by Mark Hayden
‘Yeah, well, it’s not in the job description, is it?’ said Evie.
‘I’m sure we’ll sort something out,’ I said diplomatically. Mina was smirking. Actually smirking.
Evie sat down and said, ‘How are you feeling now?’
‘Much better, thanks. When your life’s in the balance, the good part is that you’re too ill to notice.’
She shook her head. ‘I still can’t believe that Piers set you up like that.’ She addressed the remark to her mother, with a glare.
‘We don’t know what Piers was thinking,’ said Saskia, who looked at Mina. ‘I can’t believe that it was deliberate. Or negligent. I don’t think we’ve had the full story yet.’
‘What’s the food like in the pub?’ I said before Mina could respond. The women took the hint and we reached the end of the meal in peace and harmony.
‘I’m going out tonight,’ said Saskia. ‘If you’re recovered, Conrad, can I take you and show you the Wards? You need to know what they mean.’
I looked at Mina, who nodded. I grabbed my coat and followed Saskia outside. I turned right, towards the drive, but Saskia said, ‘This way. It’s a shortcut to the Lodge. Much quicker.’
On the way to the edge of the Haven property, I asked her about Evie. ‘Did she go to the Invisible College?’
Saskia shook her head. ‘You guessed, didn’t you? She has very little magick, barely enough to get in and out and sense the Wards. She took the housekeeper job as a fill-in while she worked out what to do. Five years later, she’s still trying. She’s starting a part-time MA in creative writing at the end of next week, subject to your approval. If you think she resents your presence, that’ll be why. She thought she’d never have a real Deputy to look after.’
I filed that away for later, because we’d arrived at a wrought iron gate set into a wall. This wasn’t just a barrier, it was the hinge to the entire system of perimeter Wards, or so Saskia told me. ‘How does it work?’ I said. ‘I’m sure that the Boss has told you how incompetent I am when it comes to complex magick. Or even basic magick.’
‘You’ve survived Nimue, Conrad. I doubt the gates will be a problem.’
‘I survived Nimue because I’m a survivor. This is different. I’m closer in magickal talent to Evie than I am to you, let alone Vicky or the Boss.’
‘That’s refreshingly honest of you. For a man.’ When I didn’t rise to the bait, she turned into the professional that Mina had described so well. ‘All the Wards run in a circle round the edge of the property. There are eight altogether, two Distraction, two Discouragement and one Disorientation, plus the Alarms.’
These are pretty standard on Mage properties. Or so I’ve been told. They are the Wards that stop mundane people knocking on your door or getting suspicious. They didn’t require any input from me, unlike the Alarm Wards.
‘I’ll approach without my token,’ said Saskia. ‘Despite twenty years, I’m no more bonded to Middlebarrow Haven than your dog is. I’ll go out, go away and then come back in a few minutes without it. You should try doing something requiring a lot of concentration, then you’ll find out what the first and second Alarms are like.’
‘Fine. I’ll go back to the stables.’
We parted and I went to seek out Scout’s bolthole in the coal shed. Mina was right, he’d found himself a lovely little niche on the other side of the wall to the boiler. I could feel the heat radiating from the aluminium flue, and someone had given him a pile of tatty old blankets to shred. I felt around under the rags and found my weapons: the two guns and the Gnomish sword. Both the hiding place and the sheer cunning behind it is one of the many reasons I love Mina so much.
To any Mage looking for them, the enchanted gun and sword are easy to find when they’ve been “hidden” by a mundane person. Of course, no one but me can use either item without killing themselves, but that’s not the point. Mina can use my mundane SIG pistol, and her threat to kneecap Piers Wetherill was a real one. By hiding them in Scout’s den, she was throwing down a gauntlet and ensuring that any thief would leave a trail. Simply putting them in a cupboard would not have had the same effect.
DING!
What the fuck? A great bell sounded in my head. From the depths of my childhood, a TV voice said, ‘There’s someone at the door.’
‘I know that,’ I announced to the shed, then turned and walked back towards the Lodge gate.
