Reminiscence (Statera Saga Book 1)

by Amy Marie

  “Okay, open your eyes,” I say, watching for his reaction with enthusiastic interest. I can barely contain my smile.

  Darcy opens his eyes to the bright light and initially crouches, covering his face by instinct.

  I giggle, anticipating his reaction. “No, it’s okay, look.”

  Realizing he isn’t in any pain, he straightens himself and looks around amazed.

  I watch his face as he drinks in the beautiful sunlit scene.

  Using some of the school’s projectors, four looped videos that I took of scenes at the river from all angles are displaying on each of the four walls of the room. The natural sounds of the river play over the speakers, giving us the impression that we are in the middle of the beautiful scenery. Knowing there is no way to get Darcy to the river during the day to spur any memories, I thought this might be the next best option.

  A small part of me is glowing at the opportunity to give Darcy a view of the place during the day. It’s something he hasn’t been able to see in hundreds of years.

  He gawks in all directions with a look of sincere appreciation. He then turns to look at me, and I’m hit with the full force of his affection.

  He’s beaming. In an instant, I’m trapped in his embrace as he lifts me up in a hug and spins me on the spot, laughing like I’ve never heard him laugh before.

  Feeling caught up in the emotion of the moment, I laugh with him in his arms, enjoying the affection.

  When he sets me down and looks into my eyes, the charge is there, crawling under the surface of my skin. I hold the contact and let wave after wave of memories hit me.

  My mind’s replaying many different flashes of moments together with Darcy at the river.

  One memory in particular comes unbidden and drowns out the rest. Just a quick flash of Eleanor’s voice speaking to Darcy: You’ve always been able to find me by the river, and you always will.

  The memory fades and I’m left staring into smiling hazel eyes.

  We sit and talk about the treasured spot and different memories that Darcy verifies. As he describes different events, I add my own point of view from the flashes in my mind.

  Darcy explains that this is where he first saw Eleanor, though she didn’t know he was there. He knew who she was from Gabriel’s descriptions, but he was too afraid to speak to her without an introduction from Gabriel.

  After a lengthy silence in which I can feel him gazing at me, he blurts out, “I knew I would find you again by the river.”

  While I don’t mind honoring the memory of the woman he knew, I find myself more and more upset when he tries to speak to Eleanor through me.

  At once, I wonder if I’m jealous of her. I glance at Darcy in sadness, wondering who and what he sees when he looks at me.

  Shaking my head, I remind myself that I don’t even know this man – if you could call him that – and there’s nothing to be jealous of. Though lately, when I meet his eyes, admittedly some feelings from her memories seem to linger in my head.

  Looking to the ground, I say, “That seems like a strange coincidence.”

  “It is not coincidence, it was meant to happen,” he says with surety.

  I shrug, not wanting to argue and spoil the mood.

  He reaches over to my face and turns it up to him, forcing me to look into his eyes. “You are the shining light in my darkness. This was meant to happen, have faith in that,” he says in earnest. He leans in dangerously close, and I inhale the deep masculine scent of him. Knowing that I should draw myself back, I give in for just a moment longer as he whispers, “My sunshine.”

  At the term of endearment, I pull away. That’s what he called her in my dream – her memory. Hurt washes over me as my fears are confirmed.

  He’s using me.

  “I’ve already told you, Darcy. I am not your Eleanor, and I’m not a replacement for her. I’m just Nora. I will do everything I can to unlock her memories to help you, but please stop using me this way.” The threat of tears reaches my eyes. I look away, hiding my emotion.

  “Nora,” he pauses, trying to get me to look at him.

  I refuse and he continues, “Nora, I know you think that when I look at you, all I see is the Eleanor I knew. But you do not understand.” He pulls my chin up again, forcing my full attention. “I am not looking at you. I am looking in you. You have what she had, and that is why you can see what she saw. I do not mistake you for her. You seem to think I am comparing you, and trying to reach her through you, but you have it all wrong.”

  He looks around as if searching for help in the room to try to explain.

  “The river!” he exclaims, pointing to the images on the wall. “A fine example. Look at the river here. It bears the same name that it did hundreds of years ago when it was named. It appears identical to the way it did back then, you can verify from your memories?”

  I nod in response, unsure where he’s going with this.

  “Do you think the water that is flowing through right now is the same water that flowed back then?”

  My head shakes negatively.

  “Of course it is different, though the river appears very similar. And yet, all the water is somehow connected. It knows where to flow by the path that was forged before by the previous waters.”

  “This is a bit more complicated than water,” I look away, irritated that his point actually made a little sense. “I can’t be her,” I say with a shrug, finding no more of a simple way to put my feelings into words.

  “I have not asked you to be. What I see and I admire in front of me… is you. The connection I feel, it is not with her, or you specifically. It is to what was, and is, inside both of you,” he leans closer.

  “What is it? This thing inside of us that we both share?” I ask, looking up into his eyes and finding the answer right as he speaks it.

  “Your soul,” he whispers as his lips meet mine.

