Withholding Secrets

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Withholding Secrets Page 18

by Diana Fisher


  “Do you know what happened tonight?” My heart jumped hard, taking the rest of the air in my lungs with it. “Just go in and go to bed—”

  “Keri.” Kane cleared his throat as his chest brushed against my back, making damn sure I didn’t just let this incident slide. But being mad and talking to Jordan would only make matters worse right now. I was bound to say something I would deeply regret and never be able to take back. “You need to talk to him.”

  “Fine.” The tears had come so fast and so hot, I couldn’t believe it. I was angry and hurt, scared, worried—feelings that I never had all together before. My body was ready to run a marathon, but at the same time, every muscle in my body wanted to reject me, run away screaming. Jordan’s eyes were so painfully hurt that it had made my stomach want to crawl out of my body any way it could. “Why did you sneak out like that? Why did you not come and talk to me?” I pressed the palms of my hands against my eyes to stop the burning tears. “Do you not realize what you did? Do you not realize how…?” Dropping my hands, I shook my head, feeling the anger taking more control and the fear subsiding into hiding. “Do you not realize what you did to her? She is your sister! She thought you abandoned her! She thought you ran out on us!”

  “I’m sorry, Keri—” His voice cracked, his mouth hung open, but I robbed him of making any more comments.

  “Do you … do you not… You ran out on us! Do you not realize how worried sick I was? How… God. I can’t do this.” Throwing my hands up in the air, I stepped around Kane, wanting to just run away. Being in that situation and not knowing where Jordan was … I balled my fists, but the only person I wanted to hit was myself for thinking I could do this alone. I couldn’t. I couldn’t raise these two with no help. I had no idea what to do, how to care for them properly, or how to keep them safe. The harder I tried, the more I was being reminded that I was not my mother and I had no right having any children. “You need to go.”

  “Keri, please. Don’t. Please don’t send me away. I am sorry. I am so sorry!” The cries poured from him as he stepped onto the hard wooden dance floor. The begging intensified as he tried to follow me, but the hands of hurt were holding him back.

  “I am done tonight, Jordan. You just need to go in and go to bed. It’s been a long night already.” Dealing with this right now was only urging my stomach to search harder for an escape. To think that he was out in the city in the middle of the night with an intruder coming into our home … What if I didn’t hear anything and we were in that house alone? What if I woke up to the person in my room and I had no way of getting Sky out of there? What if that person wasn’t Joe, and what if they took Sky right out of her own bed and I wasn’t there to stop it or to protect her?

  “Keri! Please! I need you! I need you.” His voice trailed off.

  Shoving Kane to the side, I turned on my heels and started toward him, feeling the brush of Kane’s hand grazing my arm. “We were out there and I had no idea what to do, Jordan! I needed to keep her safe, and I had no idea where you were, if you were hurt, if you would come back and go in the house with that intruder! Do you understand that there are people who want me to screw up so you both get taken away from me?”

  “Keri…” Kane’s deep voice rumbled through me as his hands pressed down on my shoulders.

  “Do you know that Sky was thinking that you ran out on us also?” My throat burned and the tears exploded from my face. “Jordan! I was so flipping scared! God, Jordan!” Reaching out, I grabbed hold of him, pulling him tight to me. “Don’t you ever, ever do that to us again! Don’t you ever leave our house without telling me. You do…” I pulled him back enough to see the tears dripping from his eyes. “If you ever do this again, you better pray to God that the police find you before I do. Do you understand me? Do you have any idea what I had gone through, waiting and waiting, sitting here like a worthless person while not knowing where you were? Do you not realize that if someone hurt you, I would hunt them down and kill them with my bare hands? You are my son now, Jordan! My son, and I need you. Sky needs you. We need you.”

  The tears burst from him as he wrapped his arms around me, crying into my shoulder. “I am so sorry, Keri. I am. I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted to protect you like you do us. I am so sorry. I heard someone say something about my dad and I went to look for him. I did so that I could protect you. I am so sorry. Please…”

  “You let me take care of him. That’s my job, Jordan. My job. I will take care of him myself.” Rubbing his back, my stomach settled back down, accepting the apologies, knowing he was truly sorry for the midnight sneak-out.

