by Lynda Lukow
Connor clasped his hands behind his back. “I should like to meet her.”
“She should return anon.”
Connor stared out the door. Within moments, he glimpsed auburn hair. His unbridled relief almost blinded him to the pails she held. “Drop them!”
Kasey glared at him.
“Now!” He did not care for challenge in her eyes as she crossed the chamber and stopped before him.
“As ye wish, Laird Mackintosh.”
Connor swore as water flooded his boots.
Payton’s hands flew up to her mouth. “Och, forgive her, milord. She be new.” She turned to Kasey. “Dinna just stand there, lass. Get some cloths and clean up this mess.”
“Move not a breath, Kasey.”
She took one step back.
How dare she continue to disobey him? He slung her over his shoulder. “I have told ye afore, the Camerons may enslave their lady, but Mackintoshes do not.”
The color drained from Payton’s face. “I beg ye, milord, please tell me this woman be not yer bride.” At Connor’s nod, she fanned herself with a cloth. “Oh, milord! Oh, milady! I beg yer pardons. Please forgive me, Lady Mackintosh!”
Connor ignored Payton’s apologies as well as Kasey’s struggles. In the great hall, he lowered his wife to her feet and grasped her shoulders. “I pray ye can explain yer disobedience.”
Her gaze darted around the hall. Fear flashed in the blue depths. She folded her hands at her waist. “And if I canna, will ye beat me?”
A sword to his heart would have hurt less. He released her and stepped away. “I canna believe ye asked such.”
“I beg yer pardon, milord.” She curtsied and then fled.
Connor took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He needed to clear his mind before he confronted her again.
“Give her time, milord.”
His gaze flew to the doorway. “This concerns ye not, Evonne.”
“Heed her counsel, brother. She has known yer wife much longer than ye.”
“How much time?”
“That, milord, depends on ye and Kasey.”
****
Sweat beaded her brow, her strength waned, and she starved for breath, yet Kasey continued to run, desperate to leave her demons behind. She followed a small stream to a loch.
Pain sliced her side. She collapsed onto a boulder and gasped for air. Dear Lord, why had she all but dared her mountainous laird to strike her?
“Because ye needed to test him.”
Mist swirled around her.
“And ye will continue to do so until ye accept that Connor merits yer faith.” A slender form emerged. “Ye will teach him patience, and in time he will show ye happiness.”
“Mother?”
“I have forsaken ye not, just as Connor never will. Trust yer heart, daughter.” Brietta’s light dimmed.
“Dinna leave me!”
“I shall live within ye forever.”
Although her mother did not move, Kasey felt a warm glow within her heart. “But I need to see ye, to speak to ye.”
“The time has come for ye to depend upon another.”
Tears brimmed in Kasey’s eyes as her mother’s spirit rose with the early morning mist. “Fare thee well, mother. I hope ye have found peace at last.”
Kasey picked up several flat stones and tossed them, one by one, into the loch.
“Mayhap ye should name each rock for the cares ye no longer need bear.”
“What good would come of that, Evonne?”
“When ye throw the rock, ye would also throw away the worry.”
“If only it be that easy.”
Evonne placed a hand on Kasey’s shoulder. “What troubles ye, milady?”
Kasey stared out at the water. The day owned not enough time to name all the doubts that plagued her mind, but she could name the foremost. “Laird Mackintosh.”
“Do ye fear him?”
“Aye, I do.”
“I dinna believe he will ever strike ye.”
“My body heals quickly.” Kasey shrugged. “But, in truth, I fear he will lead me to believe in what could never be. I couldna cope if he spurned me.”
“So ye rebuff him first?”
“I have done no such thing.”
“Aye, milady, ye have. Every time ye doubt him, ye push him further away.”
“Why should I trust him?”
“He came for ye.”
“It took him long enough.”
“Do ye blame him for the harms the Camerons meted?”
“Nay. I made the decision to heal Hunter, and I suffered the consequences. Had I known the punishment beforehand, I would have done the same.”
