by Tia Siren
“Mia,” I corrected.
“Lola, Mia, who cares? You just need a good woman. Then you won’t care anymore either.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I don’t suppose you actually have anything helpful to offer?” I asked, not all that amused.
“No. I don’t think there’s any help for your problem. It’s a problem of your own making. Let it go. Seriously, it’s painful. Like, you woke up one day and decided you wanted to make your life hell. Why? Why can’t you go back to being the old Brad? You had a minor midlife crisis. It’s over. End of story.”
I shrugged. “I don’t like the old Brad. I want to be different. I’m bored, and I need more. It wasn’t a crisis—it was an epiphany.”
“Fine. Let me give you some advice. You’re trying too hard. You came on too strong. Back off a bit. You’ve got to play hard to get. You just put it all out there and you didn’t leave her anything to chase,” he said.
I groaned. “I don’t want to do the whole cat-and-mouse thing. I don’t have time for that. I want her. She’s mine. She’s got to know that,” I insisted.
Jaxon laughed. “This isn’t the dark ages. You can’t call in a pact or offer a dowry or whatever. Let her feel wanted, but, Lord, slow down, man.”
I took a deep breath. He was right. It was a character flaw. When I wanted something, I got it. There was no waiting or negotiating.
“Fine. I’ll back off for now,” I grumbled.
“Good. I’ve got to go. Unlike you, I’m still spreading myself around.” He winked.
Sitting back in my chair, I thought about what Jaxon had said. I would back off, but I wanted to remind her I was still waiting. I decided to go old school. I sent a box of fancy chocolates to her condo with a note apologizing for being so pushy.
I hoped it would be enough to convince her to accept my wooing. I would try a more traditional approach. Obviously, the heavy-handed approach wasn’t going to work.
“You good?” Tina said, stopping by my office on her way out.
“I am.”
“You sure?” she asked with genuine concern.
I laughed. “Geez, I must have sounded pretty rough. Jaxon was concerned as well.”
She shrugged. “You aren’t one to be so open with your private life. I think you really connected with a lot of people tonight. It wasn’t a publicity stunt and wasn’t seen as such. I think you proved you are human, and that makes people feel invested in you. I hope it works out, Brad. I really do.”
“Thanks, Tina. Have a good night.”
By the time I got home, I had come up with a new plan. Mia and I had said a lot the other day, and it was only now that one of her reasons for rejecting me actually sank in. She thought I wanted her to give up her job and move to LA. She didn’t think I would move for her, so I was going to prove her wrong.
I fired up my laptop and did a search for homes in New York. I liked Mia’s condo, but I was serious about settling down and putting down roots. I quickly realized it wasn’t a house I needed to be looking for, though—it was a job. I could technically stay with Mia until we could pick out a place together. Assuming she was going to fall in love with me and my wooing, that was.
I couldn’t move there without a job, and I would go out of my mind without my career. It wasn’t easy to pick up and just move to another station on the other side of the country. I had a decent following in Los Angeles and along the West Coast, but that didn’t mean I would have the same following in New York. It was a cutthroat world. One wrong word and it could all blow up in my face. Showbiz was no joke.
For the first time, I seriously mulled over the satellite offer. It was risky. I wouldn’t have a guaranteed audience. I closed the laptop and leaned back against the couch. I was being irrational, but at least I could admit it. I was willing to give up everything I had for her, and she wouldn’t even give me the time of day.
Was I making a huge mistake? For the first time since I’d remembered the pact, I had doubts. I could be giving up everything, and all for nothing. All I needed was a little hope. If she could give me some kind of sign that she was at least considering my proposal, I would throw caution to the wind and move in at a minute’s notice. It was the rational side of me that kept me from doing just that.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mia
“Thank you again for the chocolates. They were amazing. I’ll have to find me a rich boyfriend who will buy me expensive chocolates,” one of the girls said with a giggle as she stopped me.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed them,” I said with a forced smile.
Brad’s little gift had been received. It was sweet, but I couldn’t bring myself to accept it at face value. I was jaded. I kept looking for the real meaning, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The old Brad would have sent chocolates because he was a good guy. This new Brad, I wasn’t so sure of. I felt like it was a bribe, but it was going to take a lot more than chocolates to buy my hand in marriage.
The entire week had been miserable. I missed him terribly, yet I hated him at the same time. I hated that he made me crazy and hated he had ever walked back into my life. Not hated, really. That was a stretch. But I didn’t like that he had messed things up and turned my safe and predictable world into chaos.
But I wanted him. How could I despise him and want him so badly at the same time? I was a hot mess and needed to forget about him. If only it were that easy. The truth was, I couldn’t get him off my mind.
“Good morning,” I said without enthusiasm as I walked through Helga’s door.
“Oh, hey! I was just thinking about you. How could I not while I ate one of these delicious chocolates? These things should be illegal. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they are.”
I smiled and sat down in the chair across from her desk. “I’m glad you like them.”
She shook her head. “So, you don’t like him why?”
“Because he wants to get married.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Oh yes, that is a terrible thing. How dare he?”
