by Mark Hayden
I nodded.
‘Cousin Bertie from Malvern came, and she’s had guests.’
There was a truly malicious glint in Saffron’s eye. Her cousin from the Malvern Hills is something of a shadowy figure. I’ve met her, but she gave nothing away.
‘Go on,’ I said. ‘Do tell.’
‘Bertie had the Earthmaster and Kenver Mowbray staying over while they did some work on the Ley lines. I was supposed to stay with them.’
I could see why my friend, Chris Kelly, would base himself with Bertie Hawkins: she may be shady, but she’s part of the Salomon’s House magickal aristocracy. She probably has a major junction of Ley lines on her land, and the youngest of the Mowbray siblings is working with the Earthmaster to sharpen his talents. He has the makings of a powerful Geomancer, like his late father, but we didn’t see him at his best in Cornwall.
‘Why did they want you there?’ I asked.
‘Mum thinks it’s about time there was a marriage alliance between the Hawkins and the Mowbrays.’
‘You!’
‘Shh. This goes no further, right?’
‘Erm, no.’
‘There’s no chance, of course. Kenver’s only a baby, really, but I had to show willing and asked Bertie a few questions. It’s not just Kenver Mowbray and Chris Kelly who stayed. There was also Chris Kelly’s kids. And a nanny, but no Mrs Kelly. And then I found out that you and Mina had been to the Kellys’ house.’
We had been to Earth House. For dinner, and later Tamsin Kelly had helped Mina with the business of our engagement. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘So…?’
‘What’s she like? The bodysnatcher! And why isn’t she with her children?’
I gave Saffron the deadeye stare I reserve for junior officers who’ve overstepped the mark. She has a huge mane of white blonde hair and she started to go red at the roots. She had the sense to keep her mouth shut. I do like her, but she can be more impulsive than Scout. Tamsin Kelly is … well, shall we just say that she wasn’t born Tamsin.
‘If you want to know what Tammy’s like, ask Mina. She’s her friend,’ I said. ‘The Kellys are spending some time apart while Tammy takes advanced studies. If tonight’s party is a success, I’m sure they’ll come to the next one.’
‘Sorry. I didn’t know.’
‘Come on, it’s time for breakfast.’
Mina had been exiled to the end of the table furthest from the Aga. She gave her ToDo lists one last glance and put them safely out of the way just as Hannah appeared.
The Boss is notoriously a city girl, and has been overheard saying that Hampstead Heath is way too rural for her. Now that she’d been forced deep into the countryside, and would be attending a strange Synagogue, she’d tried to blend in by donning a long sleeved, midi-length floral dress. With black boots. Well, it was definitely modest. She’d also added a Glamour – nothing extreme, just the illusion of shoulder length brown hair instead of her headscarf or her enormous explosive red wig (from which the gods preserve us).
‘What do you think?’ she said, pointing to the hair. ‘It’s not as if anyone’s going to touch it.’
‘It really suits you,’ said Mina. ‘Have a go with a fringe before you go out.’
Breakfast was a slightly more civilised affair than normal at Elvenham. Having the Boss there will do that. At the end, Mina handed out lists, starting with Erin.
‘Now that Rachael and Alain are coming, we will have to re-do the place settings. Can you start with that?’
Hannah looked up. ‘You wrote the invitations, didn’t you, Erin?’
Erin is an Enscriber, part artist, part calligrapher and most definitely a Mage. ‘Yes.’ She looked worried.
Hannah smiled. ‘And as I said last night, everyone praised your work on the Wessex documents. I’m not being picked up for an hour, and I’d really like to see your studio. If you can spare the time.’
Erin was definitely worried now. Vicky and Saffron both looked at me with their eyebrows raised. What on earth is the Boss up to?
‘Of course. My pleasure,’ said Erin. ‘You know it’s in the stables, right? For now anyway. If that horse doesn’t move out soon, I’ll have to.’
‘Conrad showed me Evenstar yesterday. I can understand your point.’
Erin led the Boss out of the back door, and Vicky spoke first. ‘She’s up to summat. I have no idea what, but she’s definitely up to something.’
Mina tapped her lists against the table. ‘I don’t care what the Constable is up to. Today is all about the party.’
