Theo laughed. “Your honesty is as usual quite refreshing.”
He called Kelly after Cynthia left the office; he had not wanted to call her when he got in from his morning run since it was too early, he reasoned.
She answered the phone groggily, “Hello.”
“Hey, Mrs. Palmer,” Theo said solemnly, “I heard that you wanted to die last night. How are you this morning?”
“Theo?” Kelly asked in a hoarse voice. “Are you still talking to me?”
“Yes,” Theo said. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because Chris answered the phone last night and because I am the worse person on the planet,” she coughed, “lower than the dirt on your shoe.”
Theo grinned. “I really don’t think you are lower than the dirt on my shoe, Kelly. You are the mother of my children. I consider you a lot higher than that. Chris explained why he was at the house, and told me that you hated him. That made me feel especially good.”
Kelly sneezed. “I am stupid though, threw away my relationship with you and broke up my family.” She sniffled. “I don’t even pray anymore. Why would God listen to me, an adulteress?”
Theo paused. “Kelly, now is the time to pray. God is faithful and just to forgive you of your sins however bad they may seem in your eyes. Lay your burdens at his feet and let him deal with it for you. No wonder you are so down and depressed. Are you sorry for what happened? Genuinely sorry? Not just sorry because I found out.”
“Of course,” Kelly sniffed, “I was very weighed down with my deception, I contemplated confessing to you so many times I could not count. I got cold feet every time. I just wanted things to be normal again. I wished so many times that I could just press undo and wipe my slate clean. I am genuinely sorry, not lip service sorry. Really sorry—running myself crazy sorry.”
“Okay I hear you,” Theo said contemplatively. He could sense her earnestness and it struck a chord within him. “Would you do it again though, have an affair or strike up a relationship with Chris? Have you really gotten over him, Kelly? Has he gotten over you?”
“I am very much over Chris,” Kelly said, clearing her throat. “I think he was my first real crush. I was dizzy when I was around him back in days. Those were young idyllic days. I was suffering from nostalgia when I had that affair with him.”
“Unfinished business,” Theo suggested a shaft of pain, striking him suddenly. “You two never had sex when you were dating, and you just had to try him out, no matter the cost.”
“No it wasn’t like that,” Kelly sneezed, “I was lonely…”
“I am not taking responsibility for your affair,” Theo bit out, “I am lonely now. I am in a foreign country without my family, not because I want to be but because you caused it, would I be justified in having an affair? How would you feel if I had one?”
Kelly was silent.
Theo inhaled. “I am willing to forgive Kelly, but I am a man. We both need to talk to God about the situation. Don’t forget, He listens. He is the only way we are going to get past this.”
Kelly sneezed again. “I am happy that we could talk, and I am more than grateful that you are willing to forgive me.”
Theo was silent for a long while. “I love you, I really do. Refusing to forgive you would hurt me too. I just need time.”
Kelly murmured, “Thank you for that, Theo. I love you too.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Over the next few months Theo worked out a routine. He spoke to Kelly every morning, and they had started praying together again, something they hadn’t done in years. She called their morning sessions her counseling sessions. He went to work and at midday he would call her again. In the evenings he carried the phone on the deck and stared up at the stars and talked to her about everything and nothing.
It was close to April 25th, Matthew's birthday. He hadn’t seen them for four months and he was genuinely missing all three children.
Gradually in his head he had made peace with the fact that Mark was not his biological child, but he was a part of Kelly and that was something he was just going to have to live with if he reconciled with her. And he was going to reconcile with her. He could barely get by without hearing her voice. They were acting as if they were just dating each other; she loved to hear about every little detail about his day, and he couldn’t get enough of her voice whenever she described anything to him.
March turned into April, and he flew to Jamaica for Matthew's birthday. Kelly was the best sight he had seen for months when he saw her at the airport waiting for him. She ran and leapt into his arms. He held her for so long that people were staring at them and smiling.
“You are a sight for sore eyes,” he whispered in her ears.
“You too.” She looked him over. “You look more muscular.”
“Jog and lift weights every morning, and at night so that after talking to you I can fall into bed exhausted.”
“Are you still dodging, Cynthia?” Kelly asked, laughing.
“Of course.” Theo held her hand and they walked to the car together. “She is severely honest about her feelings for me.”
Kelly laughed. “I should show up and shock her.”
Then she stopped and silently looked at him. She had been waiting for him to invite her and the kids to move to Cayman. She even found herself packing little things and thinking of the move, but as yet they hadn’t talked about her living with him again.
She missed him so badly these past few months that she could taste it.
He ignored her statement and got into the car. “I missed driving you,” he said to the car.
She got in and said brightly, “how was your trip?”
“Short,” he said abruptly and then repented silently when he saw the pain on her face.
“I am looking forward to this weekend though,” he said, changing the topic. “I can't believe your mother volunteered to have the party at her place. Has she forgotten about last year when we had it at our house with little five and six year olds swarming the place and yelling at the top of their lungs?”
