s neck and kissing him as soon as she’d pulled him into the suite and closed the door. “We gotta hot one in there. This is gonna make us a shitload of money, Ricky.”
A hungry look in his eye, Ricky Scholl grinned and pulled his camera from the pocket of his security guard uniform. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
Alicia preceded Ricky into the bedroom. “Security’s here, Mr. McKenna,” she said, stepping aside so that Ricky could enter the room.
“It’s about fucking time,” Jack barked. “Get me out of this, will you?”
“Yes, sir,” Ricky said. “As soon as I take some photos.” He started clicking away.
“Photos!” Jack bellowed. “For what?”
“Hotel policy, sir. In case there are any lawsuits brought against the hotel.” He snapped another photo. “The police will also want them for their records.” He snapped more pictures as he rounded the bed, catching every angle of Jack’s embarrassing predicament.
“Jesus Christ, is this absolutely necessary? If these photos got out I’d be ruined.”
Ricky continued to snap as he zoomed in for close-ups. “Trust me, sir, these photos will be kept safe from prying eyes. It’s just a precautionary measure for your safety and the safety of the hotel.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a jackknife, flipping it open.
Jack blanched as Ricky turned the large blade back and forth, the light glinting from its polished metal as Ricky approached the bed.
“Now let me get you out of this,” Ricky said. Jack breathed a sigh of relief as the sharp knife easily sliced through the nylon stockings halfway between the knots at the scrolled ironwork and Jack’s wrists and ankles.
The first thing Jack did after leaping from the bed was to yank the sock puppet from his penis and then he tore off the crotchless panties, tossing them aside with disgust. Then he covered his limp cock with a pillow. Alicia immediately grabbed up the two discarded items.
“What are you doing?” Jack said.
“I’m going to put them in the trash for you, sir,” she lied. Dollar signs danced in her head as she imagined selling the telltale items to the highest bidder among their criminal cohorts. She could almost smell the seawater slapping against the shore of their oceanfront mansion now.
“No.” Jack shook his head. “I’ll take care of them. Leave them here.” Nodding, Alicia deposited the items on the bed.
When Jack leaned over to pull the knotted nylons from his ankles, he heard the camera whizzing again and turned to find Ricky taking additional pictures.
“Additional evidence,” Ricky said, clearly stifling a grin as he pointed to the I’ve been a very bad boy message scrawled across Jack’s ass in indelible ink.
Jack muttered a string of obscenities as he grabbed the towel Alicia held out to him and started wiping the congealed desserts from his body. When he finished, he picked up his wallet from the nightstand… And then his shoulders slumped.
“How am I going to get out of here?” He looked around the room. “I don’t have any clothes.”
“She took everything?” Alicia asked, her hopes elevating again. Jack nodded woefully. “If you just give me your sizes, Mr. McKenna, I’ll be glad to go downstairs to the men’s clothing shop and bring you something. And, of course, I’ll need your credit card.” She smiled, imagining all the jewel-encrusted designer gowns she could snap up for herself from the hotel’s boutique. And maybe she’d even have enough time to pick up a tux or two for Ricky. They’d be outta there before that rich bastard McKenna even had a clue about what they’d done. She licked her lips.
“Thanks. I’d really appreciate that.” Jack opened his wallet and then, pausing for a moment, snapped it closed again. “On second thought just charge it to my room.”
Alicia’s expression fell. “Certainly, sir.” Damn. She hadn’t counted on him being quite so savvy. After jotting down his sizes, she turned to leave, giving Ricky an enthusiastic wink before she left the room.
“I just need to ask you a few quick questions before I leave, sir,” Ricky said, taking a small spiral notepad and pen out of his breast pocket. “To document the event for the hotel’s records.” He was always careful to get as many details as possible for the editors at the supermarket rags, just the way Alicia had taught him. “Your full name and address?”
“Look,” Jack held up his hand like a crossing guard, “I’d really rather not give—”
“Sure, no problem,” Ricky cut him off. With a shrug, he walked to the room’s telephone and reached for the receiver. “We’ll let the cops handle it instead.”