‘Yes, Rani,’ said Vicky.
That’s Mina’s nickname: Rani. It means Princess. A lot of people think it’s insulting and that it’s used against her because she has ideas above her station. The truth is a lot more nuanced than that.
Mina is from a long line of the Indian version of the aristocracy. Her family are Anavil Brahmins, and while Mina has rejected most of what they stand for, she still likes being one. Most people can’t understand that when she plays the lady of the manor, she is being both totally ironic and deadly serious at the same time. I am a long way from truly understanding Hindu culture, but I get that bit.
‘Just so we know where everyone will be, here are the starting tasks…’
This wasn’t just a party, this was going to be a charity Bollywood extravaganza. Tonight, the enormous marquee will be filled with 120 people, mostly from the village and all dressed in Indian clothing. You can supply your own, or you can rent/buy it from a pair of social entrepreneurs who call themselves GoSareeGo and who import the outfits direct from women’s co-operatives in poor areas of India, ensuring they get paid a fair price for their work.
Catering is by a firm from Birmingham (mostly Bengalis, much to Mina’s disappointment), who will be setting up in a tent annexe at the back of the marquee. The main event (Bollywood dancing) will be led by a lovely couple from Leeds, Rahul and Priya, who are doing it at cost on condition they can film the whole thing to promote their business.
As I told Saffron, the bar is being run by Mike from the Inkwell, our village pub, and there are a couple of other bits, but I’ll come to them later. My first job was clean up after breakfast, by which time the van with the furniture should have arrived. That’s my second job.
If you’ve ever looked into hiring a marquee, especially with a wooden floor, lighting and tables, you’ll know the cost runs into thousands. I’m paying for that. Why? It’s a good cause. But you know me, so you know that’s only part of the truth.
The party is also a sort of engagement present to Mina, as well as being a useful strategic move in village and magickal politics.
Oh, and I do like a good party. Who doesn’t?
More of the gang turned up during the afternoon, driven up from London by the Royal Occulter, Li Cheng. His passengers were Vicky’s BFF Desirée Haynes, and the most junior member of the King’s Watch, Xavier Metcalfe. Desi and Xavi, I was expecting, but Cheng wasn’t on the original guest list.
His last visit had been rather traumatic for him, and had involved him summoning both my 11xGreat Grandfather and a snake woman from my well. He brought his own outfit, a beautiful silk … thing.
Because of Mina, I know my kurtis from my salwars, but traditional Chinese dress is an unknown territory. Cheng is both rich and talented: his social world is way above mine, so what was he doing here? I put the same question to Saffron as we watched the Go Saree Go partners bring their rails of vivid fabrics into the house and through to the dining room.
‘As soon as Li Cheng heard who was coming, he jumped at it,’ said Saffron. She gave me the sideways look she reserves for moments of insubordination. ‘You don’t realise just how A List this is, in magickal terms, do you? You’ve got the Constable, the Dean of the Invisible College, the Keeper of the Library and two Mowbrays.’
‘Cador has no magick.’
‘But his sister does, and so do his uncle and his little brother, all of whom respect him greatly.’
I gave her a satisf
ied smile. ‘My plan worked, then.’
That stopped her. She looked around as if expecting to find a strategy board pinned to the wall. ‘What plan?’
‘To put Elvenham on the map. Magickally speaking.’
I might as well have told her I was planning to invade Russia. ‘What on earth for?’
‘Call it the lighthouse strategy.’
She waited for me to explain. When I didn’t, she threw her arms in the air. ‘You’re worse than my mother some days. Sir.’
And if you’re waiting for me to explain, then sorry. If it all goes wrong, I can deny it and pretend I meant something else.
After a light lunch, the first of the guests started arriving to visit GoSareeGo. Mina was there to assist and the rest of us started to mingle because, for the moment, everything was in hand. This was going far too well, so naturally my sister returned at that moment, along with the Mowbrays, the Boss and Alain.
Rachael checked to see who was listening and said, ‘I hear that Eseld is going to do some magick on the house, and I want to watch. The illusions and stuff are all very well, but I want to see the real thing.’