CLANG CLANG CLANG
I staggered for a second as my eyes started to water from the pressure of the Lux being discharged. These Alarms were designed for someone with a more robust magickal constitution than me. Saskia found me leaning against an oak tree and smoking.
‘Are you okay, Conrad?’
‘You said that they were the first and second alarms. In Odin’s name, please tell me the third is quieter.’
‘I’m afraid not. The good news is that it’s never gone off.’
I gave her a look. ‘What do they mean?’
‘The first alarm is a serious attempt to breach the Wards using mundane means. It would have told Evie that Mina was trying to get in if Evie hadn’t been out shopping. We get about two or three of those a year, mostly from scientists who’ve come to look at the SSSI. They go away in the end.’
‘And the second alarm?’
‘An attempted breach with magick. As you’ll know, there are more than enough Mages with criminal intent to make Middlebarrow Haven a target. Luckily most of the Mages and Creatures of Light in the North know better. I didn’t try very hard, but if you really push it, the house pushes back. The effects can be life-changing.’
I stubbed out my cigarette. ‘You know what I love most about the world of magick? The almost total lack of regard for health and safety. What does the third alarm mean?’
‘That the Wards have been breached. If that were to happen, I think you’d feel it wherever you were in Britain.’
‘Right. Can you turn them down?’
‘Me? Goodness, no. Sir Roland Quinn made those Wards, decades ago.’
I rubbed my chin. ‘If Eseld Mowbray is in the area, I might get her to have a look at them. She likes a challenge.’
Saskia gave me a strange look. ‘If that’s all?’
‘Thank you. I’m going for a lie down.’
The upstairs of Middlebarrow Haven included the Deputy’s Suite. It was in need of a makeover, but with an emperor sized four poster bed, a sitting room, a bathroom and a dressing room, the excess chintz was worth putting up with. Mina was waiting for me, and the first thing we did was lock Scout in the sitting room before testing out the bed.
I don’t know what Evie did with her evening. When we went down to get something to eat, she’d left a note saying Lots of meals in the freezer. Enjoy. See you tomorrow. E. X.
‘Evie and I agreed to cook together tomorrow,’ said Mina while I rummaged in the ancient chest freezer. ‘Karina’s coming, so we’ll do a late Sunday Lunch.’
Karina. I’d been trying not to think about having a new partner. I found a small stash of Mina’s favourite supermarket curry and decided that Karina could wait until tomorrow. ‘Is there a Deputy’s wine cellar?’ I said.
‘Yes. It was empty, but Saskia left a mixed crate as a welcome present.’ She gave me a grin. ‘There is a hospitality budget, would you believe.’
I looked around the kitchen. ‘I could get attached to this place. So long as you were here.’
9 — Fresh Starts
After breakfast, I pottered around the Deputy’s study. It was clear that Piers had been using it as his office and that Evie had designs on it as well: one section of the shelves held bright new paperback textbooks with titles like Creativity: Theory, History, Practice. I silently wished her luck and made a note to offer her a room-share.
Evie (or Piers) had also equipped the room with a shiny new printer and the Haven was well served by Wi-Fi. When I’d been given the tour yesterday, Saskia had pointed to a secure metal cupboard and said, ‘The incoming Deputy usually re-
sets the binary locks. Hannah implied that might be a challenge for you.’
Before I could reply, she’d moved on, and until I could get someone I trusted to adapt them, I might as well use Scout’s dog basket as secure storage.
‘You’d look after my secrets, wouldn’t you?’
He’d sniffed the room and curled up on the rug in front of the cold fireplace. He opened one eye when he heard me talking to him, then went back to sleep. I was still trying to decide what to do when Mina wandered in and looked hungrily at the leather-topped desk. She was carrying her laptop and three lever arch files.
‘Are you working in here today?’ she said in that tone which expects the answer “no”.
‘Your need is greater than mine. I’ll use the park as an office and give Scout some exercise.’
‘Don’t overdo it, Conrad. You only came out of hospital yesterday.’
I grabbed a 1:25000 OS map and loaded up with hat, gloves and a flask of coffee. The day was overcast and gloomy, with a thin wind blowing; the sort of bleurgh day that can easily put you off the English countryside. Not me and Scout. We are hardy creatures. Up to a point.
