by D A Rice
He looked confused.
Rising from my bed, I said nothing, but Chronos, as always, knew I was awake. “You changed me, Hatter. How did you manage that?” His voice wasn’t mad, merely curious.
I walked over to him, flexing the soreness from my arms. “Imagination meets the Timekeeper.”
“It’s odd. I remember bringing you here, but I don’t remember this…” He touched the mirror in front of him, his eyes ticking. I followed his gaze.
His chest had been sliced open. I’d seen him do this before, to clean the gears that made him tick. He was basically a mechanical god. I’d even helped him replace gears to keep him going.
But when my eyes landed on his chest now, I saw that half of it had turned fleshy. A human heart took up what used to be a fully mechanical organ and what was left of the clockwork was cracked.
“Imagination indeed.” He chuckled at my reaction.
I was speechless for a moment, an eyebrow raising into my hat, which had found its way back onto my head. Chronos must have rescued it before leaving with me.
I tapped my chin. “It’s a good look for you, Time.” I giggled. “I need tea!”
He said nothing for a moment, then moved his hand. Time swirled around him, closing up the wound he’d made in his chest. It was slight, but I caught the grimace he tried to hide. The timekeeper was in an immense amount of pain. He glanced at me, a grin sliding onto his own face as he bowed his head. “I shall leave you to it, Hatter. I must convene with Time.”
I watched him leave, my grin dropping from my face. Chronos had suffered more damage than I’d realized in his attempt to save me. I glanced down at my bound wrists. I needed tea, and I needed it now. I didn’t want a repeat of recent events.
Making my way into the kitchen of the Fortress, I pulled out a pot and a strainer. Then, I dug deep in my pockets to find what I needed: Shadesmint. I didn’t use it often at that time, but I knew it would numb me to myself. I was so much on edge my hands shook as I brewed.
Giggles echoed in my head. I shook it, the palm of my hand slamming against my temple. “Shut up!” The Ravens cawed, and I continued my work. I couldn’t escape their beady eyes, but that wasn’t going to stop me from trying. I could still feel the Nightmares I had consumed, their darkness rushing through my veins like its own drug.
I cracked my neck and poured my tea, savoring it. I shivered, groaning aloud as I leaned over the counter. A grin touched my lips as my eyes cooled. “Now to check on Time.”
I knew I’d find him in the clock tower. Taking my tea with me, I made my way there, my movements dancing around shadows that moved on their own. My mind was disquiet. I could still hear him whispering inside my head, the Ravens doing their best to echo his words, but the tea helped me ignore them all.
“Chronos!” I called in a singsong voice as I twirled my way into the clock tower. Time greeted me gently, brushing against my face. I giggled as I leaned forward, tilting my head to one side catching the golden glow of the sands of Time in my peripheral. “Hello, Time!” I lifted a hand in greeting, letting Time settle gently on my palm for a moment.
I made my way up the rickety stairs, sipping my tea with each step. “Time greets the madman, Time sings a song, Time says to the madman, come along, come along.” I giggled as I stepped onto the platform at the top, then froze.
Chronos lay on the floor, the sands of time moving in quick succession around him. The cup dropped out of my hand as I slid to him in one quick movement, landing on my knees in the dust.
Time glowed bright as I entered it’s embrace. I could feel its panic as much as I felt my own. Hovering over Chronos, both hands on either side of his face, I yelled, “Timekeeper! Wake up!”
His eyes fluttered but would not open. I rocked back, my hands coming to my hair. “No… no.” I looked around in a wild panic, a knife materializing in my hand as I called to mind all he’d taught me. “Gears…” I pried his eyelids open, studying the gears that were his pupils. They twitched, and his body jolted.
I backed away with my hands up. “What… What does he need?” This last question I directed to Time itself. It fluctuated, then glowed around Chronos’s chest and temple. Without a thought, I snapped my knife into his chest and pried it open. The gears were jammed. I took them out one at a time, cleaning fluid off as I inspected them.
