“Come on, everyone back in the house. Let’s show Drake the new stuff.” Ryder sounded like his heart ripped apart with every word. God, I hated Drake so much. He didn’t care what anyone had. He just considered everything his.
And there was not much we could do about it.
“Melanie, once you get dressed, I need to see you in the office.” Drake stopped at the door before he went inside. “We need to talk about the arrangements that have been made. A lot of work went into getting you here. You need to hold up your end of the bargain.”
I had only two things to be thankful for that night: seeing Erin again, and that Drake actually had the decency not to deliver my sentence while I was naked in front of a group of people.
Stupidly in our rush to get into the water, we hadn’t thought about bringing towels into the pool area. Erin was far more comfortable going into the kitchen to grab paper towels. It was pathetic, but it got the job done.
The house was way too silent for band practice. No one wanted Drake around. I was willing to bet even Erin would have rathered he didn’t show up. Erin didn’t want this. She hated conflict. She just could never say no to him. Kindness, one of her strengths, was also her weakness.
I made my way to the studio, the hallway longer than ever. Pushing the door open, I saw the band sitting looking at each other in silence. The only one who looked comfortable was Drake.
I hadn’t realized it was possible to hate him even more.
My life, my freedom, was too short and too precious to be filled with such hate. But he held the keys to all of it over my head, just out of reach.
“The Mistress has made the arrangements.” He said matter of factly. “Rachel will be ready for you next week.”
“I hear that the problem will take care of itself.” I crossed my arms across my chest, looking over Drake to Ryder, whose eyes almost burned holes into the back of Drake’s head. The rest of the guys actually looked frightened.
Pussies.
“You’ll take care of the problem, Melanie.” Drake spoke to me like an idiot. “You created it, you’ll fix it.”
“I didn’t do shit!” I yelled. “There are rival vampire clans, one of them did it. It’s the same vampire that poisoned Josiah.”
“Do you realize what a lunatic you sound like right now?” Drake’s words burned. But he was probably right. I did my best to keep from shaking. “You brought those girls to the party. I told Erin not to associate with them—”
“And she just obeys you like a fucking pet.” I spat. “I’m so sick of you treating her like shit. She will do absolutely anything for you, and she has to convince herself she’s not in love with you because you treat her like some fuck toy to play with when your psycho bitch of a wife isn’t around.”
“That’s enough!” Drake raised his voice, his eyes actually glowed red like a demon. He came up off his seat a little when he stopped me. Would he try to do anything to me with everyone watching? He might be the CEO of this little vampire clan, but there was no way he could take on four other vampires and one pissed off human girlfriend.
“You just need to start treating people with respect.” I said softly, as evenly as possible.
“Do you mean you? Erin? The band? Should I get down on my knees and thank you all for living off of my money? Without me, these losers wouldn’t have jobs.”
“Without the rest of the band, you’d be nothing.” I countered. “So what, your lawyers are better than theirs. Big deal. That’s where it ends, Drake.”
“I’ll kill you myself!” He roared, barring his fangs at me. I stepped back without being able to help it. Every muscle in my body tensed. He wouldn’t think twice about attacking me.
“Stop it! Stop it now!” Ryder stood between us. I hadn’t even seen him move. “There’s no reason for any of this.”
“Drake, baby, we should go.” Erin pleaded from behind me. “Please. Don’t fight with Melanie. She didn’t do anything.”
“That’s one opinion.” Drake softened, his mouth closed as his threat lessened. I certainly didn’t relax. “We’ll go. I got my point across. Melanie, you’ll come when the Mistress calls for you. I was going to let you know when, but now you can just wonder.”
A round of applause broke out as the front door slammed. Drake stormed off with Erin reluctantly in tow, and I fell against the door frame of the studio. My whole body shook with rage.
