Just Another Girl

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Just Another Girl Page 12

by Melody Carlson


  “I guess. But what happened with that other, what did you call him—bloke?”

  “Yeah. A bloke. He was on the soccer team, but really lousy. He had absolutely no skills, but he was the coach’s nephew. I was captain of the team, and we were pretty good, and I couldn’t see why the coach even played this bloke. What I didn’t realize was that Jamie was . . . well, you know, mentally challenged. Oh, he could read and write a bit, but he wasn’t in a normal school. Anyway, one time he blew it bad, and I called him some names, like ‘stupid,’ ‘idiot,’ ‘retard’ . . . I can’t even remember. We all did it. But it totally crushed him. He ran off and quit the team. I felt bad about it then, but seeing how patient you are with Lily . . . well, I went home and wrote a letter to Jamie and sent it via the coach, apologizing for my meanness.” George shrugs. “I don’t know if it made him feel any better, but I know I needed to do it.”

  “Good for you.”

  He sighs sadly. “It’s hard to undo ‘stupid.’ ”

  “And now you’re making me feel guilty,” I say.

  “Why’s that?”

  I reach into my bag and pull out my phone, turning it on to see that, as I suspected, Mom has called a couple of times. Of course, Owen hasn’t called once. “Because I let Lily down tonight,” I confess.

  “Do you want to go home now?”

  “Yes.”

  As he drives me home, I get worried about Lily. Really, what if she did something really crazy? “It’s so confusing,” I admit.

  “What?”

  “How to deal with Lily. I mean, I’ve read some books and gone to classes, but the things I learned seemed more like the things a parent should do.”

  “So you’re kind of like Lily’s mother?”

  “That’s how it feels.”

  “Well, that seems like a pretty heavy load for someone your age, Aster.”

  “Yeah. But as caught as I am in this thing, Lily’s caught even more.”

  “Like I said, I don’t really have answers, but I believe that God does.”

  “I just wish he’d talk a little louder,” I say.

  George chuckles. “Yeah, don’t we all.”

  “It’s the next street,” I tell him. And then we’re there. “Thanks so much for, well, everything.”

  “Glad to be of service. And if there’s anything I can do to help out, feel free to call me.” He grabs his notebook, which is next to what looks like a much-used Bible, then tears out a piece of paper and scribbles down a phone number. “I mean it. Call me if I can help. God doesn’t expect us to go it alone.”

  “Thanks.” I take the paper. “I appreciate it.” After I’m out of the funky old car and going into the house, I wish I’d thought to give him my number.

  The lights are on in the house, but it appears that everyone has gone to bed. It also appears to have been a difficult evening for Mom and Lily. The house is a total mess. I can tell that Lily must’ve had a horrible tantrum, because things are thrown all over the place.

  Suddenly I’m worried. What if something horrible happened? What if Mom or Lily totally lost it and—

  I race to Lily’s bedroom, but she isn’t there. And it is a mess, as if she threw a fit. Then I bolt to the other end of the house to find that Mom is in bed and sleeping soundly. Now I’m freaked. Where is Lily?

  I look in the bedroom I share with Rose. No Lily. In fact, Rose hasn’t come home either. Not that that’s so unusual.

  I go to the bathroom, but the door seems to be stuck, and then I realize Lily’s body is blocking it. I lean my shoulder into the door and give it a shove until it’s open enough for me to slip in. Lily doesn’t even move. She’s curled up in front of the door in the fetal position. I get down on my knees and peer into her pale face. My heart is pounding so hard, I can hear thumping in my ears. I get close enough to see if she’s breathing, then sigh in relief. Thank God, she is just fine! Then, just to make sure she’s really okay, I run my fingers through her messy hair, checking her head for any lumps or bumps. She might’ve fallen and knocked herself out. But she seems to be in one piece. Then she makes her familiar grunting snore, and I can tell that she’s simply asleep.

