The memory of this moment would stay with him for the rest of his life. His determination to marry Rebecca increased to new heights. Without a doubt, he had to find a way to convince her. If simply feeling his baby move brought him to tears, what would it be like to see his daughter, to hold her and then have to get in his car and leave her behind?
Impossible, deplorable and heartbreaking. That was how.
* * *
Rebecca held very still as Seth splayed his hands over the curve of her stomach, seemingly enraptured by the jostling baby inside. A mistake, maybe, in having him touch her. Her goal had been to derail the intimacy, the intensity, of a kiss. As it turned out, kissing Seth might have proved the safer choice.
Their baby wiggled some more, and a myriad of expressions darted over Seth. Rebecca found herself intrigued by every one of them. This man, normally so strong and unrelenting, had turned into a pile of mush right in front of her. Seeing him this way both disarmed and fascinated her. Scared her a little, too.
The connection between them morphed into something more concrete the longer his hands stayed on her stomach. Every instance their eyes met, she saw a piece of herself, of her heart, reflected in his gaze. She hadn’t expected that. As supportive as her family and friends were, no one else could truly understand the absolute love she already felt for her daughter.
No one, it seemed, but Seth.
He reminded her of Jesse. In ways far deeper than she’d originally thought. Jesse had also been decisive and focused on anything that mattered to him. He’d grabbed on to life with his entire being, propelling himself from one adventure to the next with barely a breath in between. And yes, if she’d done to Jesse what she’d done to Seth…he’d have reacted similarly.
Though there were differences between the two men, as well. Try as she might, she couldn’t see Jesse attending a birthing class if he wasn’t going to be present for the birth. She also didn’t think he would have become so emotional over feeling his unborn baby move. Oh, he’d have found the first few kicks interesting, but most of his bonding wouldn’t have happened until after the baby’s birth.
So no, she didn’t actually see Jesse when she looked at Seth. But she had to wonder if the universe was playing a joke on her by giving her a man to love, only to yank him out of her arms. And now, by bringing her a man who was enough like Jesse to initially capture her attention, but different enough to raise her curiosity.
Seth made her want and dream and hope in ways that Jesse never had. And as strong as her love had been for Jesse, an intrinsic knowledge told her that she would fall harder for Seth.
If she allowed herself to risk it all again. Naturally, she wouldn’t. She would be a very foolish woman to take the same path twice, despite how much that path beckoned.
Grasping Seth’s hands with hers, she halted their slow exploration of their daughter’s movements. “It’s getting late,” she said as way of an explanation.
He pulled back. “How do you get anything done? I could spend hours feeling her move.”
“I know.” Rebecca moved a few inches away, desperate for space. “It never stops being wondrous. She hiccups sometimes. And she kicks a lot when I have music playing.”
“What type of music?”
“Any type. She doesn’t seem all that particular in her tastes just yet.”
Seth brushed his fingers along her arm, causing Rebecca’s heart to skip a beat. “Is there anything you need that you don’t have? I want to help, Becca.”
His touch electrified her. His words warmed her soul. “I don’t think so.”
Disappointment settled over Seth. “Nothing at all?”
“I…I could use a ride to my next doctor’s appointment,” she blurted, making the offer without understanding why. “I can never find a parking space close to the office building.”
“I can absolutely do that. When?”
“Monday at three. I suppose you could even come to the appointment with me.” What was wrong with her? Her brain ordered her to rescind the suggestion now, but her heart wouldn’t let her. “In case you have any questions for the doctor.”
“That would be great.” Curiosity entered his eyes. “What’s changed here? Why are you suddenly so accommodating?”
“You said we needed to make peace with each other. That’s what I’m doing.” He continued to watch her in silence, forcing her to say, “I’m trying, okay?”
“All right.” He rubbed his hand over his jaw. “Where should I pick you up on Monday?”
“Work. You’ll have to return me to my car after, but—”
“Unnecessary,” he said in a decisive way that bore no room for argument. “I’ll drive you to work and then return to get you for the appointment. What time should I be here?”
“Six in the morning.” This man was surely going to drive her crazy. “I think we’re done for now, right? Let me write down that phone number…so you can leave.”
His forthcoming laugh was low and deep, and made everything inside of her hollow out. He pulled his phone from his pocket, pressed a few keys, and said, “What’s the number?”
She rattled it off. “No more excuses for dropping in without calling first.”
Another press of a key and the phone disappeared in his pocket again. “I can think of several reasons why I might choose to surprise you.”
“Let’s go with no on that one.” She walked to the front door, ready to be alone and hoping he’d follow. He did. Pulling her courage to the surface, she said, “We don’t have to see each other every single day. I’m not going anywhere and the baby isn’t here yet. I’m sure you have friends and family to see while you’re home.”
“I want to see you every day. And, as you so eloquently stated, we have a lot to discuss.”
“But you said we have plenty of time,” she argued, now finding it difficult to breathe. Why did he get to her on such a bone-deep level? “Several weeks, right?”
“Yup, but that doesn’t change how often I want to see you.”