  Chapter 21

  This feels right.

  It’s the only coherent thought in the jumble of emotions in my head.

  The rational part of me wants to run, knowing how out of character this is of me. I’m kissing someone I don’t even really know. But a different part of me – something much deeper – keeps me connected where I am, knowing that there’s no other option.

  Kissing Darcy opens up a glimpse to a whole new trove of hidden memories in my mind that are much more intimate than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. This connection is deep, and can only be described as timeless.

  Moments later, I shyly break away to take a breath and gather my thoughts that have lost all reason in the unexpected intimacy of the kiss.

  What Darcy said does seem to make perfect sense to me in some ways. I’ve always felt like an old soul in all aspects of my life. Maybe it’s because I am? Is it possible that part of Eleanor exists in our shared soul that carried over to me? Not quite re-incarnation, but something different?

  “I know it is overwhelming and confusing to you,” he reads the emotions on my face, “but when we have the Statera again, I think many of your questions will be answered.”

  “You don’t remember what information the book held?” I ask.

  “Parts of it come to me at different times, but it has been problematic for me to try to re-create the information and knowledge. It is quite complex. I do not want to get it wrong,” he admits.

  “One thing I don’t understand; if the Statera has been destroyed and re-written previously when it was hand written or passed down in storytelling, how did the information survive to be printed?” I ask.

  “The reminiscence,” he shrugs. “Gabe had said it would take years for the reminiscence to reveal the information, which is why it was written, and eventually printed, to help the process along.”

  “Well, won’t it eventually come to me? Do we really need the text?”

  “It requires more than you,” he says, looking down. “All of the information has always come from a combination of two people with the knowledge. A balanced
team. There are always two, so that one cannot corrupt it.”

  “But, did Gabriel…?” I trail off, but I already know the answer.

  “No, Nora. Gabriel was a guardian.”

  “Then…” I stop, remembering that Richard Grafton had passed down the Statera to Gabriel knowing that the ones who had the knowledge would find it again. If there was supposed to be two…

  “It’s you!” I say in discovery. “You have the reminiscence too!”

  I can’t believe I didn’t see it before now.

  “I have certainly lived a long enough life not to need it! But yes, Nora. Do you remember?”

  As he asks, I envision long nights working hard with Gabriel and Darcy, poring over the ancient text of the Statera. Although the pages can be seen in my mind, I can’t yet grasp what they contained.

  “Why us?” I ask him.

  He shrugs. “It is part of the souls inside each of us. With the knowledge comes the duty, I suppose.”

  “What do you remember about the book?” I ask.

  “It was written mainly in Latin with other various languages and symbols, but it was nearly impossible to translate. It was as if a mixture of different people had added to it over time. There were even some illustrations, and words that may have been Arabic, but we were unsure. We had limited resources back then. We had to rely much on the memories for clues. A great deal of it had to do with the elements. It is how we discovered the safeguard charm that gives us sanctuary.”

  “Did it give any clues on how to break your curse?” I ask.

  “If it did, I would not have understood it. Remember, I was not cursed until after the text was lost,” he says.

  “I just don’t understand how Talbot fits into this,” I say, shaking my head.

  “I only have theories. Bits and pieces from my own memories. He had barely ever spoken to me, always just an empty shell. The beginning of the Statera spoke of an ancient evil that existed to balance against the good powers and energies of creation. If the energy was perceived as good, then the opposite of the good was then represented by emptiness; the ceasing of existence. It is what I am reminded of when I look at Talbot. He is empty of emotion, and his goals are to destroy, leaving nothing behind.”

  “I can see why you didn’t want to lay all of this on me the first day. It’s almost like we’re talking about God versus the devil!” I say, shocked at the implications.

  “If you classify it religiously, yes. The energy and the emptiness can compare to that. But there is so much we do not understand, and so many different interpretations. I simply have always thought of it as old-fashioned good versus evil.” He shrugs.

  Continuing on, he explains, “If we were given the reminiscence to help us pass down the information to fight the evil, then it is almost as if Talbot was given his own power and immortality to do the opposite and stop us. If the souls inside of us have fought throughout time and passed down the knowledge, then the destructor inside of him has been there all along trying to stop us.”

  At Darcy’s words, I can almost picture it – the constant struggle through the ages.

  “The most success he has had, started when he cursed me. By cursing my body, he has trapped my soul. All that has been left for him to do is to continue to hunt for you and kill you off. I have suspected that there were other women like you who had the potential over the years, but he always found them first. I told you, I once caught a glimpse of him and he had just killed a young woman. He must have had reason to believe she would be like you.”

  Maybe that explains some of my nightmares. Maybe I’m remembering things that happened to other poor innocent young women. Part of me can’t believe how close I was to that same fate when Talbot first found me.

  Darcy continues to explain, “As long as he keeps us separated, we will not reminisce. It has only been very recently that things are starting to come back to me again myself, because of you. I was quite lucky to have found you.” He smiles at me.