  Still, I can only imagine why she’s barricaded herself in the bathroom like this. I notice she’s clutching a screwdriver in her hand. Was she planning to use it as a weapon, or was she trying to fix something? Her face is dirty and streaked with tears. Her hands are dirty too. She has on pajama bottoms, but still the same shirt that she wore today. Then I notice that her favorite pair of Capri pants, the ones she sometimes refuses to surrender to the laundry, are in the bathtub. That means she must’ve wet herself, because that’s where I always used to put her pants so I could rinse them out before putting them in the washer. Poor Lily. She hasn’t wet herself for quite some time. She must’ve been really upset.

  Naturally, this makes me mad at Mom. Why can’t she handle Lily? Did she make a mess of everything tonight on purpose— just to show me? Because I know I’ll be stuck cleaning everything up tomorrow. And, although Mom doesn’t usually go to work on Sundays, I’ll bet she plans to go in tomorrow. Just to teach me a lesson. She wants to remind me that I cannot control her—that she is Mom and I am not.

  “Wake up,” I say to Lily, giving her a gentle shove. But she’s a hard sleeper. Especially after a stressful episode. Sometimes it seems like she’s in a coma. I wet a washcloth, put a little soap on it, and wash her face, which doesn’t disturb her in the least. I pry the screwdriver from her hand, then wash her hands. Still, she’s not moving. So I go to her bedroom, retrieve her Little Mermaid quilt, and drape it over her.

  “Sleep well, Princess Lily,” I say as I turn out the light.

  15

  “Aster? Aster? Aster!” Once again I wake to Lily’s face just inches from mine. “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

  “I’m awake,” I mumble as I sit up.

  “Where’s Rose?”

  I glance over to Rose’s bed, unmade as usual. It also looks unslept in. I’m pretty sure those are the same things I tossed on it when I cleaned my side of the room yesterday. “I don’t know, Lily.”

  “I slept in the bathtub, Aster.”

  “No, you slept on the floor, Lily. I saw you.”

  She nods. “Yeah. I slept on the floor.” Then she looks at me with her pale green eyes. “Mom’s mean.”

  “Were you naughty?”

  She pauses to think. “I was mad.”

  I almost say, “Because I went somewhere without you,” but then decide that’s a can of worms I don’t need to open. Better to start fresh today, and Lily actually seems in pretty good spirits. “Is Mom up yet?”

  “Mom’s gone.”

  “To work?”

  “I dunno.”

  Great. Mom has taken off without even talking to me. She must be really ticked. Well, that’s her problem. And her troubles are not over yet. Although I think I’m going to have to be careful. It’s unfair to make Lily suffer too much.

  I’m just brushing my teeth when Lily comes rushing into the bathroom. “Someone at the door, Aster!” She says this as if it’s life-and-death urgent, as if it’s a criminal come to pillage and plunder.

  “I’ll get it,” I tell her. “You brush your teeth!”

  Of course she doesn’t do as I say. Instead she follows me to see who’s at the door. Suddenly I’m worried it might be Owen. What if he’s come to say he’s sorry? What will I do? Will I crumble and forgive him? But to my relief and total surprise, it’s Crystal.

  “I tried to call your cell, but it must be off,” she says.

  “What’s up?” I open the door wider to let her in.

  “No! No! No!” Lily screams when she sees that it’s Crystal. Then she grabs my arm in a vice grip and tells Crystal to go away.

  “Don’t have a cow, Lily, I didn’t come to babysit you.” Crystal rolls her eyes. “I just came by to see if you guys need a ride to church.”

  “Church?” Lily says. “Yes. Let’s go to church, As
ter.”

  “With Crystal?” I give Lily a shocked expression. “I thought you didn’t like her.”

  Lily’s eyes narrow as she thinks about this. “I like Crystal with you and me, Aster. Not only Crystal.”

  I nod as if this makes sense. “So can you get cleaned up and ready in time, Lily? Because we don’t want to make Crystal late.”

  “I came early.” Crystal glances at Lily as if she’s the reason. But she knows that everything takes more time with Lily. I wish I could ask Crystal to help Lily get dressed so that I can take a shower, but that would be pushing it.