  “He took all of our money, Keri. He took it all.” He gasped a little, trying to capture his breath, and his body shook under my hold. “I know that he did.”

  “I will take care of it, Jordan. Nobody messes with my kids.” I kissed his cheek and rubbed his back again, trying to assure him that I was in control of his whole situation. “Go in and get some sleep. I’m glad Kane got to you before you went into the house.”

  “Yeah. He scared the crap out of me. He laid into me, too.” Brushing his tears away, his chin trembled a little as he searched my eyes for the truth. “Are you sending me away?”

  “I am sending you to get your ass in bed like I told you to. Get some sleep. You are stuck me with, and don’t you ever think I will be giving you to someone else while I am still alive. Go to bed before I take you down and whip your ass.” Pointing to the dark hall, I watched the fear turn into a smile that he’s wanted all his life. Fifteen years and the kid has never had someone who threatened to kick his butt for doing wrong, for scaring the hell out of them, for wanting him and doing anything to keep him loved and safe. Once he headed down the hall, I released the hold on my breath, finally feeling the triumph exploding inside of me.

  Turning to the man behind me, I looked up, seeing those emeralds full of life, dancing inside of him. “I screwed up, didn’t I?”

  “I think that you were perfect.” Shrugging, he brushed his fingers against my cheek, sending the heat directly through me and straight between my legs. His eyes softened as the corners of his lips curved slightly. “I wanted him to see the effect of what he did; what he put you through.”

  “Kane, thank you so much…” My breath hitched as he leaned closer to me, his scent enclosing in on me, and the tingling sensation filling through my body wiping away the frosty chill the night brought on. I just wanted to wrap myself in his arms and stay there until I could feel the ground under my feet again.

  “There is one person here that still needs to shower. Go, Keri. Go invade my shower, also.” Instead of holding me in his arms, he scratched the back of his head and went to the bar again, to the money bag that he had taken out of the safe under the counter. “The kids are fine. I’ll be up for a while yet.”

  Nodding, I went through the dark hall, seeing Jordan lying on the couch with his hands covering his face. Getting close to him, my heart kicked up some speed, needing to know everything that the kid heard. “Was it your dad?”

  He nodded as his eyes shifted over to me, packing full of the waters again. “Yeah. I know that it was him.”

  “Not a word, Jordan. To anyone. I will take care of him.” Patting his shoulder, I shoved a smile to my face, trying to assure him that I could handle this. And I could. I just needed to figure out how to take Joe down and make him pay for all the hell he brought onto these kids. “I’m glad that you are okay. By the way, I’m still upset that you ran out in the middle of the night.”

  Leaving Jordan on the couch with the realization to sink in, I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower, excited to actually get a hot, massaging shower for once.

  What the hell did Kane mean that I would invade his shower, too? Were we wrecking his place that much? Tomorrow morning, I would have to take the kids and stay away from him. I couldn’t risk having him really hate us. Not for as much as he’d been jumping right in and helping.

  **********

  Nurs
ing the drink I poured a while back, I looked back at the dark hall. Seeing her in the packed club, wearing practically nothing, surprised the hell out of me. There she was, everything exposed, while the girl having every inch of her covered. Keri was the kind of woman who I never met before. The way that she was with those kids just made everything worse. If it wasn’t the fact she threw some different colors at me when expressing her feelings, it was the way she acted with those kids that invaded my every thought, every minute of my days, and every second of my nights.

  Now, she was in there, in my shower, naked, and dripping wet. How could I sleep now? There hadn’t been a woman in there for such a long time; since the day Keri stormed into my life. Now, it was filled with Keri, Jordan, and Skylar. And I wanted nothing to do with a woman that was attached like that, especially that young with two teens. Yet there she was, something that I wanted so fiercely that I was beginning to lose control.