We set off along the public footpath that passes Nimue’s altar, and Scout gave the woods a wide berth. After that, we wandered across fields and along roads in a sort of expanding spiral away from the Haven. If this was going to be my home base for a year, I wanted to know everything about it.
I’d reached as far as the Chester-Manchester railway line when Hannah called me. We have to respect her Shabbos; the respect is not mutual when it comes to Sundays. She asked me how I was doing and what had happened magickally since I’d been discharged from hospital.
When I’d finished telling her, she said, ‘Can you handle DCI Morton on your own.’
‘I wasn’t aware he needed handling. What’s up with Karina?’
‘Two things. First of all, her Sorcery isn’t what it needs to be. She’s got the potential, but shall we say that the educational philosophy of the Foresters is rather more laissez faire than the Invisible College.’
You can’t become a Fellow of Salomon’s House without passing certain modules at the College; the curriculum at the Circles is more relaxed.
‘That’s … concerning, ma’am.’
‘What you’re trying to say is that she’s no use, and you’re right. I had to call in a favour from Cora.’
‘Aah. How is the Dean?’
‘Grim. She’s been at work all week, and my spies tell me that she’s not said a word about why she’s withdrawn from the election. When we spoke on Thursday, I avoided the subject. And then she jumped at the chance to give Karina some one-to-one tuition. I think she wanted to get out of the house. They’re closeted together in one of Cora’s holiday places in Norfolk over the weekend.’
‘You spoke to Cora on Thursday?’
‘Yes. I didn’t want to bother you with it while you were in hospital. The other reason Karina’s delayed is that she thought she was going to go round with her Badge of Office on a set of bows and arrows. And I thought you were an awkward sod, Conrad.’
‘I do my best, ma’am. I’ve seen her bow, and it’s pretty fearsome, but you’re right: not practical in downtown Manchester. Or anywhere really. What’s she doing instead?’
‘The usual. A dagger. Hledjolf will finish it tomorrow, so I’ll swear her in on Tuesday. Expect her with you on Wednesday.’
‘What are you not telling me?
She sighed. ‘I don’t want to pre-judge her, but I do wonder why you suggested that she join the Watch.’
‘Because she’s brave, resourceful and has a strong sense of right and wrong. Pretty much nailed it, really.’
‘You’d think. We also need good communication skills, and the clams I ate on Friday were easier to open.’
‘Oma Bridget did say that she was very shy.’
‘And the rest. I’ll email the basics from her file to you.’
‘Thanks. How was Friday night dinner?’
‘Ha ha. I’m sure that one of you lot sent that video to Moshe’s nephew. Awkward doesn’t even come close, and I have to babysit my nieces every night this week as a punishment.’
‘I give you my word it wasn’t me, and you love it really. Ma’am.’
‘And that’s the only reason you’re not on a Unicorn hunt in the Outer Hebrides.’
‘You know who my money’s on? Francesca. Who else knows your family well enough?’
‘You think the Keeper of the Queen’s Esoteric Library would do that?’
‘The more I get to know her, the more I think that having her brother as Warden was a great inhibitor. Now Roly’s gone, the real Francesca is coming out.’
‘Another thing to worry about that I don’t need. Keep me posted and have a nice day.’
Scout and I worked our way back to Great Barrow and went to check out the White Horse. In response to the inevitable question (‘Are you just visiting?’), I gave the reply that Saskia had told me was acceptable.
‘We’re staying at Evie’s place.’
‘Oh. Nice.’
Evie and her mother are both very much part of the village, and Saskia is perfectly visible in Middlebarrow Lodge. The village think that Evie’s place is a modern house on the main road, and they do indeed own it. They also let it out as an AirBnB. How Evie will find time to run that, and the Haven and study creative writing is a mystery. Mina said, ‘That is because you are a man. Women have to get on with these things.’
So that’s me told.
The beer was excellent, the food looked good, and the welcome was more than friendly. I finished my pint outside, checked my watch and unhooked Scout from the fixed ring set into the pub wall. ‘It’s time for us men to go home and see whether the womenfolk have got our dinners ready.’
