“You’re tired. You should sleep,” Soren said, and stood up.
Suddenly things felt even more awkward. “Um, are you leaving?” I asked him.
He shifted uncomfortably. “I was thinking about it. Do you want me to stay?”
“Do you want to go?” I answered with my own question.
He wrinkled his brow. “I honestly don’t know.”
I stood up in front of him. “This is silly. They aren’t back yet, and they might not even come back. We’re not strangers, Soren. We love each other, and we’re in the same boat here.”
He half laughed and closed the distance between us. He leaned in and kissed me, gently, and deeply. He held me tightly, and we went to bed.
We made love that night: mad, passionate love, like two people who might never touch each other again. And as much as we had loved each other, there was no denying that a part of each of us was hoping that was exactly the case.
Soren was already out digging when I woke up after our time together. I was trying hard to believe that I was only imagining these feelings of finality between us, and that things weren’t really over. Endings are painful, even when you have something else to look forward to.
I saw him working as I left my house, and for the first time in ages, I didn’t go speak to him as I headed towards the city. To my surprise, I saw Margaret leaving Billy’s house. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and was heading in the same direction as me. Not being in the mood to chat with her, I just quickened my pace and looked straight ahead. I picked up enough distance ahead of her that it didn’t come across as rude.
As the scenery changed from brown-and-gray to gray-on-gray, I tried to pinpoint my emotions. My chest—my heart—felt… hollow. I wasn’t truly sad, even though I knew this was a feeling of loss. And although I knew that Raphael might be coming back to me, I couldn’t bring myself to feel excited or happy about it because too much was still unknown. Right now, everything was unknown.
I started to head into the coffee shop: the one place where things were always the same, and I knew exactly what I wanted every time. But first I decided to pop into the boutique to see if Andreas or Grace wanted anything.
I walked inside and heard laughter. Grace was pulling clothes out of boxes and Andreas was hanging them on wooden hangers. They were giggling and whispering as they worked. It made me smile immediately to hear them.
“Hey, you two,” I announced as I walked their direction. I was met with two big, fangy grins, and Grace ran over to hug me.
“How are you? How did everything go?” Grace asked me in a very obvious hushed tone.
Andreas tiptoed over and leaned in. “Yes, how did Soren handle the news about his wife?” he asked, and failed at sounding anything besides selfishly interested.
I glared at Grace. “You had to tell him?” I pointed over my shoulder at Andreas.
“Sorry, we just spend a lot of time together, and I was worried about you.” Grace looked down at her feet.
Andreas widened his eyes and made hurry up motion with his hand. I sighed.
“It went. I told him, he was shocked. We don’t really know what to expect next. But things definitely feel awkward now,” I said.
Grace made a sad face and touched my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Andreas admired his reflection in a mirror behind a clothing rack. “I don’t see why things have to change. You could all just be happy together. This seems like drama for no good reason.”
“You love drama,” I said blandly.
“Indeed I do, if it inspires passion or something entertaining. This seems like a decision that will just leave everyone unhappy.”
“Yes, but sharing wouldn’t feel good either. I don’t want to share Soren, and I certainly wouldn’t want to share Raphael.”
Andreas adjusted the collar on his shirt. “Well then, you’re fucked.”
I turned back to Grace. “Did you and Boude get all of those files to Thaddeus?”
She nodded, “Yep, he was still upstairs when we went to find him. He said he would deliver them straight to the queen and that they would be in touch.”
“Good, thank you,” I smiled at her.
Grace went back to unboxing clothes. She pulled out a very short royal blue dress that was about four inches wide as she held it up, obviously a very stretchy material. “Ooh,” she cooed, “I’m so keeping this one.”
“Tramp,” Andreas teased. “That will look fantastic on you.”
“How is Jeremy?” I asked Andreas.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I sent him home after sex this time. He’s a bit too clingy. A man does like a good chase now and then.”
Andreas was exhausting. “I thought you liked that he fell all over himself around you?” I made it a question.
“Can’t I have both?”
I started to argue, but thought better of it, and just walked over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “I hope you get that someday.”
My reaction caught him off guard; he had been looking for a playful fight. He couldn’t hide the surprise that crossed his face, and he returned the kiss, this time on my cheek.
Grace stepped into the back and returned with her bag. “I’m heading out. I’ve got to meet Boude,” she said, directed more at Andreas than me.
“Want to grab a coffee with me on the way?” I asked.
“I’d love to, but I’m running behind. We’re going hunting,” she smiled.
“Oh, gotcha,” I laughed. “I won’t stand in the way of lunch.” I waved as she headed out the door.
“I’d like a coffee,” said Andreas.
“Sure, what would you like?” I asked, expecting him to rattle off some ridiculously complicated order that I would dread asking the barista for.
“Just a black coffee,” he replied.
Relieved, I headed over to the coffee shop and placed our orders. I was only slightly caught off guard to look to my right and see Thaddeus standing beside me.
“We are preparing for our journeys. Are you going to take on the role she has requested?” he asked me.
“Hello to you too,” I said. “Yes, I’ve decided I will sit-in for Her while you both are away.”
“Very good,” Thaddeus replied and adjusted his tie, his face remaining stoic.
“When should I come to discuss details?”
“As soon as possible, and come ready to stay, if that’s your choice. The Queen is anxious to be on her way.”
I thought for a moment: I would have to talk to Soren and Billy and pack up my clothes. As awkward as things were between Soren and me right now, staying in the palace sounded good. “I can be there in a few hours.”
Thaddeus nodded and left.
I took Andreas his coffee and stammered around, trying to decide if I should tell him about my newest turn of events. He would find out eventually of course, but I decided not to tell him immediately. He would be way too excited, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with all the questions he was going to ask when he found out.
Once I was back in the fields I shared my news with Soren and Billy. Billy hugged me more tightly than I expected, and I had to reassure him multiple times that this wouldn’t be a permanent arrangement. I would most certainly be back
Soren, on the other hand, looked almost relieved that I was leaving. His expression caused a pinching feeling in my heart, but I understood. He kindly offered to help me pack, but I declined.
I headed into the house to gather my clothes and books, and looked around the small space, remembering the first time I had ever walked inside. I remembered falling to the floor in desperate screams and sobs of sheer agony, and how Soren forced me to pick myself up. So much had happened since then—awful things, and beautiful things. I was ready for this break: to be somewhere new for a while. A palace wasn’t a bad place to start.
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WILLIE E. DALTON is a full-time writer at her home in Duffield, Va. She is the author of Three Witches in a Small Town, The Dark Side of the Woods, and The Gravedigger series. When she is isn’t writing, Willie is an active volunteer for the local cat rescue “Appalachian Feline Friends.”
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