The cracks I’d seen earlier were stalling everything else. I glanced back to his chest, trying to think of how to fix this.
I touched the gear in my hand, grazing it with my finger. “I can imagine it whole… will that work?”
Time touched my temple. Not without dire consequences. His memory might be altered beyond even what I can fix.
I smiled. “A risk. I broke him.” I placed my palm flat against the gear, my eyes closing. “I fix him.” My imagination pushed against the clockwork, mending it to my specifications. What was broken, I made whole with my mind. It wasn’t my best work, but it would do.
I glanced at Time with a grin. “I assume you already know this, but I’m probably the only one who can fix him if this breaks again.” I replaced the gears, taking my time to rotate them and make sure they would work with his new heart. I had to reshape at least two, but when I was done, Chronos jolted, then reset. I closed his chest, letting Time heal him once again.
I brushed the dust off and stood. “I’ll only get worse…” I studied my wrists again, feeling the darkness echo in my skull. I didn’t know who I was, I never had, but I could feel the rot decaying me from the inside out, the insanity that circled in my brain. I was going to be witness to it all, hidden within myself. I had to leave. I could risk anyone to my madness, but not him. Not the Timekeeper.
Chronos exhaled behind me without waking, and I relaxed. He was going to be okay. I glanced at Time over my shoulder. “Tell bye to the Timekeeper, Time!” I giggled, then I jumped off the platform and ran.
Interlude
The ground shakes beneath us as the shadows that have latched onto me rip it into pieces from beneath. This world is ending. It splits apart as seams crack into the dirt that’s left from so much death. Nothing grows here, and nothing ever will again.
Giggles bubble up within me and Little C’s grip on my temple tightens. Light pulses around us as he tries to balance the darkness that’s taken over.
I raise my hands, my head bowed as my hat tips over my forehead. A dark grin slides up my face as tendrils of shadow lash out, destroying what’s left of this place. It collapses in on itself. Almost there, I warn the child on my back.
We’ll have to make a quick exit if we don’t want to get caught up in the implosion that’s about to occur. I’m laughing as I begin to tremble with the weight of my darkness. It’s eating me alive, but I enjoy the sensation. Little C can get me back to the Time Fortress, but if Emma isn’t there when we get there, I may have a bigger problem on my hands than I bargained for.
I’m enjoying this destruction far too much.
Loud cracks and snaps echo around us, leaving a ringing in my ears almost as painful as the growing burn in my eyes. I bring my hands in with great difficulty. The shadows want to keep us here, they want to consume this place. It’s almost as if they remember the valley as well as I do.
I wouldn’t be surprised. The Nightmares we destroyed saturate the ground here.
“Little C,” I grind out between my clenched jaws, the grin on my face spreading in a manic way. “I need to borrow some Time.”
Power pulses around us. I see the golden light mixed with blue, and for a moment, I am calmed as his light touches my darkness. Memories of Chronos circle my head as Little C builds a Time bubble around us, his hands moving from my temple to around my neck and clasping.
An explosion rocks me to my knees. I laugh. Time is telling us we need to leave, or we will die here.
Little C’s grip tightens, gold exploding from his intertwined hands. The shadows rip out of me with a jolt I feel to my soul. I exhale, the burn in my eyes leaving almost immediat
ely. Something brushes against my cheek; I recognize the touch.
I am with you. It’s the voice of Big Brother. My head snaps up as Little C’s light consumes us. I see him there, a silhouette of who Chronos used to be. Tears brim in my eyes, my jaw snapping closed. He smiles, then he is gone.
And in the next moment, so are we.
8
I’d destroyed everything in my hat shop upon entering. The butterflies were more like Nightmares by the time I was done, shadowed silhouettes with tendrils leaking off of them, almost like smoke. They were the monsters in my mind I couldn't escape. Every hat I’d had on display rotted within seconds as my emotions broiled, bubbling over.
I’d broken the timekeeper, made him half human. I couldn’t risk breaking him more, not if he was going to be stupid enough to put everything on the line for my sanity.