“Then what be the trouble? Connor offers ye more than ye had ever dreamed, and yet ye refuse to embrace it.”
“Ye dinna understand. I did all I could to earn Laird Cameron’s love.” She slumped onto the boulder and laid her head in her hands. “He knew me all my life, but without blood ties he found naught in me to like. How can I expect Connor, who hardly kens me, to love me? And if that miracle occurs, how long will it last? What will happen once he sees I no longer be the woman he knew?”
The bushes rustled. Heat climbed to Kasey’s face. How long had Connor stood there?
“Gavin needs ye, Evonne.”
Kasey latched onto Evonne’s hands.
“I thank ye for yer aid, but my wife will share her concerns first with me.”
****
Kasey’s eyes widened as Connor drew closer.
He stopped an arm’s reach away. She looked so heartbroken. He wanted to comfort her, but touching her would ignite passion, and passion would solve naught. They had to address these matters before they festered like unattended wounds. “No one fights my battles save me.”
Evonne freed her hands, curtsied and walked away.
“Be this a battle, milord?”
“It appears so. Ye and I should be on the same side, yet we pull agin each other.” If the demons plaguing her mind took up a sword, he would slay them. But how could he best what he did not understand? “Mayhap if we share a bit aboot ourselves?”
“I have naught to offer.”
“Only ye have the other half of my soul.” Connor cursed his tongue. That simple statement did not begin to express all she meant to him. He picked a sprig of heather and held it out to her.
She turned her back on his offering and his words.
His hand fell to his side. He dropped the flower, then crushed it with his boot. He immediately regretted his unbridled action. His heart felt the same as the petals. “Why did ye go down the kitchens this morn?”
“I wished to gather fare to share in yer chamber afore ye tended yer duties.” She sprang to her feet. “My apologies, milord. I dinna intend to waste yer precious time.”
Connor sat on the rock and tugged her onto his lap. “Naught of more import awaits me. Why did ye not tell Payton ye be my wife?”
Kasey hung her head. “Yer claims of the life awaiting me seemed too good to be true. When Payton assumed I be a servant, I believed ye lied to me.”
He could not blame her for her distrust. For too long after they reunited, he had hidden behind a wall of silence and deceit. “Would my promise to forevermore tell ye the truth resolve our problem?”
“The trouble be not yers.”
“We share the difficulty, Kasey.” She tried to stand, but he tightened his hold. “What more can I do to prove myself?”
“Ye be aught I ever dreamed of in a husband—handsome, abiding, protective, and, despite my accusations otherwise, honest. What more could I ask?”
“I sound perfect.”
One corner of her mouth turned up. “Did I fail to mention arrogant and stubborn?”
“Blame my obstinance for our reunion.” His stomach tightened with his thinning patience. “My faults aside, why do we have this problem?”
“I be not worthy.”
Connor set her on her feet and walked toward the water�
��s edge. “Ye insult me.” He glanced over his shoulder. “When ye degrade yerself, ye abase me, too.”
“I dinna understand.”
“It be yer opinion that not only have I settled for less than I deserve, but I have also saddled my clan with an unfit lady.” He turned to face her. “Ye canna see that I take all my vows seriously, can ye? Ye believe I allowed the king to keep us apart far too long, yet ye fail to accept I, too, grew impatient. I disobeyed him, and I risked my youngest brother’s life to see us together agin.
“If that still be not enough to prove my love, remember this: I allowed my duties to lapse whilst I waited outside the Cameron holding to reclaim ye. And then I spent more time by yer fevered side, begging God to take me in yer stead.Ye fail to see all I have endured to assure our future. Instead ye dwell upon the scars left by Cameron’s abuse, and we both pay the price. Ye expect me to behave as he, and I must constantly prove ye wrong.” He fisted his hands by his side. “It be a shame yer dagger missed the mark, Lady Mackintosh.”
“What?”
“Mayhap it will prove a blessing.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her through the copse.
“Where do ye intend to take me?”
“To see Laird Cameron.”
