by Woods, Karen
Dear Fallon
Please, please reply to me. I’m dead without you. I’ll never give up trying to get you back. I swear Fallon I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life losing you. You might read this letter you might not, but I’m never giving up trying. Please reply to me. Why won’t you just give me the chance? I’ve wrote every week for years. I need closure Fallon, just something from you to say it’s over. Please reply, please.
Love Dalton. xxxxxxx
Fallon held her hand over her heart; it was pumping inside her ribcage getting ready to burst. “It’s from Dalton,” she gasped. Beryl chewed on her bottom lip and went white in the face.
Lesley jumped up from the sofa. “What, your Dalton?” her hands was shaking, she threw the letter to the floor as if it had some fatal disease all over it. Licking her dry lips slowly she dragged her hand through her hair.
“Why’s he doing this to me? It all makes sense now, the flowers at work; the man watching me outside the hospital, it’s him. It’s got to be him. I thought I was going mad, but it’s Dalton.”
Beryl dipped her head, her mouth was moving but no sound was coming out. “Phone the police on the wanker,” Lesley ranted. “He’s a stalker, he should be locked up.” Beryl stood up and disappeared out of the room. Fallon was marching about the front room stressing. Beryl was holding her heart, it was pumping with speed. Sitting on the bed to calm down she shook her head. She sat staring at the wall playing with the cuff on her cardigan, thinking. Slowly she bent down and pulled the carpet up from the edge of the room. Lifting the floorboard up, she sank her hand down underneath the wood and gripped a bundle of letters. Putting them on the bed she stroked her hand over them slowly. Her mind had been tormented by these letters for years and she knew she had to hand them over to her daughter. It was time to come clean. Taking a deep breath she stood up and made her way back downstairs.
Fallon was furious. Lesley had hold of her hands and she was trying to calm her down. “Get off me Lesley. I’m going round to see his Mam. She can shove this letter right up her posh arse. I bet he’s not told his wife about writing to me has he?”
Lesley was consoling her and her own troubles seemed to disappear. “Just calm down, it’s just one letter. Forget about the nob. Don’t waste your breath on him.”
Beryl was back in the room and she placed the bundle of letters on the table near Fallon. “It’s not just one letter love. He’s been writing to you ever since you finished with him. He’s phoned endlessly and,” she blew her breath as her eyes filled up. “Well, I never told you because he’s a twat. He’d hurt you and I never wanted him to do it again.”
Lesley and Fallon sat down. Fallon was gobsmacked, her jaw dropped and her eyes were wide open. She picked up some of the letters and darted her eyes at her mother. “What, all these letters are from Dalton?” Beryl nodded her head slowly. “For fucks sake, this is getting worse by the minute. Are you joking with me or what?” snapped Fallon.
She shot a fierce look at Lesley. “Did you know about the letters too?”
Lesley was up in arms. “Did I fuck; this is a first for me too.”
Beryl sat down and her head sank between her knees, she was a wreck. As she lifted her head up tears were streaming down her face. “I’m sorry, I just thought... Oh I don’t know what I thought. I was just thinking of you. You couldn’t take anymore.”
Fallon sank to her knees, she was crying hysterically. “So, all this time you’ve known he still loved me, yet you left me to deal with it all. I’ve cried and cried for him, mother. Every night for years I thought he didn’t give a toss about me anymore, and you left to me to do that. What were you thinking?”
Beryl was defensive and bolted up from her chair. “I was looking out for you. You’re my flesh and blood. That bastard ripped your heart out. What did you want me to do, welcome him back with open arms?”
Fallon was in her face. “I wanted you to give me the chance to make my own mind up. That’s all I wanted, mother.” The room was silent. Fallon sat down and chewed on the skin at the side of her thumb. Half of her wanted to burn the letters but the other half wanted to read every word he’d written. For crying out loud, she was with John now. She was engaged to be married to him. Her mind was all over the place. Slowly, she gathered all the letters together. As she started to leave the room she twisted her head back over her shoulder. “Mam, I’ll never forgive you for this, never.”