Eseld heard her name mentioned and walked over. She was being very patient with Rachael, something I’m still trying to master after a lifetime’s practice. ‘Sorry, Raitch,’ she said, ‘but unless you’ve got the Sight, there’s not a lot to see in Warding.’
‘Even so,’ said Rachael.
I really did feel sorry for her. There are ways for the mundane to experience magick directly, usually with the help of the gods, and without that help, today’s Work wouldn’t be much of a spectator sport. She’d find out soon enough.
Eseld was doing an upgrade to the Wards on Elvenham House. Saffron was right – there were going to be a lot of big Mages here tonight. We needed security to go with it. Unfortunately, it also needed a power supply, and to do the job properly, it needed a Ley line from the well. That was a job for another day. For now, it was going to run on the magickal equivalent of batteries. Big batteries, yes, but still finite.
I left them to it and went to seek out Erin. ‘What on earth was the Boss up to this morning?’
Erin looked guilty. To be exact, she looked as if she were about to be guilty. Sort of premonition-guilt. ‘Ooh. Yes. Well. She hasn’t worked much with Enscribers before.’ Erin is a terrible liar. It’s one of the things about her I like.
‘Hannah hasn’t had much experience at dairy farming either, but she hasn’t asked to milk any cows.’
Erin shuffled her feet and looked around to see if anyone was going to help her out. Was it worth pushing it? Probably not.
‘If she asked to speak to you in confidence, Erin, that’s fine.’
She breathed out in a whoosh. ‘Yeah, she did, but I have no idea what she was on about. Have you got your outfit yet?’
‘You should know Mina by now. What do you think?’
‘I think she’s chosen it for you and you just have to try it on.’
‘Correct. What’s up now?’
Scout had hared off round the front of the house, barking. It was Rahul and Priya’s van. Right on time. I went to give them a hand, and then paused to check my phone. It was a message from the Keeper of the Queen’s Esoteric Library, Francesca Somerton:
Running Late. Sorry. Will bring our own outfits and see you around seven thirty.
At least they were on their way.
Mina and I had a few minutes to ourselves at six o’clock. She came into our room and stood there, her eyes almost rotating in their sockets. I went over and took her in my arms and stroked the top of her back for a few seconds until she started to relax. A little.
‘Only you can do that, Conrad,’ she murmured into my chest. ‘Mmmm. Don’t stop.’
‘Never.’
She sighed. ‘I couldn’t have done what I did today without you.’
‘I didn’t do very much. You did everything. You and the girls.’
‘You were there. You were the great big lighthouse guiding everyone and keeping ships off the rocks.’ She pushed back a little and grinned. ‘Guess who said that?’
‘I have absolutely no idea who would come up with a thing like that.’
‘It’s what Sofía thinks you said to Saffron. I think it lost something in translation, and I gather that there was a lot going on that I missed.’
‘You were with Hannah for a long time. How did it go?’
Mina hesitated. To get Hannah to stay here and not run back to London, I’d promised a personal fitting by Mina. I’d also promised that the secrets of the dressing room were sacrosanct. ‘Is she happy?’
‘Happy enough. I think you may be in for a shock. Did Rachael behave herself?’
‘She did. She followed Eseld round like she used to follow the plumber, asking questions. I think Eseld was both irritated and flattered in equal measure. And we now have better Wards on the house.’
‘Good.’
‘Oh, I hope you don’t mind, but I paid for Alain’s outfit. Poor bloke looked stricken when he saw the price list. And I’ve put him on our tab at the bar. He won’t abuse it.’
She nodded thoughtfully. ‘It’s the least we can do for getting him Entangled. Right, out you go. You’re in charge until seven. And remember: the front doors stay firmly locked until then. Got it?’
Between six and seven, there was going to be a shutdown while the girls were in the dining room getting ready. Nothing wrong with that – it’s just that it left me, Cheng, Xavi and Scout in charge; Ben was coming later with Carole and their parents. We assembled in the hall and looked each other up and down.
‘Daring,’ said Cheng to Xavi.
Being young and as yet unscarred physically or mentally, Xavi had opted for loose cotton trousers, no shirt and just the half-waistcoat (i.e. it didn’t fasten at the front). ‘Go and supervise in the marquee,’ I said. ‘If you stand outside, you’ll get hypothermia.’