“Wait!” Jack said. “I don’t want the police involved in this.” He sucked in a deep breath. “My name is Jack McKenna. I live at—” He stopped abruptly, watching the young man’s features contort as he clutched his chest. “Hey, kid…are you all right?”
“Yeah,” Ricky said in halting tones. “Must be that chilidog I had for…” With a groan, he keeled over and hit the floor.
Alarmed, Jack scrambled to the security guard’s side. He felt for a pulse—it wasn’t there. “Shit! Hold on, kid, I’ll get help.”
Just as Jack picked up the phone, Ricky propped up on his elbows. “What happened? Where am I?” he asked in a groggy voice.
Jack slammed down the receiver and went to the young man’s side again. “You passed out. It looked like you were having a heart attack. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Ricky looked up at the face hovering over him. “Jack? Jack is that you?”
Jack nodded. “Yes. You’re in my hotel suite, remember? After taking the photos you started in on your questions and then you collapsed.”
With a bright grin, Ricky threw his arms around Jack’s neck, pulling him into a hug. “Jack, sweetheart—”
“Whoa! Hold on a minute, kid,” Jack said, trying to back out of the boy’s embrace. “I’m not into that kind of stuff.”
“But it’s me, M—” Meredith choked on her name. Try as she might she couldn’t get it past her lips. Each time she tried she gagged.
Wincing as he finally extricated himself from the young man’s clinch, Jack backed away, fixing Ricky with a dubious look. “Uh…you’re obviously disoriented. Maybe I’d better call a doctor.”
“Jack, what’s the matter? Don’t you know me?”
Knitting his eyebrows, Jack nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re the security guard that the maid called after she found me.”
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Meredith took a good look at Jack. He was naked with dried splotches of dessert clinging to his skin. Her eyes widened as the memories came flooding back. Then she looked down at herself, running her fingers over the security guard uniform she wore, gasping w
hen she discovered that her breasts were gone and that, further down, she had a big wad of stuff between her legs. The wad twitched.
With a whopping wail, Meredith shot to her feet. “Holy shit! I’ve got a penis!” Her gaze was glued to her crotch as she grabbed it.
“Most men do.” Unable to keep from laughing, Jack scratched his head. “Just keep it in your pants, okay?”
“And…and I’ve got a man’s voice!”
“Whew,” Jack cringed, “that fall you took must have really knocked you for a loop, kid,” he said, shaking his head. “Here, why don’t you lie down until you feel better.” He motioned toward the bed.
Drop jawed, Meredith stepped over to the bed and sat on the edge. “Then it was all real…it wasn’t a dream,” she said, examining her new muscled body. After a moment, she rose from the bed and gingerly walked to the mirror above the dresser. When she saw the reflection of a striking young man staring back at her, there was a sharp intake of breath. As she touched her face she saw the young man do the same and she shuddered. “It’s really me. I’m the photographer, just like she said I’d be.” Her brows furrowed as she turned from side to side. She raised her arm and flexed the biceps, her eyes bulging along with the muscle. “Whoa! And I’m a hunk!”
Jack eyed the kid warily.
Alicia came back into the bedroom, her arms laden with several bags, frowning when she saw her boyfriend. “Ricky, why are you still here? Shouldn’t you be off making your report, hmm?” She motioned with her rolling eyes for Ricky to take a hike.
Meredith stared at the beautiful young woman, narrowing her eyes. “You’re Alicia,” she spat with disdain.
Alicia rolled her eyes. “Well, of course I am. What the—”
“He keeled over shortly after you left,” Jack explained, grabbing the pillow again and covering his naked cock.
“Ricky!” Alicia gasped, returning her gaze to her boyfriend. “Are you all right?”
“I thought he was having a heart attack,” Jack continued. “I tried to call a doctor but he wouldn’t let me. I think he must have hit his head when he fell because he’s rather…uh…disoriented.” Jack stifled a chuckle.
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