  “This seems insane to be happening to an eighteen-year-old girl in the twenty-first century.” I continue to struggle with the idea. “I just don’t understand, why me?”

  “Why not you?” he asks. “The soul has to exist within someone with the right potential. The battle of good versus evil exists just as much today as it did hundreds or thousands of years ago.”

  I stop short. “Well, yes. I guess that’s true.”

  “It is a great responsibility to receive the knowledge. You have to have the proper potential and be carefully introduced to it. The normal human brain is set up to deny this form of knowledge that should not exist in a person’s present life. If I were to try to throw this information at you all at once, you would automatically reject it. The reminiscence helps ease us into it. I struggled with it myself, to a considerable extent when we… well before.” He looks at me and grabs my hand smiling, “Eleanor understood it better and accepted it more easily. Because she did that, she remembered things faster. She helped me. I will do whatever I can to help you too.”

  “Thank you, Darcy,” I say with a shy smile.

  As the day progresses, my memory opens up more readily. It’s as if I’ve stretched my subconscious, warmed it up and it’s ready to go. Because he is a trigger for me, the more I connect with Darcy, the more easily the memories flow.

  As we go over the day Darcy met Eleanor in the chocolate mill, I start to see it in my mind more easily.

  “I just drove by the mills yesterday. The buildings look like they’ve been updated now,” I say. “What if the book was discovered during a renovation and lost?”

  “Do you think she may have buried it?” he asks.

  “I don’t see how else she would have thought it would be safe,” I say, concentrating to remember.

  As soon as I say the words, a vision suddenly takes hold in my mind of a small wooden trunk-like steamer case that had been lined with leather and securely locked. Next to the case is a hole that had clearly been dug for it. As quickly as the image flashes in my head, it disappears.

  “I saw it! It’s in a case, and a hole was dug,” I exclaim. I concentrate on the details of the vision. The scene was in the shadows, but seemed to have been inside.

  I develop a headache from the forced concentration.

  “Even if we can determine it is under one of the buildings, the foundation will have been reinforced by concrete at this point. We will need to dig from the outside, and we will need to know where to start,” Darcy says.

  “It could take months to get a permit for something like that,” I say, discouraged.

  “Michael will think of something. There is no rush,” he says.

  “Darcy, there is a rush. I can’t stay down here forever. It’s already Wednesday. I have my life, and family to get back to, and I want them to be safe. I’ll eventually have to go back to school and work. The sooner we find the Statera, the sooner we can break your curse, and we can all get back to our normal lives.”

  He looks pained by my words, but quickly masks it.

  “As much as you might be in a hurry to get back to your normal life, I do not think you quite understand the task ahead of us. It is not just finding the Statera and breaking the curse. We still have to figure out how to find a way to destroy the evil. This is a life-altering mission. I hate to tell you that I do not think you will be returning to a normal life any time soon.”

  I pause for a moment as Darcy’s words sink in. Will I have to give up my education, my job, and my family and hide away for the rest of my life while we fight this battle?

  I realize for perhaps the first time that even if we do find the book, there’s still a very big, very unknown task ahead of us. There are only two possible outcomes to this mission – we will either have to defeat the evil, or die trying.

  “What are we going to do Darcy? I have to make some adjustments to my life, so that I can continue living it while fighting this battle.”

  Misunderstanding me, Darcy’s temper flares with the
darkening of his face. “I do not wish to keep you from living your life by keeping you here with me in the dark.” Darcy gets up and stalks out of the room without a word, as if all of a sudden, the light from the screens is too much for him.

  Chapter 22

  I’m left alone with the sound of the peaceful flowing river clashing with battle of thoughts now raging in my mind. I get up slowly and turn off all of the projectors.

  What just happened?

  Any progress we made today seems to have just been lost. I close up the room and walk back to Uncle Mike’s office to find him sitting at his desk.

  “Put him in a good mood, I see?” he says with a sarcastic lift of his brow.

  I sit down.

  “It actually went pretty good… at first.” I say, still confused about where things went wrong. Trying not to overthink the situation, I change the subject and ask, “Did you make any progress on the old mills?”

  “A bit. The buildings have been renovated into apartments. There is only one building on the same side of the river as Gabriel’s property. So, I think it’s most likely the best place to start, since you were on that side of the river in the memory.”

  I nod my head in agreement.

  “The problem is, the building literally sits right on the river, so there is no way to dig under from the outside. Our best chance is to find a way into the basement and cut through the foundation, which causes a bit of a problem.”

  “We would have to sneak in?” I ask.

  “We would, and during the day too,” he replies.

  “Any ideas?” I ask.

  “A few that involve a bit of deception, but I’m working out the details. Have you been able to narrow down an area to dig?” he asks.

  “Not yet,” I say, hanging my head.

  “Not to worry,” Uncle Mike says, “we have plenty of time. The progress we have made in the past few weeks is more than I ever could have imagined in my lifetime!” he says, voice lifting up in excitement.

  “Uncle Mike, everything has changed now, hasn’t it?” I ask, my cheerless voice contrasting with his mood.