But, no matter how proud, how aloof, how miserable he became, it was inevitable that a wealthy, handsome, single young man would inspire great matrimonial interest. Feverish competition exploded among the masses of aristocratic women vying for his hand, with the fiercest, the most vocal, and the most relentless of these being two particularly ambitious women.
In the country, his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, insisted to all who would listen that he would marry her sickly daughter, Anne. In the city, his best friend Charles Bingley’s amoral sister Caroline informed all in her circle of friends that he would choose her.
Neither was correct.
Speculations and prophesies ended with Fitzwilliam Darcy’s surprise marriage to a little country mouse named Elizabeth Bennet. All who thought they were “in the know” were stunned when Darcy fell in love with the sparkling Elizabeth, a poor but gently bred young lady of infinite humor and intelligence, and although Miss Eliza Bennet never once chased Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, he was run to ground like a fox, and happily so.
He was alive again, a bit older perhaps, but a healthy young man rescued nonetheless, besotted and hopelessly in love.
Chapter 2
“Oooh, you are an evil, wicked, vile man.” A mortified Lizzy emerged from the floor as soon as Bradford left, closing the door to their bedroom behind him. Covering her burning cheeks with her hands, she squeaked with laughter. At first faking his remorse, and badly at that, Darcy swiftly grabbed her and tickled her back into the bed, beginning again his inventory of kisses. First her forehead, then her eyes, then her nose…
“No! No, you don’t. Not this morning, oh please, William! You have made us late for breakfast every morning since our return. It is past embarrassing. The whole staff knows we’re up here.” She then tilted her head to the side and pointed to a spot just beneath her ear, thereby ensuring a continuation of his barrage of kisses to the underside of her throat. “…Ooh, here, you’ve missed a spot, aaahhh lovely… and they know what is going on; they are not stupid! Please, dear, let us just get dressed and go down to breakfast before they stop bothering with it altogether.”
“Maybe tomorrow,” he growled, and truth be told, she capitulated happily.
***
It was very late in the morning when the smiling bride and groom finally emerged hand in hand from their suites. Nearing the middle of the grand staircase, they encountered Mrs. Reynolds.
“Good morning, Mrs. Reynolds.”
“Good morning, Mr. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy.” The aged housekeeper smiled warmly up at her beloved boy, silently thanking the Lord for his obvious happiness.
“Mr. Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam has arrived and is waiting for you in the library.” Mrs. Reynolds beamed with the joyful news. She knew how deeply her master had mourned when they thought his cousin dead, and how hard he had fought back tears when the news had arrived of his safety.
“Why that old degenerate; we didn’t expect him for at least another two weeks! Has he been waiting long?” Darcy’s pace down the stairs quickened. Lagging behind but still holding her husband’s hand, Elizabeth began to feel flutters of embarrassment and turned her head away, wondering how she could perhaps better blend into the wallpaper.
“Well, about three hours, I should say,” continued Mrs. Reynolds. “He arrived very early, as always, and has settled into the library with ‘Fanny Hill.’ Oh, he’s not lost his appetite, I can tell you. He’s already had several servings of breakfast and even went downstairs into the kitchen to hug the cook—greeted everyone below stairs. Why, he had us all laughing like fools, he did. He specifically requested that we not wake you, insisted that the ‘newlyweds’ not be disturbed.”
A low moan escaped Elizabeth as she blushed crimson from her forehead to her toes.
Darcy tried not to laugh and patted Lizzy’s hand. “It could be worse, believe me,” he whispered. “Knowing my cousin, we’re lucky he didn’t barge right in on us with his morning tea.” He continued down, Elizabeth dragging in tow. “Mrs. Reynolds, Could you send a tray into the library with some breakfast for Mrs. Darcy and me?”
Elizabeth suddenly stopped. “Oh no, William, I don’t… I mean, I’m really not that hungry. I think I’ll take a walk in the garden… my afternoon walk… I mean morning walk… if you don’t mind.”
Her face was flushed, and she chewed viciously on her lower lip, all the while trying to appear perfectly reasonable. How in the world was she expected to face Darcy’s cousin now? He had just sat there in a room directly beneath theirs while they were so busily enthusiastic upstairs. No, thank you, she would just as soon take a brisk walk.