Lesley sighed and went to comfort Beryl who was in floods of tears. “It was a hard decision, love. You did what you thought was right.”
Beryl snivelled and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “I did Lesley. I only thought it was one letter at first, but they kept coming every week. Before I knew it they were piling up. He’s been phoning too you know. I thought we had a stalker for months, but the last time he rang he spoke.”
Lesley’s eyes were wide open. “What, he’s been ringing here too?”
Beryl huffed, “Yeah loads of times. I just thought it was some hoax calls or something at first. In fact to tell you the truth I thought Bob had a bit of a fancy piece, you know, another woman.”
Lesley cupped her face in her hands. “So, what did he say when he finally spoke?”
Beryl lit a cigarette with shaking hands. Inhaling deeply she raised her eyes to the ceiling. “He was crying, he said he loved Fallon and would I tell her to contact him.”
Lesley blew her cheeks out and grabbed her cigs from the sofa. “Well fuck a Duck. This is unbelievable. It’s like something you see on the telly. You need to come clean Beryl, you need to tell her everything,” she looked at her meaningfully. “And I mean everything, she needs to know.”
Fallon sat on her bed just staring at the letters. Bringing one up to her nose she inhaled. A single bulky tear fell down her cheek and her lips quivered. Reaching for her mobile phone she phoned in work and informed them that she was going to be late. Her eyes were red raw underneath and her head was in bits. Once the call was made she sat on the floor and started to read through all the letters Dalton had sent.
Lesley crept up the stairs; she could hear sobbing from inside the bedroom. Her hand slowly pushed the door open and she could see her best friend with her head held between her knees crying. In her hand was a letter. She came and sat beside her. “Are you okay? Well, I know you’re not okay, but you know what I mean.”
Fallon lifted her head up; her mascara was all over her eyes and thick black tears trickled down her cheeks. “He still loves me, Lesley. After all this time he still loves me.”
Lesley held her close to her chest. “He was a fool Fallon. He cheated on you and broke all the promises that he made to you. What did he expect?”
Fallon looked into her eyes and held her hands. “I’m so fucked up. What do I do now? I’m supposed to love John. I’ve said I’ll marry him.”
Lesley spoke slowly and every word seemed to go on forever. “Do what your heart tells you to do Fallon. Only you know how you feel inside.”
The bedroom door creaked open and they both looked at Beryl stood at the door. “I’m sorry Fallon, please don’t hate me.”
Fallon stood to her feet and cradled her mother tightly in her arms. “I was angry Mam. I didn’t mean to say those things.” Beryl now relayed all the information about the phone calls that Dalton had made. She looked like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The secret she’d been hiding for years was now out.
The girls made a pact that no one would tell John about the letters. He was paranoid enough about Dalton and they didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. Fallon placed all the letters into an old shoe box and hid them away under her bed. She decided that she wasn’t going to reply to any of the letters, it was better that way. Tonight when she came home from work she was going to read through them all again, she couldn’t take in what was going on in her life.
Did Dalton really still love her?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Dalton sat in his office at work; he looked in a world
of his own. He looked sad as he gazed out of his small office window. Watching the rain falling outside he listened carefully to the pitter, patter, of the raindrops against the windowpane. He’d never heard a thing back from Fallon and even though he knew he was wasting his time he still kept sending the occasional letter. Tonight was his 25th birthday party. In truth, he wasn’t in the mood for it and told his wife straight he didn’t want any fuss, but she’d ignored him completely and went ahead with his birthday bash. That’s all she’d gone on about for the last few months, Party this, party that, she was doing his head in. Ted was going to be there tonight and they both knew they hated each other without any of them actually saying it. Ted had made Dalton’s life a misery for the last few years and every day he worked for him was hell.
Maria sat on the train heading back to London for her son’s birthday party. She had told Brian point blank that if he was attending she wouldn’t be going, so Brian stayed in Manchester. Maria looked to have aged, her hair looked thin and frizzy and her former dress sense had gone out of the window. Sitting on the train she gazed out of the window in a world of her own. She hated that she was living in poverty.
