What she did know was that his look had hurt her more deeply than she cared to admit.
Chase, on the other hand, was thoroughly pissed with himself, knowing he’d possibly put his future on the line. He knew better than to get involved with Julia. But he was also furious with himself because he knew he’d hurt her and that was the last thing he’d meant to do.
So each of them dealt with their feelings the only way they knew how.
Julia wore her sweats all weekend, staying in bed, eating Chips Ahoys and watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model. She pouted off and on, scolding herself for being such a wimp over something that had ended before it’d even started. She talked on the phone to Claire and Lily, whining to them about what had happened, asking them over and over what they thought. When nothing got resolved, she resorted to pouting some more, cursing men and vowing never to let herself be hurt again. The humongous bout of PMS she had going hadn’t helped her situation either, only making her that much grumpier. Yay for hormones.
Chase spent his time either studying or working out on his and his roommate’s hodgepodge of weight lifting equipment. With each thrust of the bar when he benched pressed, he cursed himself for being such an ass. He just wanted things to go back the way they’d been before he’d kissed Julia. Then again he also wanted to explore this new development with her. Damn it. He was screwed either way.
He’d talked to his roommate Brock Wilse about what had happened, hoping to get an answer to what he should do. Brock was pre-med, they’d met freshman year when Brock had applied at CEP and they’d worked some jobs together. They’d become roommates the next year. But Brock was a typical horny guy only telling him to “tap that shit before it gets away” and move on with his life. Chase could only imagine what Brock’s bedside manner was going to be like.
****
Lily came over Sunday afternoon to check on Julia. When she walked into Julia’s room, she let out a low whistle. “Damn, girl. Did a thousand apes go through here ransacking things or are you just redecorating?”
“Eat shit,” Julia muttered. She sat in the recliner with the foot rest out, a half-empty container of the blue-packaged cookies on her lap.
“Wow. You’re seriously letting this get to you. I had no idea you liked this guy that much.”
“I don’t. I mean, I do, but I don’t have a right to. I don’t even know him. I mean, I’ve known him for two years but I don’t really ‘know him, know him,’ you know?”
“Sure,” Lily replied, giggling.
“Look, I like the guy. But he kissed me then looked at me like he’d just screwed a camel. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Ugh! This is going to be so awkward tomorrow when he picks me up! Damn it!” She put her face in her hands, shaking her head, then looked up at Lily as she got an idea. “Maybe I can convince Allen that I don’t need a bodyguard anymore. Maybe you and I can get that apartment we’ve always wanted. What do you think?”
Lily chuckled. “Jules, that apartment we’ve always wanted isn’t in the picture right now. Neither of us can afford it. If we did move in together, we could only get a crappy place on our salaries. I think it’s best for right now that we stay put.”
Unfortunately, Lily’s parents were just like Allen, thinking she needed to earn her way even though they were loaded and it would have been nothing to put her up in a nice apartment. Julia had never felt so trapped in all her life. Something had to give, and it’d better be sooner than later or she was going to snap and it wouldn’t be pretty.
****
“Dude. How many sets are you gonna do today? Every time I turn around you’re either benching, squatting or curling. What gives?” Brock asked as he walked around the weight bench Chase was lying on, snatching up a couple dumbbells off the rack and doing some flies.
“I don’t know. Damn it. I don’t know what to do.”
“You really got it bad for this chick, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do. Well, I mean, I like her. But I don’t want to lose my job because of it. And that sounds really shitty, but I need the job, man.”
“I wish I had an answer for you, Murph. Maybe you should just bang her and move on.”
“Goddamn it, Brock. Is that your answer for everything? To fuck her? You think that’s going to solve everything?”
“Well, it might not. But at least you’ll feel good in the meantime.”
Chase shook his head. Brock had to be the crudest asshole he’d ever known. Chase still felt just as confused as he had the minute he’d driven away from Julia’s apartment building.
****
Monday morning Julia was a wreck. She didn’t want to face Chase. She’d talked to Allen after Lily had left about her taking a cab to work or even getting her own car, but he’d had nothing to do with it.
“By God, as long as you’re under this roof, you’ll abide by my rules, and that’s final,” he’d told her. “I don’t want anyone trying to get my mon-, er, my daughter.”
She’d rolled her eyes. Allen and his precious money.
After much contemplation, playing out different scenarios, Julia decided that she’d act like nothing had happened when she saw Chase. Just be herself. Then after a bit, things would go back to normal, with her trying to talk to him and him ignoring her again. Yeah, that was a good plan. She hoped she could carry it through.
Meanwhile, Chase had made up his mind that he needed to talk to Julia, explaining to her his circumstances. He’d tell her he needed this job, that without it, he’d have to drop out of law school and he couldn’t jeopardize his future that way. He hoped she’d understand.
“Good morning,” Julia said with a smile to Chase as she got into the car.
He was surprised she’d taken the initiative to talk to him. “’Morning,” he replied.
They rode in silence for a bit then both talked at the same time.
“About the other night,” Julia began.
“Look, Julia, I wanted to talk to you,” Chase started.