“But it’s too cold for a walk this morning, isn’t it?” He successfully kept the smile from his face. She was still so easily embarrassed by so many things, and he loved her all the more for it.
“No, it’s fine, really. I’ll merely walk faster.” Her face brightened up a bit. “You know how I adore a good trudge in the mud. Excuse me, I’ll just run up and get my wrap.” Elizabeth turned, retreating quickly up the stairs, muttering bitterly all the way. “This is so humiliating! How am I supposed to behave rationally with dozens of people around knowing what’s happening? Even when we haven’t done anything, I feel obliged to blush just for decorum’s sake.”
It had been much easier in Scotland and Wales where they had honeymooned. For eight wonderful weeks they were alone and in love, traveling and seeing new wonders daily, a romantic dream come true every night.
Their first time had been thoroughly embarrassing, romantic, and very funny—all at the same time. How could a country girl have been so ignorant? She was blushing again at the remembrance and smiling to herself. However, one day he’ll have to tell me how he knew so much himself. He certainly wasn’t ignorant.
Still grinning, she grabbed her wrap from her dressing room and headed down the stairs, spying the back of Fitzwilliam’s head as he stood to greet Darcy, just before the door to the library was shut. They will probably be in there for hours. I’ll go in when I return and say a quick hello. That should suffice for the moment.
***
When Fitzwilliam saw Darcy enter the library, he immediately stood and extended his hand in greeting, a huge grin spreading across his tanned face. The colonel had not been back to Pemberley since the great victory at Waterloo, when after being wounded on the battlefield, he had been listed as missing and mourned as dead for several days. The sensationalized reports of his valor, his injury, and his extraordinary recovery had all made him a darling of the ton and a favorite of the newspapers, one amidst a handful of the surviving heroes of the long Peninsular War.
And, worse yet, it had made him a national celebrity.
Darcy grabbed his hand and struggled to suppress misting eyes. “I am afraid that just won’t do this time, you old bastard.” He spoke huskily, pulling his cousin into an uncharacteristically emotional embrace. Moved by Darcy’s sentiment, Fitzwilliam fought back his own tears as they both began to pound each other’s backs in manly fashion. He was nonplussed. This was not the normal greeting received from the reserved and achingly proper Darcy, at least not the morose Darcy that Fitzwilliam had left eleven months earlier. This was more like the mischievous companion of his youth.
Slightly amazed, Fitzwilliam pulled himself back to stare intently into Darcy’s eyes. “I’m sorry that I missed your wedding, brat, but good Lord, if you haven’t all the markings of a lovesick puppy!” Richard shoved at the side of Darcy’s head, just a tap really. “God’s indeed in his heaven, and you look like a grinning idiot!”
Darcy laughed happily and chucked his cousin’s arm, a mere glancing blow. “And you look like shit itself.” They hugged each other’s shoulders once again briefly, moving a little farther into the room as he ripped a dangling button from Fitzwilliam’s ancient uniform then grimaced at some crusted food on the sleeve. “No, really. My Lord, a sorrier sight I have never seen. Look at you, Fitz, you’re a disgrace! Did your batman commit suicide when he learned you
were still alive?”
The pushing and taunting back and forth increased until they suddenly began to wrestle in earnest, knocking over the odd table and chair, and then, just as suddenly, they began to laugh uproariously.
“You’re weak… as an… an old woman, Darcy.” Fitzwilliam gasped for breath.
“This is no time to discuss your sorry love life… Besides, I… held back because you’re getting old… and fat.” Darcy wheezed and waved away all further comments with his hand. “But who gives a shit about you—tell me about Waterloo! I heard it went badly at first.” Darcy knew his cousin hated to speak about the battles in which he had fought during the past ten years, but good heavens, this had been Waterloo! Their energy spent for the moment, they both leaned back upon the huge library desk.
“Badly?!” Fitzwilliam made a rude noise with his lips. “That’s an unfortunately inadequate description. It was a fiasco! It was bungled almost from the start.” He stopped speaking for a while to shove tangles of errant dark blond hair from his forehead as Darcy set the tables and chairs to right. “I tell you there were times during that battle when I would have happily sacrificed my brother Regis for just a few dozen medieval English archers.”
