“Erm… Come in a minute.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him in the hall; I quickly locked the door again and pulled him up the stairs to my room. I locked my door just in case my parents came back and leaned up against it looking at him as he sat down on the end of my bed, not knowing what to say.
He gazed around my room, his eyes taking in all of the photographs and paintings that lined my walls and shelves; some landscapes from walks with my Uncle Austin and the rest, portraits of my family and friends. “Did you do all of these?”
“Yup.” I said with the ‘p’ popping on my lips; my back still pinned to my bedroom door. He stood up to get a closer look at one of my paintings that was hanging opposite my bed. It was a picture of a hallway; the focus, although slightly blurred was a figure of a man dressed in dark blue with his back to the viewer, his left hand tucked into his pocket, his right hand free by his side as he walked. The walls of the hallway were cream coloured, the floor black, blurred figures surrounded the man, pressed to the walls like a parting tide as he walked between them. It was a view I had seen daily for the last six years; a view of Jamie. My heart was in my throat as he continued to stare at it, his gaze moving to the date in the corner. I’d painted it two years ago.
He turned to face me with a glazed look in his eyes; his mouth opened as if to say something. He closed it again as his eyes came back into focus, landing on me. “That’s what you sleep in?” I looked down at my little black, silk camisole and tiny matching shorts, biting the inside of my cheek as a blush swiftly swept over the outside.
“Erm… Yes, why? Is there something wrong with my pyjamas?” I frowned at him, flushing more as his gaze raked over my body.
“No” he breathed a ragged sigh and sat back down. “I just wish there was more to them right now as I’m having a hard time staying over here and keeping my hands to myself.” he knitted his fingers together in a tight grip, making the tips of his fingers turn white and chuckled. Don’t. Don’t stay over there. Don’t keep your hands to yourself.
“You’ve seen less” I reminded him, smiling shyly with my cheeks now burning furiously.
“That was different, this is in person.” he looked me up and down again, the look in his eyes was like that of a man dying of thirst in the desert and I was a cool, pool of water. An ache developed between my legs, heat pooling for him, I wanted him so badly… but we couldn’t; at least not until I finished school. Why was I insisting on this again? “So why is that little shit saying things about us?” He said pulling me from my tortured thoughts. I went and sat down at the pillow end of my bed, away from him so I could resist touching him.
“He’s my ex-boyfriend.” I admitted quietly.
“Ok? That doesn’t mean he can go around spreading rumours.”
“Because he knows that… I like you.” Was it possible to spontaneously combust from the heat radiating from your cheeks? I fiddled nervously with the duvet cover beneath my folded legs. “I wouldn’t have sex with him and he thought that was why… because we are…” I gestured between the two of us not being able to say it out loud. He nodded his understanding. “He hasn’t contacted me, but I think he will try to blackmail me into it with this.” I looked down as tears began to form in my eyes. Jamie and I would get in so much trouble if all of this came out and I couldn’t stand for it to happen.
“You think he’ll blackmail you? Into… sleeping with him?” He moved closer to me as a strangled sob escaped from my throat. I crashed my hands against my face to hide the tears that were about to start pouring down my face and Jamie wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. “Shhh… Don’t worry, Angel it will all be ok. Shhh” he started running his hands up and down my back trying to soothe me, but I was so exhausted from my severe lack of sleep that I couldn’t stop.
His hands went to my hair and held my head to pull me back. “I will not let him break us apart before we even have a chance to start anything, do you hear me?” I nodded weakly, looking up at him through blurry eyes as his thumbs brushed away the tears on my cheeks. “I really like you Olivia and I can’t wait for the next few weeks to be out of the way because I want to be with you.”
I never said anything; I didn’t have any words that would convey exactly how much I wanted him. I lifted my hands up to his hair pulling him towards me to kiss him. I didn’t hold back with my kiss; I felt hungry for more of him, I knelt up beside him so I could kiss him deeper. Jamie let go of my head slowly running his hands down my back, massaging as he went.
Finally his hands got to my rear, lifting me over to his lap so I could straddle him. I could feel how exited he was already through his jeans and pressed against him making him moan into my mouth, I kept moving against him wishing that his jeans were off. He started trailing kisses down to my neck, staying at the spot I loved just under my ear making me moan with him. I started to feel nervous about the signals I was giving him with my body and shifted back away from him a little, resisting the urge to press against him again. I felt my stomach flip with nerves.
“Jamie” I whispered.
“Mmm… I love it when you say my name like that.” He mumbled into my neck, his hands pulling me roughly against his crotch.
“No, Jamie…”
“What?”
“We can’t” I said as I pulled him closer, loving the feeling of his lips on my skin again.
“I think you want to” he said so low and sounding so sexy.
“I do… But my parents will be home soon… And we have to wait… ‘til I finish school”
“But they aren’t here yet. No one will know, I want you so badly, Olivia” he whispered in my ear as he pulled my hips closer to his again, making his erection rub against me in the most delicious way causing me to shiver. “Your body is screaming yes… why is your mouth saying no?”
“Jamie I want you too, I really do, but I can’t have sex with you. Not here, Not now. Please.”