Kirsty had everything ready. She’d been running about like a blue arsed fly all day to complete her tasks. Connie was staying at her friends for the night and everything was set for Dalton’s celebration. The food was spread across the back wall, it was a banquet fit for a king. Turning the music up slightly, Kirsty checked herself over one last time in the mirror. Turning to the side and breathing in she looked impressed at the fit of her dress. She’d been dieting for months and seemed to have lost a few pounds from around her waistline.
Dalton came into the front room and rubbed his hands together. “You’ve done me proud love.” Walking to the table he picked at the food. “I’m starving.” She ran to his side and slapped at his wrist like a naughty schoolboy.
“Get off it will you. It’s not time yet, wait until the guests arrive.”
Dalton huffed and walked into the hallway. Resting his hand on the banister he shouted upstairs. “Mam, are you ready yet?”
Maria’s head peeped over the top of the banister. “Yeah, just give me a minute will you. My hair is playing up, its keeps frizzing up all over the place.” Dalton trudged back into the front room. He loved having his mother with him she made him feel safe.
The guests started to arrive and Dalton was necking the Brandy back like nobody’s business. Kirsty was clocking him from the corner of her eye and knew he was wrecked. The tunes were pumping inside the house and everyone was dancing, even Maria prised her arse from the sofa for a quick jig. Dalton disappeared to the toilets and snorted a line of cocaine. When he’d finished he walked back into the front room and bounced about as he listened to the music. Ted growled as he watched him, this tosser was making a show of himself. Everyone was whispering about him. Ted saw his opening and pulled Dalton by his arm into the garden away from prying eyes. Maria was watching her son with a concerned face. Ted looked disgusted as he looked his son-in-law up and down.
“Do you know what; my daughter dropped a right bollock when she married you. She could have had so much more, and look what she’s ended up with,” he was waving his hands up and down. “You’re a disgrace.” Dalton stood with a cocky look on his face. Years of frustration seemed to bubble up and he held nothing back from the old man.
As Maria had made her way to the back door, she heard her son speak as he gave Ted both barrels, “Listen Ted; fuck off out of my face. Don’t you come to my house lecturing me on what your daughter could have had,” he rammed his finger into his chest. “I could have had the woman I really loved if it wasn’t for her. She trapped me. You know it and I know it, so fuck off, chatting shit.”
Ted lost the plot and ran at him, his fists were clenched tightly together and he was ready to pummel them into Dalton’s face. “She’s too good for you. Don’t you ever say she trapped you. I provided for your family too. Are you forgetting that? What about your old man robbing me blind for months. I should have known then that your family was nothing but thieving Manchester scumbags.”
Maria gritted her teeth tightly as she looked at all the people who’d gathered behind her watching the commotion. This bastard had just told everyone about her husband. She’d always kept the secret close to her heart, but now the world and his wife knew. Maria was fuming as she felt the stares from the other guests. They were whispering to each other and pointing at her.
“Listen Ted,” she ranted as she sprang to her son’s side. “Keep my husband’s name out of this. And as for my son not being good enough for Mrs Up her own arse over there,” she rammed her fingers towards the patio doors. “Don’t make me fucking laugh. It’s like he said, she trapped him.” The family feud was now on and some home truths were flying about from family to family. The guests huddled together; you could see they loved the entertainment. Ted’s wife Jess now came to join forces with husband.
Dalton stepped forward and looked directly at his wife who was stood nearby. “Go on, tell everyone what a conniving little bitch you really are,” he stood nodding his head slowly as he waited for her to reply.
“Dalton go to bed, you’re pissed,” Kirsty pleaded, “stop making a fool of yourself.”
Dalton stood with a cunning look on his face, pulling his head back he chuckled. It was there on the tip of his tongue; he was going to tell her the truth. Maria came and draped her hand around her son’s shoulder. She could see it in his eyes he was ready to explode. “Come on son, just leave it, they’re not worth it.”