“I have no need to see his grave.”
Connor stopped and pulled her around. “Did ye not hear me? Ye dinna kill him, but after ye confront him, I intend to remedy yer lapse.”
His anger drained along with the color in her face. “He canna move his limbs, Kasey. He will never hurt ye agin.”
“If he can move his lips—”
“He will only spite himself.”
“I thought I killed him.”
“Mayhap I should have told ye sooner. I hoped if ye thought him dead, his actions could no longer haunt ye.” He pulled her into his arms. “But I see I be wrong. I ken ye suffered greatly at his hand, and for that I be truly sorry. But yer present and yer future lie in yer hands, Kasey. Until ye truly understand ye did naught to merit his abuse, ye will never be free to accept my love.”
He kissed the top of her head and released her. “When ye listed my faults, ye forgot to mention my greed. I want ye, Kasey—heart and soul—but my desire matters not.
“All ye despise about yer relationship with Laird Cameron ye now do to me. No matter what I offer, I canna earn yer love, and I tire of trying. Someday ye will realize that love be a gift. When given freely, it comes back tenfold.”
Moisture clouded his vision. “Until that time, I give ye leave to live as ye wish. If ye would like to see Laird Cameron, I will arrange an escort to the MacPherson holding on the morrow. For now, I have duties to attend, and the seamstress awaits ye in our chamber.”
He walked toward the castle praying she would call him back, but as the distance grew, so did his despair. His heart felt as if a boulder lay upon it. But how could he mourn the loss of something he never had?
Chapter Twenty Four
“I never took ye for a fool, milady.” Dillon stepped out from behind the foliage. “I guess I know ye not as well as I thought.”
Kasey dashed away her tears. “Leave me be.”
“Nay, I canna. I care too much about ye and my brother to allow this foolishness to continue.” He strode over, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her to her feet.
He ignored her questions as he dragged her along the path. Never had he met a more stubborn woman. Except Ciara. Two of a kind. Both had the eternal love of a Mackintosh man, and neither had the sense to appreciate that devotion. Well, his patience had reached its end. As soon as he got Kasey and Connor straightened out, he would deal with Ciara.
“Could ye please slow down, Dillon?”
“Nay.” He tightened his grip when Kasey stumbled, but did not slow his stride. “As the youngest son, I canna marry until my brothers be settled. I grow older and more impatient each passing day, milady.”
“Yer hair turns gray afore my eyes.”
“I see no humor in this, milady.” Dillon towed her up the final hill toward the hunter’s lodge. He prayed the open door meant Ciara had succeeded as well.
He slowed his pace, and Kasey dug her heels into the soft ground. “I shall go no further until ye tell me why ye have brought me here.”
“Someone inside be in dire need of healing, milady.”
“Why did ye not tell me this afore?”
Dillon pulled her behind him as he crossed the threshold. “I shall trade ye.” He flung Kasey forward and then pulled Ciara out.
Connor caught Kasey.
Dillon slammed the door and wedged it with the fallen tree they used to keep out winter snow. For extra measure, he straddled the bole. He wiped the sweat from his brow and looked over at Ciara. “Did ye enjoy yerself as much as I?”
The tree trunk bucked. A thud echoed through the forest. “Release me, brother, and I will forget yer insolence.”
Ciara furrowed her brow. “Will the door hold?”
“Longer than Connor’s feet and shoulders.” Dillon smiled as he searched her eyes. “Ye have yet to answer this morn’s question.”
“I would prefer to stay in the copse.”
Pottery smashed against the inside of the door.
Dillon winked and reached out for her hand. His heart swelled at the warmth of her delicate fingers. Aught else swelled when she fell willingly into his embrace. He pulled her across his lap. “The copse willna serve our purpose.”
“Dillon!” Connor and Kasey shouted in chorus.
“At least they agree on my name.” He smiled down at the woman in his arms. “Do ye remember years ago when I threw ye in the pond?”
“How could I forget? I took to my bed for a week.”
“Mayhap I should have waited until summer.”