“Ok, but please let me stay and just kiss you.”
“Ok. Just kissing, I can do that. You promise me?”
“Mm hmm” he mumbled against my neck.
“Jamie?”
“Huh?
“Promise?”
“Ok, ok” He said distractedly and resumed planting kisses along my neck and down the curve of my shoulder.
I pulled him back up to face me so I could look into his eyes. He crashed his lips in to mine, before picking me up off the bed, turning around and laying me down with him on top of me. I couldn’t help but wrap my legs around his waist pulling him closer to me, loving the way his trousers rubbed against me again.
His right hand made its way around to my waist, then to my stomach, rubbing circles with his thumb, moving slowly upwards. He stopped moving up just as his thumb started to brush against my breast and pulled away from our kiss, looking at me to ask for permission to carry on. I pushed the sick feeling rising in my throat… This is not the same! This is not the same!
I nodded and he slowly began to kiss me again as his hand moved up higher. His thumb still tracing small circles over my skin finally found my nipple, he began kissing down my neck, making his way to the soft swell of my breasts. He kissed down over my camisole to the hem, gripping it in his teeth to pull it up, freeing my breasts from inside.
He lifted his left hand to my right nipple and began tracing circles with his thumb again; then with his right hand he started moving downwards, replacing his thumb with his lips over my nipple. He kissed around the hardened bud before taking it in his mouth, sucking and licking making me moan and my back arch up from the bed pushing up in to him. I felt all of my insides tighten like everything was linked together. What the hell is happening? My whole body was filled with an alien feeling. If not having sex can feel so good… What would having sex actually feel like?
“Jamie…” I wanted him to stop. I wanted him to carry on. I wanted the strange feeling to go away and last forever all at the same time.
“Shhh” I moaned again feeling his
breath blow over my wet nipple. He began trailing kisses again this time to my other nipple where he continued sucking and licking. His hand which was still moving south was now at the top of my shorts, his finger playing with my waistband.
“Jamie, you said we could wait!” I panted, my breath coming out short and fast in my anticipation of what was building inside me.
“We can, we are”
“This doesn’t feel like waiting”
“You want me to stop?” He asked seductively and started kissing up to my neck again.
“No… Yes… Ahh no…” He chuckled at me.
“Do you want me to stop, Olivia?” I shook my head no. “But you don’t want me to make love to you?” Making love! Those two words, the way he said them… I bit my lip as I thought. I felt so torn.
“I don’t want you to stop what you are doing, but I want to wait. We need to wait. Is that ok?” I had to stick to that, I didn’t want my first time here, in fear that my parents would be home any second.
“Of course it is.” He pecked a kiss on my lips. “I don’t want to do anything you aren’t ready to do. If I do something you don’t want me to, just tell me, ok? I just want to be here with you; I promise we can wait to make love.” Those words again. I nodded nervously and he began kissing me again. He hooked a finger in the top of my shorts at my hip and began to slowly pull them down to sit diagonally on me; he moved his finger along the waistband to my other hip and pulled down taking my shorts down my legs. He gripped behind my knee and pulled it upwards, then laid it sideways so my legs were wide completely exposing me to him. The cool air tickling my heated, wet core.
He started tracing circles again up my leg. I felt sick, my breath hitched in my throat and I had to swallow hard. It’s not the same… I’m ok. This is Jamie… Mr Matthews! You want this! I had to keep reminding myself.
I ran my hands down from his hair to his shoulders and down his back; I found the hem of his t-shirt and began to pull it up over his head. I ran my hands down his chest and stomach, around his waist to his back again, I felt him shiver as I ran my nails gently up and down the length of his back. His hand had finally reached the top of my thigh. I felt like I was on fire with need to feel him inside me. I’d never allowed anyone touch me there and I’d never wanted it to happen so much before. I was always shying away from any physical contact that went further than kissing; now I was craving it, aching for it.
“Jamie… Please…” I pleaded; I needed to feel his hand on me. His thumb brushed up and down the entrance of my sex, before finding my clit rubbing circles over it. My back arched off the bed and I cried out his name again; he slowly slipped a finger inside me making me moan as he withdrew it to push in again and again, it was too slow.
“You are so wet” Jamie whispered in my ear.
“Jamie… Faster.” He did as I asked and I started to moan louder as I could feel my insides begin to tighten around his finger. He suddenly stopped as he looked to the door. “Jamie?”
“Shh…” He kept his finger inside me, looking down at me a little worried.
“Jamie, what’s wrong?” What did I do? Did I do something wrong?
“I think your parents are home, you need to be quiet” he whispered.
“The light! They’ll know I’m up if it’s on” he quickly leaned over and turned the light off beside my bed before placing his hand back to me; he inserted two fingers inside of me and I tried to hold in my moan unsuccessfully.
“Baby, you need to be quiet” He whispered in my ear. His thumb found my bud again and I crashed one of my hands over my mouth to silence myself, I could feel him holding in his laughter.