Darcy let out a bark of laughter. “Not impressed, Fitz—not by half. Over the years, you have volunteered to forego your brother for many lesser things. A hot cup of coffee, better seats at the opera; once it was a desire to obtain quicker mail delivery in Portugal.”
“You are a small and vindictive man, Darcy. I don’t have to stand for this type of character assassination.” With that, Fitzwilliam dragged over a chair and sat, reaching into his pocket for his ever-present pipe and tobacco pouch.
“So, how is newly wedded bliss?” His gaze narrowed on his cousin for a moment. “As if I need to ask, you smug-looking little ass. I am sorry now I insisted they not announce me upon my arrival.” He studied his tobacco pouch intently, dipping his pipe bowl within it and then packing down the brownish flakes. “I was beginning to fear that the two of you would never come up for air! My, my, I had no idea you had such staying power, brat.” He leaned back and lit the pipe. He puffed once or twice to get it going. “I am quite impressed. But you know, Darcy, even the Huns pulled out occasionally.” He leaned his head back to study the ceiling and then began to chuckle when he heard his cousin’s groans.
Scowling, Darcy sat down heavily on the chair behind his desk. “You see, this is what I feared. All right, let’s get this thing settled up front. I would appreciate it if you would watch your tongue in front of Elizabeth; she’s still very shy about all this. I don’t want you making crude remarks like that in front of her.”
“Please, Cousin, I am desolate. You wound me until I bleed upon your fine carpet. Do you think me completely devoid of feeling or sensitivity?” Fitzwilliam did attempt to appear upset. “I am highly offended. If I thought you had at least one friend to serve as your second, I would call you out.”
Darcy threw him a sardonic look and poured himself a cup of coffee. “I have plenty of friends, dozens in fact.”
“Name six.”
“Well…Bingley, for one. He’s a tremendously fine fellow and likes me very much.”
“Bingley doesn’t count. He is notoriously indiscriminate, likes everyone, even me.”
“A lot you know.”
“Oh, very funny. Now, let us come back to all the lurid details, such as whether or not you were you able to perform all night.” Darcy threw a pen at Fitzwilliam’s head. “Terribly sorry, momentary relapse.” He puffed once or twice on his pipe and blinked innocently at his cousin. “So just where is this new missus of yours? Still gagged and tied to the bedposts? Drugged, perhaps?”
Darcy stared fixedly at Fitzwilliam. “If you must know, she is as far away from you as I could send her.” Darcy lifted the cup to his lips and sipped. “Is it any wonder that decent families hide their daughters from you?”
“I resent that, Darcy. I truly do.”
“Do you deny it?”
“No, of course not, but I truly, truly resent it—cuts dreadfully into my social life.”
“In actuality, she’s taking a walk.”
“In this weather?! Bah! You see, she has no sense. It is no wonder she was willing to marry you.”
“I told you she is very shy, and she’ll sort it out herself if you will but refrain from teasing her.”
“Say no more, say no more, my good man. Please, Darcy…” He shook his head. “I am the soul of discretion with the ladies—a gentleman always, as you well know.” The knock on the door brought in the requested breakfast tray.
“Capital. Very wise. Keeping up his stamina. Excellent.”
“Fitzwilliam!”
His cousin scrubbed his face with his hand, grinning continuously. “Sorry, I don’t know what gets into me around you. You’re just so damn easy to fluster.”
Shaking his head, Darcy abandoned any attempts to hide his own laughter and eagerly began his breakfast. Fitzwilliam reached over and swiftly grabbed a piece of ham and toast, his hand just missing being slapped away.
“May I offer you some breakfast?” Darcy asked sarcastically, his mouth full.