I cocked my head to the side and rolled my eyes. “It’s not that easy. He can’t expect me to just run off and marry him after we’ve barely even talked in eleven years.”
“But you did talk, and I imagine there was more than talking over the weekend. You like him, right?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“I do, and you do like him. In fact, I think you may love him.”
“No,” I said adamantly. “I don’t even know him.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince myself or Helga.
“Your heart does. Listen to your heart, not that ‘must always be right’ brain of yours.”
I laughed. “Can you blame me? My brain is a bit more reliable than my heart.”
Helga shook her head. “Honey, any man who knows chocolate as well as that man is worth keeping. Did you taste one? Naturally sweetened and organically sourced chocolate is no joke. The stuff is amazing. Maybe I’ll marry him.”
That made me smile. “Funny, you’re not the first woman to say that to me today. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just throw caution to the wind and let the man charm me?”
“Because you’re afraid,” she said softly.
“I’m not afraid.”
She nodded her head. “Yes, you are. You’re afraid he’ll make you fall in love with him again and then hurt you. It isn’t all that uncommon. We’re all like that. We all fear that our hearts will be broken. A broken heart doesn’t heal like any other wound. It leaves long-lasting scars that make it difficult to fully use our hearts again. He broke your heart once, and it still hurts. But he made a mistake. I think he recognizes that now, and he’s been hurting too. Maybe you should take the risk.”
I took a deep breath. “I can’t.”
“You can.”
“But—”
Helga held up a hand and shook her head. “You have to try. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. This could be your chance at true
love and happiness. Think of it as a Y in the road. The road less traveled may be filled with bumps and dangers, but the reward at the end is a hundred times better than the easy way that has no ups or downs, no highs or lows.”
Looking at her, I saw a hint of sadness in her usually happy eyes. “How come you never married, Helga?”
She gave a faint smile. “Isn’t it obvious? Because I took the easy road.”
I nodded my head in understanding. Looking at Helga was like looking at my future. Helga was a successful woman, wealthy and respected in the fashion community. She was also alone. Her dog was her entire world.
I sighed. “I understand. Thank you, Helga. I came by to let you know I’ll be heading out shortly. I’m going to Brooklyn for a tour of a factory. Then I have lunch with a designer and a few other interviews.”
She nodded. “Enjoy yourself. Relax and let yourself have some fun. This job is great, but it doesn’t have to be your whole life.”
I stood and left, her words replaying over and over in my head. I was being stubborn. I had made up my mind and never even considered the other option. I had immediately decided I didn’t want him because of what had happened in the past. If I was being completely honest with myself, I could admit that had been just as much my fault as his. I had practically begged him to have sex with me. I never told him how I felt, and I never really tried all that hard to talk to him after he left.
By the time I made it home for the night, my mind was made up. I would try. I would try and be friendlier and see if there could be a relationship between us. I knew it was risky and we could ultimately find we weren’t right for each other. That was okay. I had made peace with that.
Hey.
It was a one-word text that I hoped was enough. He had always been the one to pursue me. I wasn’t sure what to say to open the door I had slammed in his face. I practically held my breath, wondering if he would text me back. There was a good chance I had pushed him too far. He had texted and left me several voice mails since his departure, and I hadn’t bothered to reply.
After five minutes, I realized I had probably lost him.
“Oh, well. Easy come, easy go,” I mumbled, walking to the kitchen to pour a glass of wine.
At some point, I realized it was five o’clock on the West Coast, so he would be doing his show. That was why he wasn’t texting. Right? It had to be.
I instantly felt better and hoped it was true. I decided to lose myself in a little work and TV while I waited to see if he would reply.
It was close to eleven when my phone chirped. My heart did a crazy roll in my chest. Grabbing my phone, I took a deep breath and looked at the screen.
Hey, beautiful. I’ve missed you. Sorry, been in the booth.
It’s okay. Thank you for the chocolates. They were really good. It was a sweet gesture.
It wasn’t exactly what I’d planned to say. I was losing my nerve. I couldn’t even text the man right.
I’m sorry.
The two words meant something different. He had said it plenty of times, but this time I let my heart hear the apology, and it instantly felt fuller. There was a warm stirring in my belly, and it had nothing to do with sex or arousal.
I’m sorry for being such a bitch. Forgive me?
There was a heart emoji followed by his acceptance of my apology.
We texted for another hour before I couldn’t keep my eyes open. When I woke up the next morning, my phone was in bed with me. I quickly grabbed it. There was a series of good-night messages. The last one was a kissy face emoji.
I smiled, thinking about the man on the other end of the texts. He was silly and cheesy, completely sappy. Those were not words I would have ever thought could be used to describe him, but they were all true. He wasn’t really the gorgeous surfer dude who pretended to be carefree all the time. Deep down, Brad was just like the rest of us mortals on earth. He wanted love and acceptance. I could give that to him. The best part? He wanted love from me.
After climbing out of bed, I headed into the shower. I felt different, more alive than I had in a long time. I used my phone to turn on the surround-sound speaker system and played some upbeat hip-pop music as I strolled to my closet.