They both chuckled. Julia told him to go ahead.
He was so nervous he didn’t know where to start. He took a deep breath. “Look, Julia, I really need this job, I don’t know if you’ll understand, but the money—“
She stopped him right there. “It’s okay, Chase. Don’t worry about it. I get it.” And she did. She’d watched every day of her life as money took precedence over everything including her. So this situation was nothing new.
Chase broke his cardinal rule yet again and looked in the rearview mirror at her, but, ironically, she wouldn’t look back. As a matter of fact, it was almost as if she’d lost a little of her dazzle, her alacrity had diminished and that made him feel like a real ass. Why’d things have to be so damned complicated?
****
He's probably loving it now… now that I'm not talking to him anymore. He doesn't have to dodge my questions. I just want to flick the back of his stupid head…
She probably thinks I'm an ass now and doesn't want to talk to me...
Yeah, look at Mr. Drivey Driverton up there all smug and crap like he's all happy. Like nothing happened...
I wish I'd done things differently. Not reacted to our kiss like a jerk. Damn. Why'd I have to kiss her? This is so uncomfortable. But the kiss was so hot. She felt so good… smelled so good… that body of hers… that firm, round ass…
Why'd he even kiss me? It's not like he's ugly or anything. He probably has women hanging off him all the time. I mean, he's so hot. He could have anyone. So why me? But, damn, he can kiss… and his body was so muscular… rock hard…
She just looked so hot last Friday. Dancing all flirty… making eye contact. God, I really wanted her. I thought there might've been something there… but now I don't know… but, damn, I'd had a freaking boner for an hour after that… thank God Brock was gone when I got home and the shower was free…
And he was watching me dance and that was so sexy. It was like there was something there… or at least I thought t
here was… but God, he'd gotten me so hot… thank God Johnny (as in Depp, what she'd named her vibrator) was there for me when I got home…
Wait, did I put that last load of laundry in the dryer?
Did I turn off my hair straightener?
Hm. Great. Mildewed clothes.
Crap. I probably burned down the apartment.
But why's she so pissed now. It's not like a kiss is a crime or anything…
Look at him all innocent like he’s done nothing wrong… dickhead…
"Thank you."
"Anytime."
Look at her going into work like I'm nothing to her… spoiled princess…
Chase dropped Julia off at her office building. She was ready for another day of balancing sales and expense reports while he had to get to class. He had a test in his Constitutional Law class that he knew would be harder than hell.
As far as their daily routine, nothing had changed for either of them.
But the car ride situation? Something different altogether. Yes, for the unaware observer, things would have seemed business as usual between them for the past week with Chase picking Julia up for work, dropping her off, picking her up for home, and dropping her off. But they both knew better. Nothing had been said about what had happened between them. Therefore, an ever-present big, fat freakin' elephant sat right in the passenger seat, looking back and forth between them, daring either of them to address the taboo topic, which could, in effect, tranquilize the tension. Maybe.
****
“Welcome to Car Ride Hell! Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Come be humiliated and miserable for ninety excruciating minutes each day!”
Julia chuckled as she imagined a carnival barker screaming out these words as she got into the car to be taken home that evening. These daily treks with Chase had become about as much fun as having an Olsen twin be your personal stylist. Ick.
There was some good news that went with this circumstance, though—she didn’t have to work at getting the gorgeous jerk to talk to her anymore. The bad news was she still felt like an ass for asking if Allen was paying his way in school.
In the meantime, Chase found Julia’s silence almost deafening. Damn it. This catch-22 he had going on was really making him crazy. He needed to man up and make a decision—the girl or the job? He didn’t have a clue what to do. And, look at him. Wasn’t he the cocky one thinking she’d just run into his arms if he said the word? That way of thinking and the fact that she wouldn’t even look at him anymore was enough to make him just focus solely on the fucking job. Christ. I’m such an arrogant prick.
But this job was important to him. It not only insured his future, but he enjoyed doing it, was more than qualified in the field and he was proud to work for the family business. Chase’s father was a former Navy SEAL who’d been trained in various disciplines and combat techniques and had made damn good and sure that Chase and his brothers were too. After retiring from the Navy, he’d started CEP and had been very successful with it, even securing jobs over agencies that’d been around a lot longer.
And Chase knew Julia had no idea how serious his job really was. She thought it was just some stupid chauffeur-type position, when actually it was a potentially dangerous one. They’d been lucky that the past two years had gone off without a hitch, but there was always the threat that something could happen. Every agent was licensed to carry a gun, and he knew Julia had no idea that his Glock was in the glove compartment.
So to her he was just some guy who complacently drove her around when in reality he was willing to put his life on the line for her. And wasn’t that a kick in the pants. Oh, and now he had the hots for her. God must really hate him.
****
The next couple weeks were the same. Julia would greet Chase in the morning and evening and thank him when she was dropped off. It'd almost gotten back to the way things had been for the past two years but for the fact that Julia never tried small talk anymore.
And Chase kept feeling worse and worse about how things had been left between the two of them.