“Oh, Lord, no. Your exemplary Mrs. Reynolds was most obliging and provided me with no less than three breakfasts as I cooled my heels down here, plus coffee and cakes until I almost burst. I couldn’t eat another thing.” He reached over and grabbed a scone. “By the way, brat, I’ve just been visiting the Grande Dame herself, and she’s still spewing poison about the two of you. How long is this feud between you going to continue? She requires some guidance with that great old horror house of hers and was almost desperate enough to turn to me.” He leveled a gaze at his cousin, his eyebrows raised high into his forehead, an eloquent expression conveying how totally futile that would be. “I loath to admit this, but I am a complete imbecile when it comes to grand-manor types of things.”
“Don’t sell yourself so short, Fitz.” He shook an admonishing finger at his cousin. “Believe me, you’re a complete imbecile about a great many more things than that.”
“Very humorous, brat. Very droll. Seriously, is this war going to continue for a long time? You will be back in the immense bosom of our aunt by Easter, won’t you?” He lowered his voice to its sincerest depth. “Please, Darcy, have a heart. Stop thinking only of yourself…think of me.” He looked pathetic. “You know how I so hate having my own pleasures curtailed, and I would miss our annual pilgrimage of penance.” He grabbed for another piece of food, a fork just missing his hand.
“This war, as you aptly call it, was begun by Aunt Catherine, and it will need to be rectified by Aunt Catherine. As neither she nor my beloved mother saw fit to consider my feelings regarding marriage with Cousin Anne, I feel no remorse at disregarding her opinion about whom I did marry.” Darcy poured himself another cup of coffee, splashing it all over with his angry, jerky hand movements.
Fitzwilliam darted a glance at his irate cousin, all the while trying to get his own cup beneath the moving spout. “…Yes, well, as long as you keep a happy thought…” he mumbled.
Darcy slammed down the coffee pot. “No, I won’t let her abuse Elizabeth ever again. She doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.” A smile softly crept into Darcy’s eyes, his lips twitching at their corners. “She is the kindest, sweetest, most delicate creature God ever created.” Darcy’s face had a faraway, glazed, and grinning expression, very similar to an empty-headed jack-o-lantern. It became too much for his cousin.
“Hold that thought for a moment, if you would, Darcy. Please. Could you pass that trash pail. No, not that one—the other—yes, the larger one. Yes, thank you. Why? Because I feel I’m going to throw up at any moment!”
Darcy tried not to laugh but had little success. “If I remember correctly, you were besotted with her once yourself.” He leaned back in his chair, smirking broadly.
“Incorrect yet again. An unbroken streak, I might add. Now, I may have been bemused by
her and bewitched by her, even beguiled, but I was never besotted. That, my friend, I left entirely to you.” While Fitzwilliam sipped his coffee, he regarded his cousin with warm affection. “I will, however, admit to a bit of envy for your happiness, would even consider marriage for myself one day… if I could meet a woman of character, integrity, compassion, intelligence, gentleness…”
Darcy regarded Fitzwilliam as if he had just grown another head. “Who are you, and what have you done with my cousin?”
“…with a face like a goddess and a body meant solely for sin…”
“Ah! And the world returns to its revolutions; all is right again with the universe.”
“Getting back to Catherine,” Fitzwilliam continued, never missing a beat, “I have thought a great deal about this—now don’t go giving me that haughty Uncle George expression. I firmly believe that Elizabeth is the one person in this pathetic little family circle of ours not needing protection from Aunt Catherine. I seem to remember your teeny wife having the backbone of a Viking. I have every faith that she is more than able to hold her own with the Marble Countess.”
When Darcy began to protest, Fitzwilliam put up his hand to stop him. “No, Darcy, I think it was your own pride that was offended by Catherine’s highhanded behavior more than anything she may have said to Elizabeth. Come, Cousin!” he whined pathetically. “To hell with Aunt Catherine—have pity on me! You will have to let this thing go eventually. Remember, ‘Family is Everything.’” Fitzwilliam raised his hand in salute to their aunt’s favorite quote.
“You’re probably right. I can’t judge myself anymore, it seems. I only know that she said some very mean things to Lizzy about her family—yes, I realize I’d said the same things she did, but I recognized my deplorable behavior and apologized for it. Now Aunt Catherine will have to do the same. Let’s not discuss this anymore, please.”
Darcy and Fitzwilliam: A Tale of a Gentleman and an Officer Page 2