“That was bloody brilliant, lovie. Brilliant!” Thomas exclaimed. “The way you just told him—”
“You mean, the way he told me?” My voice quivered. “He still expects me to kill Rachel. You guys know I’m not crazy, right? There are other vampire clans. Taryn told me so. I’m not crazy.”
The more I said it, the crazier I sounded.
“I know you’re not crazy.” Josiah offered. “One of those bastards tried to kill me.”
“I know!” I exclaimed. I practically wanted to jump up and down and yell ‘I’m right!’ “Why can’t Drake believe this? Why does he think everything is my fault?”
“We’ll take care of it, babe.” Ryder’s voice was soothing, but as he came over to put his arm around me, I shied away from his touch.
“You keep saying that, but you’re not doing anything to take care of it! We’re still in the same predicament we’re always in! You didn’t talk to Catelyn, she ratted me out to the cops, and now Drake wants me to off her friend. I’m sure that will shut her up! And what have you done? Nothing! You’ve played right into his hands at every turn.” I felt bad looking at the shock and hurt on Ryder’s face, but this had been building up inside of me for a while. He reached for me again. I clenched my teeth together. “Don’t touch me.”
The other three guys looked on in almost as much shock as Ryder. I hyperventilated, my eyes brimming with tears. I crossed my arms tightly in front of myself, feeling foolish and still damp from the pool. “I’m just going to let you guys get back to your practice.” My voice was little more than a whisper.
“Babe.” Ryder called to me after I turned on my heel and headed back down the hall. He didn’t follow me when I didn’t turn around and I kept quiet without an answer. Hot tears slipped down my cheeks and I broke into a jog as soon as I was out of sight. I threw myself on my bed, our bed, Ryder’s bed, or should I say Drake’s bed, and buried my head in a pillow and just let the frustration, fear, and anger wash out of me.
I cried until my sobs were little more than dry heaves. I was uncomfortable, wet, and miserable. I didn’t deserve to feel good right now. In a way, Drake was right. It was all my fault in some way or another. I laid there in the dark watching my life on rewind in my consciousness.
Sometime later, I felt Ryder sit on the bed. I flinched when he put his hand on my back, but I didn’t pull away. Neither did he. He rubbed my back for a long time, not saying a word. My body fought relaxation as long as it could, but finally I couldn’t help but succumb.
“I’m sorry.” I finally said, softly, turning my head so I could see his silhouette in the dark room. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”
“If that’s the way you feel, then you should have said them.” His voice was flat, without judgment. “But don’t think I’m not working on this. I do things in my own way. I’m not confrontational. I never have been. But it doesn’t mean I won’t throw a punch when I need to.”
“Are you going to beat Drake up for me?” I giggled a little bit.
“No babe,” Ryder laughed a little too. “I’m just not letting him walk all over me.”
I sighed. “Everything you do appeases him. I’m here only because he wants me to execute a mob style hit on some poor girl. You were going to put off the solo album instead of confronting him. You’re a god damned vampire. Because of him. I’m sorry if it’s harsh. But it’s true. You’ve got to take control of your life, Ryder! He doesn’t appreciate everything you do for him. He’d be nothing without you.”
“I know. And it pisses me off. But I was stupid, and I have no one to b
lame but myself.” Ryder sounded so far away. “When I say I’ll take care of it, I mean it. But I need you to do something for me, too.”
“What?” I sat up, still hugging the pillow.
“I think you need to cut ties with Erin for a little while.”
“What? No. You can’t be serious. She’s been my friend for eleven years. We grew up together. She’s all that’s left of my life before I met you. You can’t ask me to walk away from her. That’s too much.”
I could see the outline of his body tense. “Not forever. Just for a little while. Everything you tell her goes back to Drake. She will pick him over you, every time. When she first started coming to the shows—”
“When she first started going to the shows, she was with me! In high school!” I shrieked. I couldn’t help myself. He didn’t know what he was talking about. This was my friend, my life.