On the Thursday of the fourth week of their vocal standoff, he made up his mind that he’d initiate a conversation with her on the way to her apartment after she got off work, apologizing to her for his being such a jerk. If that went well, he'd even planned on asking her out for a drink because he'd decided to just say "Screw it" to the whole job situation. His dad would fire him, no doubt, but he could find another job, although that wasn’t a guarantee, and if he did secure one, it probably would be nowhere near as financially secure as this one and the schedule would mess with his classes and studying time. Risky much? Damn.
He was nervous and excited on his way to get her that evening. He hoped she'd forgive his stupidity and give him another chance. He wanted her to be happy around him again, hear her infectious laughter, see her radiant smile. He even realized he'd do almost anything to hear one of her smartass comments once more and he had to chuckle.
His mood had lifted so much and he could hardly wait to see her. He stood outside the car waiting for her to come out of her office building so he could talk to her. She'd texted earlier saying she'd be down at 5:30. He glanced at his watch seeing that it was about that time. Suddenly, he heard that fantastic laughter of hers. He couldn't help but smile.
But when he looked up, his smile faded. Julia was coming out of the building, her arm hooked through some guy's and they were both cracking up. What the hell? They stopped walking for a second and she leaned into him whispering something to which they both threw their heads back and laughed. Um, okay.
A few feet from the car, Julia pointed something out on the guy's tie, and when he looked down, she hooked her finger up flicking it to his nose. She guffawed big time at him when he gave her a dirty look, but then he joined in laughing along with her.
Chase stood in shock. Well, this was just perfect. What great timing he had.
"Call me later, okay?" she told Funny Dude then kissed him on the mouth, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "I love you," she said as they released their embrace.
"I will, baby girl. I love you too," Hilarious Guy said before he nodded at Chase and walked away, a huge grin on his face.
Julia sighed, watching him leave then turned to get in the car, almost running smack dab into Chase as he held her door open. Upon seeing the scowling expression he wore, her smile abruptly left her face and she got in the car with nary a word.
Damn straight you'd better wipe that fucking smile off your face, he thought, cursing under his breath as he slammed her door shut. Here he'd been ready to put himself out there, and all along she'd had a boyfriend. Wasn't that how things always went?
He got in the car, pulling into traffic to take her home. He thought he'd felt bad before. This? This pissed him off all to hell and he clenched his jaw to keep any and all rude things from escaping his mouth.
And wasn't this just mighty friggin’ fine. He decided right then and there that he was finished with Ms. Julia Cooke.
Chapter 3
After Julia had said good-bye to Jacob, Chase had gone and gotten all someone pissed in my Post Toasties on her, which left her totally confused. He’d pretty much shot her the laser stare of death when she’d walked up.
“Who gave him an atomic wedgie?” she mumbled to herself after he’d slammed her door and walked around to the driver’s side. Bastard.
He got inside the car and zipped out into traffic like a lunatic. Helloooo. He was supposed to be guarding her body not trying to turn it into road kill. Extreme driving in New York City was definitely not a good idea.
Chase was furious. This right here was the reason he didn't want to get involved with anyone. Sure, he went on the occasional date but he always knew it wouldn't turn into anything serious because he wouldn't let it. But this had been a leap for him. He'd been willing to put it all on the line for Julia. So not only was he willing to risk his life, he'd been willing to risk his heart for her. And she'd burned him. He was so finished w
ith her it wasn't even funny.
Bad thing about his being angry when behind the wheel was the offensive driver in him came out, and it became all hold on to your goddamned hats because he was coming through. And, by God, this car was like a fucking tank and people had better haul ass to get out of his way.
Deciding that she’d rather be blindsided and unaware than actually be alert to Chase’s driving—she envisioned another car ramming into them, where she’d be thrown from the car in a fiery wreck of tangled fiberglass and metal which meant, of course, her bloody crushed-under-thousands-of-pounds-of-automobile-where-she-bled-internally-for-an-hour-before-someone-tried-helping-her-but-to-no-avail death—Julia texted Jacob to distract herself. Hell, it was that or get down on her friggin’ knees and pray. But she’d given up on serious prayer long ago after her mother had died. Besides, she knew Chase wouldn’t do anything stupid. She hoped.
So text Jacob it was. She’d been so shocked that he was back in town. He’d come to her office surprising her and they’d decided to go out the next night.
--So what’s up my long lost lovah?
--Heading to Binghamton since you won’t let me spend the night w/ you
--Oh, go buy a hooker… I hear they’re cheap up that way too
--Cheap? Don’t be calling my mother cheap!
Julia barked out a laugh at this and felt the car jerk hard to the left before Chase corrected it. What the hell? He’d better keep his eye on the road or she was going to have to share her thoughts with him and they weren’t going to be all warm and fuzzy.
Chase’s mood now took a huge nosedive. She could sit back there laughing, probably texting Hyena Boy, yet he had to keep himself together. Real fair. She’d distracted him so much with her sudden laugh, he’d almost run into a car to his left. All right, damn it. Enough of this emotional roller coaster bullshit. He had to get focused. Get her to her apartment then get his ass home, drink a beer then study.
Being Chased Page 3