Nothing could take the madness away. That’s what I believed.
But I also knew Chronos well enough by then to recognize that he would try until he wasted away, morphing into someone new as he did. My imagination changed things, and when his power collided with mine, that’s exactly what I’d done. I remembered it then, but as the madness ate away at me, I'd forgotten what I'd done.
Darkness eclipsed the shop again, my eyes burning with the rage I felt. The Ravens were knocking, demanding entrance into my chaotic mind. They wanted to take over for a while, to lock me away so that I could watch what they did.
My fists slammed the table in front of me as I yelled in incoherent screeches. My mind was a battlefield. I had nothing left to fight for. I’d given up those rights when I’d left the timekeeper behind. He was better off without me, but I would be worse without him.
I would take that sacrifice.
My head snapped up as a grin spread across my face. My eyes burned, and so did my wrists. Whatever Chronos had done to me seemed to be able to gauge just how in control I was. It seemed to tell me in varying levels of pain just how close to the surface the Ravens were. I laughed, collapsing to the floor in hysteric giggles.
I could do nothing to stop him, but at least I’d know when he was knocking. At least I’d know, now, what I’d do. I’d always wanted to be part of the game, now I was. I no longer had to guess what the manic was up to. I’d always know.
That was Chronos’s gift to me.
I laughed harder, the Ravens cawing in my head as the darkness encroached. My tattoos were blistering again. I could feel them changing, blooming, as my madness bloomed within me. “Painting the roses red,” I sang in between giggles, “I’ll be painting the roses red!”
“Roses?” Someone said in front of me. My head snapped up, the laughter dying instantly.
I tilted my head, like a predator analyzing its prey. There was a girl there, leaning over one of my counters to study the decaying hats. She couldn’t have been much past her teen years, if I had to guess. A smile grew on my face. “And whoooo are you?”
She eyed me, her blue eyes shining in amusement. She had ash blonde hair, pulled back in pigtails, and roses of her own on her neck. She leaned back, her hands clasping behind her. She had on a small dress with a black and white checkerboard pattern and blue shorts. Her grin matched my own as she met my gaze, completely unafraid of the coiled snake before her.
Both sides of me were intrigued by this woman, and I found myself rising fluidly off the floor. She raised an eyebrow at me. I smiled, coming closer, a hand reaching out to twirl her hair.
“’Curiouser, and curiouser’ said Alice to the Hatter.” Her accented voice was a challenge.
I laughed again, dancing back, both hands up in a shrug. “Then I shall call you Alice!”
“Even if that’s not my name?” She smiled, crossing her legs at the ankle. Her shoes were flat, but came up to her ankles. One was blue, one was red.
I leaned toward her, clasping my hands behind my back. My eyes burned as the manic side of me took over, grinning wickedly. “Especially then.”
“Then I shall call you Jojo, for you are bizarre indeed.” She flicked my nose, and my eyes widened in surprise.
I giggled, clapping my hands once. “Oh! I like you!” I twirled around the shop, a teacup appearing in my hand as my eyes cooled once more. “Care for some tea, Alice?” I held out the cup, mischief entering my eyes.
She took one step forward. “For as long as I’m here, Jojo, I shall drink to your mischief.” She took the cup from my hands. “Now… what were you saying about roses?” Her head tilted and she took a sip.
Interlude
We drop into the Fortress of Time foyer with a loud clunk.
A yelp follows, alerting me to the fact that Emma is indeed back. Little C is on my back, straddling my waist. I am spread upon the floor, face-first. I let out a groan as Emma hurries over, pulling Little C off me, and kneeling down to his level.
“Are you okay?” She asks him.
I lift my head to my hands, letting it rest within them. I raise an eyebrow at her, but she ignores me. She hates it when I take Little C out of the Fortress of Time. I glance at the robot nearby, who hums as if to say ‘what would you have me do?’ I shake my head with a sigh. “Fat load of help you are, Robot.”
Emma turns on me. “Where the hell have you been?”