He started again. “When she first started spending time with Drake, she had some other girl with her. She was cute, and hung out with Adam sometimes. But Erin left her in the dust, because Drake told her to. Why? I don’t know, besides he likes to be in control. She only cares about the blood.”
“I’m not some random traveling groupie! Jesus Christ, I spent Christmas at her house while my mom worked! She knows where she stands with Drake. You do the same exact thing with Drake. I bet you’d let him have your blood if he demanded.”
“It doesn’t mean she likes it.” Ryder’s voice was firm, the icy chill of my words hanging in the air between us. “I already told the guys not to bring her back here. You’ve got to back away from her. At least until everything settles down. She’s not helping you. She’s helping Erin.”
My eyes filled with more tears. I knew deep down inside, Ryder was right. Every single thing I told her in confidence had made its way back to Drake, which he promptly used against me. But I didn’t want to believe it. I knew Erin was smarter than this. I wanted to believe her when she said she was just having fun with Drake. But how could she set her emotions aside?
Information on me and Ryder was the only leverage she had with Drake. A smokin’ hot body and barely any inhibitions, too. But at the end of the day, he wasn’t going home to her.
She was selling me down the river. She was no better than Drake or Catelyn. I would never, ever do this to her. I would have done anything to keep her safe.
But I’d disappeared out of her life for the last two years, too. I’d be resentful about that if I was her. I just expected everything to pick up as we’d left off when I was in college, like she was still an assistant manager at the local mall.
We weren’t those girls anymore. We were both harder and hopefully wiser. At least more savvy.
I hated that. I wanted Erin the way I saw her, the way I remembered her. Not what she’d become.
I bet she felt the same way about me.
The tension from that evening never fully dissipated and the wedge it drove between Ryder and me had yet to disappear. Ever since I said all those things I should have never said, he seemed distant, preoccupied. He worked more and more on his music and left me to my own devices.
Was he trying to figure out how to get rid of me? Was he sorry he brought me here?
Why did I have to pick the scab off his weakest spot? His kindness, his trust of others, it was what I loved about him, but I hated it in comparison to Drake.
It made them both ugly.
I had very little to keep me busy. Drake hadn’t kept many books in this house, which didn’t surprise me. I avoided the TV and internet. I didn’t want to know how close the authorities were to closing in on me. Like Drake suggested, I’d rather just wonder. After Ryder took my only friend away, it was all I had to do to occupy my time.
I slept as much as I could while Ryder worked. I often woke up with nightmares, my brain couldn’t shut the anxiety off. The latest one, starring Jamie, made me jump off the bed with a gasp. I knew better than to try to go right back to sleep, my brain needed time to cycle out of it. I got up to walk around for a bit and heard soft, sad acoustic guitar coming from the studio. I went back to the bedroom to grab a blanket off the bed and dragged it with me into the studio, where I curled up on the couch opposite of where Ryder sat to listen to him play.
He looked up at me wide eyed when I came in. “Trouble sleeping again?” He said in a hushed tone.
I nodded. “How did you know?” I hadn’t told him. I wanted him to tell me it was going to be all right, but I wasn’t sure I believed him anymore.
“You’ve been tossing and turning like crazy. Talking in your sleep.” He looked back down at the guitar strings and began picking at them again.
“What did I say?” How horrifying. We couldn’t talk when we were awake. God only knew what my self-conscious would say for itself.
“Not a whole lot that makes sense.” He smiled, only looking up at me with his eyes. “But nothing incriminating, either.”
“No, I say all of that when I’m wide awake.” I sighed.
Ryder set the guitar down and came over to the couch. My heart beat wildly, those jitters you get when you’re first getting to know someone. He wedged himself in between the arm of the couch and my body and wrapped his arms around me.
I hated that we didn’t melt together the way we did before the fight, but he still comforted me. I hated that I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut. I hated that I had to ruin everything good in my life.