“I’m still adjusting, and I know this is my fault,” she said hurriedly. “But I can’t process this quickly. Maybe…maybe we can get together a couple of times per week?”
Darkness thinned his complexion for a millisecond. “I guess that’s fair.”
“Thank you. So…we’ll see how Monday goes, and we can plan from there?”
“Sure,” he said, his attention wholly centered on her.
“Okay. Good.” Her temperature raised a degree every second he stared. “So…um…good night. And drive safe.”
“You look tired.” In less than a second, he was right there, right in front of her. Her breath caught in her chest when he caressed his thumb beneath her eyes. Warmth sank in and trembles teased and danced over her skin. “Get some sleep, sweetheart.”
“I will.” For a second that seemed an eternity, she thought he might kiss her. This time, she wasn’t sure if she had the strength to turn him away.
But he didn’t. Just nodded and left. She watched him back out of her driveway. Her fingers touched her lips in recollection of Seth’s kisses. They were gentle and sweet one second, intense and scorching the next. Not so different from the man himself.
Rebecca sighed. The next three and a half weeks were sure to be difficult. But soon enough, she’d be a single mother and Seth would return to Tacoma.
Which was exactly what she wanted, right? Right.
Somehow, the thought left her slightly off balance, as if she stood on unsteady ground that was waiting to crack open and swallow her whole. Thinking back, she realized the sensation wasn’t entirely new. It had started with Seth’s outlandish proposal less than a week ago. Would he have actually married her if she’d said yes? Probably.
Seth was a man who believed in commitment, and he wouldn’t have asked unles
s he meant to commit. To her.
A slight tilt of her chin drew her vision to the window, to the rosebushes where Seth’s diamond ring remained hidden. The compulsion to run outside and look for the ring came over her. Only in order to put it somewhere safe, of course. She’d be able to stop worrying about it, and Seth wouldn’t have to know, and— But he would.
Somehow, he would absolutely know she’d found his ring. Forget that.
Rebecca closed the door with a resounding smack and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. She had many other amazing topics to think about: her daughter, the possibility of making partner, her friends and family. Living her life the way she chose.
So, no. No way was she thinking about Seth or searching for his ring.
Chapter Six
The following morning, Seth found his parents in the living room, casually chatting over cups of coffee. John Foster had retired close to a year ago, and Seth knew his dad enjoyed his laid-back mornings. From what he’d heard from his brothers, he also knew his mother had gone through a slight adjustment period in meshing her schedule with her husband’s.
Now, though, she appeared as content as his dad. Seth liked seeing his parents happy. Their well-being centered his world and his place in it, regardless of his age or how far away from home he might be. Once his daughter was born, her happiness would affect him even more.
His daughter. What an incredible thought that was. Less than a week ago, life had seemed far less complicated. Emptier, as well, although he hadn’t realized that then. And even with his nonstop internal debate over Rebecca’s behavior and his conflicting emotions toward her, he wouldn’t turn back the clock for anything.
His parents had yet to notice him, so he mulled over his options. Should he tell them about the baby now? Part of him couldn’t wait to share the news. The other part had hoped he’d also have a wedding to announce. Unfortunately, he wasn’t entirely certain if that would ever happen—let alone, when. So yeah, he supposed now was as good a time as any.
“Morning,” he said, entering the room. “Are those blueberry muffins I smell?”
“They are.” Karen was on her feet in an instant. “Let me get you a plate.”
“Mom, no,” Seth said, stopping her before she barreled off to the kitchen. “I can get my own. But I’d like a few minutes to chat with you and Dad first.”
“Have you made a decision, then?” Karen swallowed and darted a glance toward her husband. “About what your plans are for September?”
Seth blinked. His ten-year commitment with the Air Force ended in September, and while he thought he knew what his plans were, now wasn’t the time for that discussion. “This isn’t about that. There’s something more important I need to tell you both.”
Fine lines on her forehead creased in concern as she sat down. “Are you healthy?”
“Yes,” he promised. “Perfectly healthy.”
John’s bright blue-eyed gaze narrowed. “We’ve wondered what’s been eating at you.”
Seth wasn’t surprised. When he was younger, he used to think his parents could literally read his mind. He felt a little like that now.
“I’d already decided that we were having this conversation today,” Karen said in determination. “If you were around long enough for me to get five minutes with you, that is.”
Ouch. Her intent wasn’t to scold him, but Seth felt bad nonetheless. After being deployed for so long, the expectation was that he’d spend the majority of his leave with his family. “I’m sorry for that, but it couldn’t be helped.”
One eyebrow lifted in question. “It’s fine. You’re a grown man, after all. We’ve missed you, though.” Her warm brown eyes darkened to one shade shy of black in concern and curiosity. “Sit down, honey. Tell us what’s on your mind.”
Seth situated himself on the small sofa so he could easily see both of his parents. He believed they’d be excited, but what if he was wrong?
“This is harder than I expected, but here goes,” Seth said, wishing he’d put more thought into how he was going to break the news. “When I was home in October, I met with a woman I’d been corresponding with via a military pen-pal organization. Her name is Rebecca Carmichael, and she lives here in Portland.”