“I swear I will break every bone in yer body, Dillon.” Connor stressed his threat with another thud to the door.
“Ye will have to get out first, milord.” He smiled at Ciara. “Remember when we rode through the orchard?”
She smacked his shoulder. “I will never forgive ye that day, Dillon Mackintosh. Ye made more turns than the River Tay. I feared I would never find my way out.”
Dillon refused to acknowledge the constant beating on the door behind him. “Do ye ken why, Lady MacPherson?”
She shook her head.
“I wanted to prove ye needed me.” He noticed Ciara’s blush at the same time all grew silent behind him. He looked over his shoulder. “Aboot time. Yer noise makes courting difficult.”
“Dillon?”
He sighed at the sweetness in Kasey’s voice. “Yes, sister?”
“Please let me out. I wish not to be in the company of this insensitive oaf.”
“Insensitive oaf? I, wife, have been more than patient with ye and yer blindness.”
“My what?”
“Aye, Kasey. Ye canna see the difference atween me and yer previous laird.”
“I dinna think this be a good idea, Dillon.” Ciara stared past his shoulder.
“Ye have a better suggestion?” He nipped her ear, then took possession of her lips.
She moved her hand up to his neck.
His sword forged as his tongue stroked hers. Need stole his breath. He had never loved another and needed to hear her say the same. “My sweet, I refuse to live a life of discontent as Connor and Kasey now do.”
Her shoulders sagged.
“I ken yer da wanted ye to marry Connor. I will know now if he has ever been yer choice.”
She shook her head.
“Has yer brother betrothed ye to another?” He took the tear that rolled down her cheek as his answer. “Do ye love this man?”
She nodded.
A knife stabbed his heart. He attempted to pull her hand from his shoulder, but she dug in her nails. Finger by finger, he pried her hand free. He removed her from his lap and rose. “Why be ye here with me if ye love another.”
She flinched as though he had struck her, then, within a breath’s time, she fisted her hands
on her hips. “I love no other.”
“But ye just said…” He crossed his arms. “Ye said ye loved him.”
“Who?”
“I asked ye if yer brother pledged yer hand to another.”
“And I dinna answer ye.”
“But I thought…” The woman would make him daft. “Tell me now. Has he?”
“Nay. He kens who I wish to marry and awaits the coward’s request.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Who be this coward?”
“If ye have to ask, then I have naught more to say to ye.” She spun on her heel and stomped away.
She gained four steps before he grasped her arm. “Ye dinna think me a coward, do ye?”
“Not until this day.”
He drew her to him. “I have always loved ye, Ciara.”
“Aboot time ye said the words, Dillon.”
He released her arm and slid his hand down to hold hers. He raised a brow. “And ye have aught to say in return.”
She pursed her lips.
He tightened his grip.
“I be thinking.”
“Mayhap this will help.” He captured her lips and kissed her as he had never kissed another. “Have ye aught to say now?”
“I love ye, too, Dillon. I always have and always will.”
He swung her into his arms and carried her towards the hunter’s lodge. He kicked the tree trunk away and flung open the door. “Get out!”
Kasey, who sat at the table by the door, obeyed anon. Connor glared at him from the far corner, but made no move to leave.
Dillon placed Ciara on the pallet and turned to face his brother. “I told ye to leave, milord.”
“I heard ye.” His brother walked over to a chair and sat.
“God’s teeth, Connor, what be ye doing?”
“I thought to ask ye the same thing.”
“I would think a married man would ken.” Dillon held up a hand. “But wait, although ye be wed less than a pair of days ye have already forgotten yer wife’s needs.”
Connor crossed the room in three strides. “Take care, brother, for ye know not what ye say.”
“I be well aware of my words, milord. Yer wife lived her entire life under the heel of a tyrant, and ye expect her to forget it in one night.” Dillon reached out to grasp his brother’s shoulder, but Connor knocked his hand away. “She needs time, Connor. Ye will no doubt spend the rest of yer life proving yerself. I wonder if ye be up to the challenge.”