“This is so not funny! Faster” I told him through my fingers and he obliged. I pushed my hips up into his hand matching his rhythm; I could feel my insides tighten again, begging for more. My whole body felt filled with tension just dying to be released. “Jamie, please!” I whispered in his ear. I didn’t know what I was begging for, but I desperately wanted whatever it was he was offering. He moved his thumb faster against me as his two fingers sped up inside me. “Oh God, Jamie” I whispered. Both of our heads whipped towards the door as we heard my parents coming up the stairs to bed. NO! Not now!
“Shh” he whispered in my ear as his fingers moved faster again. His other hand flew to my mouth reminding me to be quiet. I wrapped my arms around his back, I could feel tingles running through my legs and low in my stomach, building into an extraordinary feeling. My insides began to quiver, my whole body felt like it wanted to vibrate.
My whole body felt loose and free, like a roller coaster over the first edge when it falls; I bit down on his hand to keep myself from crying out as my parents walked by my bedroom door. My eyes were shut tight from all the effort of trying to hold still, not scream and the mix of all the pleasure coursing through me. My body relaxed like a tide settling after a storm, my bones like the lazy receding water. I opened my eyes. What the hell was that? I wanted to feel it again! I let out the breath that I didn’t realise I was holding.
“Oww, Liv!” I let go of his hand that I was still biting and chuckled.
“I’m so sorry!” I whispered to him, as I took his hand and gave it a kiss better.
“It’s ok, but oh my God, use a pillow next time!” he said as he shook out his hand. NEXT TIME!
“I’ll try to remember that.” I blushed.
“Trust me, I’ll remember to keep one handy” he laughed quietly as he removed his fingers from inside of me, inserting them into his mouth, licking the taste of me from them. My eyes opened wide in shock, but he just winked at me, sighing like he enjoyed it. “Your parents can sure as hell pick their moments!” I looked at the door. “Don’t worry; I don’t think they heard you.” I lifted my hand to my chest, it felt like my heart was about to lift itself right out.
“My heart is pounding! I don’t know if it’s from how crazy you make me feel or from almost getting caught in bed with my teacher, by my parents!” I smiled and fixed my camisole so I felt less exposed.
“I’m going to go with how crazy I make you.” I smiled and pulled him down to kiss me. “You are so beautiful” He murmured as he brushed a piece of hair from my face. “You are perfect.”
I pushed him off of me to the other side of the bed and sat up to straddle him again. I traced my fingers from his face, down his neck, over the soft dark hairs of his chest and leaned forward to kiss him again.
“No, you are perfect.” I whispered against his lips. I did as he did earlier, trailing kisses down his neck. I loved the feel of his shiver as I ran my hands up and down his chest, replacing where my hands were with kisses. I smiled as I reached his belly button, below it was a small trail of dark hair that led underneath his jeans; I sat up running my fingers up and down it loving the way it tickled my fingertips. I shuffled down to the end of the bed to remove his shoes and socks, quietly placing them on the floor; I moved back up to undo his belt. I leaned down to kiss his stomach again with the first pop of his buttons, then the second, the third and finally the fourth.
He lifted a little for me to pull his jeans down and I tried to take them off as slowly as I could, so I didn’t give away how eager I was. He let out a huge breathy sigh as I freed his erection from his jeans. Oh God… What the hell am I doing? After taking his jeans off, I kissed my way back up his left leg. When I reached the top, I hooked my fingers in the waistband of his boxers like he did with my shorts and pulled them down. I threw them on to the pile of his clothes. Holy shit! Mr Matthews… naked on my bed! My bed!
I looked down at his body, he was so toned, his chest, his arms, holy hell… his subtle abs. He was lucky I wasn’t melting into a puddle on top of him. I started trailing kisses up his right leg, but I didn’t stop this time. I got to the base of his cock and dotted kisses all the way to the tip. A little bead sat there that I licked away; I wanted to taste more of him. I licked around the tip again before slipping him inside my mouth and gently sucking.
I started to
move my mouth up and down the length of him, feeling the soft ripples of his veins all the way down his smooth skin, blood coursing through him for me. All for me. He sighed again and moved his hands to my hair, gathering it close to my ear and twisted the long length around his fist pulling it out of my way for me. I ran my hands up his thighs and used one to help me where my mouth couldn’t reach. He let out a low groan and I felt his fist tighten in the length of my hair. His breathing gradually became shallower, he was gripping my hair just enough to not be sore.
“Oh god… Liv. Olivia, I’m gonna come if you don’t stop, baby” he whispered. I was shocked with myself that I actually wanted him to. “Liv you need to stop now if you don’t want me to come.”
I carried on and moved faster on him, I wanted to feel him come apart in my mouth, I wanted to taste him. I wanted this act to be mine. All mine. I wanted this more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life as I blocked out every other thought that wasn’t Jamie.
He moaned quietly as I felt him release into my mouth, it was so warm, I quickly swallowed before I had more time to think about it. I swallowed again and again as his grip on my hair relaxed. I slowly released him from my mouth, licking the tip and giggling as he bucked from the bed, he was so sensitive. I planted one last kiss there before going to lie up on the pillow beside him.
“Oh my God, Olivia that was… Amazing” I smiled shyly looking up at him through my lashes.
“Really?” I asked him coyly, chewing on the side of my lip.
“Yes!”
Broken Ever After Page 6