  I stayed away for a reason, and that damn reason came in with that tank top plastered to her bare chest and those black simple bikini panties, and all I wanted to do was grab hold of her, strip that stuff off her, and fulfill my craving of her.

  Lusting after a woman who had been so scared that she did the unthinkable to get her twelve-year-old daughter out of the house because of an intruder. She came to me, practically naked, and she wanted me to watch the girl so that she could find the boy. She wanted to go back to find the boy. And that there was the kind of woman I never met before. One who would risk it all for a kid; a trouble making teen who lost his way through years of abuse and neglect.

  Those kids deserved her. They deserved to have that love and devotion that only she was willing to give them and was giving them. She took on more responsibility than anyone I ever met. There would be no way that I would stand back to see her get them taken away. Whatever it took, I would make sure that she kept them together and with her.

  “Kane?” Keri’s soft voice came through the large room that was filled with couches, tables, and a wooden dance floor right in the front middle of the building.

  “Yeah?” Did I dare lift my eyes to see what she looked like just after taking a shower? I wanted to crawl all over her as it was, but knowing she was using my wash cloth, my soap, my shampoo, and rubbing everything of mine all over her body, the monster inside of me wanted to jump out, gnash my teeth into her so deep, she could never get away while I satisfied this starvation she brought me to.

  “My leg really hurts.” The cries finally broke the silence and the strength that poured all around her and brought everything to a complete standstill. I thought watching her break down once in my office a week ago was bad enough, but this, to see her in this much physical pain, damn near wiped out my knees in the tackle.

  “I have a first aid kit under the bar.” I vacated that stool so fast, there was a trail of fires left in my wake, bringing everything to a complete skidding halt. But looking her over, the controlled ache turned into a full blown starvation from seeing her in a white tee shirt of mine and … a pair of my boxers. I did all I could do to not throw her ass on the floor and ravage her right there on the grime and filth the weekend clubbing brought on.

  Though, I had to patch up her leg before it really did get infected. Scooping my arm behind her knees, I lifted her up and carried her to the bar. Putting her on the top, that tee shirt baring her thighs, my heart was thumping hard in my chest, my jeans were tightening more than they ever had, and the blistering heat was pooling into that exact region, begging for some sort of release; a release that my own shower-time hadn’t been able to take care of.

  “Can you do something to make sure that they don’t come in and see this? I told Sky it was just a scratch, but … it hurts really bad.” She turned showing me the gaping slice from her mid-thigh to just above her knee.

  “Jeez, Keri!” Quickly, I looked over my shoulder, assessing the hall to make sure there weren’t any wandering eyes up and out of the apartment. This was more than just a scratch. “How did you do this?”

  I grabbed a clean bar rag from under the counter and wiped the blood from the bar top. Fresh from the shower, the scab melted away, leaving the slice exposed and fresh. And I could imagine she tried to clean all the dried debris off herself in the shower by scrubbing it as hard as she could.

  “We went off the roof.” She went to touch it, but I caught her wrist just in time. How in the hell could she sit for that long with a gaping slice in her thigh like that? Not to count, she had access to a shower and refused until both kids were together under her care. She was more than a woman; she was a godsend to those two.

  “Hold on.” Jumping up, I hurried back to the hall and went into the apartment. Checking on the kids, I made sure that they both were asleep. Sky was using the king sized bed to her advantage by taking up every single square inch of it, and Jordan was curled into the cushions of the couch. The snoring was a lull, but peaceful for once in his life. Pulling the door behind me closed, I swallowed the little lump in my throat.

  Returning, I pulled up a bar stool and opened the kit. I wasn’t sure that it was enough to fix that kind of damage, but I couldn’t go anywhere tonight. I would have to do what I could, and then tomorrow, I would have to get them some place safe so that I could bandage her up better.

  Grabbing my glass of whisky, I held it up, my eyes meeting her soft grays. She shook her head, not wanting any. Tipping it back, I let the burning liquid go down my throat. Sliding the glass away, I sucked in a deep breath and hovered over the gash.