Snarling at his mother he shrugged her arms away. “No mam, it’s time she knew. I’ve lived my life for everyone else, well no more. I’ve tried to keep her happy but it’s over. I’m done. Do you hear me Kirsty, I’m done.”
Kirsty ran to her father’s side and hid her face away in his body. “Dad, tell him to stop, tell him please.”
Ted was just about to speak when Dalton jumped in. “My heart is in Manchester with the girl I’ve never stopped loving. I never loved you Kirsty, I just married you to do the right thing. What a fucking Nesbit I was.” He turned his head to his mother and his eyes were welling up. “You knew mother, you’ve always known I loved Fallon.”
Kirsty covered her ears with her hands and her mother came to her side rubbing her back with a flat palm. “Stop it Dalton, just stop it. Why are you saying things like this? Kirsty is your wife, have some respect.”
Maria stepped in and was ready to defend her son, but Dalton walked into the house and headed upstairs. Ted shot a look at Maria and made sure she heard his every word. “Go on, you fuck off too. Get back to Manchester where you belong, and take that waste of space of a son back with you. Kirsty doesn’t want him anymore so go on; fuck off out of this house.”
Maria could feel her cheeks burning up. You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone was hanging on her every word. “Ted, I wouldn’t stay here if you paid me. Don’t you worry; I’m taking Dalton back to Manchester with me. Do you think he wants to stay here with all you false fucking bastards? Manchester is for real people, what you see is what you get.”
She marched into the house and you could hear her feet pounding up the stairs. Kirsty fell to her knees. “No Dad, don’t let him go. I swear if he leaves me. I’ll never forgive you.”
Maria barged into the bedroom looking for her son. As the door swung open she could see him sat on the bed looking at something in his hand. Slowly, she made her way towards him. “Come on son, we’ll get the next train back to Manchester. I’ve always known you still loved Fallon.” Maria sank onto the bed and dropped her head into her hands sobbing. “It was me and my dreams, son. I just thought we could have had a better life here that’s all. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Dalton unfolded his fingers slowly. Maria wiped her eyes, she was struggling to focus. “What’s that son?”
He swallowed hard, his eyes welled up. “It’s all I have left of her Mam. Fallon has the other half of
it.”
She prised his fingers apart and picked up the silver chain up from his hands. “Do you still love her son? Are you being serious or did you just say that to hurt Kirsty?”
Slowly he shook his head and stared at the floor. “Mother, I have always loved her. I just didn’t know how much until she was gone.”
Cradling him, Maria inhaled deeply. “Right, if that’s the way you feel, let’s go back to Manchester and see if you can win her back,” her face looked distressed as she held his face in her hands. “You do know she’s getting married don’t you?”
Dalton struggled to talk, he swallowed hard and his words seemed trapped in his mouth. “I know Mam, I’ve written to her for years, but she’s never replied. I should just accept that she’s over me, but I can’t…” His hands reached to his head and he yanked at his thick crop of hair. “I can’t get over her Mam, what’s up with me. I think I’m losing the plot.”
Maria made her way to the window. Pulling the blinds back she spoke. “Just look at that shower of bastards out there in the garden, they love it don’t they?” Turning her head slowly she watched Dalton open his wardrobe. He grabbed a black sports bag from under the bed and started filling it with his clothes. Maria held her hand to her chest and tried to calm down; her heart was pumping inside her ribcage. “Right son, I’m going to get my stuff together. If this is what you want, I’ll stand by you.” Maria left him alone.
Dalton searched the drawer near the bed and looked pleased when he found his bankcard. There was no way he was leaving with nothing. He had enough money in his savings to start a new life back in Manchester. Suddenly the door swung open as if a hurricane was behind it. Kirsty ran at the bag he’d packed and grabbed it from the side of him. “You’re going nowhere, you bastard. Don’t think you’re leaving me for some Manchester tart.”
Dalton stood. He was calm, walking to her side he stoked the side of her face. “I’m done Kirsty. You must have known I didn’t love you like I should have?”