Kelly laughed. “She volunteered. I could not say no.”
They talked all the way home and he went into the house, a feeling of nostalgia hitting him hard. His family was here. What on earth was he doing alone in Cayman? But a cautious voice told him to tread softly. He was still smarting a bit from the wound that Kelly had dealt him. There was no reason to rush anything. He headed to the spare room and dropped his bag on the bed.
Kelly stood at the doorway; she had followed him up the stairs.
“I cooked your favorite dinner.”
He smiled. “Curried garbanzo beans. I haven’t had that in a while.”
She smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes. She looked at the bag on the bed then at him. She cleared her throat.
“I thought…” she leaned on the door, “I got the impression—I was thinking—Theo, why are you sleeping in the spare room?” she blurted out.
“We are still taking it slow,” Theo said, standing up and kissing her on her nose.
“Okay,” Kelly huffed. “We’ll see about that,” she muttered under her breath.
When Erica dropped off the children, they were so happy to see their father that Kelly had to abandon the conversation with Theo.
Theo exclaimed about how big Mark had gotten and how he was already teething. He had to use sheer willpower to stifle the regret he felt about not being there to see each stage of his early development.
He had a hard time putting the children to bed; Kelly had totally abandoned him to it. He staggered to the spare room after telling them story after story.
He had resorted to reading First and Second Chronicles to get them to feel sleepy and then he had felt a twinge of guilt that he had used the Bible as a sleeping aid.
When he reached the spare room the door was locked, he tried the lock again.
“Kelly,” he whispered to himself, “that imp.”
He headed to the master bedroom and
she was sprawled off in bed with a skimpy silk nightgown barely covering her torso and a half smile playing across her lips.
“Are you looking for this?” She opened her gown slightly and the key was nestled between her breasts.
“Kelly,” Theo swallowed, “we are taking this slow, remember?”
“Sure,” Kelly said, widening her gown further.
Theo approached the bed slowly. “Kelly, a man can only take so much and no more.” He sat on the bed and touched her lips.
Then he kissed her. It was a kiss of promise, and it felt like they were kissing for the very first time.
He deepened the kiss and slowly made love to his wife, to his love.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Theo had left Jamaica that weekend, very sure that he had gotten over the deepest of the wounds that the affair had caused him. There was still a low humming twinge somewhere in his heart, but he was learning to live with it.
He had not said a word to her about moving with him to Cayman, and he could feel her disappointment about that. But the weekend was the happiest he had been in years. There was something about almost losing the most important thing in your life to make you appreciative of what you have, and to him he had almost lost Kelly.
He had Thealyn's birthday to attend in four weeks, and the weeks dragged by interminably. He had told everyone that his family would be joining him in August. He thought that would give Kelly enough time to pack up and make arrangements for the house to be taken care of. He already spoke to the principal of the private school where he wanted the children to be enrolled.
On his second trip to Jamaica, he told Kelly not to pick him up. He had one last thing to do before he could move on fully, with his marriage—he had to face Chris. They had to talk about this.
He decided to rent a car. The drive from Montego Bay into Ocho Rios took him past the Villa Rosa. He was grateful when he saw Chris' car in the driveway and he decided to stop. For a second, his imagination ran wild and he wondered about the things that Chris and Kelly used to do right here in this villa.
It took a minute to calm the nausea that came with the thought. When he had composed himself he drove up to the gates and told the security that he was there to see Chris Donahue. The security called the office and the gates were opened for Theo.
The grounds were extremely beautiful with a profusion of roses greeting him at the front of the villa. The flowers lent a subtle sweetness to the air.
He walked into the reception area. The décor was really tastefully done and he silently applauded Kelly's handy work. Behind the desk Chris opened a door and gestured for him to follow.
He went into the office, which was surprisingly spacious, and sat down in a chair that Chris had pointed to.
They sat facing each other, and there a stare-down ensued. Theo wondered bitterly, how could Chris sit in a meeting with him and fellow elders when he was screwing his wife? How could he have looked him in the eyes and discussed church plans, all the while knowing what a traitor he was being? Didn’t it take a special kind of barefaced sinner to do that? He slammed down that thought firmly; his left eye started to tick.
Chris was the first to look away.
Theo cleared his throat. “I was just passing by, saw your vehicle and impulsively decided to stop. I have not really spoken to you since I found out that you had sex several times with my wife and impregnated her. I was going to call you today actually.” He ended the statement politely as if they were casually talking about the weather.
The sound of heels clicking on the marble floor outside ended the silence after Theo's statement.
Chris cleared his throat. “I am sorry you were hurt.” He drummed his pen on the table. “I am sorry about the whole thing. I am not going to lie. I have loved Kelly from a distance for years. I wanted to take her from you. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Everybody is sorry. Let’s all slap a band aid on it and forget it happened,” Theo growled. “To think, Chris, that I encouraged you to talk to me, to tell me about this woman that had you in knots. I was actually feeling sympathy for you, remonstrating with you about women. When all along you were talking about my wife, mine, my wife. I married her; I love her; we have a family. You should have stayed out of it, you should have known better and yet you say you don’t know what you were thinking?”