  “Tell me exactly what happened tonight?” Digging through the kit, I pulled out the cleaning wipes and grit my teeth. This wasn’t going to help at all. I needed a distraction, though. Those legs … damn. They were just so perfect, and I bet that they would wrap tightly around my waist. So nice and smooth, and freshly shaven … with my razor…

  Reaching over the counter, I snatched the bottle of rail whisky and poured a half glass. Tipping it back, I let the sharp teeth of the amber liquid bite at my throat as it went down.

  “I was in my room thinking about things, what we talked about, wondering if I had made the wrong decision. Kane, I just…” Her eyes watered a little. “I just want so much for them and I am not sure I am the one who can give them that.”

  “Really? And this is coming from a woman who practically just went two, three miles with a gash in her thigh just to protect them?” Turning back to the slice, I cupped the back of her thigh, getting the warmth that was pooling from her. It would be so easy to slip my hand up those shorts and take what I needed, to get her begging for me to fulfill her needs while selfishly satisfying my hunger. But I couldn’t. Not yet. I had to tend to her first.

  She pressed her lips tight together as her cheeks darkened when noticing where my hand was. “I thought I heard something, and I ignored it for a few moments. It must have been Jordan sneaking out. So, I went down to his room to check and he wasn’t there. I thought they ran away because I am failing at everything.” She shrugged a little as I patted the antiseptic wipe at the thinner spot of the cut at her knee. Just as she went to move, I squeezed the back of her thigh, holding her still. Bringing my lips closer, I blew softly on it, hearing her hissing and feeling her muscles tightening. “What the hell are you putting on it?”

  “Language, Keri.” I looked up at her, tempted to just kiss her, taste her, to attack those perfectly lined lips of hers. She smelled so good after being washed up with my soap that I just wanted to waste no time in tasting every inch of her body. “Alcohol.”

  “It burns.”

  “It’s dirty, and I imagine for as long as you waited to clean it, probably infected.” Sliding my hand with the cloth up her thigh, I felt the smoothness of her silky skin antagonizing my starvation for her. This wasn’t the time or the place for anything to happen, but it was tempting … too tempting, and I was inches from right where I wanted to be nestled for the night.

  “I forgot about it.” Her hand covered mine, her fingers pressing int
o my flesh, but she resisted the urge to move it. Maybe she was just hanging on, too, as I imagined the sting the alcohol was doing to her right now.

  “How did you forget about a gash in your leg?” The desire swirled in my stomach as her eyes softened and her grip on my hand tightened. Yes; those were her kids no matter if she had them or not. They were lucky, very lucky to have come into her life. And I was trying to escape from her.

  All last week, I stayed far away from her because of this exact situation. I wanted to go up those shorts and feed my own hunger any way that I could, to make her see how sexually frustrated I became since the day she stepped foot in my office, screaming at me.

  “I thought they ran away, but I heard the floor creak upstairs. I went up, and then I heard the front door knob jiggling. I knew that it wasn’t Jordan. I don’t know how, but I knew so I went upstairs and waited. Sky came out wearing her pajamas. She had taken her pants off because she was hot and she didn’t want the window open. I covered her mouth and pulled her to me. I ended up scaring the crap out of her, but I had to keep her quiet.” Her breathing began to pick up as her muscles relaxed under my hold, but the temperature of her body was climbing steadily.

  “She knows that you did it to protect her.” I opened another packet and pulled the cloth out. Folding it in half, I laid it over the larger gash and put my hand on the top of it. Keri jumped and her hand clamped down on the back of my neck as she clenched hard, her body crawling to me for some sort of help, but she knew she needed this. I rubbed the inside of her thigh with my thumb, knowing how much I was hurting her and I needed to sooth that pain, but I had to clean it the best that I could.

  “That really hurts.” She leaned forward, coming close to me as her fingers slipped through my hair. “Kane.” Her voice came out in a heavy breath as her body was leaning more into the massage my thumb was giving her than the pain I was inflicting on her with the cloth.

 

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