‘No problem,’ he said. ‘What do I do, sir?’
‘Help Rahul and Priya set up the sound system and video link.’
‘Sir.’
Cheng smiled. ‘Is there anything I can help with, Conrad?’
I pulled my lip. ‘Does that offer extend to magick?’
He looked surprised. ‘If there’s anything I can do?’
‘Follow me.’
I ducked around to the cosier parts of the house and opened a cupboard that had been designed to be ‘secret’ in that it blended into the panelling. Inside was a five foot tall Victorian safe. This part of the house had been built around it. Scout had never seen it in his short life, and gave it an enthusiastic sniff. When the dust made him sneeze, he backed off and barked at it
Cheng smiled again. ‘What’s the problem? Have you lost the key? It does look rather old.’
‘There were two keys made, and I have one. There’s a small chance that the other one has fallen into the wrong hands. Could you hide it in some way? Just for tonight?’
He bowed. ‘Of course. I take it there’s something valuable in there?’
It was my turn to smile. ‘Thanks, Cheng. We’re going outside.’
‘We?’
‘Me and Scout. C’mon, boy.’
‘Arff.’
I arrived outside at the same time as our paid helpers. Elvenham is less than five minutes’ walk from the centre of Clerkswell, and most would arrive on foot, given the fine evening. We were also expecting some taxis and a few cars carrying those from distant lands (or “outside the village” as we say), and we needed marshals. We’d have offered a valet service if the helpers hadn’t both been sixteen and too young to drive. Or serve at the bar.
Ross Miller and Emily Ventress are young fast bowlers who starred in Clerkswell’s successes this summer. Myfanwy has been trying to match-make on the basis that they clearly have so much in common, and that’s one of the reasons I love having her around: her blind faith in the face of reality.
If it weren’t for the fact that Ross is very shy and
reserved, and that Emily is way too serious (and goes to a private school), I’m sure they’d be perfect for each other. And if you think I’m being a snob about Emily’s background, I’m not. Until they start driving and going to dodgy parties, they might as well live on different planets.
‘You look smart, Mr Clarke,’ said Emily. ‘Mum and Dad are really looking forward to tonight.’
Ross’s mother is a single parent. She won’t be coming. He nodded to me and asked what their duties were.
I looked at Emily. ‘Do you remember Dr Somerton, who came to the match in the summer?’
‘The librarian? The one who got a warning for shouting abuse at the umpire?’
Ross smirked. Emily looked quite shocked at the memory. In her world, older ladies do not hurl four letter words at the cricket pitch. That’s the trouble with Mages in the mundane world: they don’t think the rules apply to them. Sometimes it’s funny, and sometimes the King’s Watch has to intervene.
‘That’s the one. She won’t be driving, but her car can stay and everyone else’s parks on Elvenham Lane. It’s wide enough between here and the church, and we’re not expecting that many. If you could offer a bit of firm guidance and direction, that would be great. Otherwise, just open people’s doors, help out and smile. Your job should be done by eight o’clock. Oh, and when the caterers arrive, which is any minute now, they’re allowed right up to the back of the marquee.’
‘Right. Got it.’
‘And you’ve both got my mobile number in case of emergency?’
They nodded, and I left them to it. I summoned Scout and walked the long way round to the marquee, taking the chance for a cigarette on the way. There were ten tables of twelve set out ready for guests, with minimal decoration so that they could be whisked out after the meal to clear the room for dancing. At the back of the marquee was an add-on tent for the caterers and a gazebo for the audio-visual system.
I stuck my head in the marquee as the big screen lit up with a classic dance number. After a few seconds, the speakers boomed into life. Xavi gave me a thumbs up and we retreated outside.
A van emblazoned with pictures of Indian food bumped over the grass and pulled up next to the tent. Two Bengalis jumped out of the front and sprang into action. A younger, European lad climbed stiffly from the middle seat and looked around him. The adults wore polo shirts with the company’s logo, while the lad had one from a Birmingham FE college. An apprentice, presumably. In seconds, the doors of the van were open and catering equipment was being carried inside.