I was feeling fun and flirty and wanted an outfit to reflect that. I danced to the music as I put together a look that made me feel good. As I stood in front of the floor-length mirror, I turned, making sure everything fit as it should. I stopped and took a step forward and really looked at myself. I looked different than I had a month ago. I didn’t look older, but younger. I could practically see the spark in my eyes, something I hadn’t seen for a long time.
As much as I had loved my job, I hadn’t really been happy. I’d been going through the motions. I looked around at my closet and burst into laughter. Helga had her dog and I had my closet. I gave my closet way too much attention. Looked like I really did need a man in my life.
I practically floated into work. The first place I went was Helga’s office.
“Good morning,” I said in a sing-song voice.
She looked up from her desk and grinned. “You talked to him.”
I nodded. “I did. Well, not talked technically, but we did text.”
“Really? I take it by the glow on your face that it went well?”
I smiled and vigorously nodded my head. “I think so. I’m thinking about flying out there and surprising him.”
Helga’s face lit up. “You should do it!” she said, clapping her hands together. “When? When will you go?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought it through. The idea just kind of popped into my head. I’m not sure if he would even want me to show up unannounced,” I said, instantly rethinking my idea.
“Don’t talk yourself out if it. Be spontaneous. By some sexy lingerie and just show up. I think you’ll have your answer about whether he is the man for you by his reaction to your surprise visit,” she said with a twinkle in her eyes.
I nodded. “I’ll see what I can work out. I haven’t checked my schedule for the week, but I think I’ll do it,” I said, feeling daring.
“Clear your damn schedule!” Helga said a little too loudly.
“This is far better than any article you could write. You can work when you get back. A couple days off won’t hurt you. Go. I insist,” she said with a smile.
“I’ll see,” I said, walking out of her office.
The bit about the lingerie was a great idea. I had seen plenty of movies where the woman waited for the man in nothing but a few scraps of lace. I quieted the little part of my brain that tried to warn me, reminding me there was a chance he had a girlfriend in California. But he’d given me a key to his apartment. If he had a girlfriend, would he have done that?
I didn’t think so. When I arrived at my office, I called my assistant, asking her to find a way to give me a few days off the following week. She sounded slightly affronted but quickly got on board when I politely informed her it wasn’t necessarily a request. It was going to happen. By the time we hung up, she promised to have a revised schedule to me by the end of the day.
I hung up feeling satisfied and a little anxious. I was not one to take huge risks. Surprising Brad was a huge risk. I could end up skulking back to New York with a shattered heart. It didn’t matter. I had to know.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Brad
I burst into laughter as I watched Jaxon get swallowed and rolled by a wave. The poor guy was just not good at surfing. We had been hitting the waves together for years. While I continued to get better, he seemed to get worse.
“You okay?” I asked, paddling toward him as I lay flat on my board.
He spat out some water and glared. “Why is this fun? I’m not seeing the fun. I have been slammed into the water at least a hundred times today. I have more sand in my shorts than there is on the ocean floor. I’m going to be chafed, if you know what I mean.”
I chuckled at his misery. “You have no balance. It isn’t n
early as hard as you are making it. You stand up and just ride.”
He climbed onto his board. “Fuck you. I know how to surf.”
“Obviously not,” I said.
“I’ve been up plenty today. I’m just tired. Let’s go. I promised that woman we’d get drinks later,” he said with a grin.
“You better hope she still wants to go out with you after that last run. That was embarrassing to even watch,” I teased.
“Whatever.”
We made our way back to the shore where a small group of women had been watching us. We weren’t the only guys on the water, but when Jaxon had pointed out his Porsche, it had turned the tides in his favor. The younger, far better surfers who were sharing the water with us had lost their chance. I tried to tell Jaxon the women were only after his money, but he didn’t care.
I, on the other hand, was completely content with the relationship Mia and I were nurturing. It was in the early stages, and I knew there was no guarantee she would actually marry me, but there was a chance.
“Let’s grab a drink before we leave,” Jaxon said.
“You just want to hang out and get more numbers,” I shot back.
He winked. “Just making sure I have a few backup plans.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. We’ll get some smoothies. You could use the nutrition.”
He patted his flat stomach. “I’m doing just fine.”
I nodded and patted my own rock-hard stomach. “Not this fine,” I said with a grin.
He rolled his eyes. “You’re such a dick. One of these days, your ego is going to get you into trouble.”
I slapped him on the back. “You know I think you’re a total dreamboat.”
“Get off me and put on your damn shirt. How many times have I told you never to go shirtless around me?”
“I left it in the car.”
“Of course you did.”
We ordered a couple refreshing smoothies and sat at a table with an umbrella. I checked my phone and smiled when I saw a few messages from Mia. I quickly sent her a nasty text back, suggesting a position we hadn’t tried in our brief time together. I knew it would make her blush, and I loved how pretty she was when her cheeks were pink with embarrassment. In the bedroom, the woman had no such hesitations. She was a wildcat. It was when I said the words in the light of day that she got squirrely. I did it on purpose. She knew it and I knew it. I also knew she secretly liked it. The raunchy talk made her wet. She had told me as much even though I’d already known.