Scout wagged his tail, and I took that as a sign of agreement. You could call it a male/tail bonding exercise.
We returned along the main road and ducked into the Lodge grounds so that I could take the shortcut to the Haven. When we got to the path at the side, Saskia was emerging from her back door. And so was Benji. Before his mistress could stop him, a springer spaniel shot out of the cottage and through the gate. He bounced up and barked at Scout. Big mistake.
Scout hasn’t met many other dogs since he stopped being a Familiar; ever since then he’s been submissive when the newcomer asserted dominance. Not this time. He jumped at Benji and snapped at him, barely missing the spaniel’s shoulder. Benji ran back and hid behind Saskia.
‘Heel, Scout.’
He barked at Benji and came back to me. I reached down and gave him a scratch, and Saskia frowned at me. She shooed Benji back into the Lodge and locked the door, then zipped up her anorak and smiled. Professionally.
‘How are you feeling today?’
‘Much better for a long walk, thank you.’
We set off for the Haven, and I remembered something. ‘Karina’s not coming today. Perhaps Thursday.’
‘Fine. Excuse me, I’m going to check on something before I join you inside.’
She went round to the side of the Haven, and I grabbed a towel to give Scout’s paws a good wipe. I let him off the lead and ruffled his neck fur. ‘How does it feel to be top dog in Middlebarrow, eh?’
‘Arff.’
‘Thought so.’
Sunday dinner was a very civilised affair. We all got to know each other a bit better, and I include Evie and her mother in that equation. Saskia didn’t appreciate quite how keen her daughter was to do this MA, and was taken aback by her gratitude when I told her that the Deputy’s Study was hers at any time I wasn’t actually in the building.
‘It’s only a room,’ said Saskia. ‘You’ve got a spare bedroom in your flat, Evie.’
‘But it’s a Room of One’s Own,’ I said. ‘Up to a point, of course. My mother insisted on having one, even though she wasn’t allowed to take work home.’
‘Thank you, Conrad,’ said Evie. ‘Piers said I couldn’t use it at a
ll if there was a Deputy in residence.’
‘And we’ve sorted out a rota for cooking,’ added Mina smoothly. ‘Conrad will be cooking tomorrow, and he’ll do the shopping, too, because he has to go to Dale Barracks.’
‘What for?’
‘Kit,’ I said. ‘You’ll notice that Mina has scheduled my turn on the rota for the day she leaves. She’s tasted my cooking.’
And so the day wound down, and the evening, and in the morning I kissed her goodbye at dawn. She was driving back to Clerkswell, then taking the train to London. I didn’t know when I’d see her again, a state of affairs that we’d both have to get used to.
‘Are you sure about this?’ said Saskia when we reached the railway station on Tuesday morning. ‘I don’t mind taking you into town if you’re not well enough to drive. A day’s shopping in Manchester would be wonderful.’
‘That’s very generous. I might end up anywhere, so you needn’t bother. I’ll save it for another time, thanks.’
‘On your own head be it,’ she said with a smile. I should have realised she was being serious.
The name of the station was Mouldsworth. Not the most promising of beginnings. Who calls a village that? There are a lot of minimalist stations around, with nothing but a strip of concrete platform and a bus shelter. This one at least had all the original buildings, and I settled down to worry about my upcoming meeting with Tom Morton and Elaine Fraser while walking around to allow Scout to have a good sniff. He doesn’t like sitting still on cold stone. Who would?
After a few seconds, I gave up and focused on Mina and tried sending her my love telepathically. In the near future she will have to be cross-examined in the Cloister Court by the magickal world’s finest and most expensive lawyers. As if that weren’t enough, her snooping around in Cambridge had started to turn up a whole treasure trove of Artefacts which will have to be included in the pot. She is going to be eating, sleeping and breathing the Flint Hoard for weeks and probably months.
The tinny Tannoy announced the 09:14 to Manchester Piccadilly, and my jaw dropped when I saw the state of the boneshaker that rattled into the station. ‘What’s that?’ I said to Scout.