Theo scoffed and threw his hands up in the air. “You were thinking that you had to have Kelly at any cost. You wanted her to turn her back on me and our children and live with you. You struck when she was low and vulnerable and though she should have known better she willingly went along with it.”
Chris swallowed. “That’s not…”
“Let me finish,” Theo bellowed, he stood up and paced. “I have thought about this conversation for months. I have thought about taking your neck in my bare hands and squeezing it till you are lifeless. I have been so angry I would have loved to see you and Kelly rotting in Hell together. To think that in this very room you two might have even had sex …” his voice trailed off. “But eventually I calmed down. I clung to Jesus so hard during this whole situation that believe it or not, I do not feel as vicious as I once did. I am a man determined to rescue his family from being broken up. And Kelly is my family, Chris. And so is the baby. So I have to ask, what are your plans for the baby? I can't live with the thought of you having some attack of conscience later on in life and deciding to claim Mark. I do not want you anywhere near Kelly or my family ever again.”
“I have no plans for Mark,” Chris said, heaving a sigh. “I have completely bowed out of the picture.” He spread his arms wide. “Kelly made it plain to me sometime ago that you were the love of her life. Last time we talked she said she really, really hates me. I would have liked to have a relationship with Mark, but I realize how uncomfortable and intrusive that would be for you two. So I am once again out.”
It was Theo's turn to sigh. He sat down heavily in the chair across from Chris. In the whole scheme of things he realized that Chris was being generous. He could create all sorts of problems for his family if he wanted.
“Couple months ago, my world went haywire. I went through the five stages of grief, I can tell you that. I still struggle with the anger part of it. Anger against you, anger against Kelly, anger against my ministry. I was really angry, but through all of this I was sure of one thing—I was not letting my marriage go. Kelly and I will work this out, what doesn’t break us will make us stronger. We were always meant to be together.” He ran his hand over his face and glanced at Chris. “You will find your true love one day because she's out there.”
Chris snorted. “No disrespect, Theo, but I doubt I will ever love anybody ever again. At least not the way I loved Kelly.”
Theo grimaced and then got up. There was an underlying anger toward Chris especially when he spoke about Kelly, and he felt the very real desire to shout, well good for you, I hope you never find anybody else to love!
“Whatever you decide, don’t forget that God loves you and this whole situation could have been avoided if you had just trusted him and not yielded to temptation.”
Chris nodded, a dejected slump to his shoulder. “Thanks, Theo. I know I don’t deserve your civility and once again I am truly sorry that you got hurt in this whole thing.”
Theo nodded and headed toward the door. “Take care of yourself.”
He did not stop to hear Chris' reply. He left the office and walked through the reception area. Slowly he could feel the slow burning anger toward Chris lift. When he got into the car he felt a bit lighter than when he entered.
He drove home slowly, a determined set to his chin. He was going to have a serious talk with Kelly. She needed to understand that this monstrous blow to their marriage could never happen again, must never happen again.
When he entered the house Kelly was lounging on the back patio reading a book. The children were still at school, so the place was eerily quiet.
He sauntered onto the patio and look
ed at her. She jumped when she saw him, a half smile playing across her lips. “You startled me. I just put the baby down for a nap and decided to catch up on my reading. Welcome home. It’s great to see you.” She got up to give him a hug.
He looked at her sternly, a fierce look on his face. “Before you touch me, here are the rules.”
Kelly stiffened and sank back down in the chair, a fearful look on her face.
“Number one, you and I will never again let a third party enter our marriage. Never! You understand me?”
Kelly’s eyes watered and she whispered. “I am so sorry about that.”
“Number two,” he said ignoring her, “you and our three children will be living with me in Cayman. I know you were waiting for me to ask, but I had to be sure I was over the major part of this. I didn’t want to have any residual resentment towards you or our youngest child. I can anticipate that in years to come I will feel twinges of betrayal, after all I am only human. But I cannot just let us go like that. I don’t want to start over with someone else. I don’t want to be away from you much longer.”
She nodded again, wiping away the tears from her eyes though she was smiling, a hopeful look in her eyes.
“Number three,” he continued, joining her on the seat, “never ever stop communicating with me, okay? If I get too overbearing, if I stop being the husband you love, tell me…talk to me.”
He wiped the tears that were running unchecked down her face with his thumb.
“Yes,” she whispered, “I love you Theo, and only you.”
“This is no fairytale, Kelly. Happily ever after is for storybooks. I just want to know that we'll hang in there together, you understand me?”
“Yes,” Kelly said chokingly.
“I can't hear you,” Theo grinned looking at her lovingly. “Are the rules clear and completely understood?”
Private Sins (Three Rivers Series: Book 1) Page 13