“Oh!” His mother’s expressive face lost all traces of apprehension. Joy took over, and dammit, he knew exactly where her thoughts were headed. “So that’s where you’ve been spending so much of your time? With this Rebecca?”
“A lot of it, yes. But Mom, don’t get carried away. It isn’t quite what you think.” Not yet, anyway. “We…ah…spent a weekend together in October, at her place. And…” He trailed off, his tongue feeling three sizes too large for his mouth.
John laughed. “Spit it out, Seth. We’re all adults here, and your mother and I aren’t under any delusions that you’ve saved yourself for marriage.”
“Right. Of course not.” Suddenly hot, Seth swiped his hand over his jaw. Sweat bubbled on the back of his neck, so he wiped that away, too. “All right then, I’ll just say it. Rebecca and I, while we used birth control…ah… Well, it turns out that birth control isn’t always effective.”
A resounding silence encased the room for a solid minute before Karen said, “Goodness, Seth. Is she pregnant? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yes, she’s pregnant.” He coughed to clear the scratch in his throat and to give him a few seconds to consider how much he should say. As little as possible, he decided. There wasn’t any reason for his parents to be upset with Jace or Rebecca. “I would’ve told you sooner, but I only found out a few days ago. She…ah…wanted to tell me face-to-face.”
His mother sat still and quiet, absorbing the news. His father combed his fingers through his hair, nodded slowly and said, “I suppose that makes a certain amount of sense. I can understand why she’d choose to wait, but you must have been shocked by the news.”
“It was a shock,” Seth admitted. “Every now and again, it still is.”
“Also understandable. How are you holding up?”
“Better than before, and I’m excited about becoming a father.” Seth shrugged and offered a weak smile. “Somewhat nervous too, I guess. But I haven’t known for that long.”
“Having a child is a major life change for any person,” John said, as easygoing as always, no matter the circumstance. It was a trait that Seth had always appreciated. More so now than ever before. “I’d worry if you weren’t nervous.”
“A baby. Such a miracle,” Karen said in a near whisper. She gripped her coffee cup tightly with both hands and took a fortifying sip. With her equilibrium restored, she leveled her gaze with Seth’s. “When is Rebecca due? And when can we meet her?”
“She’s due in the middle of July, so about five weeks from now. As to meeting her…I’ll have to see what her schedule looks like.”
Something in his tone must have hinted at his turmoil, because his mother’s back stiffened and the lines in her forehead returned. “I’d think she’d be happy to make time in her schedule to meet your family. Unless… What aren’t you telling us, Seth? What is your relationship with Rebecca? Is there a wedding in the works, or…?”
Seth held back a sigh. “Not right now.”
“Why not?”
Mentally flipping through and disposing of a dozen possible answers, he grasped onto Rebecca’s argument from the evening at the school playground. “It isn’t the 1800s, Mom. Women can remain single and have a baby. It…ah…happens all the time now.”
“I see,” Karen said, when she clearly didn’t. “You two aren’t in love, I take it?”
Seth sent a pleading look toward his father, silently asking for his assistance. John shrugged and motioned for him to answer his mother’s question.
“I care a lot about her.” He considered confessing that he had, in fact, propo
sed to Rebecca. But then he’d also have to admit she’d rejected him. “I’m hoping we get to the point where a marriage makes sense. But for now, the topic isn’t under discussion.”
Karen huffed out an exasperated breath. “If there are feelings between the two of you, then I would say a marriage already makes a great deal of sense.”
“The situation is far more complicated than that,” Seth replied. “But—”
“Of course it is! You’re bringing a baby into this world.” She closed her eyes and Seth would bet a million bucks she was counting to ten to calm herself. “This is your life,” she said when she opened her eyes. “So I won’t push. That doesn’t mean I won’t hope, though.”
“I’m doing the same. Rebecca just needs some time to come to the same conclusion.”
“So you want to get married and she doesn’t?” Karen asked.
“It isn’t that cut-and-dried.” Why had he opened this can of worms? “She’s a great woman. You’ll both like her, I know it. She’s just very independent.”
Seth winced as soon as the words were said. His mother was going to nail him to the wall for that comment.
Karen sniffed. “A woman can’t be independent and married at the same time? I wouldn’t mention that to Grady’s wife or Jace’s fiancée if I were you.”
“You’re right,” Seth said quickly. While he’d only met his soon-to-be sister-in-law once, he knew enough about Melanie to know she’d be less than pleased by his statement. As for Olivia, well, she’d probably smack him upside his head. Which, yeah, he likely deserved.
Trying again, he said, “Other than some letters and that weekend, Rebecca and I are still getting to know each other. So let’s focus on the baby right now.”
“Sounds sensible,” John said. “Marriage is serious business.”
“Exactly,” Seth said, even though he stood on his mother’s side of the argument.
“Bring Rebecca over for a family dinner so she can meet everyone,” Karen said firmly. “That will show her how close we are, and what a wonderful father and husband you’ll make.”
An Officer, a Baby and a Bride Page 8