  Finally Lily and I are both ready to go. I’ve given her a banana and granola bar to eat for breakfast on the road, and Crystal has warned her not to make a mess in the backseat.

  “I’ll clean it if she does,” I say quickly. I’m actually relieved that Crystal came to get us. I want to stay on her good side. “I appreciate you picking us up for church. We couldn’t have gone otherwise.”

  “Your mom working today?”

  “Mom mean!” Lily shouts with a full mouth.

  “Last night Mom and Lily had a repeat of Friday night.”

  “Where were you?” Crystal asks. “I mean, I know you weren’t at youth group.”

  “Aster went with Owen!” Lily spurts out. I can tell she just remembered this. “Aster left me home with Mom. She mean too!”

  “You went out with Owen again?” Crystal’s brows lift. “This is getting serious.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure it’s the last time I’ll go out with him.”

  “Good!” Lily shouts. “Owen bad, bad, bad boy.”

  I can’t help but laugh. Sometimes I wonder if Lily has some kind of special ESP when it comes to my life, because a lot of times she is spot-on in her own weird way.

  “Was Owen a bad boy?” Crystal asks.

  “Sort of . . . Later, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  The first car I notice in the church parking lot is George’s bomb. It looks even worse in daylight. It’s kind of a burgundy color with lots of rust spots. It has several dents and one of those roofs that’s vinyl or something and peeling badly. George is just getting out as Crystal parks.

  “Morning, ladies,” George says as we get out.

  “Hey, George,” I say in a friendly tone that makes Lily peer curiously at him. I use a napkin to wipe banana bits and crumbs off her face and blouse.

  “Who’s George?” she asks, although she’s staring right at him.

  “I am,” George says.

  “Oh.” Lily nods, then steps back shyly.

  “George gave me a ride home last night,” I say to Crystal as the four of us walk toward the church together.

  She looks confused.

  “Later,” I say quietly as we go inside. “Sounds like worship has already started.”

  We all go into the sanctuary, and an usher leads us to a nearly empty row. George sits with us, but only after I make sure that Lily is next to me and not by him. She made it clear to everyone within shouting distance that she was “not going to sit by a boy!”

  For that reason Crystal is sitting next to George now, and I find myself inexplicably jealous. Like he’s my guy and she better keep her hands off. Okay, I know that’s ridiculous. George is just a friend.

  After church, Lily sneaks away from me. By the time I find her, she has planted herself in front of the coffee hour table, stuffing as many Oreos into her mouth as it will hold.

  “Lily,” I scold. “Leave some cookies for the others.” Then I take her by the hand and lead her away. Fortunately, she doesn’t make a scene. Well, other than the normal thing, like smiling at people with teeth that are now muddy brown from the cookies.

  “I need to get home,” Crystal announces when I rejoin her and George. “It’s my grandparents’ golden anniversary today, and my mom is doing a thing at our house.”

  “That’s all right,” I tell her. “I’m ready to go.”

  “Or if you want to stick around longer,” George says, “I can give you girls a ride.”

  Lily steps up to George, as if to examine him and see if he’s worthy to drive us home. “You tall,” she says suddenly.

  He bends down so that he’s more her height. “Now I’m not.”

  She actually laughs. “You funny.”

  “You’re funny too.”

  “We can ride with George,” she tells me with Lily-like authority.

  “Great,” Crystal says. “Then I’ll take off.”

  I’m relieved to see Crystal go. That way I don’t have to tell her about what happened with Owen yet. I’m not ready to hear her say, “I told you so.” Lily and George and I hang around until the crowd thins out. I’m not that excited to go home since I know I’ll have to clean up last night’s mess. Although I’m not sure why I assume that’s my responsibility. After all, I did not make that mess. Although I’m aware that if I’d stayed home, that mess probably wouldn’t have happened.

  “I guess we should go,” I finally admit to George. “Before Lily sneaks any more cookies.” She’s already made it to the cookie table two more times. I worry that she has an addiction to sweets. I’ve tried to break her, but it’s like she has an inner Cookie Monster that demands something full of sugar and carbs. I wonder if I should talk to her doctor about it. What if she’s getting diabetes?