“I don’t want you to be anyone but you.” Ryder said, his lips against my hair. “You’ve got to forgive yourself, Melanie.”
“How?” I turned to stare at him, open mouthed. “All the rotten things I said to you? If it wasn’t for you, I’d be in jail right now. I’m probably headed there any day.”
“They’ll never find you here.”
“Ryder, I don’t believe that. I want to, but I can’t. We’re pretty easy to trace. We’re in Drake’s house.”
Ryder shook his head. “The title is in the name of a holding company that is pretty far removed from the band. And I’m leasing it under my real name. Even if the police made their way through every Ricardo Martinez in this city, I legally changed my name to Ryder Maddox thirteen years ago. They’re looking for something that doesn’t exist.”
“I want to think everything’s going to be okay, I really do. But you and I both know better.” I fought back tears.
“I know.” He wiped the tears away from my cheeks as they fell. “Let’s not fight anymore. Let’s just enjoy what we have. Nothing is ever perfect.”
I didn’t have a chance to agree with him before his lips found mine, and his hands slipped under my pajama top. I turned my body towards his, giving myself over to him in apology. The blanket I’d wrapped myself in fell to the floor, along with our clothes as we stretched our bodies out on the couch for our reunion. Things were different, both of us explored each other tentatively, waiting for approval even though there was very little we didn’t know about each other. As exhilarating as it felt, I hated that we both felt we needed to act this way.
I stopped asking for permission as I moved down Ryder’s body to take him in my mouth. His groans resonated through my body, making my nerves tingle and my muscles tighten. When I knew I’d brought him to the brink, I freed myself of him, making him gasp. I straddled his hips and lowered myself down. He pulled the top of my body down on to him, so he entered me completely.
Ryder’s phone rang next to his guitar. Although it was distracting, neither of us did anything about it. It didn’t stop, providing a soundtrack to our dance. I arched my head back and screamed half to drown it out, half to complete the release that had taken hold of my body. Ryder pulled me back in, refusing to stop.
I loved it when he took control.
Both of us lay panting; a sweaty heap once we’d exhausted each other. Ryder put his hand over my chest. “I love the feel of your heart beating.” His words made it race more.
“I love what you do that makes it pound.” I smiled at him, tracing my fing
ers along the outline of his lips. “You’re phone has been going crazy forever.”
Ryder rolled his eyes. “I don’t really care about anybody’s nonsense right now.”
Still he reached for the vibrating phone. “What’s going on?” His face darkened as he listened to the person speak on the other end. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. He looked down at me with an expression I couldn’t read. “All right.” That’s all he said before he put down the phone.
“Get dressed.” He said flatly. “They’re waiting for you.”
My body shook violently with fear and my muscles didn’t work. Ryder guided me back to the bedroom, cleaned me up, and dressed me. I stared straight ahead like a zombie as he brushed my hair and wiped my face with a cool cloth. I felt like I was being embalmed. All the thoughts colliding in my brain short circuited it. I had to remember to breathe.
When Ryder was satisfied with how pretty he made me, he held his hand out to me to help me off the bed.
“You’re really going to bring me there? Just because they snapped their fingers? You’re bringing me to a cage match with a lion.” I wailed.
“It’s not going to get any better if we don’t go willingly. I’ve already learned this lesson the hard way.” Ryder’s voice was even and emotionless.
“You’ve just accepted your fate. Take off your fucking hair shirt, Ryder. You don’t have to be a martyr. None of this has to happen.” I dissolved into sobs.
Ryder picked me up of the bed, still hysterical, and started to carry me out of the room. I beat my fists against him, wriggling as hard as I could. He was just too strong. I screamed like a toddler having a tantrum. He didn’t flinch. I was so mad I could have probably exploded.
“You think I deserve this!” I screamed.
He grabbed my flailing arms with his free hand firmly, and pressed the rest of my body against his so I couldn’t move.
Night Moves (The Night Songs Collection) Page 17