I yawn as Little C tugs on Emma’s sleeve. “We needed to visit somewhere close to Uncle Ren,” he says, his eyes glowing blue. He’s showing her something I can’t see, so I don’t interrupt.
“I see,” she says finally, calmer. “Part of your own grieving process, I suppose.”
I pull myself up into a sitting position, the playful grin dropping from my face. I know it’s probably time for us to talk about some things, but I’m not good at this. It’s been established that I don’t know how to help anyone. Not even myself.
“I felt something crumbling outside of Time, but was told not to worry about it…” She gives me an inquiring look and I shrug, the grin returning.
Little C sways for a moment, then turns to me. “Big Brother told me I need to tell you something, Uncle, but please, don’t be mad.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “I’m already mad, little one.” I giggle, rocking back on my butt, my hands clasping my feet.
Little C paces up to me, placing a hand on my cheek. I still. He shows me what he needs to. I see the shadow that Chronos exhaled after I tried to suffocate him with my Nightmares in the valley. I see it drift away. My brow furrows as it escapes the world without Time, finding its way into another.
Then it begins to consume.
I jolt back into myself, moments hovering all around me I hadn’t seen before. They are shining, moving, and full of fear. I reach out a hand, touching one with my fingers.
Emma looks around her, eyes wide. “What is going on?”
“Odd moments,” I say softly, letting one spin in the air. “Something consuming, a monster made of Nightmares.” I shiver, then look at Little C, my hand over his. “How long have you known?”
He looks down, regret filling his eyes. “I didn’t want to bother you, not with you so fresh in your wounds.”
Emma kneels down again, her hand caressing Little C’s sandy hair. “Oh Chronos, you should have told us. This is not a burden you should have had to carry on your own.”
I feel her sadness; it mirrors my own. I’ve been so consumed, so selfish. I could see why Little C didn’t want to tell me. Emma dealt with her sadness by being Timekeeper in Chronos’s place. I dealt with mine by drinking far too much tea and letting my violent side out more than I should.
I stand, clapping my hands once. “Right, we have work to do.”
I walk away, flicking my fingers at the hovering red stars around me to follow. Emma and Little C glance at each other, then trail after us.
I don’t let them see the smile that touches my lips. I’ll make this right with both of them. We will fix what has been broken.
9
I was twirling around my hat shop, humming to myself, the butterflies busy about their wor
k. He didn’t come through the front door, but I’d expect nothing less from the Timekeeper.
The only way I’d known he’d come at all was by how silent it got. I noted next the golden sands of Time that swirled gently about, as if inspecting my work for themselves. A grin spread across my face, but I didn’t turn to Chronos, didn’t greet him either.
For all he knew, I’d left without an explanation because I was upset about what'd happened in the valley. Time itself had told me he would remember little else. I needed to find out how much he knew before I said anything. Then I had to work those fragments to my own purposes.
The Ravens cawed in my head, the manic part of me laughing with them. They hated the Timekeeper, but they didn’t fight his presence. I’d all but given them the right to take over whenever they wanted again. It was too much work to fight them, and I found myself having the most fun I’d had in ages simply by losing control.
Chronos picked up a small golden hat behind me, his eyes ticking as he made assessments. I’d always known I was an oddity to him, with my varied timelines he could never quite pin down. I never knew which one I was going to seize either.
“Hatter,” the Timekeeper finally spoke, voice quiet and calm. I raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ve come to see how you are doing. It has been a while since I saw you last… and I know things did not end well.”
I straightened as I watched him, my smile deepening. “Tick tock goes the clock, insanity, knows he not.” I laughed, rapping my fingers on Chronos's temple as I twirled around him.
“Indeed,” He said quietly to himself, setting the hat in his hands down. He met my gaze. “Your timelines have only become more erratic.” He rubbed his brow, his look almost confused. “I remember finding you in the valley. I believe you were alone, or I remember bringing you back alone…” The electric blue light in his eyes shorted out as he tried to remember more, then shook his head. “I remember the Nightmares, but when I try to look beyond that timeline, it gets confusing.”