  “Are you worried about something?” George asks as we walk through the parking lot.

  I shrug. “Not really. Just the same old, same old.”

  “Here we are,” George says. He opens the passenger door and one of the back doors of his car.

  Lily stands there staring at the vehicle like it’s a three-headed dragon. “That George’s car?” she asks.

  “Yes. And it runs just fine. I rode in it last night.”

  “I not going in that,” she announces, crossing her arms across her chest to show she means it.

  “Fine,” I say. “I am.” I get in the front seat.

  “Aster!” I hear the warning in her voice and know this can go either way.

  “Do you want to walk home, Lily?”

  “Yeah!”

  “By yourself?”

  “No! You walk too, Aster.”

  “No. My feet don’t want to walk.”

  “What wrong with your feet?”

  “They’re tired. They stayed up too late last night.”

  Lily is still standing there, giving me her stubborn look.

  “Do you like books, Lily?” George asks suddenly.

  “Yeah.” She looks suspiciously at him.

  “I have a really great book that you can look at if you get in the car.”

  “What book?”

  “I’ll get it.” Then he opens the trunk and returns with what looks like a manga book. He holds it up for her to see. “It has lots of pictures.”

  “Let me see.” She reaches for the paperback, but he pulls it back, then tosses it into the backseat.

  “There you go.”

  And just like that Lily gets in, he closes the door, and we are on our way. I thank George for his quick thinking, and he repays me by inquiring about Owen. “Did he call and apologize or anything?”

  “No,” I say quietly. The truth is I haven’t turned my phone on since last night. But I don’t want to do it now. I’m not sure how I’d react if Owen had called. Anyway, it’s something I’d rather deal with in private.

  “Well, if you ask me—and I know you didn’t, but I’ll tell you anyway—even though I never met him, I think Owen is a fool.”

  “Owen is a fool!” Lily parrots from the backseat.

  I ignore her. “You don’t go to our high school, do you, George?” I’m thinking if George goes to Jackson High, he probably would know who Owen is.

  “No, I went to Davis, but I already graduated.”

  “Last year?”

  “Actually, it was the year before.”

  “Aren’t you kind of old for youth group?” Now I’m wondering what I�
��m doing with this old dude. He could be nearly twenty.

  “Pastor Geoff invited me to stick around.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, for one thing, I’m not that old. I’ll be eighteen in August.”

  “But you’ve been out of high school for a year?”

  “I graduated early.”

  “Oh.” So he’s an academic. I should’ve guessed. “Did you do college this year?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where?”

  “Branford.”

  Okay, George is either smart or rich. And I’m leaning toward smart. “Do you like it?”

  “Yeah. It’s a great school.”

  “The guidance counselor at my school invited me to hear a representative from Branford next week.”

  “Cool. Are you going?”

  “No.”

  “No? Why not?”

  “Because there’s no way I can afford a school like that.”

  “Then why would your guidance counselor send you an invite?”

  “Who knows? I think she’s just trying to be nice.”

  “Branford has some fantastic scholarship packages. I’m on a partial scholarship.”

  “Because you’re a brainiac?”

  “Brainiac? I haven’t heard that one.” He automatically turns down the street to my house. I guess he was paying attention last night.

  “But is that how you got a scholarship?”

  “That and soccer and because my mom went there.”

  “You got a soccer scholarship?”

  “I wanna play soccer,” Lily yells from the backseat.

  “No, we’re not playing soccer, Lily,” I say.

  “Why?”

  “Because we’re going home.”

  “But I wanna play soccer.”

  George chuckles as he turns into our driveway. “You got your work cut out for you, Aster.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know.” I get out of the car now and practically have to drag Lily from the backseat. She’s going on about how she wants to play soccer.

  “Do you want to come in the house with me?” I let go of her hand. “Or would you rather spend the day with George?” I wink at him.

  But Lily actually seems to consider this, and now I’m worried she might pick George. Then what do I do?

 

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